The Porter

by Ashley Dotson

  “There is an easier way. Look,” he pointed to something behind me. It was the tree. The flames had reached its branches. The oak swayed, weighed down by fire, trying to shake free of its grasp.

  I had purposefully ignited a tree in Providence once. It felt so good, not like it did during the lifeless dream realm. Orrin had been there to help me control it and bring the fire back within me. He helped me remember who I was. People had been in danger, and with my daemon in control of my actions his presence reminded me of who I was, and that unleashing pain and destruction is exactly what Lillith wanted. She wanted me wild and uninhibited, my daemon loose and bound to her forever. But there was no hedonistic pleasure as I watched this tall tree burn.

  “No,” I whispered staring at the sight before me. “This isn’t real,” I said, hoping to wake up lying next to Heath in his bed. I searched the grass, but Heath was gone. Where he stood only moments ago was a hot wall of flames. I tried to close my eyes and wish it away, but it was still happening. I was being watched by Lillith and Orias, both waiting for me to make a decision that would affect us all.

  “You know what to do,” Orias words sounded like a command, “This fire,” he gestured around us, “is Lillith’s. She brought it to life using her powers, but it could be yours to take and command. Kill it now.”

  I looked at the tree. It had been growing in this field long before now, generations had passed and it was still there enduring. It was dying before my own eyes- all because of Lillith.

  This was my dream- not hers. Was Orias correct? Was he telling me the truth? I didn’t create the fire, but could I control it? There was only one way to be sure.

  I closed my eyes feeling the flames around me dimming. My insides churned as I was filled with a new power- Lillith’s power, taken from the fire she created. It was stronger than mine and difficult to handle. But it was power nonetheless, that she released and I could steal.

  I didn’t like it- at first. It made me feel tainted. My daemon loved it, feeling stronger, darker, and thirstier than ever. I brought an evil into me that felt like a cancer ravaging my soul. The pain and pleasure melded leaving only a revolting shiver of ecstasy.

  The fire was banked quickly, and the tree was nothing but a tall black stump, and the field around us reduced to steaming charred dirt. It hurt to look at it and know I had felt such joy as the fire danced around me moments before.

  Mentally exhausted, and disgusted with myself, I thought I was done, but Orias continued, “There is more, child. There are life forces around you as well. Take them into you. Pull the life from them and make yourself stronger- invincible.”

  I understood- life forces. The grass, the birds, the animals- every creature. I could pull their life forces into me and become stronger. I was weakened, but more killing, more destruction wasn’t the answer.

  “No.” I wouldn’t do it. I didn’t even want to find out if I could do it.

  Lillith moved like a ghost. Heath was in there again, in her arms. She used her nails slicing Heath’s neck. I watched the blood pour out. She viciously licked the side of his neck.

  “You can save my son! Save yourself! Put an end to her!” He pointed to Lillth across the field.

  “Life forces?” I asked again.

  He nodded, “You can use their lives. Take their power and use it against your enemies.”

  I cocked my head, unsure, worried about his meaning and twisted intentions. Orrin told me I couldn’t trust a daemon, even Orias. I knew what he meant. No matter the situations, there was always a hidden purpose.

  “You mean use it against your enemies, right? You want me to kill her so you don’t have to.”

  Orias wanted me to kill Lillith, his most hated enemy- the one being he never managed to do kill by himself. He knew I could do it. My hands were powerful weapons. I had learned to start, control, and stifle any kind of fire. I could steal the lives of others like a parasitic leech, but for what purpose?

  I wouldn’t do it. No matter how insignificant a life was, it wasn’t mine to take. I stared at the tree smoldering and Heath’s bloody body. Both were almost lifeless.

  This isn’t real.

  This is a test.

  What are you trying to teach me? What am I supposed to learn from this place?

  I beat the side of my head violently, wishing I could wake up from this dream, when yet another person joined in. All formed a circle around me each one speaking to me, urging me to do something. But it was the newest person that I was most interested in.

  My dad.

  He stood, shoulders back, his eyes shining like he was proud of me. He looked over at the two daemons and rolled his eyes, almost amused by the whole scene. I couldn’t stop from giggling. It knew it wasn’t real, but that didn’t stop me from running toward him and slamming into his fierce hug.

  “How ya doing, my girl?”he wheezed as I squeezed him a bit too tightly.

  “I’m okay, but Heath!” I released him and swiped my eyes and turned to see Heath was gone again. Orias and Lilith were still talking at me pleading their cases, “Dad, this is a dream, right?”

  “Sorta.”

  “Sorta?” I asked, “Is this one of those things you’re not allowed to tell me about?”

  “Sorta,” he laughed. His faced changed quickly and he said, “Layla remember who you are. Remember who you want to be.”

  “I’m trying dad, I promise. It’s getting so hard. My daemon is getting harder to control…”

  “There is so much more power inside of you than this,” he gestured to the charred field. “Fire isn’t your only birthright.”

  “I know there’s supposed to more that comes with it, but…” I paused, “Is that what Orias was talking about? I can draw power from the world around me? How is that any different from what she does?” I pointed at Lillith, “Why do my powers always revolve around death and destruction?”

  “Well, Layla, you are a daemon afterall.”

  I rolled my eyes, knowing it was true, but it cut deep coming from him.

  “But you do have a little bit of your mother in you too.” He winked, “and me.”

  He wasn’t speaking of Lillith, but of my real mother, Layla, who I was named for.

  She was an angel- not just because she was pretty, or sweet- but an actual servant of the Almighty.

  “You can heal the hurt that you have inflicted,” he stated, looking Heavenward. “Let His power move through you.”

  “How?”

  “You must give up a part of yourself freely. Let Him have control. The healing can flow through you- it cannot be created by you. Healing is a gift that only the Lord can give. But you can use these,” he grabbed my hands in his, “to do His work. You can bring good into this world. Remember who you are, Layla.”

  He kissed my hands and hugged me one last time, “You are limited only by your own imagination.”

  And then he was gone.

  I was left with two daemons, spitting venom at me and one another. I closed my eyes, wishing they would just quit bickering and disappear. And as quickly as I thought it, they were quiet.

  I wonder if this would work in the real world.

  Their figures shrank immediately turned grayish green, and disappeared into the grass.

  Uh-oh. If there is any truth to this world, I hope these two don’t remember this!

  But I still laughed, feeling better.

  Dad had said my hands could be used to heal, not just hurt. What better place to practice that than right there. I walked to the blackened remains of that tall oak tree, and placed my palm flat against the hot, rough bark. The tree seemed to pull air from my lungs and life from my body. It didn’t feel good, but it didn’t hurt. It was like a current of energy moved from the soles of my feet to the ends of my fingers. I could feel my daemon rebelling inside me, growling and snarling, angry to give up what it was trying so desperately to hold on to.

  When I looked up the tree was restored.

  ***

 
A groan of pain tore through Heath and I shot up in bed. He was trembling and panting, but sleeping still. The bright moonlight revealed deep the recently-healed grooves in his neck.

  From Lillith?

  He was there?

  It was real!

  Heath’s eyes were closed and his was breathing ragged, returning from whatever dream world we both just inhabited. He whispered my name and reached out for me.

  “I’m here,” I whispered in his ear, “Shh.” I eased him back down into a restful sleep, my fingers trailing the planes of his naked back.

  I thought back to the dream. He didn’t want to leave me. I won’t leave you again, Layla. I’m staying, is what he said. Were his memories returning?

  It didn’t matter what name he went by, I loved this man. He was my soul mate. I would be whatever he needed.

  Always.

  Chapter 8

  Crash

  My dad was right, and the opportunity to test my possible healing powers came quickly. I could heal others around me- thank goodness too, or else Mr. Reese would be dead and any chance I had with Heath would have been ruined.It was ugly, and I wasn’t sure if I had it in me. Thankfully instinct just took over, and I knew what to do.

  It was about a week before Prom when I was forced to reveal myself to Heath. The blood, the eyes, the wings- he saw it all. I didn’t want him to find out that way. I wish I had been able to tell him who and what I was when the moment was right. I wanted to see recognition glow on his face, not horror. I had pushed him farther away from me than ever. He knew the truth and was horrified.

  ***

  It was Friday evening, a few weeks into our training. The sun was deep orange and hazy, slung low on the horizon, making the world look like a flat never-ending mirage. We had just finished another round of self-defense. Mr. Reese focused on hand-to-hand combat, and some street fighting. He fought dirty, but he said when your life is on the line, there’s no such thing as a clean fight. And ultimately it is the opponent who fights smarter that wins.

  I found I could rely on my senses just as much as I could my strength. And I had to admit, I learned a lot. The time we spent together was the only time I felt I was making some kind of progress. Besides the nights Heath and I spent in silence, it seemed my presence was only pushing Daisy and Heath closer together.

  “Where is your mind today, Layla. You need to know how to anticipate my movements.”

  “You keep telling me that.” I scoffed.

  “You know very well the likelihood of you fighting a Vagabond is much higher than you battling a member of the Vile.”

  “And yet, I’ve already done both.” I argued.

  He dropped his hands and reached for his jug of water, “It’s what I have to offer, Layla.”

  “I appreciate it, really,” I said taking a swig of my own. We walked back down the sloping field to his car.

  I hadn’t talked to my dadsince I arrived in Balmorhea, not counting my dream. In a way I thought he might be intentionally pulling away from me, trying to help me in the only way he could- giving me my independence. I knew I wasn’t allowed talk to him directly, but Mr. Reese relayed my messages to him. There were never any messages relayed back though. I liked knowing he was okay- no one was there to take care of him. I really missed him, and I wanted to talk to him about the dream. I had a feeling though he already knew about it.

  “I’m the Beacon,” I mumbled. “Shouldn’t I be stronger than this by now?”

  It all happened too fast for even me to save him.

  “What did I just hear you say? TheBeacon”Mr. Reese had walked around to the side of his car when I heard breaks screeching and the sound of metal hitting metal.

  It was Heath’s truck. He was hauling a load of hay into town. His trailer had jackknifed, swinging sideways and hitting Mr. Reese’s car at the exact moment he was about to open his door. It smashed into the side of the tiny car and propelled it a good ten feet forward.

  I don’t remember getting out, but I remember seeing Mr. Reese. I’ll never forget it. He was pinned in between the large trailer carrying round bales of hay and his own car. I couldn’t see his body, but I could see a smear of blood that ran along the side of the car.

  “Layla? Layla!” He caught my eye, “Oh, my God, Layla, are you okay? I don’t know what happened with the trailer. I didn’t even hit anything, it just swung over…”

  Heath’s words died as he finally noticed the blood too. A strangled cry came from his throat and he moved to Mr. Reese, a man that Heath loved dearly.

  “What have I done?” The cry exploded from him. He was paralyzed watching me move into action.

  “Don’t move him,” I had to slow my racing heart and think, “Not yet. Not until we know how bad it is.” There was a whisper from within me, telling me I could fix this. I touched Mr. Reese’s forehead and unfocused eyes rested on me. I could hear his heart beating still. As long as he was alive there was hope.

  The seconds ticked by, “What the hell are you doing?” Heath yelled reaching for his cell, “I’m calling 911.”

  “Help me!” I snapped, looking to Heath, knowing he had the power within him to move this trailer and free Mr. Reese. I went around to the back of the trailer. “I can’t do this without you,” I lied.

  The trailer was loaded down with hay stacked two stories high. It might as well have weighed a million pounds to Heath. No human could have moved it- but two daemons could. We both grabbed the back end. I stared at Heath’s face. He was struggling, limited by his own mind and the judgment imposed upon him.

  “Let me put the truck in reverse.”

  “No,” I countered, “You’ll make it worse.”

  “One…please, Heath, help me!” I counted, begging him to look at me. The fire within me was shining in my eyes. I could feel them flashing red. I wanted Heath to see me now.

  “Two…three.” I pretended to push. I knew it was wrong to play with Mr. Reese’s life like this, but for me the urgency just wasn’t there. I knew I could save him, but I wanted Heath to feel his own strength too. Although the situation was life-threatening, I had to know if he could do this. Heath was in a panic. He put his entire body into pulling the trailer away from the mangled car. All the while I just pretended, waiting for the power inside him to rise up.

  We tried again and again. Heath let out a vicious scream, the veins in his neck popping to the surface, his white teeth gnashed together as he fought to save Mr. Reese, his girlfriend’s father, a man of God.

  Heath was losing his fight with mortality and Mr. Reese was losing his fight with death.

  Both men were crying. I felt their pain, their horror, and their fear. The faster Heath’s heart pumped, the faster Mr. Reese’s faded. I needed to put both of these men out of their misery.

  “Move,” I shouted irritated with his inability, the trailer scraped the cracked pavement leaving blacked tread marks as I moved it by myself. I heard Mr. Reese’s body fall heavily to the ground.

  “Oh God,” Heath moaned as he ran around me.

  Mr. Reese was still awake his broken body heaving awkwardly on the ground. Blood spilled from his lips and already stained the dirt beneath him, but he was smiling when he saw the two of us kneeling over him. Heath reached for his hand and the other reached for his cell phone dialing 911.

  “Thank you both,” his voice was thick with the blood that coated his throat, “I’m dying.”

  “Don’t try to move.” Heath’s voice trembled too while he talked to the 911 operator.

  I recalled my dream again- Nightwalking it was called. Heath and I did it together, as well as everyone else that I had met in the dream. I really did happen. Lillith as always wanted me to do her bidding and ultimately bring an end to all of man. Orias wanted me to kill Lillith so she would she out of his way for all eternity. He also told me that I had the ability, like Lillith, to steal the power from other living creatures. But it was my dad’s words I kept going back to- he didn’t want anything other than for m
e to remember who I was and what I was capable of. He told me I could heal things. I wasn’t really sure how it worked.

  One of them- Lillith, Orias, or my father knew death was coming. They wanted me to be ready. Someone wanted me to know I had the power to heal.

  That crash wasn’t an accident, but whether ordained by a Higher Power, or possibly orchestrated by evil, I only knew that the dream was meant to prepare me.

  I could save Mr. Reese, but I would reveal myself to Heath. I could explain away super-strength, but not miraculous healing.

  Heath was rambling out our location, while Mr. Reese’s murky eyes looked heavenward. His mouth was moving quickly in prayer. I silently took his other hand in mine and focused on the light within me.

  I don’t really know what I’m doing right now, but I could sure use some help right about now. If anyone is listening…

  My wings sprang from my back flapping twice, stretching out their full width aching slightly from being hidden for so long.

  “What the hell?” Heath dropped his phone and yelled falling backwards and scrambling away further into the ditch. I was unmoved, concentrating only on the power flowing out of me and into the dying man on the ground. Just like the dream, it didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t comfortable either- and my daemon hated it.

  I’m sure I was a sight, wings unfurled, my eyes an intense red. I felt drained physically, but it wasn’t from evil. It felt right, even knowing Heath was staring at me in horror. It felt great to have my wings out again. Sometimes I forgot they were back there entirely.

  Mr. Reese made a strangled noise and his chest ceased to heave.

  “Leave him alone,”Heath almost snarled, “You’re not taking him anywhere.”

  I wondered how I must look to him, like an angel of death, probably. If Orrin was still in there he didn’t recognize me either. I didn’t know exactly what was happening at this point, I was just feeling my way through the motions. Orrin had taught me self-control and it looked like I would have to return the favor with Heath.

  I stared at Heath. He was beautiful when his sadness and fear were pushed aside, as he yelled at me, a wicked winged monster. His blue eyes finally lit from the darkness within him. He was ready to fight for the man he loved so dearly.