Vegas rich

by Michaels, Fern

  "Thank you is more than enough," Sallie said. "Would you like me to pin it on your jacket lapel? Diamonds show up nicely on black and navy blue."

  There had to be at least a hundred svmW. diamonds in the star lapel pin. Agnes grew light-headed as Sallie pinned the "trinket" on her jacket. "Oh, my," was all she could utter. Seth's eyes were going to pop right out of his head.

  "Oh, Mother, it's gorgeous," Billie said. Fanny concurred.

  "Thank you, Sallie."

  "My pleasure. Have a safe trip. Be still, Seth, she's coming," Sallie called down to the foot of the stairs. "Good lord, is he always like this?"

  "Worse," Billie said. "Mother, when Moss gets home, tell him I don't know when I'll be back."

  "I'll tell him, Billie. Stay as long as you like. You deserve this respite."

  "Take care of your grandmother," Billie said, hugging Riley.

  "Okay, Mom."

  Everyone waved wildly as one of Chue's cousins drove Seth, Riley, and Agnes down the mountain.

  "I'll be going too, Fanny," Sallie said. "It's time for me to get back to town. Thank you so much for letting me stay as long as I did. Any-

  time you feel the need for bright lights come down and we'll have dinner at Peridot. A night out with just us girls."

  "That sounds wonderful," Billie said. Fanny nodded.

  "Now that we're alone," Fanny said later, "let's see if we can't get into some trouble. Delicious trouble with a happy ending. We have until six o'clock, when Chue gets back with Sawyer."

  "What do you have in mind?"

  "Well, for starters, I thought you could call Admiral Kingsley and I could call Simon. Just to talk, of course. I'm not very good at this and I know you aren't either, so we need to come up with an excuse we're both comfortable with."

  "Moss wanted to have sex with me the night before he left. He was going off to New York the next day to meet Alice. I felt like a whore, Fanny."

  "Did you do it?"

  "I wasn't exacdy an active participant, if that's what you mean. I've never refused him. I should have told him I knew where he was going, but 1 couldn't because then he would have known you overheard him on the phone."

  "You could call him on some pretext or other. Or, if you want to catch him you could head for New York right now. I can take care of Sawyer. There's a plane for New York right after lunch. Around one o'clock. You'll be there by six. The desk clerk will give you a key to the room. After all, you are Mrs. Moss Coleman. How could they refuse?"

  "Fanny, if I do that, if I actually catch . . . him ... see him with Alice, then I have to do something about it. Hearing about his infidelity is one thing, seeing it is something else. A part of me will always love Moss. It's a small part, and it gets smaller by the day. One day it won't be there anymore and then . . . then I'll do what I have to do. I know that makes me a fool in your eyes. As a woman I guess I'm a fizzle."

  "If that's true, then this fizzle recognizes your fizzle. I guess we aren't glamorous enough. We're mothers. Maybe that has something to do with it. Ash told me once I was used. I was too ashamed to ask what he meant. He can be very cruel sometimes, and when he's like that, he convinces me I'm not good enough, and I hide out to lick my wounds."

  "I can relate to that. It's the power and the money behind them. Moss feels he deserves whatever he wants. He offers no apologies because he's entided to whatever it is. Seth agrees with him. In your

  wildest dreams would you ever think a man would bury his horse next to his wife? Moss thought that was just fine. I want to take Sawyer and run as fast as I can. Riley too, but I know he would opt to stay with his father. It would tear him apart if he had to leave Sunbridge."

  "You need to sign on for Simon's runaway cruise on his boat called Someday." Fanny laughed. "I did. Fll go if Simon ever gets it under way. I swear, Billie, I could walk out of here and not look bacL Ever. It's the kids that bother me. Lately, more and more, I've been thinking about my mother and why she left me and my brothers. My father was a good man ... is a good man, but I don't know how it was between them. I saw him through a child's eyes, not a woman's eyes. To this day, he's never divorced her. I can't figure it out."

  "Then don't try. Of course I'll sign on. Just give me two days' notice. I like Simon. It's amazing how two brothers can be so totally different. God, I feel so .. .free. What shall we do?"

  "Let's go to the studio, and I'll make us some coffee. I'd really like to call Simon. I know it's wrong, but I can't get him out of my mind. Tell me about Admiral Kingsley. Everything."

  "As you know, he's Moss's best friend. He's my friend too. He's a kind, gentle man who cares about people. Moss calls him a Yankee cracker. He helped me a lot with my daughter Maggie when she got pregnant at the age of fourteen. Moss and Seth ... it was so awful. Thad found a place for unwed mothers and they took wonderful care of her during the whole time. He cared. Seth and Moss saw only the shame of it. She was so rebellious, all she wanted was attention from Moss, and he was too damn busy to give it to her. Seth wouldn't even look at her, that's how bad it was. If it wasn't for Thad, I don't know what I would have done. During that. .. that bad time, Thad and I. . . this sounds corny, but I like to think we had a meeting of our minds, kindred spirits, that kind of thing. I find myself attracted to him. When I see something or hear something, he's the one I want to share it with. I don't, because like you, I'm still married. I don't know, Fanny, if I will ever have the guts to leave Moss."

  "We've given them our youth, the best years of our life. If we don't do something soon we're going to be old women who sit on rocking chairs moaning and groaning on what might have been if we only had the courage to act on our feelings. We're cowards, Billie. I feel like such a failure. Simon says I'm not, but if that's true, why do I still feel like I am?"

  "Only in our choice of men," Billie snapped. "Do you really think I should go to New York?"

  "If it was me, I would. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Why don't you give some thought to moving out so he doesn't.. . you know."

  "I'm living in the cottage at the end of the property. It's big enough for Sawyer and me. I can work on my textile designs. Most times I don't even go to the house for meals. I fix something for us in the little kitchen. Seth almost went up in smoke when he saw me move my things down to the cottage. Riley actually cried. My mother didn't say anything, but I think she approved. Technically, I am livdng apart from Moss. They make a mockery of what I'm trying to do. They pretend to be indulgent. You know, the dumb little female who doesn't have anything to do so let her mess with her paints and swatches."

  "What have you done with the money you earned from Sunny's Togs?"

  "Gave it to Simon to invest at Sallie's direction. The account is very healthy. You should have seen Moss's face when he filed our income tax return. Thanks to you, Fanny, he knows I can leave him and not depend on him to support me. He did a lot of stuttering and sputtering. He even suggested I put his name on the account. He said accounts should always have two names, so I put Sawyer's name right next to mine. We even got her a social security number. Moss didn't like that at all. Something good has to come out of all of this, Fanny. To me, it's Sawyer. She's my last chance, Fanny. I won't fail where Sawyer is concerned. She's mine. Maggie didn't want her, my husband and father-in-law didn't want her. I'm all she has. Isn't she a pretty little girl, Fanny?"

  "As pretty as her grandmother," Fanny said sincerely. "I think your mother is coming around, Billie. She acted real . . . you know . . .human. She loves you a lot. I think she just has a hard time showing it."

  "She got sucked into the Coleman way of life. Most times I consider her one of Own. I'll never be one of them. If I ever get a divorce, I'm going to take back my maiden name. I don't know why women have to give up their name when they get married. It's not fair."

  "Tell me something in this life that's fair. Enough of that stuff. We came down here to the studio to do something . . . meaningful, so let's do it."

  "All right. I'll
call Thad. To tell him he was missed at the party.

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  I'll tell him about the baseball game. Just a short conversation. Nothing ... no hidden words, no nuances, nothing like that. Simply a straightforward conversation between two old friends. We are old friends, Fanny. When I talk to him I feel good for days."

  "You call him and I'll run into the house and bring down some food. Take your time and enjoy your call. I'll ring Ghue from the house to check on Sawyer."

  Forty-five minutes later Fanny walked into the studio. Billie was sitting in one of the red chairs, her feet propped on the round table, a beautiful smile on her face. "Your eyes are sparlding, Billie. You look . . . dreamy."

  "That's how I feel. When I told Thad about our baseball game he laughed so hard he couldn't get his breath. He asked about everyone. He's going to try and come for Thanksgiving. He said he might get transferred to someplace near Hong Kong. He offered to send me some silks. He's so incredibly thoughtful. It's what he didn't say that's more important. I... I told him I knew about Alice Forbes. He didn't admit it, but I think he knew. He's Moss's friend. No matter what he thinks or feels about me, he would never betray Moss. Never."

  "What if you were divorced?"

  "I don't know, Fanny. Okay, it's your turn. I'll go to the greenhouse and pick some flowers. We'll fill this place with all kinds of blossoms, light some candles this evening, have a little wine, and. .. and . . ."

  "Cry," Fanny said sofdy.

  "Yes. For all our lost years. Tell Simon I said hello."

  Fanny reached for her Betty Crocker cookbook. In the middle of the book was Simon's business card, the same card he'd printed his home phone number on. First she called the office and was told Simon was on vacation. She tried his home phone number and smiled from ear to ear when she heard his voice.

  "It's Fanny, Simon. I don't know why I'm calling you. For no reason really. I think I just wanted to ... to hear your voice. Everyone left, but Billie and Sawyer stayed on. Billie says hello. I don't suppose the twins called again?"

  "No. They're fine, Fanny. They were so excited they forgot I was there. They're rooming together, so that's good. How are things at Sunrise?"

  "The same. How are things in New York?"

  "The same. I could pack up and be there by tonight."

  "I know. You can't."

  "I know. We were just dreaming the other night, right?"

  "Yes. Billie invited us all for Thanksgiving. She asked me to extend the invitation. It's okay if you want to think about it. It's months away."

  "Tell her yes."

  "She wants to sign on for Someday. Is your crew full yet?"

  "I'm being selective. The line gets longer every day. I wish I had kissed you that night."

  Fanny's eyes started to water. "I wish you had too."

  "I don't feel like doing anything. I sit here and stare at the walls."

  '*You need to get a dog, Simon. They're always there for you, and they love unconditionally."

  "Are you trying to tell me something, Fanny?"

  "I'm not free, Simon. I shouldn't even be C2illing you. I don't know what possessed me to do this. It simply isn't right."

  "We could hang up."

  '*We could," Fanny agreed.

  "I miss you."

  Fanny drew a deep breath. She wanted to say she missed him too, had begun missing him the moment he drove the car down the mountain, wanted to tell him how she had to fight the urge to run after the car, not because her sons were inside, but because he was going away from her. "You need to get a dog, Simon." It was probably the stupidest thing she'd ever said in her life.

  "Okay, I'll get a dog. Male or female?"

  She W21S on safe ground here. A smile crept into her voice. "A female of course, males lift their legs. They're a tremendous responsibility. Maybe you should start off with a cat. They more or less take care of themselves if you provide a litter box."

  "If I get one, can I call you for instructions?"

  "I'll send you a book on pet care." No commitment there.

  "I'd like tfiat."

  Such an inane conversation. If it was so inane, why was her heart beating so fast?

  "I'll look for a good one the next time I'm in town."

  "Are things okay?"

  "Things are the same. Billie's great company, and Sawyer is adorable. Sunny and young Billie have packed and unpacked their trunks eighty-seven times in the past few days. They're actually ex-

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  cited that they're going to live at school in a real dormitory." I can't wait to see you.

  "Have you thought about me?" Simon asked.

  Every hour of every day. To lie or not to lie? "Yes," she said breathlessly. "I'm going to hang up now, Simon. This makes me very uncomfortable. I need to . . . to . .,"

  "When will I see you again?"

  When? "When I need you the most," Fanny whispered, breaking the connection.

  18

  When Fanny heard the crunch of gravel and the sound of the high-pitched engine, she knew Ash was on the property. She started to tremble and her mouth grew dry as she realized how alone she was with the children gone. Staring up at her was a note pinned to her drafting board, reminding her of her appointment with an attorney in town to discuss the divorce she intended to file within the week. An attorney Devin Rollins had recommended.

  Fanny slipped off her stool and went to the door. She didn't want Ash in this place that was hers, didn't want him touching her things, sitting in her chairs. He no longer belonged here. She walked outside into the October sunshine, the key to the studio secure in her pocket.

  It was amazing, Fanny thought, how Ash never seemed to change. He was still tall and slim, athletic, impeccably dressed even in the middle of the afternoon. His hair wasn't thinning the way most men's hair thinned at his age, he wasn't jowly, and there was no sign of a paunch. He still looked like the dashing young pilot she'd fallen in love with. God in heaven, where had that love gone?

  How ironic that the sun was shining, that the skies were a perfect blue, that the clouds were marshmallow white and the grass was still green. It was almost like some other being knew Ash was going to arrive and decided to take a brush and paint a perfect day. For the return of the wayward husband. Fanny shuddered. What did he want? She inhaled deeply, growing light-headed with the sweet scent

  of the sagebrush. Birds chittered in the cottonwoods as much as to say "Intruder, intruder in our midst."

  Fanny steeled herself for whatever was to come as she walked to the paved area near the garage. She gave no thought to her appearance, a sure sign that she no longer thought of Ash in any romantic way. She rolled up the sleeves of her smock, which was full of thread, paint smears, and safety pins. She wore no makeup, and her hair was pulled back and tied into a ponytail with bright yellow yam. She wore wool socks and fuzzy slippers because her feet were always cold. She thought suddenly about Simon; she always thought about him when she found herself stressed out or under pressure. "Ash, what brings you up the mountain on such a beautiful day?" That was polite, noncommittal, an I-don't-care-what-you're-doing-here statement.

  "I thought we might go pumpkin picking. It's only a few days till Halloween. I know how you love to decorate. You're having your usual party, aren't you?" Not how are you, I missed you, Fanny.

  "As a matter of fact. Ash, I'm not. The Primrose School is having a party and the girls aren't coming home this weekend. They've planned a hayride and a square dance. It's going to be a coed event with the young men from the Addison School."

  Ash's face grew thoughtful. "This will be the first year you've missed having a party."

  "It's no big deal. Ash. The children are grown now. Sunny will be going off to college next year. Billie isn't interested in parties, she never was. I think they all pretended Halloween was a big deal because they thought I liked it. In the scheme of things it really doesn't matter."

  "You sound so matter-of-fact. Doesn't anyt
hing bother you anymore? You don't even look like the same person." His voice sounded fi-etful and whiny. "I came to ask if you would be interested in attending my annual reunion with my old squadron this month."

  "No thank you. My calendar is booked with work."

  "Fanny, I want us to try again. Nobody knows better than me what a heel I've been. I want to put that all behind me. I want us to be a family again. I swear, Fanny, I won't let you down. That day when the boys drove off with Simon . . . left a mark on me. I've wanted to come up here so many times and tell you how and what I felt that day, but I didn't want you to . . . toss me out on my ear. I do have some pride."

  "What about my pride. Ash? Everyone in town knows your rep-

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  utation. How do you think I feel when I go to town and know people are looking at me with pity, asking what kind of woman I am who would stay with a man who betrays me? And what about the kids, they had to listen to the snickers and the sly looks?"

  "I know. I'm sorry. It's just a word as you've said many times. I've said some mean, rotten things, Fanny. I regret every single one of them. I wish I could take them back, but I can't. All I can do is start over if you'll give me a chance. I can still work at the ranch and come home every single night. I make it up here in forty-five minutes since they paved the road. Will you at least think about it? I'll come up next weekend and we can ... we can start to rebuild our lives."

  "I was forced to rebuild my own life. Ash. A long time ago."

  "You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Fanny. I was just too dumb and stupid to know it. I'm even going to go to a psychiatrist to talk things through. I need to resolve things about my mother and father. Fm trying. If it doesn't work, I'll try harder. Listen, I have to get back to the ranch. Dad has a bunch of young torn mriceys coming in late today, and I don't want to leave him to handle it by himself. Chickens are one thing, turkeys are something else entirely. Get a mental picture of three thousand turkeys in one place. They're a giveaway. Dad is going to give aU of them away for Thanksgiving. He amazes me the way he does things sometimes. By the way, am I included in the trip to Texas for Thanksgiving?"