My bed was one of those old-fashioned ones that had a tall base with a step all around the mattress. My grandmother left it to me when she passed away, something my mother never forgave her for or me. My grandmother’s will stated that mum couldn’t sell anything that had been bequeathed to me, that included her jewellery and trinkets she held most dear. My mother saw nothing but dollar signs, and spent most days threatening me if I didn’t hand them over. I never did, thanks to Jason helping me with figuring out the locking of my room. I kept nan’s treasures in an old shoebox, safely in the air vent high up in the wall. Years had gone by since I had climbed the tallboy chest of drawers, got the box out and admired the precious memories of a lovely, kind woman I’d lost far too soon in life.
“Mermaid?” Jason’s soft whisper penetrated my wandering mind, looking at him I noticed our position. He was sitting fully on the plump mattress whilst I had one leg on the bed and one hooked over one of his muscled thighs. I was so close to him; the inside of my crotch was pressed tight against his denim covered leg.
“Shit, sorry,” I mumbled then tried to move, but his hand squeezed my thigh to stop me.
“No, don’t!” he argued, his fingers digging into me, massaging me. “This is what I was meaning back in the lounge. You are comfortable with me, sometimes you don’t even know that you touch me. Small touches like, cupping my face, or standing close to me and rubbing your hand over the back of my neck. It wasn’t until just now, just when you cupped my face did I admit to myself how much I like you touching me.”
“We have done the hard yards already. We have years of friendship behind us, we know each other, our quirks, our faults. We have the best basis for more.”
I searched his handsome face for signs that he was lying or bullshitting me, but all I saw was the raw truth behind his words. Our bond was years in the making, and I did know nearly everything there was to know about him and him me.
A spark of hope ignited deep in my belly, only one thing worried me.
“And love? Can you love again, love me?” I asked, only to wish the words back. A part of me would take him anyway I could get him, to have him more than just a friend. I feared that my heart wouldn’t agree, that I couldn’t accept anything less than I deserved.
I wanted love, to be loved and cherished, hell I would accept being put on a pedestal and adored. And it had to be Jason. No one else would do. Only his hands on my body, his mouth worshipping me. His heart belonging to me.
My gaze rivetted on his strong, chiselled chin unable to bring myself to look in his eyes and see the truth when he told me no.
“Baby look at me.” He used one calloused finger to lift my chin and tilt it until his blue eyes met mine.
“I don’t know the answer to that Mermaid, I’m not sure if I can love again. Not the deep love I had for Zoe, that is a pain I wouldn’t wish on my greatest enemy.”
My heart broke again for this beautiful sensitive man, all I wanted to do was take all his pain so he could feel what I did, so deeply. Give him a light to walk towards instead of the darkness he insisted on living with daily.
“Not all love ends in pain Jason. Love can lift you higher and fill you with so much joy and happiness. You love Shiloh and Bastian, the Flock. And in a way you love me, not the romantic kind,” I hastened to add, not wanting to scare him off when he was finally opening up to me. “But it is love. The way you cared about me today when you found me lying on the ground, that has to mean something to you.” I encouraged him, silently hoping that he didn’t hear the begging I felt with each word.
“I do care about you Kelsey, more than you know. Whether or not it will become something more— I guess I am asking you to take a leap of faith with me and see.” Now his voice was begging, Jason Johnston didn’t beg, he marched to his own beat and eff everyone who didn’t agree. He was asking me to choose him, to choose us and any possible future we might have. And that was the biggest consequence of leaping, what if we messed up and our bond broke? Being without Jason in my life didn’t bear thought, I would rather have him as a friend than experience a slice of heaven and lose the lot.
I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled myself around the front of his body until I was flush on his lap, his arms immediately caged me to him. The heat from his body so close against mine, and achingly sweet.
Leaning forward, I pressed my lips to his, not kissing him just resting on them, the scruff of his short beard tickling.
“I won’t risk us not being friends for life. You have been the biggest and best part of my life since I was a little girl. I can’t remember a time you didn’t exist for me, even when you went to the academy we still kept in touch, you checked up on me,” I whispered, our faces so close I could see into the intense depth of his blue eyes, seeing how my speech affected him.
“I won’t let it. I promise you baby, I won’t break us.” Jason promised, just as his mouth opened over mine and kissed me properly for the first time in my life. Heat radiated through me, I did my best to keep up and not make a complete fool of myself showing my inexperience with the opposite sex. I left my eyes open, wanting to see, to remember everything about our first kiss, and was totally surprised to be met with Jason’s deep blue ones staring right back at me. My fingers dug into the hair at the back of his neck, thriving on being able to touch him so freely without the need of the excuse of being upset or scared.
His own hands freely moved up and down my back, now and then his fingers slipped under my T-shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake. Moaning low in my throat, I shimmied further into his body, his bulging crotch firmly against my core.
“Fuck! Kelsey, sweetheart,” Jason growled against my mouth, his tongue licking and lapping at my tongue, the look in his eyes staring intensely at me just as potent as his kisses.
Breaking the kiss, simply because I needed to breathe, I pressed my forehead to his.
“Okay,” I whispered my answer to his promise.
“Yeah?” he whispered back, his lips forming a smile on mine.
“Yeah,” I confirmed, ignoring the nagging voice in the deep recesses of my brain that was telling me Jason had already lied, and wouldn’t be able to keep his promise.
Being a girlfriend had its challenges. The differences between a friendship and a relationship were subtle but, in some ways demanding.
Take today for example, two days ago after Jason and I took the leap of faith and became a couple he kissed me senseless, fed me then tucked me into bed. I would have thought we’d have made love, I refused to think of it as just sex, for me at least, there was love. Jason said he didn’t want to overwhelm me all at once, I believed him, one look in his eyes and I saw the truth. I grudgingly agreed, my traitorous body begged for some kind of release, but once again Jason thought it better that we spend a few weeks dating and establishing our coupledom first. We knew each other as friends, but he insisted knowing each other as a couple was completely different.
I had no choice but to go with his reasoning, he had been there and done that, while I had not.
Which brought us to now, Monday. I woke up as I usually did, showered and dressed for my day. I know showering then going out into the garden to get dirty again didn’t make much sense, but here was the thing– I loved showers, I was addicted to them. The biggest expense I forked out after my mother went to prison and the house became mine alone was to install a larger instant hot water system. My house was old, and waiting for the water to heat up for a three-minute shower didn’t appeal to me as a kid and wouldn’t do as an adult. My idea of heaven, other than Jason kissing me and touching me, was long, hot, luxurious showers. I had two a day, one in the morning and one at night. Now my hair was shorter, I didn’t care about going to bed with wet hair, although, Jason might. I made a mental note to shower a little earlier from now on and use my hair dryer before he came over or when I went to his house.
So, after a lovely steaming hot shower, I dressed and went about to feed my animals only to find
that my overbearing new boyfriend had already been here before he left for work and taken care of that chore, in fact, he had taken care of all my morning chores. And right now, I was looking out my window watching Seb and Squid, two members from Jason’s club tilling over my new veggie plot with a power tiller.
I was not happy.
I liked to get out there and use my old school manual tools to dig in the earth.
However, my alpha obnoxious new boyfriend thought otherwise, which he wrote on a post-it note that he stuck to my fridge.
The boys are here to do all the manual labour until you are fully recovered.
End of conversation.
See you later this afternoon or early evening.
Your Man.
See? Challenges, one of many if I knew Jason.
Lucky for me, I was just as stubborn and just as determined as my annoying, but sexy boyfriend.
Chapter 9
JASON
“What the hell?” I muttered when I saw Seb and Squid walking across the grass towards the playground my club brothers built for Shiloh when she was younger, now also for the other kids.
The two men were supposed to be at Kelsey’s until I got back. The woman was as stubborn as a brick wall, she wouldn’t rest like I insisted if she knew there was work to be done. Which was why I asked them to be there and do it for her.
Shoving my helmet on the tank of my Harley Davidson Fat Boy, I jumped off and strode to them, letting out a shrill whistle as I went to get their attention.
“Yo! Why the fuck are you here and not at Kelsey’s?” I asked them when I got closer.
Seb smirked and jerked his head to the main door of the compound. “Calm down brother. We got done early and Kels said we could take off for the day.”
I gritted my teeth at the use of her shortened name coming from him. “Her name is Kelsey, use it. So, you came back to the compound and left my woman who is still recovering from heatstroke alone?”
“Don’t pull your gun brother, we told her that you wouldn’t like her being alone so we brought her back here to the compound,” Squid chimed in, he had a big smirk of his own adding to my annoyance at the pair.
Turning my head, I scanned the parking lot for the red Ranger but saw nothing.
“The Ford isn’t here. How did she get here?” Two options reared their ugly heads in my mind and neither appealed to me. She either walked or she—
“Brought her on the back of my bike. That woman of yours is truly the perfect pillion passenger, she is better than Rainn and that chick has been on the back of Mannix’s bike forever,” Squid informed me, as if he was telling me she ate an ice cream and not that my woman had her arms and tight toned legs wrapped around another man’s waist.
Flexing my fists against my thighs, I resisted the urge to punch that proud smile off my brother’s face. Shoving past them, I jogged across the lawn, looking back over my shoulder as I went past them both.
“Last time you have my woman on your bike, and don’t call her Kels, fucker,” I shouted at the idiots. Kelsey was mine god damn it, and if she thought for one minute we weren’t serious… she was going to rethink things and fast.
Reaching the main door, I pushed the huge carved door open and suddenly all the inner turmoil thinking of Kelsey on another man’s bike washed away. One thing accomplished that, and one thing only.
Kelsey.
My lovely redhead was sitting on the floor, a happy smile splitting her beautiful face as she sat with Shiloh, Steel’s daughter Meagan and Mannix’s twins Evie and Lacie playing Barbie dolls. Although, Shiloh, being the tomboy that she was, had a GI Joe doll dressed all in camo and the doll’s jeep that used to be pink was now a bottle green colour. Darth’s influence over my niece was still very much alive even if he wasn’t.
I stood hidden by one of the many potted indoor plants that were dotted around the main room of the compound, another contribution from the Flock to make the compound a more family friendly environment, and just watched the pure pleasure on Kelsey’s face. Her laughter rang through the large room every time Shiloh threw the blonde doll Meagan was trying desperately to sit in the jeep with poor Joe.
From my position, although out of Kelsey’s line of sight unless she turned her head in my direction, I could hear the playful banter between the small group.
“Mermaid, you don’t like boys do ya?” Shiloh asked, making me grin in anticipation of Kelsey’s answer.
“You know Squirt, I kind of like one boy very much,” she answered, flicking her hair away from her face, something I noticed she had been doing a lot in the past few days. Her scar never bothered me, it didn’t take anything away from her appeal to me. I couldn’t give a fuck how other men saw her, in fact I’d rather they didn’t see her at all.
“No shit! Is it Uncle Jason? Because it should be, Darth said that man needs to get laid. He also said you are perfect to pull his head out of his arse. Ya know, Darth says that a lot about the Souls. Maybe they should go see a doctor or something,” Shiloh said, too busy musing on her comment and not the choked laughter coming from Kelsey and Charlotte, who was sitting on the couch behind the kids with little Sebastian sitting beside her eating a banana.
“Fucking Darth,” I muttered, coming out from behind the plant and making my way to Kelsey. I had to admit the big prick was right about one thing, I wanted to get laid, and there was only one woman I wanted to accomplish that task.
Officially, we became a couple only two days ago. I could have taken her that night and ten times since, but I wanted to show her this wasn’t a passing fancy or that she was just someone to pass the time. At my age, being alone didn’t hold any appeal any more. I liked the companionship of a woman, sitting on a couch cuddling and watching TV or just sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner and talking about our days.
Deep down I knew I was over the fierce pain of losing Zoe, the dull ache was bearable or at the least tolerable. Now, the ache of being a part of something special again kicked up a notch, giving me the clue, I was ready to move on in some ways. Not wanting to be a father still held strong, that pain clung to me every single time I looked at Shiloh.
Not that I hadn’t come to terms that she wasn’t my daughter, Deck bulldozed Shiloh onto me not long after he got her home from the hospital. I might have hidden from life, but no way was my brother going to let me hide from the daughter he and my wife created together.
He gave me time with her whenever I wanted, she stayed with me overnight from the age of two weeks. I did my time walking her up and down the hall in the middle of the night when colic plagued the tiny infant. I changed my fair share of dirty nappies and got covered in my fair share of baby spit. And, while it was hard at first, I was grateful that my brother gave me no choice and refused to allow me to hold the baby accountable for Zoe’s death. Not that I ever would have, I guess he worried that I would retreat into myself and put distance between Shiloh and myself, to make Zoe’s passing easier.
I couldn’t imagine life without the raven-haired princess, she brightened my life in every single way. I was still a grumpy bastard, but Shiloh gave me light, as did Kelsey.
“Shiloh, did I hear you curse?” I asked my niece, as I approached the rug they were sitting on. Winking at Kelsey, I leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on her lips, enjoying her intake of breath. I meant for it to be quick, but when she pushed her head back further and opened her mouth under mine, the need to taste her properly surfaced. Without breaking our kiss, I dropped to my knees in front of her, dug my hands into her soft hair, holding her still as I deepened our kiss. Her small hands gripped my biceps over my leather cut, digging into my arm. My mouth swallowing her low moans and whimpers. My woman liked to kiss, and I fucking loved that she did, and that she lost herself so much in our kisses she didn’t even care about our young audience.
“Give me a break for the love of god,” Shiloh muttered beside me, bringing the spectacular hello from Kelsey to an end, for now.
�
��Hi there,” Kelsey croaked out, a delightfully sexy blush on her cheeks.
“Hi there yourself Mermaid. I hear you got here on the back of Squid’s bike,” I said in a low tone, my eyes not leaving hers.
“Huh?”
“Oh, dear me,” Charlotte muttered from the couch, making me break eye contact with Kelsey and look over at her.
“Looks like I need to get the Flock together and let Kelsey in on a few things.”
“Huh?” Kelsey said again, looking back to Charlotte then at me. “Huh?”
Reaching a hand out, I gently brought her chin to look directly at me. “Only my bike Kelsey, only my waist do those sexy legs wrap around. Only. Me,” I told her firmly, not giving her any other option but to agree.
“Oh, um o—okay?” she answered uncertainly. She didn’t understand but she would, being part of an MC, even one that stayed on the right side of the law like the Wounded Souls, had rules. We didn’t call our wives or girlfriends ‘Old Ladies’ like other clubs but the code of not going on another man’s bike still held.
“I need a drink. Do you want anything sweetheart?”
“Oh, no I’m fine thanks babe.” I wasn’t sure if Kelsey was aware of the fact she had fallen into the habit of using endearments for me but I did. I liked it when she called me babe, or honey, but I was glad she hadn’t come up with a nickname for me. Zoe used to call me Lawman, I didn’t want that from Kelsey. Harsh as it sounded, I just knew it would feel wrong. I preferred the sweeter names along with that soft look in her jade eyes and the pink blush.
Giving Kelsey another quick kiss, I rose to my feet, walked over to Charlotte and gave her a peck on the cheek, ruffled Bastian’s hair then took off for the bar at the other end of the room. I know my decision to start something with Kels was a good one, it just wasn’t going to be the same connection I had once with Zoe. Different this time was better for my heart and my head.
Love Heals (The Love Duet Book 2) Page 8
