Liv, in the Moment

by Dale, Tracy

  Liv eyed him curiously. She knew he didn't have anything he had to do. Aside from hang out at her house, that is.

  After school, when they were plopped on her sofa drinking soda, she asked him, "How come you don't want to go to the movies?"

  Connor shrugged but she noticed how uncomfortable he looked. And then it suddenly made sense and she wanted to slap her forehead. Why did she always get what was going on after she showed how clueless she was? Ugh.

  Connor didn't have a job. Didn't have a car, and didn't have a family who cared. She'd noticed his clothes were a bit worn and his shoes had seen better days, but not so bad as to make anyone wonder about it. He made it look like a style, but she knew better. His family provided the bare-bones basics. He wouldn't get extra money for going out or to the movies. She knew he'd tried to find a job, but none of the local stores were hiring. And he couldn't take the bus to apply elsewhere, because he didn't have money to buy a bus pass.

  She quickly changed the subject, but when he left after dinner that night, she went to her Dad. "Do you need any help at work?"

  Liv watched him cringe.

  "You aren't asking me for a job, are you?" he said. "I know how you feel about women's equality, Liv, but construction is--"

  Liv made an impatient sound. "Not for me. For Connor."

  "Oh." Blatant relief. "Because you know, Liv, I think you can do whatever you set your mind to. Even if it is construction."

  Liv swallowed her laugh. She knew now that the threat of "Girl in the man-place" was gone, he was comfortable speaking her language.

  "So Connor wants a job?" he said.

  "I think he does. He didn't ask me to ask you. But he always says he can't go out with the group when we plan things. I think it's because he has no money."

  "I wonder if that's why he doesn't play sports at school," Mom said.

  Liv had wondered the same. She remembered he'd played football their freshmen year, but stopped after that. Being on a team would cost money, and even if he could get it through charity, she knew it would be difficult for him to admit the need.

  She realized anew how much her parents provided for her and how hard Connor had it.

  "There's room for him to help out after school," Dad said. "I'll talk to him about it."

  Liv's smile was blinding. "Thanks, Dad. Just don't tell him I asked you, okay?"

  "Sure thing, Livvy."

  She stared at him, her smile gone. "It's Liv, Dad. Livvy was okay when I was, like, two."

  "Sorry. Liv, and only Liv it is." He didn't quite hide his amusement.

  * * * *

  Connor started working for her dad two days later.

  Dad was very smooth with the job offer. Muttered something about being damned--darned, after Mom interrupted him--busy at work, and he could really use some part-time help. Then he looked at Connor and said, "You have a job?"

  Connor was clearly embarrassed when he said, "No, sir."

  "You're a strong boy. I could use you at the job sites. Interested?"

  Connor's face lit up like a Christmas tree then abruptly fell. Mom jumped in before he could speak. "I can drop you off after school, if you want." She flipped a page in her magazine. Liv was pretty sure she was only pretending to read it.

  "I'll bring you home," Dad said. "Well?"

  "Yeah...that would be-- Yes. Yes, sir. Thank you. When can I start?"

  "Tomorrow. Nine bucks an hour. If you want more hours during the summer time, I could use the help."

  "Sure! Absolutely! That sounds great."

  By the time summer hit, Connor was working full time for her dad. His goal was to get a car before school started again. It almost made Liv feel guilty when her parents surprised her with a car for her July birthday. Almost. She'd been using her mom's van since she passed her driving test and it wasn't exactly a sweet ride.

  When they took her outside to where the gently used white Honda Civic sat, she screamed in excitement while tears streamed from her eyes.

  Connor was almost as excited, even though he told her later he'd been with Dad when he negotiated the purchase.

  After a thoroughly thrilling test drive, they went back inside the house where Connor gave her his present. It was a silver license plate frame with the word "Lucky" scribed across it. Liv laughed and groaned, aware it was a reference to her Lucky Legs but still she loved it. Connor promptly put it on the car for her.

  It was the best birthday of Liv's life. And the summer was shaping up to be more fun than she ever had before.

  * * *

  CHAPTER THREE

  Sweet Smack Down

  Liv's uncle, Mark, moved into their spare bedroom for his thirty-day leave. Liv loved having him around. He and Dad were always telling jokes and laughing, and besides, Mark was a little wild, so she never knew what he was going to do.

  Connor was cautious around him at first, but Liv could see how curious he was. About a week after Mark's arrival, when he finished telling a funny story about a training session gone bad, Connor's curiosity won out.

  "So, you're a Green Beret?"

  Mark looked at him hard. "You have a voice?"

  Connor flushed but didn't say anything.

  Mark said, "Been waiting for you to speak up. You've got the Army look about you."

  Connor's flush deepened. "My dad is in the Marines."

  "Marines," Mark said in a tone of disdain, but then he grinned. "I'm Army, Special Forces."

  "That's a Green Beret," Liv whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

  "Cool," Connor said. "What's it like?"

  "It's fuc--"

  "Mark!" Mom said.

  "It's frickin' amazing. It's not just about the raids, though admittedly, they are frickin' invigorating. It's the other stuff too. The diplomacy. Helping your neighbor, if you know what I mean. Respecting the culture you're working with and helping them become a stronger nation. You should sign up when you graduate."

  "Stop trying to recruit him," Mom said.

  "Why? He looks like exactly the kind of guy we love to see come in."

  "Yeah, it's okay. I want to know about it," Connor said.

  Mark grinned with approval. "See?"

  They were best buddies after that. Connor questioned him endlessly about the Army and Mark was clearly only too happy to answer. Liv was amazed by how happy Connor seemed.

  The following Monday, Connor came early to get breakfast, as had become his habit. Dad and Mark were reading the paper and Liv was telling Mom about the strange dream she'd had the night before. When Connor walked in, she glanced up to smile a greeting but shrieked instead.

  Everyone immediately looked at him.

  Dad stood so abruptly, his chair nearly toppled over. Mom covered her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. Mark's expression went fierce and hard, until he looked downright scary. The newspaper he'd been reading crumpled as he clenched his fists.

  Connor looked both ashamed and defiant. Dad walked over to him. He gently clasped his chin then tilted his head to examine the damage. Connor's left eye was nearly swollen shut. "This was no football accident."

  Liv remembered that was how she'd explained Connor's battered face the first time she brought him home.

  "Your stepfather again?" Dad's voice was hard.

  "Yeah. I didn't know you knew." His words were muffled because he barely moved his mouth. It was a little swollen and there was a line of dried blood from a cut on his lower lip.

  Mom handed Connor a jelled ice pack she'd gotten from the freezer. Liv got three ibuprofens from the medicine cabinet and poured a glass of water. Mark didn't move, but a volcanic fury blazed in his eyes.

  Connor took the pills, and then placed the ice pack over his eye. Liv pulled him to the kitchen table and pushed her half-eaten pancakes in front of him. "I'll get some fresh ones for you, but you should eat right away so the ibuprofen won't make you feel sick."

  Connor slowly began to eat.

  "How long has he been hitting you?" Ma
rk said.

  Connor swallowed hard, as if his throat was tight. "About a year."

  "What happened?" Dad said.

  Connor sipped Liv's orange juice before he said, "He was drinking again last night. Worse than usual. When I got home, he started yelling at me for leaving a glass in the sink. I told him to back off. He just...flipped out."

  "Does he hit your mother?" Mark said.

  Connor cut into his pancakes. Then cut again, as if he needed the distraction. "No. She stays in bed most of the time. She says she's too depressed to get up."

  "But she knows he hits you?" Mom said softly.

  Connor didn't look at her. "Yeah."

  Mom frowned in what Liv knew was outrage, but she kept silent.

  Dad cleared his throat. "I'm going to call this in, Connor."

  "I know," he said. "Will they... Will they put me in an orphanage?"

  "Nothing will likely happen," Mark said. "Your stepdad will get a slap on the wrist and you'll be hit again."

  Liv expected her mom to contradict him, but she didn't. Neither did her dad. She was stunned. "They won't do anything to help him?"

  "Lack of funds and bureaucratic bullshit," Mark said. "They'll investigate, offer assistance to help the family. By the time they get around to removing him from the home, he'll be an adult."

  Connor kept his head lowered and ate methodically. Just as he took the last bite, Liv set a fresh plate of pancakes before him. His softly spoken, "Thank you, Liv," made her eyes well up with tears.

  She wiped them away and busied herself with making more pancakes. When she had them cooking, she looked at Dad, who was staring meaningfully at Mark. He cleared his throat and said gruffly, "I think you should take a day off, Connor. You're working full time right now, so you're entitled to sick pay. Mary and Liv will keep you stuffed with food. Mark will probably talk your ear off about some mission he's been on, where mutilated bodies dangled over his head."

  "You make it sound like a really bad movie," Mark drawled, but Liv could see fury still burning in his eyes.

  "Must be your storytelling then," Dad said. "Well, Connor?"

  Connor's Adam's apple bobbed. "If it's okay with you, sir. I could use a sick day."

  Dad got up from the table to kiss Mom and Liv goodbye. After he murmured something to Mom, he paused to clasp Connor's shoulder then left for work.

  Mark regaled them with a gruesome story, but only one, before he said he had a few things to do. Mom followed on his heels with an excuse about shopping lists. Liv knew they were up to something.

  "Are they going to the police?" Connor said after they left. He and Liv were on the sofa in the den. Connor was slouched so low, he was almost horizontal. Liv sat facing him, tension thrumming through her, ready to jump up and see to any need he had.

  "I don't think so," she said. "I'm pretty sure Dad has called it in by now, anyway. Have the police been to your house ever?"

  Connor's gaze slid away. "Child Protective Services came once. It was your parents who called, wasn't it?"

  She instantly felt guilty. "Does that make you mad?"

  "No."

  They lapsed into silence. He flipped over to one of the movie channels. She stared at him out of the corner of her eye and noticed how he took careful breaths. "Why is it so bad this time?" she said.

  "He used his fists." He started to shrug but abruptly stopped. "Maybe because I'm not going to school right now, he doesn't think he needs to be as careful with my face."

  "How long has he been your stepdad?"

  "Two years."

  He seemed open to talking so Liv decided to keep asking questions. "Could you tell he was abusive before they got married?"

  Connor laughed without smiling. "My mom hardly knew him three months when she married him. He was pretty controlling right off. Couple months after they got married, he controlled everything--her money, her time, her life. When he started hitting me, that's when she started hiding in her bedroom. Now she never leaves it." He said it without emotion, but Liv sensed his underlying hurt and anger.

  "Why did she marry him so quickly?"

  "My dad had just divorced her for some tail he picked up overseas. Dumped my mom, married his new chick within a couple weeks."

  "What a jerk."

  Connor tried to shrug again and immediately winced. "He's great when he's around."

  "But he's not been around since he dumped your mom."

  Connor nodded, but kept his gaze fixed on the screen. They watched the movie for a while before Liv said hesitantly, "Do you... Do you feel ashamed?"

  Connor looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "Shit, Liv. What the hell are you talking about?"

  "I want to study Psychology in college and--"

  Connor groaned. "A shrink? So what is this? Help Fucked Up Connor Time?"

  "No, that's not what this is," she snapped. "What I'm saying is that since I'm interested in that stuff, I've read about it, and people who've been abused often blame themselves and feel ashamed. I just wanted to know if you felt that way."

  Connor stared at her. "Keith's an asshole, and I want to punch his fucking lights out. Okay?"

  "You don't have to cuss so much."

  "Sorry, Twiglet."

  "Jerk."

  Connor grinned suddenly, but it immediately turned into a grimace.

  Liv glowered at him. "Serves you right." She pushed off the sofa.

  "Where you going?"

  "To make cookies."

  "I'll have ten. At least. And a large glass of milk."

  Liv huffed and went to the kitchen. An hour later she came out with a plate piled high and a huge glass of milk filled to the brim. When he reached for them, she noticed that his lips tightened, as if the motion hurt. She stepped back, holding them out of his reach.

  "What?"

  "Let me see your stomach."

  He frowned and fell back on the sofa. "I thought you didn't want me to show you my body parts."

  "The deal was for you to stop grabbing them."

  "So if I dropped my pants, that would be fine--"

  "Shut up." She felt herself blushing. "Let me see your stomach, Connor."

  "Sure. Why not? Give you something else to look at besides my face." He jerked his shirt up.

  His stomach was a large bruised mass, purple and black. His skin was smooth, hairless. The beauty of his flesh made the contusions seem amplified somehow.

  He'd stared at the TV when he lifted his shirt, but he looked at her when he slowly lowered it. "Can I have the cookies now?" he said quietly.

  Liv set the plate next to him, the milk on the side table within easy reach. "I'll be right back." She went to her room to get an elastic bandage she'd used the summer before when she'd sprained an ankle. "Let me wrap your stomach," she said when she was back.

  He froze, a cookie halfway to his mouth. He looked ready to tell her to get out of his face but he suddenly sighed, set the cookie down and carefully removed his shirt.

  Liv knew she blushed as she sat down next to him. Even bruised, he deserved to be on the Most Sexually Desirable list.

  She ignored the warmth spreading through her body and carefully began binding his stomach. "Is it too tight?" She was entranced by the gooseflesh rising on his skin as her fingers dragged across it.

  "No," he said, his voice just as soft as hers.

  She would never admit that she deliberately stroked him, but with each slide of the bandage behind his back, she let her fingertips trail over his smooth skin. When she reached the end of it, she was almost disappointed.

  Connor's eyes were hooded when he said, "Thanks."

  Liv smoothed her hand over the bandage. "Does it feel better? Having this on?"

  "Yeah."

  She stared into his eyes, the hazel green so intense she felt as though she was drowning in them.

  "Your eyes are blue near the center, and then turn brown," he said. "It's pretty."

  "I always thought it was weird."

  "No." />
  Liv didn't realize she was slowly leaning toward him, until she heard the garage door open. She jerked upright. Connor grabbed his shirt and slipped it back on.

  When Mom and Mark walked in they were lounging on the sofa, watching a movie.

  "How's it going, kids?" Mom said and leaned down to kiss the top of Liv's head. She did the same with Connor.

  He jerked, but otherwise showed no reaction. "Pretty good. Liv made cookies."

  "Oh yeah?" Mark said. "Any left?"

  Liv had to laugh. "I made twice as many as I usually do."

  "It's a miracle I don't weigh a ton with as many sweets as you provide," Mom said.

  Mark looked her up and down, clearly appreciating her lean yet curvy frame. "Mary, you're hotter now than the day my brother married you."

  "Ew," Liv said. "That just sounds so wrong, Mark."

  "Your mom is a beautiful woman. But when your dad married her, she was skinnier than you."

  "I was twenty, if you'll recall," Mom said. "I was still a kid. It takes a while for a girl to become a woman."

  Liv wasn't buying it. "It doesn't seem like it when all the other girls at school have boobs and hips. Especially when they started getting them when we were in grade school." She felt Connor shift on the sofa and felt a flare of embarrassment to be discussing girl's bodies so frankly in front of him.

  "You were as skinny as Liv?" Connor eyed Mom with obvious curiosity.

  "Skinnier. I thought I'd look like a beanpole my whole life, but everything changed when things started to mature. I was just a bit later than most girls is all."

  Connor looked at Liv, speculation in his eyes. Liv blushed and pushed herself off the sofa. "Anyone hungry for lunch?"

  Two resounding claims of, "I am!" hit her ears. Mom followed her into the kitchen, shaking her head. They both were smiling as they set about making food.

  * * * *

  Mark walked Connor home that night. When he returned, he called a family meeting at the kitchen table.

  "Checked out the house. The stepfather is a drunk. Bottles everywhere. His mother never made an appearance."

  "Did his stepdad look worried when you came in?" Liv said.

  "A bit," Mark said, "But not enough."

  "What are we going to do?" Dad looked at her but said nothing. "Oh, come on! I know you guys are up to something."