by Patti Larsen
Wicked.
My whole emotional state was up all day. I had gotten away with it, after all. See ya, bullies. So long, retribution. Ta-ta, torture. And now that I decided to stop fighting my mother... well, maybe things were looking up for good old Syd after all.
One could hope.
Things were going so well, I made a mental note to be assertive right from day one at my next school. I was never going through this again. I did feel a little pang of regret I snubbed the outcasts, though, but not enough to encourage them to give it another try. I avoided Simon’s eyes when we met in the hallway. I felt like a coward afterward.
It was for the best. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
Still, it seemed kind of weird after I thought about it for a while to be rejecting the first people who ever attempted to make friends with me at any school I had ever gone to.
Old habits, I guess.
When the last bell rang, I was still in a reasonably happy mood. So much in fact, I took my time at my locker instead of the typical hurried rush to escape the hell that had become my life. I hung back and waited for the people next to me to finish before trying to get in. It was a lot nicer that way, lots of room. I decided this would be my new end of day routine.
I closed the door and turned, barely keeping myself from running into Brad.
He held out both hands, a sweet smile on his face. We laughed.
“Nice save,” I said.
“You too,” he replied.
“Thought you were mad at me,” I leaned against my locker, feeling comfortable with him. Why had I ever felt intimidated? He was a guy. A really cute guy, but geez, he was just a person.
“Really?” He seemed surprised. “Wow, Syd. Sorry if you had that impression. And here I thought you were mad at me.”
“For what?” I asked.
“Not defending you,” he said. He blushed.
Oh yeah, right. His smart-ass friends and their dirty mouths. Funny, it didn’t seem so important anymore.
“It’s okay,” I said, just relieved we were cool.
“I was so angry with Alison,” he told me. “I found out what she did to you. Because of me. I’m really sorry, Syd.”
“Is she okay?” I asked him. “She wasn’t in school Wednesday or yesterday.” I saw her earlier, though, but she refused to make eye contact and hurried past me in the hall.
“Yeah,” he said. “I think she got a, what do you call that, a rude awakening.” He grinned at me. “There are a lot of rumors going around about you, Syd, not like I listen or anything.” He ran one hand through his glossy hair and I was lost. Okay, hormones still in existence. “I don’t know what you said to her that day, but she’s been different ever since. Nice to people, you know? Whatever it was, thanks. You’ve made everyone’s lives a lot easier.”
I smiled back, feeling better about the whole thing. I did something right, I guess.
“I’m glad she’s okay,” I said.
“So, I was wondering, maybe we could, you know, go out sometime?” He seemed nervous. I wanted to laugh. Brad Peters was nervous asking me out. Would wonders never cease?
“I’d like that,” I answered.
“Great!” He seemed relieved. He paused and looked at me funny. “You’re different, too, aren’t you? Something’s changed.”
“Stopped trying to be someone I’m not,” I told him. “Does wonders.”
“I guess,” he said. “So, how about Sunday night? At Johnny’s? Six? Or would you rather go to a movie?” He seemed eager to make sure I approved of his plans.
“Johnny’s is fine,” I said. “Six on Sunday. I’ll see you then.”
“Okay,” he said. “See you, Syd.”
Brad started away backwards, waving. He almost tripped and grinned at me before turning around and walking off.
Wow. How cool was that?
I pushed away from my locker, not even trying to stop smiling. I was still smiling, in fact, when I left school and continued to grin like an idiot all the way home.
Not even the smugly smirking Quaid Moromond, watching me from his usual lurk in the halls, could kill my mood.
I arrived at the end of my driveway to find Alison Morgan sitting on my porch. Instant smile killer.
I stared, not caring that I stared. I glanced around but she was alone. I approached. As I came closer, she stood up.
“Hi, Syd,” she said.
“Hi,” I said.
“Can I talk to you?” She hugged herself. She seemed a lot smaller than I remembered. Tiny really, petite. Why had I been so afraid of her?
“Sure,” I said. “Want a cookie?”
She seemed startled. “Thanks.”
I walked into the kitchen with her following behind me, wondering if it was okay to turn my back on her or if this was just an act. Nothing sharp landed between my shoulder blades while I fetched the cookie can and two glasses from the cupboard, so I figured I was safe enough. I grabbed the milk from the fridge and sat, popping open the carton before pouring.
Alison dropped into the chair next to me. She took a cookie from the tin. She turned it over and over in her hand for so long it went way past uncomfortable into wretched.
“How did you know?” She blurted. I almost choked on my milk and had to struggle not to cough.
“About what?” I asked when I was able.
“About me,” she whispered.
I was still in the dark. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You offered to talk to me about it,” she said. Her voice was so strained I could feel the pain in it.
Okay, this I hadn’t been expecting.
“Um, all right,” I said.
Alison set the untouched cookie on the table and folded her hands in her lap. Her fingers fidgeted together as she spoke.
“You’re right about me,” she said. “That I treat people the way I do because of what my life is like. I’m sorry, by the way,” she tried an apologetic look. “Really. I was so mean to you. I’ve been so mean to everyone, I’m surprised any of them will even talk to me.”
Either she was a really great actress, I mean Oscar worthy, or she was seeing the error of her nasty ways and I brought it on. Despite the fact she was my mortal enemy only moments before, at least in my eyes, the new trust I was working on stretched out and enveloped Alison as well.
“Apology accepted,” I said.
She almost beamed at me.
“Thanks, Syd,” she said, and it seemed like she meant it.
“So, what was it?” I asked. Now that the danger was really past, I couldn't help being curious.
“That made me a bitch?” She laughed with a bitter tone hard to miss.
“Sorry,” I said. She shook her head.
“It’s okay,” she tossed her perfect blonde hair back from her beautiful face. “I know it. Knew it when I was doing it. It seemed... like the only thing I did well, you know?”
“I doubt that’s true,” I said. “Not often a junior gets elected head of the cheer squad over a senior.”
“Only if you humiliate the rest of them into giving you what you want,” she said, wincing a little.
“Guess that would do it,” I answered.
We both laughed.
“Sometimes I worry... if I don’t make people like me...”
“They won’t like you at all,” I finished for her.
“Yeah,” she whispered. A tear traced down her cheek. She wiped at it. I didn’t say anything. “I guess I always made people be my friend instead of trying to just be me and see if they wanted to.”
“It’s never too late,” I said.
Her laugh was harsh. “Yeah, right. Like anyone is going to want to hang out with me anymore. They asked me to leave the cheer squad.”
Ouch. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” she lifted her chin. “My mom was pretty mad, but only because no daughter of hers can ever be unpopular. My dad patted my head on his way out to another meeting.”
“Tell me about it.” She toyed with the cookie on the table.
“They have this big plan for us from, like, birth,” I said, “and if we show even one little bit of individuality, they freak and push harder.”
“I didn’t know you were living with my parents,” she laughed.
“Oh, you have no idea what I live with,” I rolled my eyes.
“So how do you do it?” She stared at me now with expectation. I don’t know if she sought ‘The Answer’ or an answer. I felt responsible, but also really proud of her.
“Honestly,” I said, “if it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t have found out how to stop being a sheep. So I should be thanking you.”
She made a face. “Come on, Syd,” she said. “I tortured you and made the whole school torture you too.”
“And pushed me into standing up for myself instead of just taking it like I used to.” I meant what I said. Because of Alison Morgan, I started to pull my life together and find out who I really was. And like myself, for a change.
“You’re welcome,” she grinned, dimples flashing.
“So now what?” I asked her.
“I don’t know,” Alison admitted. “I don’t even know how to act anymore. I’m feeling a little lost, here. But I have to tell you, for some reason I feel a whole lot better now that I’m not juggling a bunch of people all the time. Weird, I thought being alone would be scary, but it’s okay.”
She seemed so lost, so fragile and delicate. I reached out to her out of pure empathy.
“I’m a little low on friends myself, lately,” I said.
Hope lit her eyes. “Seriously? You would be my friend after everything I did?”
I shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen? I figure it only gets better from here. Besides, if you ever backslide, at least I know I can kick your butt.”
She laughed and I laughed with her.
“I’ll consider myself warned. Syd,” she said. “About Brad...”
“He asked me out, Alison.” I wanted to be up front.
She seemed relieved and let out a long breath. “Good.”
“You’re not mad?”
She shook her head. “Are you kidding? I’ve known Brad since kindergarten. He’s more like a brother to me than anything. It was my mother’s idea that I date him. Captain of the football team and all that. He’s a great guy, Syd,” she said. “Don’t break his heart, okay?”
“Okay,” I said.
Mom chose exactly then to enter the kitchen.
“Syd, honey,” she set one hand on my shoulder, smiling at Alison. “Who’s your friend?”
As I introduced them I realized Mom eavesdropped on our conversation. She knew exactly who Alison was. Or rather, had been.
“Nice to meet you, Ms. Hayle,” Alison’s cheeks flushed rosy. I figured she knew Mom was in on the whole mess and didn’t blame her for blushing. “I have to go, Syd.”
“Please, don’t run on my behalf,” Mom said.
Alison’s blush faded as she smiled, the warmth of it lighting her eyes. She could be quite sweet when she wasn’t being nasty.
“My mother is expecting me, ma’am,” she said. “But maybe I could come back? To study sometime?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Alison was at the door when she turned back.
“Thanks, Syd,” she said. “See ya.”
I turned to my mother as Alison disappeared through the back door. I was met with a huge hug.
“That was a wonderful thing you did for that young woman,” Mom said.
Maybe. But I had the feeling I did a great thing for myself, too.
Alison Morgan was going to be my friend. Imagine that.
***
Chapter Twenty
This was fantastic. All of a sudden I actually had a friend. Me. Or, at least, the beginnings of one. Things were definitely looking up. I practically bounded up the stairs to my room, almost knocking over my sister on the top step.
When she saw me grinning, she smiled back. I hugged her impulsively, my good mood just too much to keep to myself.
Naturally, Meira took full advantage.
“I love you, Syd.” She beamed up at me, amber eyes glowing.
“I love you too, Meems.”
“No, I really love you.” She clasped her little hands in front of her chest and spun in a circle. “Really, really.”
How obvious was she? It made me laugh.
“Okay,” I said, “what do you want?
“Ice cream!” She bounced on her toes, clapping and giggling.
I hesitated one moment before remembering the coast was clear. Since I didn’t have to worry about being picked on anymore, the prospect of visiting the local hangout didn’t seem so daunting.
Inside of ten minutes, I settled into a booth across from her while she shivered in delighted anticipation.
“I want every flavor,” she said.
Mom would kill me if I brought her home hyped up on sugar, but for some reason her little demon body loved ice cream and I hated to say no. So, I waffled. “We’ll see.”
As we perused our menu and Meira drooled over her choices, I glanced around, surprised at how many of my classmates went to Johnny’s. I suppose I shouldn’t have been, especially since it was one of the only places to grab a burger in town. No brand names for Wilding Springs. Johnny’s felt like an old-fashioned fifties place with red vinyl and chrome everywhere, down to the fully functional jukebox in the back of the dining room.
Meira finally settled on chocolate, vanilla and bubble gum while I rolled my eyes at her and ordered a hot fudge sundae. The cute twenty-something waitress in her checkered gingham poodle skirt winked at my sister and went off to fetch our order while we settled back to watch the world walk by our window.
As we did, I noticed a familiar face. With some surprise, I watched as Page left her table and came over. She made her way home to the ‘in’ crowd, it seemed. She already had her cheer uniform back on.
She smiled at me, even shared it with Meira.
“Syd,” she said, “you’ll never guess what?”
“You’re back in,” I said.
“Thanks to you.” She was almost beside herself with delight. “Now that Alison is out, they let me back on the squad. Isn’t that great?”
I tried to be happy for her. “Sure, Page. How’s Simon?”
Her face crumbled a bit before her perfect mask came back.
“They’ll be fine without me,” she said. “Besides, I’m on cheer squad again! It’s so worth it.”
I tried not to think about Page selling her soul for a set of pompoms and gave her the benefit of the doubt. After all, without Alison leading the pack, maybe things really had changed.
“Anyway,” she made a face, “I didn’t mean to bother you this long. I wanted to say thanks and give you this.” She handed me a black and orange card with a pumpkin on it. “It’s an invitation. To a Halloween party. You’re invited.”
She said it like I was special. Whoopee.
“Thanks, Page,” I said.
“You have to come,” she gushed. “Everyone will be there. Even Brad.” She said his name like it was a fishing lure.
Okay, so I took the bait.
“Really?” I said. “When is it?”
“Tomorrow night,” she said. “I know, I know, short notice. Sorry. Oh, and costumes only, so come as your favorite... whatever!”
This Page was so different from the one I first met. The old Page lurked dark and bitter. This one was so perky I felt overwhelmed.
“Okay, thanks,” I said.
“It’s at Suzanne’s house, seven o’clock, don’t be late. Gotta go, bye, Syd!”
Page practically skipped away. I glanced at the invitation and over at the table. Suzanne smiled at me, pleasant enough. Maybe I scared her into being nice. A costume party, though... I hadn’t dressed up for Halloween for years for obvious reasons. When you liv
ed Halloween, who needed to pretend? Still, the chance to see Brad outside of school a whole day before our planned date was almost too much to pass up.
The girls rose and left as a pack, Page waving at me as they exited en masse. I waved back. How surreal. I continued to watch them as they crossed the street. When they passed the stop sign, I saw the dog sitting there, watching me
“What the…” I breathed, frowning.
“Syd,” Meira said around her hot fudge sundae.
“Yeah, Meems,” I said, still distracted by the sight of the black dog. What was he doing here? What did he want from me? I briefly considered reaching out to him but knew it wasn’t in the rules. Still, he was just a dog, wasn’t he?
“Are you going to go?” Meira licked some excess chocolate from her spoon, eyes curious.
“Go where, Meems?” I turned away from the dog, confused and disoriented. I needed to tell his owners it wasn’t safe to let him run around like that.
She rolled her eyes. “The par-tay.” She spun the word out like the point of her ice cream.
Right. I examined the invitation in my hand.
“I haven’t decided,” I answered. “It’s a costume party.”
Her little cheeks turned pink from the cold ice cream. “I love costume parties. Can I come?”
I grinned at her. “Sorry, big kids only.” I glanced out the window. The dog was gone. Somehow, though, I wasn’t feeling any better about it.
Meira made a face, her cheeks getting redder. I stuffed the invitation in my front pocket as I watched her, concern growing to fear.
“No fair,” she said, blue eyes flashing amber. “You always get to have more fun than me.”
I leaned forward and gripped her hand as two tiny horns peeked out of her black curls. Her skin reverted to her natural red hue.
“Meira,” I hissed at her. “Your disguise.”
She looked up at me, confused, and down at her hands. She let out a little shriek, her face screwing up in despair. I glanced around. No one noticed yet. There was still time for Meira to get herself under control.
No such luck.
“Syd!” She said. “It won’t come back!”
