Dear Aaron

by Mariana Zapata

  RubyMars: You tell me and I’ll do it.

  RubyMars: No one will ever know it was me.

  RubyMars: Strangers on a train, Ruby and Aaron style.

  RubyMars: Are you there?

  AHall80: Yeah, I’m here

  AHall80: Just busy

  AHall80: Shaking my head

  AHall80: How you can make me laugh even when I want to kill someone is beyond me

  AHall80: Thank you

  RubyMars: :) I wasn’t trying to make light of the situation, just offering up my limited skill set for revenge since it couldn’t come back to me.

  AHall80: I know you weren’t, Rubes, but thank you

  AHall80: For real

  AHall80: “limited skill set”

  RubyMars: :)

  RubyMars: I stole part of it from a movie I watched a few months ago.

  RubyMars: Joking aside, is there anything I can do? I really will booby trap an airbag. You can look up a video on how to do anything nowadays. I’ll do it for you. Because if that was Jazz, I’d kill someone.

  AHall80: Thanks, but I already feel better. I don’t need you getting into trouble for me.

  RubyMars: I wouldn’t get in trouble because no one would find out.

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: I really am sorry, stalker. Between my brothers, my sisters, and me, I’m confident we can do just about anything. You don’t mess with someone’s family. They’d help.

  AHall80: :] I’ll tell you if I think of anything.

  RubyMars: Don’t forget I took aikido for a while.

  RubyMars: I said that to make you laugh.

  AHall80: You did.

  AHall80: I need to go, but I’ll msg you soon.

  AHall80: Thanks, Rubes

  RubyMars: You’re welcome.

  RubyMars: You’re a good brother for being upset.

  AHall80: I could be a better one.

  AHall80: :] bye

  RubyMars: Bye

  April 11, 2009

  AHall80: Hey

  RubyMars: Hey.

  AHall80: We had another blackout.

  RubyMars: I figured. You okay?

  AHall80: Tired and the days are too long

  RubyMars: Just think, in four weeks you’ll be touring Scotland and it’s going to be great. In five weeks, you’ll be lying out on a beach somewhere.

  AHall80: That’s why my days are seeming longer I bet

  AHall80: I’m ready to get the hell out of here. I keep thinking about that. I try not to because you never know what’ll happen in an hour, but it’s the only thing getting me through the days.

  RubyMars: I get it.

  RubyMars: Want a distraction?

  AHall80: Yes

  RubyMars: I got asked out on a date.

  AHall80: With the 21-year-old?

  RubyMars: No, with my brother’s friend.

  AHall80: ….

  AHall80: The one who led you on?

  RubyMars: No. Not that one. My marine brother’s friend. My brother suggested it.

  AHall80: Your brother was okay with it?

  RubyMars: Yeah. I’ve known that guy for a while. They were roommates before he moved in with his boyfriend. He’s nice.

  AHall80: You said the other guy was nice

  RubyMars: I think you’re nice, too.

  AHall80: You know what I mean

  RubyMars: I do. But this guy really is nice. Like you. He was always pretty sweet to me but never said or did anything about it. I was over at my brother’s place for his boyfriend’s birthday and that guy asked me out.

  RubyMars: He’s really hot and that makes me nervous, but if I wait around to meet someone who doesn’t make me feel awkward, I’m going to be in adult diapers.

  RubyMars: I don’t know why I told you he’s hot. I’m sorry. Like you care or want to hear that.

  AHall80: You can tell me whatever

  AHall80: Where’s he taking you?

  RubyMars: I don’t know. He said he’d call me on Thursday so we can go out Friday.

  AHall80: Why is he waiting to call you all week?

  RubyMars: ….

  RubyMars: He’s going on dates with other people, isn’t he?

  AHall80: I don’t know, but…

  RubyMars: It’s fine. I don’t have any expectations. It’s not like I’m in love with him or anything. I’m just trying to get out there and get some experience.

  AHall80: I shouldn’t have said that, Ruby. I’m sorry. Maybe he’s busy.

  RubyMars: Maybe.

  AHall80: Look, I got to go, but I’m sorry for saying that.

  RubyMars: You didn’t do anything. It’s okay. Be safe.

  April 18, 2009

  AHall80: Hey

  RubyMars: Hey stalker.

  AHall80: How was your date?

  RubyMars: Awful.

  AHall80: Awful how?

  AHall80: Did he do something?

  RubyMars: No. He brought up the other guy.

  AHall80: The one who led you on?

  RubyMars: Yes. We were in the middle of eating at this place that was way too fancy and made me uncomfortable when he said, “I was waiting to ask you out.” No biggie, right? I said, “Really?” He goes, “Yes. I wanted to give you some time to get over Hunter.”

  RubyMars: I wanted to throw up, Aaron. I lost my appetite, and I don’t ever lose my appetite unless I’m dying from pneumonia.

  AHall80: Hunter is the guy?

  RubyMars: Yes.

  AHall80: Shit

  RubyMars: Yeah. My thoughts exactly.

  RubyMars: Everyone knew! Everyone!

  RubyMars: It was one thing to know my family was aware of it, but for my brother’s friends to know too… I’m such an idiot. I could tell he knew I wanted to throw up because he immediately started backpedaling. I told him it was fine, but I wasn’t fine. I was mad at myself.

  RubyMars: I’m so stupid.

  AHall80: You didn’t do anything wrong.

  RubyMars: I did. I could’ve handled that different. I could’ve gotten over him years ago and moved on with my life, but no… not me.

  RubyMars: I’m an idiot.

  AHall80: You’re not an idiot

  AHall80: Everyone has liked someone who didn’t like them back at some point, Ruby.

  AHall80: You know that. Everybody.

  RubyMars: But not for years like a complete moron.

  RubyMars: I…

  RubyMars: UGH

  RubyMars: Here was this guy who liked me and I had no idea because I’d been goo goo gaa gaa for someone who wasn’t interested in me for half my life like a jackass.

  AHall80: You’re not a jackass.

  AHall80: You like this guy?

  RubyMars: I wouldn’t say I “like” him. I’ve never really thought about it much. He’s nice and he’s not hard to look at.

  RubyMars: I tried not to act different the rest of the date, but I know he could tell I was pissed off and embarrassed.

  AHall80: You didn’t do anything wrong, remember that.

  RubyMars: I’ll try…

  RubyMars: Still. Did everyone in the entire world know I was hung up on him? I wanted to crawl into a hole of pathetic and never come out.

  AHall80: You aren’t pathetic.

  AHall80: You’re over him now and you can move on, right?

  RubyMars: Right.

  AHall80: Chill.

  RubyMars: Easier said than done. I never really thought I was this prideful, but I guess I am.

  AHall80: You’re good. It’s one guy.

  AHall80: Relax

  RubyMars: Fine.

  AHall80: I thought your sister was the sore loser in the family?

  RubyMars: Har har har

  RubyMars: I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

  RubyMars: Anyway, how are you?

  AHall80: Fine

  AHall80: I’m dropping it too

  AHall80: The stress is high. Everyone’s itching to get out of here. Same old shit.

  RubyM
ars: :)

  RubyMars: That’s better than crazy stuff happening, right?

  AHall80: Yes and no.

  AHall80: I don’t need to be complaining.

  RubyMars: I’ll change the subject.

  RubyMars: Have you heard anything else about your sister and that piece of crap?

  AHall80: My dad e-mailed me and said Paige is fine and acting more like herself than she had been. He said he hadn’t noticed she’d been acting strange until now that she’s not.

  AHall80: Knowing my dad, he feels like he failed her, but he won’t say anything about it.

  RubyMars: I’m sorry, Aaron.

  RubyMars: If there’s something I can do or say, tell me.

  AHall80: I will.

  AHall80: Tell me something

  AHall80: Anything

  RubyMars: That’s not broad. :)

  RubyMars: I gave my sister her dress.

  AHall80: Send a picture.

  AHall80: What’d she say or do?

  RubyMars: I took it to her room when we were home alone and gave it to her. She stared at it for a long time, and I really thought she was going to cry, but then she hugged me and told me thank you.

  RubyMars: Today I walked by her room and found her sitting on the edge of her bed, kind of staring off into space. Hopefully she’s thinking about going to skate, but who knows.

  RubyMars: I’ll send you a picture right now. I think it’s my best one yet.

  RubyMars: But…

  RubyMars: I don’t know if she’ll actually fit into it if she tries putting it on. I used her measurements from when she was training regularly.

  AHall80: Maybe it’ll motivate her to get back into it.

  AHall80: Wow. I just opened the attachment. Did you do a rainbow pattern?

  RubyMars: Yes :). I thought about doing more of a red theme, like a phoenix coming back from its ashes, but the rainbow just popped out at me. It’s not as depressing either. She lost, she didn’t die. I wanted it to look like she was rising up, or evolving. Like it’s more about living your life than death.

  RubyMars: I don’t know if that makes sense, but… maybe I overthought it.

  AHall80: I get it. A phoenix is more about the rebirth. You were thinking more of the life afterward.

  RubyMars: Yes! Exactly!

  AHall80: I can see the little wing-like things you did. Wow. Really, Ruby. Wow.

  AHall80: If she doesn’t wear that, you should give it to someone who will. That doesn’t deserve to go into a closet.

  RubyMars: Thank you.

  AHall80: Have you heard from that guy?

  RubyMars: Which one?

  RubyMars: ^^ the first and only time I’ve ever sounded like a player.

  AHall80: The younger one

  RubyMars: He sent me a message a few weeks ago, but I’d already kind of snuck in that I didn’t want to waste his time anymore.

  AHall80: Good girl

  RubyMars: :)

  AHall80: I need to go. I’ll msg you soon.

  RubyMars: Okay. Bye bye. Be safe.

  AHall80: You too, RC.

  April 21, 2009

  AHall80: Tell me something good that happened to you.

  RubyMars: Hello to you.

  RubyMars: I quit my job today.

  AHall80: ….

  AHall80: For real?

  RubyMars: For real.

  AHall80: What happened?

  RubyMars: I snapped. I went into the shop to talk to my aunt about a change she wanted to make to a dress, and she started saying some really mean things to me…. I stood there wanting to cry. I didn’t, which I deserve an award for, but I wanted to. Then she said something about how she could find someone as good as me for less money and it got me thinking about you, and I just told her I quit.

  AHall80: What did she say?

  RubyMars: She said I was lucky I was related to her or she would’ve fired me a long time ago, how my work was substandard, that my family had babied me for too long, and that I wasn’t sixteen anymore and I needed to grow up… just a bunch of crap.

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: No one has ever talked to me like that before. It really hurt my feelings.

  RubyMars: I probably sound like a baby saying that, but who cares. I don’t want to lie to you and make it seem like I laughed in her face or anything. I wish I would have.

  AHall80: You don’t sound like a baby, Rubes. Your aunt sounds like a witch, and I don’t mean that with a W. She sounds like an unhappy person.

  RubyMars: She is mean and unhappy. Her husband cheats on her all the time. I feel bad for her, but I don’t get why she takes it out on me and everyone else.

  AHall80: Cheating on her or not, that pisses me off.

  AHall80: A lot

  AHall80: You quit for sure?

  RubyMars: Yeah. My hands started getting sweaty and I wanted to throw up and my heart started beating really fast, but I quit. That’s how I told her, “I quit.”

  RubyMars: Part of me regrets not making more of a spectacle of it. Like flicking her off or saying something really good like “You’ll never find someone better than me” or “You’ll regret this” or shoving a mannequin over when I walked out.

  RubyMars: Oh well.

  RubyMars: I’m trying to make a joke about this so I don’t throw up.

  RubyMars: It’s not helping that much.

  AHall80: Oh Ruby.

  AHall80: I’m laughing at you and I feel for you at the same time.

  AHall80: Don’t throw up.

  RubyMars: I don’t have a job anymore, Aaron.

  AHall80: You have a job. Your stuff you do on your own.

  AHall80: You had to quit. You know that.

  RubyMars: I know.

  AHall80: You couldn’t work there forever. You didn’t even like making those dresses, did you?

  RubyMars: No…

  AHall80: And she paid you shitty, didn’t she?

  RubyMars: Yes…

  AHall80: Then what’s the problem?

  RubyMars: I’m just scared. I’ve never not had a job, and now in less than two months, I’ve lost both of them.

  RubyMars: I’m going to throw up. I really am.

  AHall80: You’re not going to throw up.

  AHall80: Breathe.

  AHall80: You’ve got it. You’re going to be fine.

  AHall80: I got to say I’m really damn proud of you for quitting.

  RubyMars: :)

  RubyMars: Now you make me want to cry in a different way.

  RubyMars: Thank you for saying that.

  AHall80: It isn’t like I’m not telling you the truth.

  AHall80: I’m sure it’s scary as hell to quit.

  RubyMars: It really is.

  RubyMars: I think I might have to go break into #4’s liquor stash to calm down. My heart is still racing.

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: Not like that. It isn’t palpitations.

  AHall80: You sure?

  AHall80: Be serious.

  RubyMars: I’m sure. I’m sorry for saying it like that. Don’t worry. I’m okay.

  AHall80: ….

  RubyMars: Really.

  AHall80: I need to go, but I’m real proud of you, Ruby. Don’t be scared. You did the right thing. You’ll figure everything out. Maybe it’s time you focused on doing your own thing full time.

  RubyMars: Maybe. :)

  AHall80: Don’t go running out getting the first job that pops up either if you freak out more later.

  RubyMars: It scares me how well you’ve gotten to know me.

  AHall80: Heh

  AHall80: I gotta go. You’ll be good.

  AHall80: Talk soon. Bye.

  RubyMars: Bye you.

  April 23, 2009

  AHall80: So?

  RubyMars: You’re getting straight to the point lately.

  RubyMars: I want to ask what, but I know what you’re asking already.

  AHall80: ?

  RubyMars: I haven’t gotten another jo
b.

  AHall80: Good.

  RubyMars: :)

  RubyMars: I told my mom what happened and she lost it. I haven’t seen her face get that red since she ripped her pants getting out of the car.

  RubyMars: She grabbed the phone, ready to call my aunt and rip her one for the ages, but I stopped her. I told her to let it go and that I’d handled it. She looked so impressed. She hugged me.

  AHall80: She should. I don’t know anybody that’s quit their job just like that.

  RubyMars: ….

  RubyMars: You haven’t?

  AHall80: No. Who quits their job without having another one lined up?

  RubyMars: You’re not joking.

  AHall80: I’m not joking.

  AHall80: :] You did the right thing.

  RubyMars: I’m going to pretend you didn’t just tell me that, but thank you again.

  RubyMars: All I knew was that I didn’t want to keep getting chewed out. I was tired of my stomach hurting every time she would call or text me.

  AHall80: You’ve got this.

  RubyMars: I’ve got this.

  RubyMars: Maybe if I say it enough I’ll start believing it.

  AHall80: Lol

  AHall80: You’ve got this.

  RubyMars: :)

  RubyMars: How are things over there?

  AHall80: Fine. We got Ax’s paperwork together. I already know who I’m leaving things with. My bag is packed. I’m ready to go.

  RubyMars: I’m so happy for you.

  AHall80: Me too. Ready to go to Scotland too. Max sent me some itinerary stuff through the mail I’ve been looking through.

  RubyMars: What’s on the list?

  AHall80: Edinburgh, some small towns, a castle, three days in Skye.

  RubyMars: What’s Skye?

  AHall80: An island. Look it up right now. They film movies there.

  RubyMars: Okay hold on.

  AHall80: Are you looking?

  RubyMars: I shouldn’t have looked. I’m so jealous it’s a sin. Now I need to get a job so I can save money to go one day.

  AHall80: I can find out if there’s room for you to come.

  RubyMars: No money, remember?

  RubyMars: :) Thanks anyway. I’ll make it someday.

  AHall80: I’m sorry, Ruby.

  RubyMars: For what? You deserve a vacation. I don’t want to take the excitement away from you.

  AHall80: You’re not. I know you didn’t mean it that way.

  AHall80: I just remembered you were supposed to go see your dad this month.

  RubyMars: Something came up with his stepkids. The good thing is the gift card he gave me is enough to cover a round trip ticket, so I can go whenever. Maybe July.