Baked with Love

by Erin Wright

  “Two weeks and two days. And I’m totally not counting, in case you’re wondering,” Hannah added dryly.

  “Of course not!” Cady said, laughing. “I’m sorry I haven’t been over to help you with the planning – the opening of the smoothie shop—”

  “Don’t apologize,” Hannah hurried to say. “I haven’t been over to help you with the fixing up of the Smoothie Queen either. And anyway, I have a close friend in town – Carla, she owns the flower shop, Happy Petals – and I think she’s died and gone to heaven. Helping me plan my wedding has been the highlight of her life. I think she should’ve become a wedding planner, not a florist, but she’s good at them both, soo…” She chuckled lightly and then things got quiet between them. Hannah knew that this wasn’t a just-calling-to-catch-up sort of call, and was patiently waiting for Cady to spit out the problem.

  “Well, I called because,” deep breath, “I wanted to talk to you about…you know, what happened. I need to…” And then it came out in a rush. “I can’t talk to Gage about it because he’s a guy, and I can’t talk to Sugar about it because he attacked me because of her. Of course she wants me to say yes. Emma is in Denver but she’s bold and brave and nothing scares her so she’d tell me to stop—” Cady felt the tears closing off her throat, the worry and panic and fear and guilt all battling for supremacy. She wanted to be brave like everyone said she was, but they weren’t painting a bull’s eye on their backs. It was easy for them to say words of platitude.

  Be strong. Be brave. Take this guy down. Testify against him in open court.

  And have him hating her, hunting her for the rest of her life?

  “I’m going to come pick you up,” Hannah said with an air of authority that Cady still had a hard time associating with her former roommate. She used to be so timid and shy, not wanting to give offense. But now… “It’s Black Friday so I actually have the day off, hence me being here in the house with seven hundred prepubescent girls. I’ll leave Elijah in charge of them and we can go to Franklin for lunch. There’s that great new Mexican restaurant over there. We’ll eat our way through buckets of chips and salsa, and you can tell me everything. Are you at Gage’s house?”

  “Yes. Only because he’s taking care of me because of my arm.” She didn’t know why she felt like she had to justify being at her boyfriend’s house. She had every right to be there. But still, it felt weird. She’d never lived with a boyfriend before.

  Just one more new event in her life.

  “Perfect,” Hannah said, tactfully choosing to ignore the defensiveness in Cady’s voice. “I’ll tell Elijah he’s in charge of the girls, which is only fair – I have to put up with giggling, crying, laughing, hysterical preteens all day long – and then I’ll be over. See you soon.”

  Cady tossed her phone to the side and then pulled off her ratty robe – its ease of donning and disrobing had made it a favorite of hers over the past few days – and struggled first to fit into a t-shirt, giving up after being unable to get it past her cast, and then turning her attentions to an overly large button-up shirt. She’d never worn it before; she’d bought it several sizes too big on accident and had been too lazy to return it to the store, but was finding now that its tent size was plenty useful.

  It was after one of her drug-induced naps that she’d woken up to find that Gage had sent Sugar to her apartment and together with Cady’s landlord, they’d packed up a bunch of clothes and toiletries to bring back to Gage’s house. It had all been snuggly ensconced at Gage’s house in the guest bedroom while she’d been sleeping off the drugs and the trauma.

  She’d tried to muster a small amount of anger over his high-handedness, moving her like that without her permission, but had failed completely. It was lovely to have someone take over the reins for once. It was lovely to rely on someone else.

  How did I survive before I moved to a small town, where everyone helps you just because they care about you?

  If she’d lived in Sawyer when her parents had died in that dreadful plane crash, she never would’ve retreated into her own world for months at a time. It was the size of Boise – the impersonality of such a big city – that had allowed her to disappear into its depths.

  It was true that it was a little creepy that the city dispatcher had known who she was even though she’d never met him, but the upsides of small town living? They made it worth it.

  Except Rat Bastard will always know how to find me in a town like this. If I stand up on that witness stand and I send him away for ten years, then what? He gets out and can find me within hours. I can’t hide in a town like Sawyer.

  She heard the doorbell ring then, causing Cream Puffs to start barking wildly, and slipped on her flip-flops. It was too cold to be wearing sandals but they were also the only footwear she had that didn’t require tying laces and for that reason alone, they won out.

  “Hi, Hannah,” she heard Gage’s voice drift up the stairs as she headed for them. “How’s it going? Here to see Cady?”

  “We’re going to go out to lunch,” Cady called out from the top of the stairs as she hurried down them. She saw Hannah was petting Cream Puffs who was flat on her back, pink tongue lolling out, tail swishing across the floor, joy radiating out of the pup. Her former roommate’s gorgeous red hair was in a braid, falling over her shoulder, and the thick glasses she’d worn for years were gone.

  She was beautiful. Older than she had been back when they were at BSU together, of course, but her change in personality had apparently extended to clothing and hair, too.

  This Elijah guy sure has been good for her.

  Gage looked up at Cady, grinning at her as she came down the stairs – leering at her, really. Despite the fact that Cady was wearing a shirt better suited for use as a tent and her hair was in a crooked ponytail – doing her hair was almost impossible with only one hand – he somehow found her beautiful.

  If he wasn’t wearing glasses at that very moment, she would’ve told him to go get some. His vision was clearly impaired.

  “You’re driving?” he asked Hannah. “One-Arm Cady over here isn’t safe behind the wheel.”

  “One-Arm Cady?!” Cady yelped over Hannah’s laughter. “You’re supposed to be coming up with sweet endearments. Honey, darlin’, sweetie—”

  “—Cupcake, Love Muffin, Sugar Pie,” Gage broke in.

  “Why is it that all of your nicknames have something to do with food?” she demanded when she got to the foot of the stairs. “You make it sound like you’re going to eat me for dessert.”

  “Oh, I’ll eat you,” Gage whispered in her ear, carefully gathering her up against his broad chest, making sure not to jostle her right arm. “There are parts of you that I’d love to eat right up.” He began nibbling on her ear, and Cady, a brilliant red flushing her face and neck, pulled away.

  Hannah snorted with poorly contained laughter, and Cady was just sure she’d heard every word Gage had just said. She could feel the heat of the flush reach her toes.

  “Leaving now,” she told him pertly, swinging her purse over her shoulder. “Since you don’t have me to mother over, you could go down to the bakery. See what’s happening there.”

  Gage nodded enthusiastically. “I was just thinking the same thing. See you tonight.” He gave her a thorough kiss and then smacked her on the ass as she walked through the front door, leaving a sad Cream Puffs and a laughing Gage behind.

  “Sooooo…” Hannah said as they piled into her car, Cady hurrying through the short snow drifts, teeth chattering from the cold. Thankfully it wasn’t the heart of winter yet; Cady would have to figure out how to put boots on one handed soon, though. “Things seem to be going well between you and Gage.”

  Cady shook her head, even as she laughed. “It took us a while to get past the just-friends stage, and even when we got to the dating stage, it took us a while to get to the sleeping together stage. I took my time learning to trust him. Once we started sleeping together, though…” She shook her head again and laughed. “Le
t’s just say that I think Gage’s self-control, waiting for me to be ready, is all the more impressive now that I know how horny the man is. He’s a damn smart guy, but I think he uses 98.2% of his brain power up by thinking about sex.”

  She tried to insinuate that she wasn’t exactly the same way, but was pretty sure she hadn’t fooled Hannah, at least not if the smirk on her friend’s face was anything to judge by. It was just so hard to think about anything but sex when Gage was around. Those mountains and valleys of muscles, his happy trail, his square jaw…

  He was sex on a stick. Even with her arm in a cast, they’d made it work. What was a little broken bone when it came to sex with a Greek god?

  “I have a couple of friends here in Sawyer – Michelle and Carla – and I swear they spent years of their lives drooling over Gage,” Hannah confided. “We used to have our weekly Early Spinster’s Club meeting at the bakery just so they could drool over him. It’s a good thing you’re my friend. When they first heard an out-of-towner had snagged his attention…” She shook her head in mock disapproval. “Hearts were broken all over Sawyer at the news, I can tell you that. Women have been throwing themselves at him for years and I don’t think he’s ever noticed any of ‘em. Too focused on the bakery and making a go of it, not to mention that everyone thought he and Sugar were an item for a long time.”

  “Sugar and Gage?” Cady asked, shocked. She’d seen Sugar with Jaxson; had seen how in love they were. The idea of her being in love with Gage had somehow never even crossed her mind. They ribbed each other endlessly; he treated her exactly like he treated Emma.

  Exactly like he would treat a sister.

  “Both single, both cute, both working at the bakery…it was a rumor that was bound to happen.” Hannah shrugged. “I never thought there was anything between them, but you know how small towns are.”

  The discussion drifted then, first to how her class was doing this school year, and then to how Elijah was doing going back to school himself to become an electrician. “He kept telling me he’s too stupid to learn, but he’s been doing great,” Hannah gushed, the stars in her eyes so bright, astronauts in space were probably wondering what the twinkling lights were below them. “He has to work hard, but that’s okay. It shouldn’t be easy to become an electrician. You want as few imbeciles running around as possible. Have the locals forgiven you for taking out the power in town by hiring Watson, by the way?”

  Cady laughed. It was easy to laugh now at the whole thing. It seemed so long ago. “Memories are long, but I’m hearing about it less and less as time goes by. Thank God.”

  They pulled into the parking lot of a small Mexican joint. The smells wafting out into the cold air were mouth-watering. Hannah caught the look on Cady’s face and laughed. “Yes, it is as good as it smells,” she said. “Let’s go. I hear the chips and salsa calling my name from here.”

  They were seated and after a quick scan of the menu, they ordered, the pretty, quiet Hispanic woman scurrying off to the kitchen with their order in hand. Hannah turned to Cady and an expectant hush fell over them. Cady knew that it was time. Thankfully, they were in a booth in the farthest corner from the front door and the kitchen, allowing her to keep her voice low. Even still, Hannah had to lean forward to hear her.

  “What I never told you,” Cady said, sucking in a steadying breath and then letting it out slowly, trying to calm her racing heart, “is that I was attacked while working at the physical therapist’s office.” Hannah sucked in a quick breath but otherwise did nothing, just watching Cady intently, listening to her story. “The BSU football player had been a patient of mine. Came at me from behind during his last appointment with me. I didn’t…I never went back to work there again. I tried, but I just couldn’t.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Hannah asked quietly, reaching across the table and squeezing Cady’s hand. “I wouldn’t have judged you.”

  “I didn’t tell many people,” Cady said with a small shrug. “My parents, the cops, the lawyer…”

  Hannah had graduated and headed back to Sawyer while Cady was still attending BSU, so they hadn’t been roommates when the attack had happened. Cady had never quite figured out how to call Hannah and say, “Hey, having a great day? Me too! Except, I almost got raped, so you know, that happened.”

  Somehow, she’d managed to skip that conversation.

  “Anyway, BSU offered me a settlement in return for never speaking publicly about it. I can’t tell you his name or anything about him – just that he’s now playing in the NFL back east. Bastard. At least he isn’t still in Idaho.”

  The waitress returned just then with steaming plates of food, warning them that the dishes were hot as she put them down on the table. They waited until she left, and then Cady continued, pushing her food around with her fork, not eating much. No matter how good it smelled, she found she wasn’t hungry.

  “Our family’s lawyer told us that we could probably get a larger settlement if we took him to court, especially because there had been other women and BSU had helped cover it all up. He was their star; he was going places. They wanted to be able to claim producing a top pick for the NFL draft. Allegations of rape might keep that from happening. Turns out, people don’t like rape and violence.” She snorted as she stirred her lemonade with her straw, knowing she should be eating but…

  She forced herself to take a small sip of the tart liquid.

  “But if we took the case to court, my name would get dragged through the mud. Maybe I had been leading him on. Maybe I really deserved this. You know how people can be.” She flapped her hand in the air, wishing she could just as easily brush away all of the assholes of the world who’d dare defend a rapist. “Plus, the guy was huge. If I did a quiet settlement, he’d probably let me move on with my life. If I took it to court and ‘ruined’ his life like it deserved to be ruined, then maybe he’d come after me. Maybe he’d do his best to make my life miserable. Track me down. It was easier to just let him walk away.”

  Damn tears were sliding down her face now as she looked at her friend across the table, wavy and indistinct through the liquid.

  “I was a coward. I hated myself for that. I should’ve made him pay. And now, it’s my chance to rectify that – to not be a coward this time – and all I want to do is be a coward again. I haven’t grown all that much as a human being after all. Officer Morland…I mean, Aaron – that is so weird that he’s Elijah’s older brother! – says that the state prosecutor in Boise told him that it all hinges on me. If I don’t testify against him in court, a good lawyer can make the argument that Gage and Rat Bastard just got into a couple of fistfights. Certainly nothing to lock the guy up over.”

  “‘Rat Bastard’?” Hannah broke in.

  “Richard Schmidt. But that’s such a normal name. I think Rat Bastard is a much better name – much more applicable. You might want to be friends with a guy named Richard Schmidt, but no one would want to be friends with Rat Bastard.”

  Hannah threw back her head and laughed so loud, some of the other patrons in the restaurant turned to look at them, curious what was so funny. It was such a free and jubilant move, so unlike the quiet, cautious Hannah of yesteryear.

  She’s changed so much, and it’s all been for the better. But not me – I’m still stuck in the past, wanting to hide from the jackasses of the world. Hannah would never let a rapist walk because she was too scared to take the stand.

  “It was the summer between my junior and senior year at college,” Hannah said quietly after a moment’s pause, both of them lost in thought. Cady looked at Hannah curiously, wondering where this was going. “You spent it with your parents, helping them remodel the downstair's bathroom. Remember that? I spent mine here in Sawyer. It was the Fourth of July and I was going to watch the fireworks with Dad. This was back when he was still…you know. With it. Anyway, I was walking up towards City Park as night was falling – the fireworks were going to be starting soon. I knew I needed to hurry. I went past the row of poplars
at the edge of the park, and then, he was grabbing me. Pulling me into the cover of the trees. He’d clapped his hand over my mouth to keep me from screaming, and then…”

  She trailed off, staring into the distance, not meeting Cady’s eyes. “He told me that I wanted it,” she whispered, “because I didn’t fight him. I don’t know why I didn’t. I just laid there and let him…Then he told me that I couldn’t tell the police. He’d tell them that I’d spent months trying to seduce him, and as a 15-year-old boy, he’d fallen under the spell of my charms and so of course he couldn’t be blamed for it. For having sex with me.”

  “Fifteen?” Cady asked in a quiet voice, horrified. To think of Hannah being raped by a fifteen year old when she was in her early twenties…

  It added a whole new level to the nastiness of the situation.

  “Said I’d ruin my teaching career before it even started.” She sucked in a breath and then looked straight at Cady. “He was the son of the town judge, after all, so the police would believe him over me.”

  “Town judge…” Cady just stared at Hannah, the world zooming in and out of focus as she tried to put this information into some sort of order that made sense. “Rat Bastard raped you?”

  Hannah looked up, one corner of her mouth quirking for just a moment at the nickname, and then it was gone. “When I came back to school that fall, you kept asking me what was wrong. I couldn’t bear to tell you the truth. You aren’t the only one who’s been keeping secrets.” She laughed sadly. “That’s when I started wearing my hair back in a bun and thick glasses and oversized clothes. I didn’t want a man to look at me again. Not any man, for any reason. It took Elijah a good long while to work his way through those defenses.

  “But Cady – I didn’t stand up to Richard. Didn’t tell a soul. Didn’t stop him. I couldn’t give up my career. It was all I wanted to do in my life. I couldn’t give up teaching. So I said nothing. Then he and Sugar were trapped into marriage when those photos were taken, and Sugar had to live with that man for years, until she was finally able to escape him. He won’t let her go, though, and his father will protect him from everything, so he’ll continue to dog her steps until someone gets hurt. Or killed. A restraining order – what good does that do? It doesn’t matter to a man like Richard Schmidt.”