At Your Most Beautiful

by Harper Bliss

  “Four absolutely grueling months.”

  “What do you think they’ve been like for me? A walk in the park?” Quinn looked up and found Morgan’s eyes. “It would be different if you’d already left him.”

  “Come on, Quinn. You know I’m not one for big dramatic statements like that.” Morgan said it so matter-of-factly, but it was so far from the truth Quinn could see through it so easily now. “Don’t act as if this was all on me. No one ever forced you to give me four years of your life, to give them to a woman already married to someone else. Maybe that small detail was a little bit more convenient for you than you care to admit.”

  “Don’t start with that bullshit now. You lied to me when you promised me you would leave Steve. That’s the crux of the matter. Now you come here and tell me, again, that you want to leave him for me, well, you know what? Don’t bother. Just stay with him. I’m not doing this with you anymore. I’m done.”

  “Don’t say that.” Morgan tried to reach for Quinn’s hand, but Quinn pulled away again. “Take some time to think about it.”

  “Can’t you see this is how it’s always been between us? You with your promises and your sweet words and—” Your sweet, sweet kisses. Looking at Morgan’s lips without kissing them profusely had always been a challenge, but not today, when they were the conduit for more of her meaningless promises. “I’m not giving you my hope anymore. I can’t spend any more of my energy on wishing for a life with you.”

  “I know I sprung this on you, but—”

  “No.” Quinn shook her head vigorously. “You don’t get to come here and tell me you still love me while you’re still with Steve. You simply don’t get to do that anymore. If you really still loved me and you really believed in a future with me, you would no longer be with him. You had four years and four months to make that decision. You don’t get to make it anymore now.” She pushed her chair back to put some distance between them. “It’s too fucking late. You already broke my heart. And you’re not the one who’s going to fix it. I’ll do that myself by staying away from you.” Quinn surprised herself, but she also knew that if she truly valued herself and respected her own feelings, this was the only way forward. What would giving Morgan yet another chance accomplish? In her heart of hearts, she knew she had to let her go for good. This was the end. Their chance at a future had come and gone—more than once.

  Morgan sat completely still. Maybe this wasn’t what she had expected. But surely she hadn’t thought Quinn would just take her back like that? Jump into her arms and pretend all the things that had happened between them never had? Quinn might be seventeen years Morgan’s junior, but she’d often felt like the wiser one. When Morgan finally looked up, her eyes were wet with tears.

  “Oh, fuck.” She pushed at the moisture under her eyes with the heels of her hands. “I had my chance.” She nodded slowly as though it had taken a while to process the information. “I hurt you too badly too many times.” The feet of her chair scraped against the floor as she pushed it away from the table. “Now I have to pay the ultimate price.”

  As well as a husky voice, brooding dark eyes, and a pair of very deft hands, Morgan also had a shameless flair for the dramatic. During one of their more memorable fights, Quinn had accused Morgan of craving the sheer drama that an extramarital affair entailed. Morgan might have denied it in words, but she’d remained as addicted to drama as ever. Quinn wondered where she’d found the energy all those years to deal with it. And, right now, it was crystal clear that this was over. That despite her feelings for Morgan, and the hurt she felt because she was no longer in her life, she didn’t want to do this any longer.

  Morgan rose. “Bye, babe,” she said. “I hope—” But she never finished her sentence and Quinn would never know what it was Morgan hoped for, because she turned around abruptly and exited the apartment.

  Chapter 19

  On Sunday afternoon, Maya was telling Angus how lovely her date with Beverly had been, when her phone buzzed.

  “No doubt she’s already missing you,” Angus said. He seemed to have warmed to Beverly after Maya had told him about how kind and wonderful she’d been in real life.

  “It’s probably Tommy,” Maya said with confidence because it usually was. Still, there was a slight chance it was Beverly. They had agreed to go on another date sooner rather than later, possibly next weekend. Maybe Beverly was texting because she couldn’t wait to set it up.

  But when Maya checked her phone, the message she’d just received was neither from Tommy nor Beverly. It was from Quinn.

  I haven’t finished work on your picture yet, but I was thinking about you. Do you have time for coffee sometime this week? Quinn

  Maya had barely read the first message when a second one came in.

  You can tell me all about your date. ;-)

  “What’s that all about?” Angus asked. “Judging by that grin you can barely hold back, it must be some exciting news.”

  “It’s Quinn.” Maya didn’t know what to make of Quinn’s message—nor about Angus’ comment about that grin. As far as she knew, she’d kept her face perfectly expressionless.

  “Ooh. What does hot girl want?” Angus had a naturally energetic voice but now he sounded as though he’d swallowed a bolt of lightning.

  “To go for coffee and to ask how my date went.”

  “How very sweet of her.” He all but slapped his thigh. “She probably wants to know what she’s up against.”

  “What are you talking about?” Maya looked at the messages on her screen again.

  “Don’t play dumb with me, dear. We’ve had this conversation before, remember? I’m only reminding you because you seem to conveniently want to forget about it although I don’t quite understand why.”

  “We seem to have drawn totally opposite conclusions from the conversation.” Was Angus really insinuating Quinn wanted to date Maya—and vice versa?

  “What are you going to reply?” Angus ignored Maya’s admonishing completely. He was very skilled at only hearing what he wanted to hear.

  “I don’t know yet. I need to think about it.”

  “Aaah, come on, throw an old fellow a bone.” He flashed her a wide smile. “You know I don’t get out much anymore, and right now you’re my window to the very exciting outside world.”

  Maya rolled her eyes in a way that could rival Angus’ impressive eye-rolling expertise. “You’re so theatrical. Honestly. Thanks, by the way, for reducing me to your entertainment of the day.”

  “I don’t mean it like that, Maya. Come on.” He pursed his lips. “I’m not going to lie. Since you moved into the building, you’ve brightened up my life considerably. It’s not every day a gorgeous lady like yourself moves in across the hall. I can’t help it that I knew we would be great friends from the very first time you rounded the corner in those bright-red Louboutins.”

  Despite herself, Maya had to chuckle. She felt the same way about Angus—minus the shoes—and especially during her first few weeks in the city he’d been an equally bright spot in her day, always there to cheer her up with a hilarious observation that took her mind off the insecurities that came with such a big life change. Angus made her laugh and their banter acted as a reminder to not take herself too seriously.

  She took a sip of coffee, which reminded her of Quinn’s suggestion they go for coffee. At least she wasn’t suggesting cocktails.

  “How would you reply to Quinn’s message?” Maya was throwing Angus a big juicy bone by asking him that.

  He nodded as though he was giving it a great deal of thought. “It’s just coffee,” he said, after a while. “Maybe you can be friends.”

  Maya shook her head. “Bring back the real Angus, please.”

  Angus broke into a huge, toothy smile. “Don’t overthink it, Maya. Just say yes already. You and I both know you want to.”

  When she was back in her own apartment, Maya sat with her phone in her hands. She still hadn’t replied. She decided to follow Angus’ advice and s
tarted typing.

  Coffee sounds good. My date went very well, thanks for asking.

  She erased the last sentence. It didn’t feel right to give Quinn that information. Before she pressed ‘Send’, she added:

  How about Tuesday?

  Maya had barely had time to take a breath before the reply came in.

  I’m doing a shoot in the afternoon, but I’m free in the evening. Shall we make it drinks or dinner instead?

  Maya expelled a small sigh. The last text reminded her very much of the Quinn of ten years ago—of the person she’d spent that passionate night with. This was New York, where coffee houses were open twenty-four seven. It wasn’t because Quinn was only free in the evening that coffee—which had a different connotation to it than drinks, and most certainly than dinner—had to be replaced with cocktails. On the other hand, Maya had already agreed to coffee, so why the hell not go for a drink later in the day instead? Don’t overthink it, she repeated Angus’ words in her head. Just do it. She agreed to drinks on Tuesday evening. As they were discussing a time and place, another text message came in.

  I know I said it last night, but I just have to repeat myself (again): I had a lovely time with you. Are you free for dinner sometime this week? Beverly. xo

  Maya let a smile curl up her lips. Wasn’t this why she had moved here? To discover her true self, although she didn’t think she had that much discovering left to do. The absence of female romantic interests in her life hadn’t made her less aware of what it was she really wanted—on the contrary. But there had always been something holding Maya back. Until now. Maya ended the text conversation with Quinn and focused on Beverly.

  While they exchanged messages, and she waited for a reply, Maya wondered what she would have been doing on an ordinary Sunday afternoon back in Milbury. She wouldn’t have gone on a date to a glitzy restaurant with another woman the night before. She wouldn’t have been texting with Quinn Hathaway because she’d never have run into her on a photo shoot for work. And it wasn’t very likely that she would have been setting up a second date with another woman for next Friday. For the first time since she’d moved to the city, Maya felt more like a woman in her prime, a woman who turned heads, a woman desired by others, than she felt like a grandmother.

  As she and Beverly texted some flirty niceties back and forth—Beverly much more forward than Maya—Maya’s thoughts skipped back to her earlier text conversation with Quinn.

  Did she have to tell Beverly about Quinn? Was there some sort of moral code of dating that she had to adhere to? She didn’t think so because she and Quinn weren’t going on an actual date. Or was she just fooling herself into thinking that? Maya guessed she would find out on Tuesday.

  Chapter 20

  The only reason Quinn had texted Maya on Sunday, long before she’d finished her project and thus before she had agreed with herself that she could, was that Morgan’s visit had frustrated her so much. Quinn had wanted to take her mind off Morgan and the easiest and quickest way to do so at the time had been by texting Maya.

  Maya had been on her mind. Not only because Quinn had been working on her portrait non-stop, but because of what she stood for and, even more so, because of how she’d once made Quinn feel. Quinn surely wouldn’t mind feeling like that again, even though it seemed impossible with the cloud of Morgan hanging over her head.

  When Maya had texted back and had agreed to go out with her—for drinks, not just coffee—Quinn had been slightly beside herself. She was meeting Maya at a swanky bar close to Acton Academy. Even though she’d had to travel all the way to the Upper East Side during rush hour, Quinn didn’t mind one bit.

  When she arrived at the bar, Maya was already there. She was dressed in a navy pants suit that made her look more like a business woman than a dance teacher. She slipped off her tall chair and greeted Quinn with the warmest of smiles and a friendly kiss on the cheek.

  “Thanks for meeting me.” Quinn sat opposite Maya. When she tried to look her in the eye, Quinn found it difficult, which puzzled her. She wasn’t usually one to look away.

  “It’s my pleasure. That’s one reason I moved to New York: to go for after-work drinks with, uh… old and new friends.” She pushed the drinks menu in Quinn’s direction.

  Quinn was happy to direct her attention to the menu. What was going on with her? If she’d known she would feel like this, she might not have pushed for meeting Maya. She could hardly focus on the drinks list. “What are you having?” The lack of confidence in her tone of voice was another unexpected worry.

  “Guess.” Maya said.

  Quinn looked up and her gaze stalled at the low opening of Maya’s white blouse, exposing more than just her neck. “I honestly have no idea.”

  “Are you okay?” Maya sounded genuinely troubled. “You look a bit… I don’t know. Not like yourself, I guess.”

  “I’ve had a weird couple of days.” A server came by to take their order.

  When Maya asked for a manhattan, Quinn ordered the same, even though she liked her cocktails much fruitier.

  “How silly is it of me to get a thrill out of ordering a manhattan in Manhattan?” Unlike Quinn, Maya sounded much more casual than the last time they’d seen each other. Maybe because the shock of being confronted with a very particular night in her past had worn off and she could now see Quinn as a possible friend—an old and new one at the same time.

  “Utterly adorable is what it is.” Quinn’s trepidation was ebbing away at the sight of Maya’s easy demeanor.

  “Why are you so out of sorts?” Maya cut to the chase.

  Quinn could hardly admit to Maya that seeing her again, dressed up like that, made her feel all funny inside. “Just stuff with my ex.” Surely, Maya hadn’t dressed like that for Quinn’s benefit? If she had, Quinn might start feeling even funnier.

  “Ah,” was all Maya said.

  “I don’t really want to get into it, even though in a weird roundabout way, she’s the reason I texted you.”

  “How so?”

  Oh, shit. Quinn hadn’t meant to admit that either. She was seriously off her game tonight. She blamed Morgan for that as well. “It’s kind of hard to explain but, well, I guess I just really felt like seeing you again.”

  “Here I am.” Maya sounded as though, in the space of a week, she’d really found her feet in the city. Maybe it was the date she’d been on. Maybe she was smitten. Quinn didn’t really want to consider how she felt about that.

  “So your date went well?” Quinn might as well get that topic out of the way. It wasn’t that she didn’t wish Maya well. Of course, she did. But aside from feeling a little off, Quinn also detected a few pangs of jealousy running through her.

  “Beverly and I had a lovely time.”

  Quinn perked up her ears for any change in Maya’s tone when she spoke of Beverly. She couldn’t immediately detect any, but she was hardly an expert on the inflections in Maya’s voice. “That’s wonderful.”

  “I feel a touch bad talking about my successful date when you’re still so down in the dumps about Morgan.”

  Quinn waved off Maya’s comment. “I asked you about it and I’m not that depressed. We had a frustrating altercation that mostly reminded me of all the reasons it’s actually a good thing we broke up. So, please, feel free to tell me all about Beverly.”

  The server arrived with their drinks. Quinn could do with a quick sip or two.

  “To old and new friends.” Maya raised her glass and Quinn clinked hers against it.

  “Griff almost went berserk when I told her Tommy’s married to Beth Robbins.” Quinn seized the opportunity to change the subject.

  “Really?”

  “She’s kind of a news junkie. CNN is the preferred background noise at Casa Griffin-Hathaway.”

  “It’s funny. To me, Beth’s just Beth. Tommy met her in college, long before she started presenting the news.”

  “Tommy didn’t do too badly for himself then.”

  “Whenever he didn’
t feel like it, I always assured him he would thank me for being such an accomplished dancer later and guess what? Mom was right.”

  Quinn was relieved they could share their first genuine laugh of the evening. She’d needed that much more than a sip of liquor. The stiffness in her spine gave way a little.

  “Beth’s lovely, in case you’re wondering. She works long hours, though. Ethan was barely two months old when she went back to work.” Maya shook her head. “But I realized years ago there’s no point telling young people that they shouldn’t work themselves into such a frenzy. Tommy and Beth don’t listen to me when it comes to that. At least Ethan has two very doting grandmothers. Between Belinda and me, I think we might end up raising that boy.”

  “That should make for another excellent dancer in the Mercer family.” Quinn loved how Maya lit up even more when she talked about her family.

  “You should have seen their wedding dance.” A radiant smile burst onto Maya’s face. “I couldn’t believe it when Tommy came to me for help.”

  “How long have they been married?”

  “It’ll be three years soon.”

  “Three years? Tommy was only twenty-five when he married Beth?” Quinn had never before in her life felt old, let alone past her prime, but she did now. Compared to Tommy, who was married to Beth freaking Robbins, Quinn was a loser at all things romance, what with her four-year affair with a married woman just having ended.

  “He was nineteen when they met. They hardly rushed into it.”