The Vanishing of Billy Buckle

by Sally Gardner

  “They saw me.”

  “Who saw you?”

  “The couple who smashed Edie’s crystal ball. The woman wearing a Day-Glo tank top and her sidekick, a little fellow with red flashing lights on his sneakers.”

  “Jelly my eels,” said Fidget. “I saw him yesterday in the ghost train. I bet they both work for Blinky Belvale.” Fidget scanned the crowd. “Nope. Can’t see them.”

  “Whether you can see them or not, they were after me, and I had to hide somewhere. So I hid in the crowd.”

  “It’s called hiding in plain sight,” said Emily. “You read about it in one of my detective books. Still, I see you had time to win a doll at the coconut game.”

  “This isn’t a doll,” said Buster. “This is Billy Buckle. I think he’s been hypnotized.”

  “Are you sure?” said Emily.

  “Yes. Look,” said Buster, prodding Billy. “You can do anything and he won’t wake up.”

  “And he is shrunk. That’s how I freed him,” added the lamp. “I did that all by myself.”

  It was then that Fidget caught sight of the woman in the Day-Glo tank top with her sidekick.

  “Time to leave,” he said.

  He picked up the lamp, and they quickly made their way to the exit. Outside on the street there wasn’t a tram or a taxi to be seen, but just then one of the horse-drawn carriages drew up, and they all piled in.

  “Take us to the end of the promenade, please, to the shop called Wings & Co.,” said Fidget.

  The horse clip-clopped smartly along the seafront. Buster kept his head down, but Emily could see the two villains on the pavement outside the Starburst Amusement Park, looking up and down the promenade.

  Buster sank back into the leather seat, with Billy Buckle propped up next to him.

  “We did it,” he said.

  “If those two work for Blinky Belvale, the Bog-Eyed-Shape-Shifting-Loader-Slash-Ogre, do you think he was the one who helped Johnny Carmichael steal the diamond?” said Emily. “And then murdered him?”

  “No,” said Fidget. “No, he’s not interested in diamonds, and murdering humans is not the Bog-Eyed Loader’s style. Only kidnapping giants and bullying fairies.”

  They all fell silent with the rhythm of the horse, lost in their own thoughts, until Emily said, “There are no waves today. The sea is very flat.”

  Buster suddenly sat up. “Oh, wonderment of Wednesdays! It’s come to me. I know where that diamond is.”

  “Where?” said Fidget and Emily together.

  “Hidden in the Wurlitzer. Remember, both Edie and Morris noticed that the C was flat.”

  “That’s brilliant!” said Emily.

  “We need to drop off Billy Buckle and go to the ballroom—pronto,” said Fidget.

  “The only picture in Edie’s crystal ball that I haven’t worked out,” said Buster, “is the seagull.”

  Emily was watching a particularly big seagull flying overhead. It looked to her as if the bird was following them.

  “The Bog-Eyed Loader can shape-shift, can’t he?” she said, pointing upward.

  “Buddleia! I should have thought of that,” said Buster. “I’ve seen that seagull hanging around outside Wings & Co. Do you think it’s the Bog-Eyed Loader?”

  “Spot on the fishcake,” said Fidget. “I think that Blinky Belvale has been keeping a bog eye on us since the moment we arrived here.”

  “It explains why the keys went wild,” said Emily.

  “Got it in one,” said Buster. “That bog-eyed seagull foggled their metal mentality. And it was because he was in the neighborhood that Edie’s crystal ball went on the blink.”

  At Wings & Co., Edie was at the door to meet them.

  “I had a feeling you were on your way back,” she said.

  “This,” said Fidget, showing her the lifelike doll, “is Billy Buckle, Primrose’s dad.”

  “Shrunk,” said Edie.

  “Yep,” said Fidget.

  “A spell,” said Edie.

  “Turned into a donkey, hypnotized, and turned back into a giant. Then shrunk,” said Buster.

  “I shrank him. I did that bit,” said the lamp as it toddled off to check on the keys and tell them about its triumph.

  “Wait a mo,” said Fidget. “Where are you going? There’s work to be done, crimes still to be solved.”

  “Me?” said the lamp, turning around. “You want me?”

  “Yes, you, my lamp in shining armor. You are coming with us to the Starburst Ballroom.”

  “Oh,” said the magic lamp with a hop and a skip. “I do-ooo so-ooo love being needed.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The horse-drawn carriage carrying Fidget, Emily, Buster, and the lamp arrived at the Starburst Ballroom just before half past three. Soon the doors would open and the line of people outside the ballroom would be let into the rehearsals for The Me Moment. Posters of Theo Callous’s orange face were plastered everywhere.

  “Isn’t he lovely?” said the magic lamp. “Nearly as golden as me. But not quite.”

  Fidget marched to the front of the line, where a doorman stood handing out numbers.

  “Back of the line, you lot,” he said. “Some of these folks have been waiting since goodness knows when.”

  Fidget straightened his hat, adjusted his knitted, fish-shaped bow tie, and said, “I am here on behalf of Miss Primrose Buckle.”

  “Primrose?” said the doorman. “Where is she? Mr. Callous has been asking for her all day.”

  “We had a little hiccup,” said Fidget. “Fishing lines got tangled, if you get my driftnet.”

  “No, I don’t,” said the doorman. He pointed at Emily. “Is that her?”

  “Yes,” said Fidget quickly, hoping that the doorman hadn’t a clue that Primrose was a giantess.

  “I’ll get someone to take you through, then,” said the doorman.

  The second they entered the foyer, the magic lamp went faint with joy.

  “Ooh, I’m home,” it said. “Home.”

  “Not now,” whispered Emily, firmly taking its hand. “Remember why we’re here.”

  “Yes, yes,” said the magic lamp, pulling itself together. But once inside the ballroom, it positively glowed with happiness and almost rose off the floor.

  “Look at that ceiling! And all the gold! Everything so shiny. I am home—home, I tell you.” The lamp’s voice echoed cheerfully around the ballroom.

  The young man who had brought them in approached Theo Callous.

  “Excuse me, Mr. Callous, we have Primrose.”

  The eyes of the orange-faced presenter swept the room.

  “Where, where?” he said. “Where? Show me—” Then he spotted Emily. He was about to have her thrown out when he saw the magic lamp. It had started to tap-dance on the floor of the ballroom while singing at the top of its voice.

  “Is that for real?” Theo Callous asked Fidget.

  “Yes,” said Fidget.

  The magic lamp jumped in the air, clicked its heels together, and gave a deep bow.

  “I am the magic lamp,” it said.

  “I LOVE it,” said Theo Callous. “This is exactly what The Me Moment is all about.”

  “And I LOVE YOU!” said the lamp, running up to Theo and throwing its little arms around one of the presenter’s well-pressed trouser legs.

  “Wowser,” said Buster.

  “A match made in fairyland, I would say,” said Fidget.

  It was then that the ballroom doors flew open. The Toad rushed in, followed by Cheryl Spike and Blinky Belvale.

  “There, Mr. B.—that’s the cat I saw down in the ghost train. And that lamp I told you about.”

  Buster, who was now on the stage examining the Wurlitzer, quickly hid behind the curtains.

  “Excuse me, ducky,” said Theo Callous, walking up to Blinky Belvale. “You can’t come barging in here. This is The Me Moment, and we are about to start rehearsals.”

  “Out of my way, you orange slug,” said Cheryl, pushing him as
ide and striding up to Fidget.

  “All right—what’ve you done with him?” said Blinky Belvale.

  “Done with who?” asked Fidget.

  Blinky Belvale stood in the middle of the dance floor.

  “My GIANT,” he bellowed. “I WANT MY GIANT BACK.”

  He gave the magic lamp a mighty kick. The lamp sailed through the air and landed with a terrible crash on the stage near the Wurlitzer.

  “You bully—you horrid bully!” said Emily, about to launch herself at Blinky Belvale.

  “Hold that harpoon,” said Fidget, grabbing her arm. “Remember, he’s the Bog-Eyed Loader.”

  “I don’t care … I’ll—”

  “Stay where you are,” shouted Blinky. “Just tell me—WHERE IS MY GIANT?”

  Emily thought she had never seen anyone look as terrifyingly angry as Blinky Belvale.

  Buster came out from his hiding place to help the magic lamp to its feet.

  “Bring me that flying boy!” yelled Blinky Belvale.

  Theo Callous stood in front of Blinky with his arms folded.

  “No, no, NO,” he said. “Now, go away and take your … your creatures with you, or I will call the police.”

  Emily had a feeling this wasn’t the wisest thing to say. But Theo Callous didn’t seem to notice that Blinky Belvale’s eyes were ready to pop with rage.

  “I don’t know who you are,” continued Theo Callous, “apart, that is, from someone extraordinarily ugly, but this is The Me Moment and—”

  “Cheryl,” shouted Blinky Belvale. “What was it you called this man?”

  “An orange slug, Mr. B.”

  Wham-bang! There was a flash of light, a few sparkles, and Theo Callous became an enormous orange slug.

  “Shish-kebab a shark,” said Fidget. “This is new. He must have learned that trick in return for the wizard’s wife.”

  Even Cheryl gasped at the sight of a slug the size of a man sliding across the dance floor.

  “Mr. B.,” she said, “did you do that?”

  “YES,” roared Blinky Belvale. “And I will do worse IF I DON’T GET MY GIANT BACK!”

  It is always a mistake to underestimate a magic lamp. The word magic should give one a clue. A magic lamp that has just been kicked in the air is not a lamp to be trifled with. It stood on the stage and stamped its Moroccan-slippered foot, let out a puff of purple smoke, and wham-bang! Blinky Belvale, to everyone’s amazement, turned into a bog-eyed sardine.

  “Yum,” said Fidget, licking his lips. “I am in need of a snack.”

  But before he could reach the sardine, the magic lamp had jumped off the stage and sucked it up through its spout.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  James Cardwell went straight to the Starburst Ballroom the minute he heard about the emergency call to Puddliepool police. By the time he arrived, he found that the building had been cleared and onlookers moved to a safe distance. He was somewhat surprised to find that not only had the police, fire department, and ambulance service been called, but so had Animal Rescue.

  “What are they doing here?” he asked Sergeant Binns.

  “We had a report that there is a big cat in there, as well as two minors and approximately four adults. Theo Callous’s assistant thinks Mr. Callous is being held hostage.”

  “What makes him think that?” asked Detective Cardwell.

  “The ballroom doors are locked from the inside,” said Sergeant Binns. “Screams and, er, slurping noises have been heard.”

  Mr. Trickett rushed up to them.

  “What do we do?” he asked.

  “Who are you?” asked James Cardwell.

  “Albert Trickett, owner and manager of the ballroom. This is a disaster for my business. The TV presenter, Theo Callous, is in there.”

  James walked into the foyer and up to the doors to the ballroom. He put out his hands to give the doors a good push, and when they flew open by themselves, he nearly tripped over the magic lamp. It was standing just inside, its arms raised in triumph.

  In the middle of the dance floor, a dazed Theo Callous lay covered in slime in a pool of gunk. The woman whom Sergeant Binns identified from the security footage as Cheryl Spike appeared frozen with fright. A skinny young man was clinging tightly to one of the pillars, gibbering something about a sardine. He must be the kid brother, thought Detective Cardwell, known as the Toad. Buster, he noticed, was examining the Wurlitzer.

  “Good timing, James,” said Emily.

  “What’s happened to Mr. Callous?” said Mr. Trickett, who had followed James into the ballroom. “He’s not … ah … himself. Shall I ask the paramedics to come in?”

  “Yes. I think he might need medical attention,” said James.

  “And what about Animal Rescue?” asked Mr. Trickett, looking nervously at Fidget.

  “I’m perfectly well, thank you,” said Fidget. “It’s just a medical condition. Send them away.”

  “Me, me, what about me?” whimpered Theo Callous. “I want a lettuce leaf, and I want it now.”

  The paramedics gently laid the presenter on a stretcher. The magic lamp ran alongside as they carried him out to the ambulance.

  “All will be well, Mr. Callous. I promise,” it said. “All will be well.”

  “Pansies are very tasty too,” mumbled Theo Callous. “Bring me pansies…”

  James caught hold of the lamp and pulled it back.

  “Is that clockwork?” asked Mr. Trickett. “Or does it run on batteries?”

  It took a while to move Cheryl to a chair and to untangle the Toad from the pillar. They seemed to be in a trance until the magic lamp clicked its fingers.

  “Are you going to tell me which one of you murdered Johnny Carmichael?” James Cardwell asked them.

  “Say nothing,” said Cheryl to the Toad.

  “But, sis, do you think that sardine was Mr. B.?” said the Toad.

  “Shut it,” said Cheryl.

  “Sorry, Cheryl.”

  “What other name was Johnny Carmichael known by?” said Detective Cardwell to the Toad.

  “The Maestro,” said the Toad. “Whoops! Sorry, Cheryl. But I like quizzes.”

  Cheryl looked furious. “Put a piece of bubble gum in that gob of yours before I put my fist in it!”

  Detective Cardwell took a piece of paper from his pocket. “Do you know what this says?” he asked Cheryl.

  “No. Why?”

  “It says that you were married to Johnny Carmichael.”

  “So what?”

  “You never told me,” said the Toad. “That’s not nice, not telling your little brother a thing like that. Getting married is important.”

  “No big deal,” said Cheryl.

  “Maybe the reason Johnny Carmichael didn’t want anyone to know you were married,” said the detective, “was because he was already married to someone else.”

  A tear glistened in Cheryl’s eye.

  “You discovered that not only was he married to someone else,” continued James Cardwell, “but after all you had done to help him steal it, he had hidden the Galaxy Diamond with the intention of disappearing with it and keeping the profits for himself.”

  Cheryl stood up.

  “I did everything for that man. I hired the mobility scooters and found a man to bling them out. It was me who broke the window on Bond Street. Johnny told me he needed a bit of muscle, so I gave him a bit of muscle. I gave him a lot of muscle when I stuck that knife into the back of his dinner jacket.”

  Cheryl Spike was arrested for robbery and murder, the Toad for helping his sister, and both were accused of smashing up Edie Girdle’s booth and destroying her crystal ball. They looked a sorry sight as Sergeant Binns took them away.

  Once they had gone, Buster said, “There’s a reward for finding that diamond, isn’t there? If I remember rightly, a very large reward.”

  “Indubitably,” said James.

  “Mr. Trickett,” said Buster. “It may be to your advantage if you have a look inside your Wurlitz
er. The C is flat.”

  Mr. Trickett climbed up on the stage and fiddled about inside the Wurlitzer before finding the reason that the C was flat. Hidden there was the Galaxy Diamond. Mr. Trickett’s face lit up.

  * * *

  That summer evening found Fidget, Buster, and Emily walking with the magic lamp toward Wings & Co., taking in the sea air and thinking, as one does, about supper. But that was when the magic lamp complained of having a wobbly tummy. In fact, its shine was noticeably dull. Its spout began to droop.

  “Oh no,” said Emily. “What’s wrong?”

  “Far be it from me to be dramatic,” it said, holding its round belly, “but, sweet mistress, I fear this might be the end of the show for the magic lamp.”

  “Lean on a limpet,” said Fidget. “This looks bad.”

  “Gosh,” said Buster. “It’s gone all green.”

  At that moment the lamp let out the loudest burp Emily had ever heard, and the bog-eyed sardine flew out of its spout and landed on the promenade in front of them.

  “Buddleia and bindweed!” shouted Buster.

  The fish flapped about on the pavement.

  “What shall we do? It will shape-shift itself and get away,” said Emily.

  Suddenly, out of nowhere, a big black bird swooped down. “A cormorant!” said Emily.

  In one gulp, the cormorant swallowed the sardine whole. Then, with a squawk, it flew off over the shining sea.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “When is a giant not a giant?” asked Morris Flipwinkle.

  “When he’s been shrunk,” replied Edie, putting on the kettle. They were in the kitchen of Wings & Co., making tea for everyone.

  “Do you remember those guests I had staying last year?” said Betty, wrapping mackerel in foil. “Lanky and Titch? They had an act on the South Pier. One was a giant; the other was tiny.”

  She put the mackerel in the oven.

  “This is different,” said Edie. “I mean, Billy Buckle and his daughter are stuck if the spell can’t be undone.”

  Upstairs, the smell of fish was distracting Fidget, and he was having difficulty thinking about the problem before him.