Vegas rich

by Michaels, Fern

  "Pretty good as a matter of fact. Not as good as this, though," he said, filling his plate. "Did you cook any of this, honey?"

  "Not one bit!" Fanny said cheerfully.

  "Ash just told us he can't stay for the four days he was promised. He has to leave in the morning. He almost didn't make the flight that got him here," Sallie said as she turned to stare at Fanny with puzzled eyes.

  "That's a shame," Fanny said, digging into a pile of mashed potatoes on her plate. "Oh, these are good. I guess I'm never going to take off this weight."

  "Of course you will. You lost most of it already. I was the same way."

  "Sallie's absolutely right. Sallie looked . . . puj^ for some time."

  "Thank you, Philip. I was not pujfy. I was fat."

  Ash looked first at his mother, then at his father. He turned to stare at Fanny. The realization that she was sitting next to his mother seemed to starde him. He could feel his face draining, h was uncanny how much alike they looked. He felt a chill run up his back. Both Mrs. Thorntons were staring at him, waiting for him to say something. "How much weight did you gain, honey?"

  "Sixty-five pounds," Fanny said smardy.

  "Sixty-five pounds!"

  Fanny continued to shovel food into her mouth.

  An ominous silence fell over the table.

  "Tell us. Ash, what do you think of those robust sons of yours?" Devin said, trying to break the silence. Sallie's eyes thanked him.

  "I think they're as handsome as their mother and father. When do they start doing things?"

  "Any day now," Bess said.

  "Like what?"

  "You know, standing on their heads, climbing out of the crib, whisding, that kind of thing," Bess said. This man was going to break her best friend's heart, and there was nothing she could do to prevent it.

  Sallie forced a laugh. "Bess is teasing you. For now they just eat, sleep, and cry. Around five or six months they might roll over and discover their hands and toes."

  "You're going to miss that. Ash," Fanny said, reaching for her third dinner roll. She lobbed on a knife full of butter and stuffed it in her mouth. What in the world was wrong with her? So what if her husband looked shocked at her appearance. She herself was shocked each time she looked in the mirror.

  "I'm sorry, everyone, this tension here at the table is all my fault. My weight isn't coming off as fast as I thought it would. The next time you see me. Major Ash Thornton, you better hold on to those wings on your blouse because I'm going to knock you for a loop. Please accept my apology, and let's just be a family enjoying dinner."

  SalHe clapped her hands, as did everyone at the table. "That's my girl," she said.

  "Is that what this is all about?" Ash demanded. "Honey, you look perfect to me. You could be dressed in rags with your hair in curlers and it would be okay. What's for dessert?"

  Sallie stared across the table at her son. Philip lowered his gaze so his son wouldn't realize he heard the lie in his voice. Devin Rollins's eyes clearly said, you hurt my women, you answer to me. Ash understood Devin's silent message perfectly.

  Fanny's guests excused themselves at six o'clock to aJlow the new-lyweds time alone.

  "You call me if anything goes wrong, John and I have the house to ourselves till my parents get back from Virginia," Bess hissed in her ear.

  "Call me if there's anything I can do," Sallie whispered against Fanny's cheek.

  "Give him a little room, Fanny. Fatherhood is a shock to any man," Philip murmured.

  "You're as pretty, maybe prettier, than the first day I saw you at the drugstore. You know where to find me if you need me," Devin Rollins said.

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  When the door closed behind the last guest, Ash said, "What was all that whispering about?"

  "Good wishes, that kind of thing. You look tired, Ash."

  "So do you, honey. I wish I could sleep the clock around, but I can't. I have to be up and out of here by three-thirty in the morning. This is really a nice house. Big rooms. Mom always liked big rooms. The bigger the room, the more furniture you have to have. I can see why you have to have all that help. I don't make enough money for all that, Fanny. You're going to have to cut back. We can't keep taking money from my mother; it isn't right."

  "I know. Ash. I tried to say no. She insisted. As soon as I can get a routine, a system of some kind, I'll let all the help go. The twins wear me down, Ash. If I get sick, who's going to take care of the boys? I need your mother now because I realize my limitations. I learned a long time ago that you should never fool yourself We have to set-de this now between us so that it doesn't start to fester."

  "You're right, Fanny. I want what's best for you. My head must have been in the clouds, no pun intended. We haven't had much of a marriage, have we? I'll make it all up to you when I get out. Let's sit on the couch for a litde while and have some coffee and brandy. I want to hear all about my sons and what you've been doing. Ring that damn bell for some service. As long as we have it we might as well use it."

  It was nine o'clock when Fanny and Ash climbed the steps to their room. "This is pretty," Ash said, looking around. "Did you decorate it, or did my mother do it?"

  "I did it. I picked out all the colors. I tried to use neutral tones so you wouldn't think it was a woman's room. You're going to sleep here, too. The boys were here for a while in the beginning, but I didn't think that was a good idea, so I moved them to their own room."

  "Commendable. Let's go to bed, Mrs. Thornton."

  "I thought you'd never ask."

  "This is a lot different from that shack on the beach. I liked it though. I don't think I'm ever going to forget that," Ash said as he nuzzled her neck.

  "I loved it. Coming home on the plane I thought I could live there forever if you were with me."

  "You can't live in paradise all year long. It's just a place to visit. Thai's why they call it paradise. I know what you mean, though. Look, Fanny, about before, if I did something or said something. . .

  I'm sorry. One minute you were fine and the next you turned to ice. TeU me what I said or did, so I make sure I don't do it again,"

  Fanny started to cry. "It was the way you looked at me. I looked at myself the same way, but when I saw myself through your eyes, I got angry. I'm sorry. I meant it when I said the next time you see me I'll look like the old me. Half the battie will be over when the boys start sleeping through the night."

  "Shuck those clothes, Mrs. Thornton. Speed is of the essence."

  Fanny froze. "I'll use the bathroom," she muttered.

  "Okay, but don't take forever. I've waited for this day for a long time."

  "Me too," she managed to murmur.

  In the bathroom, Fanny took off her clothes. It was all she could do not to yelp when she removed the gauze pads from her nipples. Ash wasn't going to understand this. She wrapped one of the large bath towels around her and took a deep breath.

  Fanny shed the towel and sUpped between the sheets, thanking God as she did so for only the night-light Ash had left on. Did he turn off the Lights on purpose so he wouldn't have to look at her body? They'd made love in broad dayhght, in the bright sunshine on the beach. They'd left the Ughts on in the shack, too. The desire she felt for her husband dissipated. It surfaced again when Ash kissed her, his tongue searching and seizing her ovm as his knee pried her legs apart. He was inside, exploding a moment later. He rolled over, gasping with his exertion. "I couldn't wait. It's all I've been thinking about for days. We'll do it your way in a few minutes. Don't be angry with me. I wanted you so bad I could taste it."

  "It's okay," Fanny whispered. "Why don't you sleep now and when you wake, if we want we can ..."

  "Don't let me sleep too long. I have to be out of here by three-thirty at the latest." A second later he was snoring lightiy, and Fanny was crying into her pillow. Finally, she too slept.

  Shortly after midnight, Fanny was jerked to wakefulness by her husband's body spooning against hers. She did what was expected
— she squeezed her thighs hard against her husband's manhood. He moaned with pleasure as he flipped her over. "Get on top of me and do what you did back in Hawaii, ride me like a stallion."

  It was a replay of their time in paradise, right down to the part where Ash rolled her over, mounting her, snorting and snarling as he pounded into her. Suddenly she found herself on her side, her husbaind facing her. "That's what you like, isn't it?" he rasped. She

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  saw his head coming dovm, saw his mouth open, knew his intent, but she wasn't quick enough to pull and slide away from him.

  "What the hell! Jesus, Fanny, what . . . ?" A moment later the bright bedside light came on. "And you were going to let me .. . Jesus Christ!" Fanny felt her own milk splatter over her neck and face. If there was a way for her to die right then and there, Fanny would have opted for death. Instead she tried to grind herself into the mattress and pillows beneath her. She struggled for the sheet and pulled it up to her chin. Ash ripped it away. The naked revulsion she saw on his face made Fanny squeeze her eyes shut. "You're still nursing those babies! When you wrote and told me that, I thought you meant for a week or so." He made it sound like she'd suckled the Devil. 'Jesus, the bed is all wet."

  "You don't just nurse a baby for a week, Ash. They're on a bot-de now, but they have to be weaned slowly. It isn't easy."

  "This is 1944, not the Dark Ages. No one forced you to do this to yourself. That's why they make baby bottles. My own mother gave me a botde, and that was twenty years ago. Jesus, Fanny, every time I think of you I'm going to envision those two babies hanging off. . . I can't handle this. I have to get out of here."

  A hundred things flashed through Fanny's mind. Nasty things, explanations, pleas for understanding. She cowered beneath the covers, listening to the sounds of the shower. She wanted to reach out and turn off the light, but she didn't.

  Thirty minutes later, Ash exited the bathroom, fully dressed. From the doorway he stared at his wife. "I know I'm probably wrong. Tomorrow or the next day I'll no doubt regret this . . . this . .. whatever it is. I'm sure my expectations were ... are ... I expected , . . wanted ... I need some time to ... 1 don't know, I just need time. Maybe we needed to know each other a htde . . .I'm confused. I'll write, Fanny."

  Fanny lay as still as a statue. Surely this wasn't happening to her. But it was. Her husband was walking out on her because.. . because she nursed her babies. Because she'd gained too much weight. Because they didn't know each other well enough. From somewhere, deep within her, she found the guts to say, "Don't bother."

  He was almost to the doorway when he turned and said, "What?"

  "You heard me. I said, don't bother to write."

  "Okay, if that's the way you want it, I won't. What are you going to do now, call my mother and cry on her shoulder?"

  "It doesn't really matter, does it?"

  "No, I guess it doesn't.*'

  Fanny closed her eyes as she waited for the door to slam. Instead, it closed so quiedy, she had to strain her eyes in the darkness to see that her husband had really left.

  13

  Fanny looked at the bedside clock: 6:00 a.m. She lit a cigarette and stared at the messy ashtray. It looked disgusting. The bed looked disgusting, the room looked disgusting. She knew she looked disgusting sitting here, huddled in bed like some pariah. Men walked out on their wives every day of the week. Women walked out on their husbands every day of the week. "No matter what, I would never do that," Fanny muttered around a cloud of cigarette smoke. Who was that man in bed with her saying those terrible things at two-thirty in the morning? She crushed out her cigarette and fired up another one. So, he wasn't going to write. Well, tough noogies; she wasn't going to write either.

  Moon appeared in the doorway. Birch in her arms. Fanny shook her head. "Give him a bottle." Moon nodded. Had she heard Ash's sharp words, heard him leave? Did it matter?

  Fanny reached for the phone. "Bess, I want to go Christmas shopping. I want you to go with me. Please?"

  "Sure. We'll go in an hour. What happened? Don't leave anything out, I'm your friend, Fanny. I'm on your side, and I can be objective, so don't be embarrassed."

  Fanny told her.

  "You aren't crying, why is that? Did you cry after he left?"

  "No. I guess I was too numb to cry. I'll tell you all about it. Let me get cleaned up and I'll walk over to your house. How does ten o'clock sound?"

  "Ten o'clock is fine with me. You're sure you're okay, Fanny?"

  "No, I'm not okay. I need some time to .. . I just need some time. Bess, do you think the hurt will ever go away?"

  "Time heals everything, Fanny. There might be a scar or two, but time will heal. It's the best I can offer."

  "You're such a good friend, Bess. I'll see you in a htde while."

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  It was well past the dinner hour when Fanny returned home. She checked on her sleepir^ sons, changed her clothes, pumped her milk, and took the second pill John had given her to help dry it up. As John had said, his face full of compassion, the healing process was under way.

  At nine o'clock the phone rang. Fanny tripped over her own feet in her rush to get to it. Maybe it was Ash. It was Sallie.

  "Farmy, how are you? How are things with the twins? Are they adapting to the bottles?"

  "I'm fine, SaUie. The boys are doing just fine, they only cry when they're hungry or need to be changed. They gobble down the bot-de and go right back to sleep. If it hadn't been for you, my sons would still be wailing. I feel so stupid."

  "Don't be so hard on yourself, darling. These things happen. Did Ash get off all right? Was it as wonderful as you expected? Forget I asked that, it's none of my business. Wait till you hear this, Fanny. My brother Seth and BiUie and her mother are coming to Nevada for Christmas. Actually, they'll arrive Christmas Eve. I cannot believe it. Billie can't wait to meet you. She said the two of you have had some wonderful conversations over the phone. She sounded really excited. That's really why I'm calhng. I did try calling earlier, but Yee said you'd gone out with Bess. I'm glad you're getting out and about. There is a world outside the house."

  "I decided that I would love to go to Sunrise over the holidays if the invitation is still open. Will you have enough room for everyone?"

  "Of course. If there isn't, I can always sleep in the schoolroom. Peggy and her husband Steve will be joining us. She's finally agreed to move permanendy to Nevada. She liked the freedom of going back and forth to her htde house in Texas, but as Steve says, she's a political wife now. I wish Ash and Simon could make it, but I'm afraid this is going to be amother Christmas without them. Someday Sunrise will be yours, so it's fitting that the twins spend their first Christmas there. Do you feel that way, Fanny?"

  "Very much so. I'm looking forward to the holidays."

  "Now that you have house help we can shop till Christmas. It wiU be so much fun. I'll let you go, sweetie. Sleep well."

  "Thanks for calling, Sallie. Have a nice evening."

  From long months of habit, Fanny sat down at the desk in her

  room and wrote a letter to Ash—a letter she would not mail. She poured out her heart on the paper, her eyes dry, her heart sore and bruised. When she finished, she folded the letter and stuck it under the blotter on the desk. Her hand reached for the phone. It was time to talk to Billie Coleman. She placed the call.

  "It's Fanny, Billie. Is this too late to be calling you? I need to talk to someone."

  "Not at all. Something's wrong, I can hear it in your voice. I'm listening, Fanny. Take your time, I have all night. Maggie is asleep and I was just sitting here reading."

  "How are you feeling?"

  Billie laughed. "Like I'm six months pregnant, which I am. Most of the time I'm miserable and sick. Seth growls and my mother hovers. They want a boy so bad. I can't tell you how excited I am that we're coming to see you over the holidays. I'm counting the days. Oh, Fanny, it was a battle royal, but I won. I just up and told them I was goin
g, with or without them. Amelia is coming too, I insisted on that. You're going to love her. Seth has been so brutal to her. He disowned her, can you believe that? I want to cry for her, but she's tough. I wish I was more like that. I hate living here, Fanny, I really do."

  "Oh, Billie, I wish you were here. All Sallie could do was talk about you after her trip to Texas. Maybe she can get your father-in-law to turn around. I can't wait to see you and your little girl."

  The conversation went on for hours. When Fanny hung up at midnight, she felt more like her old self. She knew she would sleep. Billie Coleman had that rare ability to say the right thing at the right time, no matter how miserable she herself was feeling.

  Fanny dropped to her knees to say her evening prayers. "Please, God, look after my family and keep them safe. If it's possible, allow Ash to . . . to . . . get over what he feels. It would be a help if you'd let Billie feel a litde better. Thank you, God, for hearing my prayer."

  Fanny slept deeply and dreamlessly for the first time in eleven months.

  "Philip, how terrible! When are you leaving? Are you sure you don't want me to go with you? I will, you know. I know how much you loved your brother. How sad that he should pass away at this time of year."

  "Sallie, I appreciate the offer, but you need to be here with Fanny

  and the boys. Your brother and his fjunily are coming. It's not as though you ever knew my brother."

  "I feel Hke I do, PhiUp. You talked about him so much. I don't like you going alone."

  "Do we need another lesson in Philip Thornton's logic? Isn't it better for one person to be sad than a whole family? Of course it is. SaUie, it's okay, really it is. I wouldn't have much time to spend with you. I'm going to be busy with my brother's family. There are going to be many things I have to see to. I think I'll be gone for at least a month. Promise me you won't worry about me. I'll call when things are under control."

  "Philip, are you sure?"

  "I'm sure."

  "Are you leaving now?"

  "Yes. I was lucky to get a seat, this is the hohdays, but when I explained the circumstances, they managed to get me on the first available flight. Have a wonderful hohday. Red will drop my gifts off tomorrow. Thanks for inviting her, Sallie."