When a Lawyer Falls in Love

by Amrita Suresh

  ‘Just like the grey cells in your head,’ his friend said, giggling.

  They had reached the canteen by then and Sonali selfconsciously, decided to walk into the place first. ‘Excuse me, didn’t know we had a race going to reach there first,’ Ankur protested, suddenly finding himself trailing.

  ‘Not that silly. Just that it’s best that a guy and a girl should avoid being seen together alone,’ said Sonali, making herself comfortable on the red plastic chairs. The rest of the gang was to join them shortly but Ankur was glad that he was getting to spend some time alone with Sonali before the crowd and the cacophony descended.

  ‘Girl?!! Where’s the girl?’ Ankur promptly asked,pretending to look around, but seeing her bored expression, quickly added, ‘Why did you say that; are you embarrassed to be seen with me?’ Ankur tried his best to keep his tone casual yet it somehow hurt him to think that Sonali would not like to be seen in his company.

  ‘It’s not that…just, you know how people are…the moment they see a guy and a girl hang out together alone, even if there is nothing, they start teasing,’ said Sonali, distractedly looking about.

  ‘Which women’s magazine do you subscribe to?’ Ankur asked suddenly, and before Sonali could put words to the quizzical expression in her eyes, he explained, ‘You ought to feature in the Agony Aunt column!’

  ‘I know,’ Sonali agreed. ‘Dealing with you is nothing short of agony!’ And then she asked abruptly, ‘Tell me, do you believe in re-birth?’

  Ankur knotted his eyebrows, amused. ‘Am I supposed to believe in it?’ he said, as he pondered over what could have triggered such a queer topic.

  ‘Well, I’ve undergone a past life regression therapy,’ Sonali said, a little dreamily. ‘We have actually known each other from a different incarnation.’

  ‘Possible,’ Ankur said, breaking into a nervous laugh. ‘Such idiocy can’t be collected in one lifetime.’

  Then clearing his throat, Ankur ventured to ask, ‘Okay so what was I in my previous birth?’

  Ankur purposely chose a jocular tone, except that he sounded more like he was enquiring about the evening show at the local theatre. After all, he expected that he would be told that he had been a playful raccoon or a baboon that fell out of a tree before its time.

  ‘I won’t tell you your past, but in the future, you’ll abandon law and set up a firm that will be a global brand some day. Even your astrological chart says so,’ Sonali said, looking into the distance. Ankur felt uneasy each time Sonali began to talk like this. Forget astrological charts, at times like this, Ankur wanted to see Sonali’s mental health chart.

  ‘Why do you make such a special effort to sound creepy when you are naturally scary?’ Ankur asked. ‘And how do you know all this—tarot cards are not part of our prescribed syllabus,’ Ankur said, the only one snickering at his own joke.

  ‘Meditate, and the answers shall come to you,’ said Sonali so softly, that Ankur felt he was sitting before an oracle. Ankur was convinced. When it came to Sonali, only superlatives applied. Everything about the girl was supernatural. If there was ever to be a theatre production of Macbeth, Sonali could effortlessly play the role of all three witches. Suddenly pointing to a thumb nail sized airplane in the sky, Ankur announced, ‘I think we ought to hide.’

  ‘Why?’asked Sonali, both puzzled and amused.

  ‘See, if the pilot in that plane looks out from his cock pit and sees just the two of us together…what will he think?’ Ankur completed with a laugh.

  Sonali sighed. And smiled.

  Six

  ‘I AM NOT FAT. Ankur, repeat after me,’ Sonali said, breaking into a giggle. ‘Positive affirmation Anks, yes you can do it.’ The pretty Gujarati girl was now laughing out loud. The young lawyers were sitting in class during the break with Ankur’s portly frame perched on the desk adjacent to Sonali.

  Ankur tried not to look amused. Yet his tubby paunch seemed to amuse Sonali.

  ‘Tell me, have you always been so idiotic? Or is it an acquired art?’ Ankur asked.

  ‘Actually it requires hours of practice,’ Sonali said, choking over a cough induced by too much laughing. ‘But now since I’m in your company, it comes naturally,’ she said, ready to be in splits all over again.

  ‘Listen lady, not so long ago, I was quite slim,’ Ankur protested, making Sonali laugh even harder.

  ‘Why is it that all fat people always claim to have been thin!’ said Sonali, giggling and wagging her little finger. Ankur was forced to smile.

  ‘I give up,’ he said, sighing and grinning simultaneously. Sonali was without a doubt in an unusually buoyant mood. And it was hopeless to argue with her. She kept chuckling to herself and giggling almost as though she had swallowed a laughing gas cylinder. It irritated Ankur, yet it was a lot better than seeing Sonali in one of her moods. And Ankur had definitely seen a lot of those moods of hers, from which he hadn’t known whether to run or hide!

  Quite recently, when Ankur had boarded a choked bus, Sonali, had quickly managed to elbow through the herd and create room for the two of them.

  An over enthusiastic Romeo tried keeping himself entertained by swaying too close to Sonali with every bump of the bus. If only he had known of the trouble that he was inviting upon himself! At one point, Ankur stepped up and was about to corner the fellow when Sonali signalled to him with her eyes to stop. Midway through the journey, the fiery female lawyer, having endured enough, decided to take matters into her own hands.

  Quite literally. Without any warning, she simply turned and landed a sharp slap onto the unsuspecting cheek of the startled fellow. The slap—crisp and loud—created enough commotion among the sardine-like packed passengers, and managed to bring the bus to a screeching halt.

  ‘Let’s go for a walk. You need some exercise,’ Ankur was suddenly shaken out of his thoughts by Sonali as she shook him. ‘Exercise!’ emphasised the pretty, self-declared fitness instructor, nudging him, and sauntering out of the class leisurely, as if a tourist on a sightseeing tour. Ankur hurried after her. They had hardly reached the road facing the ground floor classroom, when a cat darted across the road.

  ‘Ankur!’ Sonali shrieked, almost going into a spasm. ‘I want a kitten, I want a kitten!’

  It took a second for Ankur to register what was happening. Sonali specialised in this. She could flit from one topic to another and with such abruptness, that he was glad he didn’t suffer from any cardio-vascular diseases.

  ‘You want a kitten?’ asked Ankur incredulously. ‘What do I look like…a pregnant cat?’

  Sonali giggled. ‘The thing I like best about you is that you always make me laugh…especially when it comes to your intelligence,’ Sonali said, turning to look at her bespectacled male buddy.

  ‘But you seriously want a pet? You can adopt me instead,’ Ankur volunteered, grinning.

  ‘No thanks!’ Sonali said, turning down the gallant offer. ‘In fact now that you admit that you resemble a expectant cat, at least from certain angles, maybe I should drop you off at Blue Cross.’

  ‘Not fair! Here I’m talking of being your pet and you treat me like I’m a pest,’ Ankur said, almost whining.

  ‘Okay then you are my pet. But I’ll have to get you a doggy collar first,’ Sonali said playfully.

  ‘I don’t mind,’ replied Ankur, rather earnestly.

  Sonali was forced to smile. Almost slipping her arm through Ankur’s, the Leo lady casually asked, almost in a childlike voice, ’So does my Arien, the Ram, promise to be a little lamb and follow me forever and ever…?’

  Ankur turned to look sideways at his best friend, and answered, smiling broadly, ‘I do, I do, I do!’

  Seven

  Rohit Randhwah? The very name sounded like a slap. A fourth year student now, the new and improved version of a contact lens wearing Ankur, was sitting in the canteen with Vyas. The lanky Vyas who resembled the straw he was drinking from, had just informed his chubby roommate of the likelihood of a certain Ms Sonali Shah being i
n a steady relationship with one of the most disagreeable elements in class. Vyas was hardly the kind to be an agent in the transmission of the pollen grain of gossip, so Ankur was actually worried.

  ‘They did their internship together last summer. They’ve been seeing each other since,’ said Vyas, as he proceeded to make annoying, gurgling sounds with his straw and what was left of his drink. Ankur’s face contorted, bothwith the noise and the news. He suddenly wanted to reach out and tear all the tissue papers that stood in front of him, neatly arranged in a glass.

  ‘But how can you be so sure? I did my internship with Jaishree, but I’m not seeing her!’ blurted Ankur, ready to let lose the dam of his Arien temper on the hapless Vyas.

  ‘Listen, everybody in class knows. Everybody, except you, evidently!’ replied Vyas, who having just finished his drink, was ready to bite into a hot samosa.

  ‘What are you saying? We hardly see Rohit in class!’ shot back Ankur, visibly irritated.

  ‘That’s the point!’ Vyas replied calmly, ‘Sonali used to skip unimportant classes to do research; now she skips research to do unimportant work!’

  ‘Listen…are you like, really sure? I have to ask Sonali about this,’ said Ankur in a slightly desperate voice, his sense of reasoning returning.

  ‘What will you ask her?’ Vyas asked, noticing that Ankur had not touched his drink.

  ‘What you just told me,’ Ankur answered, making Vyas sit up.

  ‘Please don’t. I’ll be murdered right here, in this law college!’ pleaded the till-now unruffled Vyas.

  ‘I mean it’s true, right?’ asked Ankur, confused.

  ‘Yeah, but, Sonali may not like the fact that I told you about it,’ said Vyas hastily, putting the rest of the samosa in his mouth and wiping his greasy fingers on a paper napkin.

  It was a pleasant July evening, but the thoughts racing through Ankur’s head were far from pleasant. Just how did all this come about? Sonali was his best friend and if he could, he would even call her his girlfriend. Ankur had never been as close to any girl as he had been to Sonali.

  Ankur felt betrayed. Agreed, over the summer vacation he had been busy and had not been very much in touch with her. It was mandatory for the third year law students to spend their vacation swimming in dusty files as they tried to ingratiate themselves to over-worked lawyers, beneath whom they slogged. The stupid girl obviously hadn’t considered their cheerful banter last semester, a proposal. All playful interactions ought to be banned, Ankur thought darkly.

  ‘You really should have asked her out,’ counselled Vyas wisely, late as he usually did. The bird had already flown the coop. Ankur remained silent. This simply couldn’t be true. And if it was, he would rearrange Rohit’s face and step into Sonali’s life. Even Hindi movies allowed that!

  A group of pretty female juniors entered the cafeteria and one of them flashed a smile at Vyas who returned half a smile and politely averted his eyes. A girl should never smile at a guy, Vyas thought. The guy is left wondering whether the smile was actually directed at him or not. If yes, the male brain is left in a dilemma over whether it is safe to strike up a conversation after revealing his orthodontic wonders. But if the smile was not directed at him, the girl just might respond by striking something—his ego, if not his cheek.

  Yet, since Vyas already had a girlfriend, who would periodically emerge from a graveyard of all places, he found it safer to look at the crumbs of samosa in the now empty plate, than at the waxed legs of the girls who had come dressed casually in shorts. That was one advantage of living on campus. A guy just needed to tumble into the canteen at any hour to see the cutest and daintiest specimens of womankind.

  ‘So how is Caroline?’ asked Ankur finally, when he realised he had been silent for too long.

  ‘We’ll be celebrating our third anniversary soon,’ replied Vyas and then regretted saying it for he could not have chosen a worse moment to make the announcement.

  ‘I mean…we keep having these fights…and you know Caroline…,’ Vyas hastily made amends.

  Of course Ankur knew Caroline. The slender mobile pillar that had come climbing drain pipes and breaking into boys’ hostels. Thinking of her, Ankur was suddenly glad he was single. In fact the pity he was dousing himself with a minute ago, got transferred onto Vyas. They both had lost in love. Ankur had lost Sonali and Vyas had lost his head!

  Back in the hostel with his head resting on a comfortable, stuffed cotton pillow, Ankur stared at the ceiling. In the three years that he had known her, not once did Ankur imagine that Sonali would actually go ahead and see another guy. In the sense, she hardly looked the kind. Perhaps it was just a rumour that had blown around and lodged itself in Vyas’s head.

  Ankur had felt a surge of anger rise against his bamboo stick of a roommate, for even suggesting something like this. But then again, he knew Vyas. The guy was an idiot, no doubt, but not once had he ever character assassinated any one. There had to be some truth in what he had said.

  ‘How come Rohit Randhwah?’ thought Ankur. Even the male from a different species was preferable to the lazy backbencher, with his intimidating Punjabi swagger.

  Wasn’t it Sonali who’d suggested that Ankur should start wearing contact lenses? Perhaps he should contact her and ask if she needed his old spectacles. Even a person with double hypermetropia would know that Rohit Randhwah was to be avoided. But here was a girl with normal vision refusing to see sense.

  But then again, perhaps Rohit wasn’t such a bad guy after all, thought Ankur, as he tossed about uneasily on the rickety bed, in the stillness of the night.

  Eight

  ‘Sonali, I think we need to talk,’ said Ankur hurriedly, walking behind her. One thing was clear. Since the beginning of the year, Sonali had lost a lot of puppy fat and she looked smashing. Ankur never thought he would actually be alarmed by this.

  Sonali had barely managed to turn and look at him, when Rohit Randhwah materialised from nowhere.

  ‘Sonyi baby…we have a date, remember?’ said Rohit, winking at Sonali even as Ankur cringed. Without a doubt, Rohit seemed a little unhinged. Sonali flushed and giving Ankur a cursory smile, moved away. Ankur stood there baffled.

  The Sonali he knew, would have imprinted her footwear on the cheek of a man who dared to make such a suggestion. It was this that had acted as a major deterrent for Ankur himself. In fact it was precisely her leonine nature that made Ankur feel safe when she was around characters like Rohit. Yet now it seemed as though Rohit was playing a double role. He was a hero cum villain. Bollywood had yet to create a place for a personality like him.

  The next couple of weeks passed in a blur. In Ankur’s mind, he had lost a friend, his life, everything. The entity that answered his roll call every day in class was just a zombie who would collect his law degree after two painfully long years and then, simply vanish. Vanish at least from the horizon of Sonali Shah and into a world where nothing remotely Gujarati would ever touch him. In fact, Ankur was toying with the idea of giving up milk, since dairy farms were, after all, largely situated in Gujarat. Indeed, if idiocy was ever to be patented, Ankur would win the rights for it hands down!

  Meanwhile, Pavan Nair had problems of his own. Like not knowing which girl to eye at which time. He thought he had seen his soulmate, a beauty with large eyes fluttering for his arrival by the crowded water cooler, where she stood patiently waiting for her turn. Since Pavan had not seen her before, he presumed she was a new student. Hence he strode up to her gallantly and offered to fill her glass. Perhaps if it was a few millennia ago, she would have been standing with flowers in her hair and an earthen pot, coyly tucked beneath her arm, offering him water. But in a slight reversal of roles, Pavan heroically elbowed his way to the approving lady with a stained stainless steel glass, overflowing with water.

  Standing next to a water cooler, very close to a drainpipe, watching the pretty water guzzler before him, Pavan decided he had arrived at the most romantic spot ever. Since he had parted the Red Sea a
minute earlier with the precious glass, he had no intentions of parting with the pretty young lady now. The lady of course had other plans. She asked Pavan, in a voice laced with indulgence, the year that he belonged to. Pavan promptly launched into a monologue, convinced that the young lady was a fresher, desperately in need of being enlightened on the subject of college, the endurance-testing lecturers and the pathetic mess food.

  The young lady’s expressions oscillated from amusement to horror, the latter emotion however, soon transmitting to the suddenly startled Pavan, for standing before him was the newest faculty member of the department. A fact she made him aware of, after he had given her a lengthy biography of the ‘lullaby artists’ who taught their classes.

  Just why did water coolers exist? If only someone would dig a well, Pavan Nair would have gratefully jumped into it!