The Entirely True Story of the Unbelievable FIB

by Adam Shaughnessy

  “First, I’m smiling because the sun came out this morning, just before I left for Asgard. That’s always nice. I like the sun.”

  Gristling scoffed, but Loki frowned, slightly.

  “Second, I’m smiling because I’m on a whole new world. I mean, we’re not on Midgard anymore. And, you know, travel can be so exciting.”

  Loki’s frown deepened.

  “And the third reason I’m smiling,” Pru said, raising her eyes to meet Loki’s, “is because I know how to do something only the best detectives can do. I know how to read lips—including my own.”

  A look of understanding blossomed on Loki’s face, a moment too late, unfortunately for him. Even as Loki drew his breath to speak, Pru’s hand slipped into her messenger bag. It slid past her father’s badge. The shield couldn’t help her now. There was no place left to hide. And she was done hiding, anyway. Instead, her fist tightened around another item in the bag.

  Pru screamed, “Thor!”

  CHAPTER

  24

  SILENCE DEVOURED THE CLEARING.

  A moment passed.

  Another.

  “Pathetic.” Gristling began to laugh, though there was a nervous edge to his laughter that no one missed. “You wasted your last breath in a useless call for help. You shame your fathers and starve ravens with your cowardice!”

  Pru withdrew her hand from her messenger bag and dangled the object she held in front of her. It was the amulet Thor had given her.

  “No!” Gristling hissed as dark clouds formed in the sky above.

  “Just so you know,” Pru said, with a glance at ABE, “I don’t think of it as being a coward. I think of it as using good judgment to plan for the future.”

  “Prudence,” said an awed ABE, who was an excellent person to have around when defining a word, or redefining oneself.

  “Oh, and Loki?” Pru called out.

  Loki tore his panicked gaze away from the dark clouds above to look at Pru.

  “Just so you know? You may be the Lord of Lies, but I’m the better Fibber.”

  Loki stared at Pru as a low rumble began to fill the air. To Pru’s great surprise, he mouthed the words “Very clever, indeed,” just before a thunderclap tore through the clearing and knocked everyone, including the giants, from their feet. The Eye of Odin tumbled from Loki’s hand as a voice boomed through the clearing.

  “Loki, what strange company you’re keeping.”

  When Pru recovered from the blast of sound, Thor stood in the center of the clearing, an inferno of fiery hair and temper. He looked just like Pru remembered him, except now he held a vicious-­looking war hammer in a clenched fist.

  “Is that really Thor?” ABE whispered as he and Pru regained their footing.

  “Yup.”

  “Wow.”

  “Totally.”

  Pru thought she saw the thunder god wink in their direction.

  “Thor,” Loki said, spreading his arms open in a plea for understanding, “this is not what it looks like. These children were in danger. I pretended to ally myself with the giants so that—”

  “Liar!” Gristling roared, climbing back to his feet. The clearing exploded with the rage of the betrayed giants. Thunder boomed as Thor threw himself into battle. He hurled his hammer at his nearest foe, sending the giant toppling into one of his comrades. Wind ripped through the clearing, stirring a blinding cloud of dirt as thunder pounded all around.

  “Follow me!” Ratatosk called as he took off through the developing skirmish.

  “Wait!” ABE said, and he disappeared for a moment into the cloud of battle.

  “ABE, stop! Where are you going?” In a panic, Pru looked from where ABE had vanished in a swirl of dust and flailing giants’ limbs to where Ratatosk stood, gesturing her to follow.

  Just as she was about to chase after ABE, he reemerged from around the side of a vanquished giant’s head. He carried something clutched close to his chest—the Eye of Odin!

  “Are you insane?” Pru asked.

  “They were going to rend our flesh,” ABE protested. “I couldn’t just let them keep it.”

  Pru couldn’t argue with that.

  “Hurry!” Ratatosk urged.

  Somehow, Ratatosk found a safe path through the chaos. How they avoided getting crushed by a falling giant or shattered limb from Yggdrasil, Pru would never know. Ahead, the largest root Pru had seen yet rose up from the ground. An enormous crack split the root in two. Ratatosk led them into the crack and through to the cavernous space that lay beyond.

  “We’re inside Yggdrasil!” Pru’s voice echoed around them.

  “So what do we do now? How do we get out of here?” ABE asked.

  “Yggdrasil goes everywhere, if you know your way around,” Ratatosk explained. “And I know my way better than anyone.”

  “You mean you can get us home?” Pru asked.

  Ratatosk twitched his tail in answer and sped ahead.

  Pru and ABE followed. But with her next step, Pru felt only air where the ground had just been solid. She fell to her bottom and began to slide downward through a great, winding, hollow tube. A trickle of water accompanied her on her descent.

  “This is just like a water slide!” Pru exclaimed as a sudden weight on her shoulder announced Ratatosk’s arrival.

  “Fun, yes?” Ratatosk seemed pleased. Pru suspected he hadn’t had much opportunity to share his knowledge of Yggdrasil with others. “Water gathers in the roots and feeds the three magic springs!” Ratatosk yelled as the wind roared around them. “This is the fastest way to travel, and the most exhilarating!”

  “Just so long as I don’t get splinters!” ABE called from just behind them.

  The surface beneath was smooth, no doubt from countless eons of flowing water. The ride had so many twists and turns, though, it made the fiercest roller coaster seem like a merry-­go-­round at a kiddie park.

  Eventually, the slope leveled out and Pru and ABE regained their footing. Ratatosk leapt off Pru’s shoulder and dashed ahead toward a crack of light. The squirrel slipped through the opening easily, but Pru and ABE had to squeeze their way through. Finally, they emerged, gasping and wet, into the light and the world beyond.

  “Where are we?” Pru asked, her eyes still adjusting.

  “We’re back. Pru, we’re back in the cemetery!”

  Blinking, Pru took in her surroundings. ABE was right. They stood beneath the shade of an old ash tree in the cemetery, having just emerged from a hole between the tree’s gnarled roots.

  “We’re back! We did it! I can’t—”

  Wooden shrapnel raked Pru’s skin as the ash tree suddenly shattered in an explosion of dirt and wood and Gristling erupted from the tunnel below. A great bruise swelled one of the giant’s eyes shut and bloodstains marred his animal-­skin tunic.

  “You!” he growled. His voice was rock grinding against rock, like the sharpening of a primitive axe, or the placement of stones in a new wall. “You did this. You brought the serpent slayer and destroyed my clan.”

  Pru staggered back, shocked. Her messenger bag bounced against her, and Pru felt the weight of the fox-­head looking glass rebound against her thigh. Her hand dove into the bag, tightening on the wooden handle. If she could just show Gristling his reflection in it, he’d be banished back to Asgard. Pru tensed, waiting for her moment.

  “The things I will do to you will be remembered and retold to frighten generations of mortal children to come,” Gristling raved. “I will grind you to dust. You will beg for mercy with your last, gurgling breath. I will—”

  “Uh . . . sorry,” ABE said, politely interrupting the murderous frost giant’s rant as a shadow fell over them all. ABE pointed above them. “But is that a giant chicken foot in the sky?”

  It was perhaps the oddest thing Pru had ever heard a person say.

  The strangest part was, ABE was right.

  The unmistakable shape of the Henhouse descended from the skies above. Sticking out from beneath the house, just
as unmistakably, was an enormous chicken foot.

  Pru watched as it plummeted to Earth and landed—directly on Gristling’s head.

  “So,” Mister Fox said, after he emerged and examined the empty ground beneath the Henhouse. “For the record, it appears you can banish a Mythic back to where it belongs by using an enchanted looking glass or by dropping a house on its head and knocking it unconscious. Good to know,” he deadpanned, nodding to himself.

  “That was a chicken’s foot,” Pru pointed out, still stunned. “You have a giant chicken foot stuck to the bottom of your house.” It was the sort of thing she thought needed repeating.

  “Mind the toes,” ABE said, smacking his palm to his forehead.

  Pru stared at him, wondering if everyone had decided to go insane and not tell her. “What are you talking about?”

  “It’s what Mister Fox said when we went into the Henhouse. Remember? He wasn’t talking about our toes.”

  “No, I wasn’t. Baba Yaga had some truly strange ideas about home décor. So, yes, the Henhouse travels by chicken foot. It’s surprisingly fuel efficient,” Mister Fox said, looking from ABE to Pru, pride evident on his face. “It appears that you were successful, Pru, at bringing back our wayward friend.”

  “You don’t even know the half of it. Show him, ABE,” Pru said, too distracted by their recent triumph to dwell on the chicken foot.

  ABE held out his hand and Mister Fox reached out to accept the Eye of Odin, a look of wonder on his face.

  Mister Fox stared into the Eye of Odin, and it looked to Pru as though the Eye of Odin stared back at him.

  A long moment passed before Mister Fox gave his head a small shake. He slipped the Eye into one of his coat pockets as he turned his attention back to Pru and ABE. “I’ll have to give some thought as to what to do about that. Now, though, as for you two, I don’t say this often, but I might be just a little impressed.”

  “We three,” Pru corrected. “We couldn’t have done it without Ratatosk. He was amazing!”

  Ratatosk looked up at the praise, and for once was rendered speechless.

  It didn’t last.

  “Well, someone had to look after you two . . .” He paused, and Pru braced herself for the insults sure to follow. “Actually, I suppose you two didn’t perform so awfully after all. Quite satisfactory. Adequate even.”

  “High praise indeed,” Mister Fox said, one eyebrow raised. “Still, as touching as this is, Pru and ABE, you two need to get back to your families.”

  “What?” The sudden dismissal startled Pru. She wasn’t done basking in their victory. But then she remembered the circumstances around her leaving that morning. “My mom! Oh no. How long have I been gone? And ABE, he’s been gone since yesterday. Our parents must be freaking out!”

  “As a matter of fact, they haven’t missed you a bit,” Mister Fox said. He went on before Pru could object. “Remember, most people’s minds are closed to magic. So whenever someone from this world travels to a World of Myth, that person slips from the minds of people who know him or her. Your families missed you while you were gone, yes, but they didn’t know what they were missing. Now that you’re back, they’ll be anxious for you. You need to go to them and reassure them. They’ll be a little confused, but all they’ll really care about is that you’re home. So go. But come back tomorrow to tell me about what happened. I have a thing or two to take care of.”

  “You’ll still be here tomorrow?” Pru asked.

  “I’ll be here.”

  “You promise?”

  “Would I lie?”

  Pru found her house empty when she arrived. After quickly putting on dry clothes, she made her way to the Explorers’ Fair. Despite what Mister Fox had said, Pru expected a scolding for sneaking out that morning. Instead, her mother just seemed very happy to see Pru as she ran up.

  Pru was a little surprised at just how happy she felt seeing her mother, too. It felt like they’d been apart a very long time. They embraced with equal enthusiasm. When their hug ended, and it did not end soon, Pru’s mother cupped her daughter’s chin in her hand.

  “Listen, sweetie . . . I’ve been thinking about what you said last night.”

  “I know, Mom. I’m sorry. I was just really upset about something and—”

  “No, listen.” Pru’s mother took a deep breath and looked Pru in the eye. “You’re right. I haven’t been able to make this world as safe a place for you as I’d like it to be. And I’m sorry for that, honey. I’m so sorry. But you have to understand something. I’m your mother, Pru. That means one thing. I’m always going to try. Whether you like it or not, I’m always going to try.”

  It was the first honest moment Pru felt like she’d had with her mother in a long, long time. She wanted it to go on forever.

  So, naturally, that’s when Mrs. Edleman appeared.

  “Mrs. Potts. Prudence. How nice to see you,” Mrs. Edleman said with about as much enthusiasm as Pru felt at seeing her teacher on a Saturday. “I hope you’re enjoying your day.”

  “We’re certainly glad for the change in the weather. Isn’t that right, Pru?”

  “I suppose.” Only then did Pru realize that the clouds had vanished completely from the skies above.

  “Yes, well, that’s something we can all agree on,” Mrs. Edleman said. “Though I’m surprised, Mrs. Potts, that you allowed Prudence the opportunity to come out today. I know you were quite worried when you called the school yesterday after Prudence didn’t go straight home.”

  Pru’s mother frowned at the reminder. “Yes, I was upset. And there will be consequences. But the Explorers’ Fair is once a year. I’m sure you understand.”

  “Of course,” Mrs. Edleman said, sounding not at all like she meant it. “Well, I expect you’ll be glad to hear that I had a word or two with Prudence about how important it is for her to stop these ridiculous investigations of hers. I’m certain that if we both remind her that she is an eleven-­year-­old child and not, in fact, a detective, then these worrisome incidents will come to an end.”

  “Excuse me?” Pru’s mother said in a tone that startled Pru. “Mrs. Edleman, you have no idea how grateful I am to you for the . . . patience you’ve shown with Pru this year. Her behavior over the whole ‘Schoolyard Sasquatch’ incident was inexcusable, and I promise you she is still facing consequences at home from that little stunt.” Pru cringed at the look she got from her mother.

  “But,” Pru’s mother continued, “with all due respect, Mrs. Edleman, if my daughter chooses to think of herself as a detective, then I’m proud of that choice. Everett would be, too. Though she may still have to learn that detectives use their talents to stop trouble, not start it, I happen to think Pru has the makings of a fine detective.

  “And if you think that an eleven-­year-­old can’t be a detective, then you either don’t quite understand what it is that detectives do, or you don’t remember being eleven years old yourself. I do hope you enjoy the rest of this beautiful day, Mrs. Edleman.”

  Pru followed in her mother’s wake as she walked away, gazing up at her in awe. “Mom, you just totally told Mrs. Edleman off !”

  “Don’t be silly, Pru. I did nothing of the sort. I had an adult discussion with your teacher, that’s all. And she is your teacher, Pru. She sets the rules while you’re at school. Luckily for you,” Pru’s mother added with a wink, “you’re not at school today.”

  It had been a long time since Pru had held her mother’s hand, and it felt strange somehow as they set off to enjoy the fair together. Pru wasn’t sure if her mother’s hand felt smaller or if it was her own hand that felt bigger, not quite as small for her age.

  CHAPTER

  25

  PRU ARRIVED IN THE CEMETERY WITH ABE ON SUNDAY morning to find Mister Fox and Ratatosk sitting on the porch of the Henhouse. They were talking in low voices but stopped when Pru and ABE approached.

  “All hail the conquering heroes,” Mister Fox said with a tip of his hat. “You’re just in time to hea
r the news.”

  “What news?” Pru asked.

  “Yesterday, after you left, our furry friend here filled me in on some of the details of your adventure. After hearing some of what you all went through, I asked Ratatosk to return to Asgard and do a little scouting. He was just giving me a report.”

  “And?” ABE asked.

  “Thor was resplendently victorious against the giants, yes, yes. But . . . that heath-­fire idiot Loki escaped in the confusion,” Ratatosk said.

  Pru and ABE exchanged nervous glances.

  “I can’t say I’m surprised,” Mister Fox commented. “Loki has a talent for getting himself out of trouble. In fact, he escapes trouble with nearly as much ease as he enters into it.”

  “But won’t he come back?” ABE asked. “To get revenge, or to get the Eye of Odin?”

  “I don’t think so,” Mister Fox said. “I think you two are safe from him and Gristling for the time being. Thor caused some serious damage, and Loki’s scheming created some friction between him and the giants. He’ll smooth things over. That’s what he does. It will take time, though. And we’re spreading the word that the Eye of Odin is gone, so they won’t come looking for that.”

  “Gone?” Pru and ABE said at the same time.

  “Hidden.”

  “Where?” Pru pressed. “Why?”

  “Because a little knowledge of the future might be helpful on the rare occasion, but you can have too much of a good thing. Odin learned that the hard way. I don’t want anyone else to suffer the same fate.” Mister Fox looked at Pru as he spoke.

  “But it saved our lives! I wanted a chance to look in it again.”

  “Why? To see all the secrets of the future laid bare? To always know what will happen, and when? To feel safe and certain?” Mister Fox peered at Pru. “Is that really what you want?”

  Pru sighed. “No. I guess not. Not completely, anyway. But it would be nice to know when Mrs. Edleman planned to spring a pop quiz on us.”