Oh, fuck. I sprang up to a sitting position and rubbed my eyes.
“Sorry.” I swallowed. “I’m still half asleep.” Then I glanced up at her. “What are you doing on the bus?”
“I brought her here.” Well, that was Mack and I should’ve known he was the reason she was here. But why in the hell was she waking me up? “For you,” he added.
I lifted an eyebrow at my brother. “I don’t accept gifts of that nature.”
Van snorted and that was when I realized that my entire family, minus our parents, was sitting around the main area of the bus. Van and Bonham were on one side of the table. Mack and Daisy on the other.
“Why’s Daisy here?”
“Because I’m part of this family,” she responded.
“Yeah, no shit. But you ride on Lawson’s bus.” I glanced around again. “And where are Lexi and Jurnie?”
“They’re on Lawson’s bus.”
I dropped my elbows to my knees, as this uneasy feeling filled my gut. “Why do I think I’m not going to like what happens next?”
Mack looked me dead-ass in the eye. “Because you’re not going to like what happens next.”
“Then save it.”
Mack jumped up from his seat, startling Daisy in the process. All the while, Ella was just standing there across from me, her hands folded in front of her, gripping so hard, the knuckles were turning white.
This was fucking confusing and I hadn’t had any coffee yet.
After scrubbing my hands through my hair, I sighed. “Then get it over with. I’d like to get a coffee.”
“Lawson ran out and got us all coffee this morning.” Daisy slid out of her seat before I had a chance to tell her not to bother then walked over to me and handed me a cup. I took a drink then sighed and settled back into the couch.
I couldn’t be mad at Daisy. Not really. She was as sweet as they came and as my little sister, it was my job to protect her, not get mad at her. Sure. We’d had out disagreements over the years yet nobody could stay mad at Daisy.
“So, out with it.” I swung my finger in the air.
“We’re worried about you,” Daisy said quietly, which made me pause the cup halfway to my mouth for a split second before I took a drink. There was no chance I was going to let them know that this conversation had me anxious. What were they going to do? Kick me out of the band? I didn’t think so.
“Worried about what? That I haven’t harnessed myself to someone when we’re supposed to be having the times of our lives?”
“Worried that you’re going to drink yourself into a coma,” Van said and by the sound of it, he meant it with humor, but fuck, did it hit me the wrong way.
“You know until recently you were there with me, buddy. Until you let some pussy get in the way.”
He raised a middle finger at me but didn’t show that my words bothered him at all. It was a shitty thing to say. I liked Lexi. She was good for Van and honestly his first relationship, so I shouldn’t have begrudged him that. Really, I didn’t, but if they were coming for me, then I was going after them.
“That doesn’t explain what she’s doing here.” I pointed at Ella as her chest rose and fell rapidly. She clearly wasn’t as comfortable with this conversation as the rest of them. Why would she have been? She didn’t know me from anyone else.
Mack cleared his throat. “I’ll get to that, but Daltrey, you’re drinking way too much. It’s affecting your performance. It’s affecting your playing.”
My stomach turned over. I was sure that my playing was just fine, but Mack saying that hit one of the things that I’d vowed to never let happen. “Fuck off it is.”
“It is,” Daisy countered. “You don’t participate in the extra stuff anymore, either. Talking to the crowd and all of that. Except for two nights ago. Then you were like your normal self.”
“Oh, sweet Daisy,” I said, mocking her. “They can’t all be five stars now, can they? It’s OK if, for once in your life, someone didn’t think you were the best.”
Her cheeks heated and I knew I was incredibly lucky that Lawson wasn’t here to hear any of this. If he had, I was pretty sure I’d have a fist in my face already. “It’s not about me being the best,” she snapped, which meant I’d gotten to her. “It’s about this being our big break. The thing we’ve worked for years to achieve and you’re ruining it for all of us.”
Now the nausea set in. Ruining things for them was the last thing I wanted to do and the idea gave me the most anxiety of anything. I wasn’t a natural at this shit like they were. I had to work harder. I mean, my guitar skills were top notch and I enjoyed that part. It was the rest of it that I thought I’d love when in reality, I didn’t.
At all.
“Sorry for fucking everything up.” My eyes focused on one of Ella’s shoes. She was wearing a dark blue Converse sneaker and she kept pushing her big toes together. Made me wonder if that was something she did when she was nervous or uncomfortable. I didn’t even let my eyes scan up her bare legs, even though I really wanted to.
“Nobody said that,” Bonham countered. “We’re saying that there’s something going on with you and you need to get your head on right.”
He didn’t know the half of it.
“I asked Ella to come work for us.” Mack finally explained the one thing I wanted to know.
“Work for us?” I asked.
He nodded. “I think she can help you.”
I narrowed my eyes on him. “I think there are several ways she can help me, but I’m guessing that’s not what you’re talking about.”
Mack’s jaw tightened and Ella bit her lips together like it was incredibly hard for her not to say anything. “Don’t be a dick to her,” he countered.
I cocked my head, unable to stop the words about to come out of my mouth. “Is this a convenient way for you to have your latest lay on the road?”
Mack popped to his feet, but I stayed right where I was. He wasn’t going to hit me. None of us boys had hit each other in quite a while. And if he did now, I didn’t care. I wouldn’t fight back.
“Shit like that,” he began, his nostrils flaring, “is what you’re not going to say. Think of Ella as a friend, but get fucking used to her because if you’re not with one of us, then she’s with you. If you chase her away, I’ll bring Dad in. He straightened your ass out once, so I bet he can do it again.”
“We don’t want to call him,” Daisy told me. “Mom would be so disappointed in the things you’ve said today that we’d rather not have to tell them.”
She could’ve reached into my chest and squeezed my heart until it stopped and that would’ve been better than what she’d just said.
My mom would be disappointed in me. Fuck. She was the one person none of us ever wanted to disappoint and to be honest, given the size and makeup of our family, it was a really hard thing to do. Mom loved us. She’d stand by for us and up for us no matter what. But you always knew what she was feeling in her eyes and that sadness… no, thank you.
“You’re going to pull the Mom card because I don’t want a fucking babysitter? I haven’t needed one in a long time.”
“Yeah?” Mack asked. “You needed one a couple of nights ago when Ella got you out of that bar and safely back to the hotel before you got the shit beat out of you.”
Fuck. He was right. I had needed a babysitter that night and I’d paid for what I’d done the next day. That hangover had been one of my worst.
“I have an idea.” Ella finally spoke up. She’d also let go of her hands. “Why don’t you go get ready for the day, then you and I go get some breakfast? We can talk about this.”
“I don’t need to talk.”
“I think you do.” Her eyes were so fucking kind that it made me like her a little less. I didn’t want her to be kind to me. I’d lashed out at almost all of them. I wanted the fight, but it seemed this angel of a woman wasn’t going to fight.
“She’s with you until we don’t think you need her anymore,” Mack sai
d like it was already a done deal.
I shook my head, knowing that there was no talking them out of this. All I could do was prove that I didn’t need a fucking babysitter.
“I’m going to get dressed,” I told Ella then pushed off the couch. I set my coffee on the counter, even though it was only half-empty. One of them could pour the rest down the drain and toss the cup. Because of them, I was on my way to breakfast.
I climbed into my storage bunk and pulled out some clothes then headed to the bathroom.
The group of them were chatting out there like they hadn’t just turned my entire life on its head.
Fuck them.
But I also knew they were right. I didn’t need a babysitter because I was a grown-ass man, but even I had to admit that I’d gotten a little out of control.
It couldn’t be helped and I didn’t think Ella being around was going to change that. Having a few drinks was the only way I’d found to deal with the crush of expectation and the fear of fucking up and the fact that I didn’t love being on stage with them the way I used to.
Maybe the problem was just me and they should replace me. I didn’t know. Going home wasn’t what I wanted, either. I wanted to be here with them, but I wanted it to be fun and easy like it was for the rest of my brothers and Daisy.
I splashed some cool water on my face to shake off some of the headache I had. Yes. I had a few drinks last night but not a lot. I couldn’t help it. My ass was still chapped, as my dad would say, overseeing Ella and Mack talking after that last show in Chicago two nights ago. Their conversation had seemed so light and easy and it wasn’t fucking fair.
I’d never step in on a woman my brother was interested in, but fuck, did she have to be so damn beautiful? Did her smile have to be so radiant?
Now I was going to be spending my time with my brother’s girl? That was fucked up because I’d wanted her the moment we bumped into each other backstage before Mack had gotten his hands on her. If he’d gotten his hands on her.
If she and I were going to be spending time together while she kept me from drinking, I’d have to ask her. It was the only thing to do.
I was assuming that was her purpose. Keep me from drinking because Mack had made a reference to when I’d had a problem before.
Little did he know that having a few drinks was the only reason I was still able to do what I was doing for the band.
After brushing my teeth and getting dressed, I took the clothes I’d been wearing to my junk bunk and tossed them inside. They weren’t really dirty because I’d barely worn them after my post-show shower, but I definitely wanted fresh clothing. Just to start the day anew.
When I came back out, Ella was smiling as she talked to Mack and my stomach clenched. This was ridiculous. She was wearing jean shorts that had a few dangly strings hanging off them as if she’d cut them herself, though she probably hadn’t. People paid a bunch of money for that look. She also had on those Converses and a white tank top. Her hair was down and wavy and she had a small purse crossing between her breasts with sunglasses on top of her head.
She was ready to go. Not sure I was, but getting off this bus sounded like the best for now.
“Ready?” she asked with a smile.
Her red hair complemented her pale complexion and that was one way that I knew her color was natural. Daisy was like that. Her red was a completely different red than Ella’s, but their skin tones were so peaches and cream that neither would look better with another hair color.
“Sure,” I told her then headed out the door and waited for her to follow.
9
Ella
Once Daltrey left to get himself ready, I released my breath in one hard puff. I hadn’t been holding it in exactly, but I’d been taking in more air than I was letting out.
“That went better than I thought it would.” Daisy gave me a little smile that said she knew that wasn’t true.
“Why is he lashing out?” Van asked. “Is he mad that I got a girlfriend?”
“People who have drinking problems lash out,” I told him. “It’s what they do when you call them on it. Or at least in my experience. You wouldn’t believe some of the things my mom said to me over the years.”
“Yeah, but does he really have a drinking problem?”
Mack dropped into the seat he’d vacated at the beginning of our mini intervention. “I think he did before, so I assume that’s what this is. We’ve lived together a long time and I never really saw him drink.”
I wet my lips as I contemplated how much I wanted to put into this conversation. This wasn’t my family and obviously, Daltrey wasn’t all that happy about my being here. Then again, who would be? If he was anything like my mother, he wouldn’t want attention drawn to the things he was doing wrong.
But I was going to win him over, I swore to myself. I was willing to put myself in those vulnerable positions, opening myself up to his attacks to help him.
I’d just uprooted my entire life to do it and I still didn’t know why, other than this being a really well-paying job. But there was something about Daltrey that made me feel for him in a way that I never had for my mother. Maybe it was because my mom was supposed to be taking care of me, not the other way around, and Daltrey didn’t owe me anything. I didn’t know, but I wanted him to trust me enough to talk to me and while that would take some time, I’d wait patiently.
“Wait,” Daisy said suddenly. “He had a problem before? Why did I not know this?”
“We didn’t know about it, either,” Van told her.
“Mom and Dad wanted to keep whatever happened quiet,” Mack explained. “For him. It was his business they’d said when I asked. Like I said, I’m assuming it was alcohol. I always thought it was. He went from drinking a lot to not a single drop. Now he’s drinking a lot again. Sounds like a problem to me.”
“Why were you letting him drink if you thought he had a problem?” Daisy asked.
“Because I didn’t know exactly what happened,” Mack reconfirmed. I’d say that was guilt on his face. “I just knew that Dad took care of it and since this is the first time it’s come up since I have to assume this has something to do with being on the road.”
“You know the rest of you are going to have to stop drinking around him. At least for a while,” I told them.
“How do you know so much?” Van asked and I’d known the question had been coming. It didn’t make sense for it to not be asked.
I took a deep breath. There was only so much I was going to tell them. “My mom is an alcoholic. This is all I’ve known.”
“You don’t need her story.” Mack physically put himself between me and his siblings. Well, his shoulder anyway. “I hired her and that’s good enough.” Then he turned to me. “You two are going out and that’s fine. But he needs to be back by one for soundcheck. And if he gives you more trouble than you’re willing to stand—because let’s be real, he’s going to give you some trouble about this—let me know. I’ll take care of it.”
I really didn’t like the way Van raised his eyebrow. “Was Daltrey right? Are you two…” He let that trail off.
“Jesus.” Mack scrubbed a hand down his face. “No. Don’t ask again or make comments like that.”
“Got it.”
“I’m just happy to have another woman on the road.” Daisy smiled over at me until Bonham flicked her ear. “That hurts, asshole.”
“Please.” Van scoffed. “Pretty soon, there’s going to be more women than men on the road.”
“Quit fucking adding them then,” Mack countered.
“Dude.” Van pointed at me. “You added the newest one.”
We all quieted down when we heard Daltrey come out of the bathroom and go to the bunk Mack had told me was his storage, then he came out here with us. I turned to him and smiled.
“Ready?” I asked.
“Sure.” He looked anything but. The prospect of breakfast with me shouldn’t have been all that bad. We got out of the bus and I swore I he
ard him breathe a sigh of relief. “Where are we going?”
“I looked on my phone to find someplace within walking distance and there’s an IHOP just up the road. If that works for you.”
“Sure.” One-word answers weren’t exactly what I was hoping for. Still, we walked side by side down the street as he let me lead him.
But he didn’t talk and I didn’t, either. It was awkward and uncomfortable, with the only sound around us the city and the pat of our shoes against the pavement.
Daltrey was going to be a hard nut to crack. I could already tell. He probably didn’t even think he had a problem.
The hostess, a teenager with blonde hair and a bubbly personality, welcomed us to the store. “Wait,” she said before I could tell her we needed a table for two. “You’re Daltrey Thompson, right?”
His body tightened beside me. I could feel it, even though we weren’t touching in any way.
“I’m going to the show tonight. Ohmygod. This is amazing. Can I get a picture with you?” She was already sliding in beside him before he could answer.
Daltrey slid his arm around her but kept his hand from making any contact. He was close to her hip but not actually touching it. No one else would’ve noticed, I didn’t think. Then she showed us to the table, but there was a lot of squealing until the waitress chastised her. I was grateful that our waitress was a little older and seemed to be able to control herself a little more too.
“Sorry about that,” she said with a big smile. “What can I get y’all to drink?” She had a Southern accent, but not so thick that I couldn’t understand her. We were in Louisville so the accent made sense.
“I’ll take a water,” Daltrey said and this was the first time I’d heard his voice since we’d left the parking lot of the venue. It was a good voice. Deep. Dreamy. But I wasn’t going to let my thoughts go there.
“Diet pop.”
The waitress snorted. Right. Michigan said pop and a lot of the rest of the country said soda or Coke. While she went to get us drinks, we each looked at our menus.
Daltrey (Pushing Daisies Book 4) Page 7
