My eyes narrowed, I might spend most of my time digging in soil and talking to a dog and a rabbit, but I wasn’t completely clueless.
“I’m onto you Charlotte, what are you really asking me?”
The beautiful blonde smiled knowingly at me. “Okay, I’m busted, so much for my wily tactics.” She laughed then turned serious.
“For as long as I have known Jason he hasn’t shown any interest in any woman. Zoe was the only one for him, his words. He is gruff and sometimes down right rude when it comes to the fairer sex, other than Shiloh of course.”
I nodded in agreement because there was no use in denying his sometimes appalling behaviour. I had seen it first hand, and quite frankly it shocked me. He never treated me with anything but respect so to see him do it to others was bewildering.
“And never with you,” Charlotte added, as if she read my mind.
“He is nice to his mate Chase’s wife,” I said stalling, I knew it but Charlotte’s gentle and clever interrogation was becoming a little too uncomfortable. Jason said he wanted to talk with me later, first needing time to sort through things in his own mind. Whatever that meant. Something was telling me I should wait for he and I to talk first before I let Charlotte loose on me.
“He is, you are right. And I am being far too nosey Kelsey and I am sorry for prying,” she apologised, looking not in the least ashamed or sorry. “ I guess I just want to see him happy and living again. You know, the men of the Souls are a stubborn bunch of cusses, not so much now, but when I first met them all I wanted to scream at them was how they couldn’t see what was right in front of them. My soldier man did not have that problem when it came to pursuing me however.” The blush that stained her face suddenly made me laugh.
“No, Deck cannot be described as one who doesn’t go after what he wants. He is a seek, conquer and take kind of a man.” I agreed wholeheartedly.
“And his brother wears his heart on his sleeve, right?”
Shaking my head slowly, I disagreed. “He used to be that type, but now he is a leave me alone kind of a guy… except when it comes—”
“To Shiloh and you.” Charlotte finished for me. “I know it must be hard to be in love with someone who gave his heart to another. Maybe you should have a chat to Memphis, she went through a very similar thing with Creed,” Charlotte said cryptically, and I had no other option but to ask her one more question.
“What do you mean?”
Charlotte reached out and slid the hair covering my face behind my ear, a soft kind smile on her face.
“She knows what it was like to compete with the memory of a lost love. She also knows what it is like to break through that memory to become Creed’s everything.”
I know if I could see myself right now, my mouth would be hanging open.
“I really don’t think I could come anywhere close to being that to Jason,” I stammered.
Charlotte got off the bed, straightening her pretty sundress of a non-existent wrinkle, then looked back at me.
“Don’t be so sure about that Kels. Miracles do happen you know, just ask Memphis.” She winked at me then walked quietly out of my room, leaving me even more confused than ever. The only thing I was sure about was my visit to Memphis’ book store was going to happen sooner rather than later.
Chapter 7
JASON
Getting a chin lift from Seb, and giving him one back in return. I made my way into the back entrance of Kelsey’s house, whistling for Sassy to come with me. It had been a fuck of a long day, and all I wanted to do was hit my bed and sleep until my alarm wakes me at six the next morning. Sleep was going to have to wait because Kelsey and I needed to work out a few things.
After I left Kelsey in the safe hands of Seb and Charlotte earlier today, I took care of some firearm business at the compound then went to see Jamie. Chase’s wife and I formed a kind of a bond after I helped her with an issue she’d had with her former coach. Admittedly, at first I was more of a dick than a friend, but the sweet, high school tennis coach never held my rudeness against me, instead offering me someone to confide in without judgement. She was incredibly easy to talk to, with the added bonus of not knowing Zoe at all. Other than Charlotte and Memphis, the rest of the members and their women knew Zoe. Their opinions meant a lot to me, but where my thoughts as far as forming a relationship with Kelsey went, I needed someone more unbiased on the subject of my wife to understand why I was having so much trouble moving on from her.
“Most importantly, do you have actual feelings for Kelsey?” Jamie asked me. Baby Luna was sleeping peacefully in her arms. The baby girl favoured her mother in every way physically but her easy temperament was all her old man’s. Being around the baby didn’t sit well for me, but Jamie refused to let me get out of my weekly visits with her. Her insistence we keep in touch meant I spent time with Luna as well. Secretly, I enjoyed our coffee and chat sessions and Jamie knew it, I just liked to keep up the appearance of being a grumpy bastard.
“I do, yes,” I answered her question without hesitation. My recent jump in the way I was seeing Kelsey worried me, and yet I couldn’t stop thinking about her sitting in my lap, her nose pressed into my neck while her lips trembled against my skin. It was definitely unchartered territory, but the pull was too strong to ignore any longer.
“Then go for it,” Jamie told me, adjusting the small beanie on her daughter’s tiny head. I smiled at the pink, knitted cap with the Wounded Souls’ logo embroidered in a darker pink thread, a gift from Shiloh.
“Just like that?” I asked her with a snap of my fingers.
“Yep. She likes you, you like her; she is a lovely person so, I don’t see a problem. And it will be good to see you all loved up for a change. You are far too grumpy,” Jamie told me with a chuckle.
I didn’t bother refuting her claim of me falling in love.
That wasn’t going to happen.
Pushing the back door open, I shook off the conversation with Jamie and headed inside, the cool air from the air conditioner relieving my hot skin immediately.
“Kels?” I called out from the mudroom.
“Hey you! I’m in the lounge room,” came her cheerful reply.
Well, at least she sounded better than when I left her earlier today. Walking through the kitchen, smelling the aromas of lasagne cooking in the oven, I ignored my growling stomach and continued through the house until I reached the lounge room.
“Kelsey, what the hell are you doing?” I asked, stupefied at the vision in front of me.
Kelsey sat cross-legged on the carpet with a desk fan blowing on her face, and all around her was a mess of materials, sequins and every kind of glue bottle imaginable.
I sucked in my breath as Kelsey lifted her head and smiled at me. Her beautiful face was no longer red, and her hair— fuck me, her hair was pulled back from her face and fastened at the top of her head in a weird messy bun looking thing, a pencil poked through the middle acting as a clip keeping it in place. Her scar was on full display, she wasn’t hiding it behind her hair. She was carefree almost like the old Kelsey before… shaking away the horrible memory of finding her torn up, I concentrated on what Kelsey was saying.
“I kind of volunteered to help with Shiloh’s school play costumes. Charlotte said sequins are banned from the compound,” she said with a shrug. “Whatever that means.”
“Yeah, she doesn’t have fond memories of sequins,” I muttered drily, remembering a time when I called into the club to fetch a younger Shiloh after an SOS from Charlotte one night. From the stories I heard, my brother was still in his dick phase that night.
Dropping to the floor beside her, I picked up some pink camo printed material, then tossed it back on the pile.
“So, you got the job, hey? What is this play about exactly?” I asked, eying all the different embellishments scattered around the carpet.
“I have no clue, all I know is I need to sew and paste sequins and these glass jewels to Shiloh’s camo pants, shirt and this
—” she reached forward and showed me a gun belt, the same kind I saw my brother and the other members of his commando team wear in a photo. This one was just as big as theirs, so maybe it was her dad’s.
“I have to cut it to fit Shiloh of course,” Kelsey added, confirming my assumption.
“Are they doing a Disney version of Apocalypse Now?” I half-joked, knowing that this was a play my niece was in after all.
“I didn’t ask to be honest, I am just happy to be able to help.” Kelsey laughed along with me. Her laugh really was amazing, her face lit up, her shoulders shook, her whole body got in on it.
“So, how are you feeling Mermaid?” I looked closely at her, looking for signs of any lasting effects from her heatstroke. While her skin was back to normal, I was still concerned for her. Protection reared fierce again in me, protecting Kelsey was fast becoming a priority for me.
“Better, much better. I haven’t done a single thing all day since you brought me back here and ordered me to stay in bed. Seb fed the animals and even did some digging in the garden for me. He planted the seedlings I bought yesterday, with help or, more like hindrance from Shiloh and little Bastian,” she told me with a snicker.
Our banter about the kids and the play was pleasant and comfortable, but I had a more important subject to discuss with her.
Wiping my hands on my jeans, I suddenly wished I’d taken the time for a shower before arriving at Kelsey’s. The anticipation of what I had to offer her too important to take second fiddle to a shower.
“That’s good sweetheart, you scared me there for a minute,” I told her honestly. If we were to go forward and start something, honesty had to be the key. All I had to do was lay it out to her what I was offering and see if she agrees.
Easy and without the mess called love.
“Kels, I have something I need to talk about with you,” I started out by saying, watching her paste a large fake looking ruby to Shiloh’s pink gun holster.
“Mmmkay, shoot,” she answered, still not looking at me. Her pink tongue poked out between her pouty lips in concentration, but in my mind, that tongue was running along the tip of my bulging cockhead, licking up the pearl of precum.
A groan left me, the imagery far too hot and enticing.
“You okay Jason?”
Nothing your mouth wrapped around my cock wouldn’t fix.
Giving myself a mental smack across the face, I moved to my knees, reached out and took most of the craft shit from Kelsey, tossing it to the floor. Her green eyes bugged, her mouth slightly open in surprise.
“Kelsey, I think we should start seeing each other. We have feelings for each other, we have known one another forever, know each other’s moods. Know when the other needs space and time apart. It’s the perfect solution.” I gulped once then sat back on my heels and waited.
Kelsey had stopped midway gluing on a fake jewel, her mouth open in the cutest little O.
“Shocked ya huh?”
“Um, yes. So, you want us to start seeing each other because it is the perfect solution?” she asked carefully, shaking her head as if she couldn’t quite understand. “The perfect solution for what exactly?”
“For us. I am in my forties Kels, I’m over the one-night stands, the strange faces and beds. I don’t want that anymore, but I also don’t want to fall in love again.” I tried to explain, but by the grim look on her pretty face, I concluded I was doing a pretty piss poor job of it.
“So, you want to have sex with me, so you don’t have to take the time to find a bed partner?” She did not sound happy with my plan, judging by the scowl and the narrowed eyes she was giving me, I might be in danger of her stabbing me with the scissors by her side.
“I’m not explaining this right,” I muttered dropping my face into my hands.
“No, you are doing a real bang up job of making me feel like shit Jason.” Throwing the belt and beads off her lap, Kelsey jumped to her feet, pissed off as all get out and sexy as fuck.
“I tell you what, why don’t you just leave a few hundred dollars on the nightstand after you bang me, that way we both know what this plan really is. You won’t have to worry about me falling in love with you, and I will know beyond a shadow of a doubt what I really mean to you,” Kelsey shouted at me, then turned and stormed out of the room. Her feet stomping down the hall until she reached her room then her door slammed shut.
My jaw clenched, fury boiled inside me.
What in the actual fuck! Rising to my feet, I wasted no time in going after her. I wanted answers, she was going to explain that asinine comment about paying her for sex. I accepted that my delivery was less than flattering for her, but she meant a whole lot to me, more than I cared to admit out loud, and Kelsey’s reaction was forcing my hand.
It is time she finds out just how much she means to me, and the consequences for saying that bullshit.
Chapter 8
KELSEY
“The god damn nerve of that man!” I shouted to no one in particular. Pacing my room, I kicked anything that was in my path, slippers went flying across the floor, picking up a patchwork cushion I hefted it against the wall in anger.
“How… how… fucking dare he!” I cursed, something I did not do often. Growing up across the road from the Johnston brothers I learned some pretty colourful phrases but rarely said any myself. Whenever I did let loose and say bad words, Jason would lecture me that nice girls didn’t swear. Well, I guess I was no longer a nice girl because the f-word was going to be said a hell of a lot more times before the end of the night.
I was no call girl, no booty call to scratch an itch Jason might have. Yes, I was in love with him, irrevocably, totally and soul deep in love. And despite the ugly things he just came out with— his plan for us, a tiny part of me wanted to scream yes and agree to anything that would get me close to Jason. Thankfully, that tiny stupid weak part wasn’t as dominate as my sensible side. The side of dignity and respect for myself.
I wasn’t a charity case, the poor, pathetic virgin desperate for a man to deflower her.
No one, not even the sexy Jason Johnston was going to make me stoop that low.
The sound of heavy footsteps coming quickly down the hall, stopped my pacing and ranting. Rushing quickly to the door, I hurriedly snapped the small locking latch near the knob then stepped back from the door just as pounding started.
“Kelsey, I heard you engage the lock, open this fucking door right the fuck now,” Jason bellowed from the other side.
“No! Go home Jason I don’t want to talk to you right now,” I shouted back at him. “I am no prostitute and you just made me fucking feel like one.”
“Kelsey, I do not think that and you know it. I understand I messed all that up, but I have never—” he stopped yelling and started jiggling at the knob.
Oh shit! He knows how to unlock the door from the other side, I thought dismally. When I was younger I used to lock my mother and her boyfriends out of my room, then one day Jason taught me how to use the pointed end of a teaspoon to lock the door so I could keep it locked while I wasn’t home, effectively blocking my mother from stealing money from me when I was at school. I didn’t think then that years later it would come back to bite me on the arse.
Just as I was contemplating the window for my escape, my bedroom door banged open, hitting the wall with a loud thud and Jason stood there with his pocket knife in his hand.
“Couldn’t be fucked going to get a spoon,” he said by way of an explanation then stalked towards me. His sapphire blue eyes nearly black as he approached me.
“Now, you care to repeat that fucking shit you just yelled at me Mermaid? Because I would love to hear why you came to the conclusion that I regard you as a hooker.” Crowding me against my dresser, I flattened my hands on the wooden surface of the drawers, my breath hitched in my throat. He was so close I could see the frantic beat of the pulse in his neck, and the tick of his jaw.
Oh god, Jason pissed off was a beautiful sight.
&nbs
p; “You said—”
“I know what I said Kelsey, I admit I didn’t say it well, but at no time did I say or think that crap about you.”
I felt the deep growl in his tone all the way to my core, absently my thighs rubbed together, and my fingers itched to trail down the column of his throat and feel the rapid beat of the corded vein.
“You… you want sex with no attachment. I can’t do that Jason,” I whispered, my lips were suddenly so dry. All I wanted was to lean forward and press them to his and relieve the ache I had building between my legs. This attraction simmering between Jason and I was foreign to me, I was used to it being only one-sided, my side. And for Jason to suddenly reciprocate, I couldn’t help the uneasy taste of suspicion in my mouth.
“Listen to me Kels, I didn’t mean that we have a tactless sexual fling. That’s exactly what I don’t want anymore,” Jason said quietly, his forehead coming forward to rest on mine. This was the Jason I loved the most, the gentle man who wore his heart on his sleeve. He became a different, harsher man after Zoe died, he showed that side to most people, wouldn’t let them in. Trust was hard for him now, trusting a woman with his heart, a heart so fragile because of pain and loss. He’d lost so much, the unfairness of it ripped at me, because I knew the real Jason that he was now.
Feeling bolder than I should have, I pried my fingers from the carved wood indents and slowly brought my hands up to cup his hair-stubbled face, nearly sighing when he leaned into my touch, his eyes closing.
“Hey, honey, it’s okay. Let’s start again, come on and sit with me.” I encouraged him, indicating with my head to the bed. Jason nodded once, then walked backwards, his hands on mine, holding them to his face. It wasn’t the easiest task to walk in shuffled steps with my hands planted on his cheeks, but we made it work and we both sank down on the end of my high bed.
Love Heals (The Love Duet Book 2) Page 7
