The Porter

by Ashley Dotson

  The felt the ground fall away, and I finally understood why he so distraught.

  “I couldn’t get to her. Daisy’s face was the last thing I could see before the hole closed.”

  I held him in that field for what felt like hours while he cried over his lost love. Then together we walked back to town to find Mr. Reese and tell him his daughter was gone.

  Chapter 21

  Into Hell

  “You’re insane,” I yelled at him.

  “It’s my fault, Layla. I sent her there. I have to go get her.” Heath said running his hands through his hair. He claimed he had a pain filling his skull, like it was going to explode. I knew it was just the extreme stress of the day. I hoped it was actually the flood of memories waiting to be unleashed.

  Earlier that day, Mr. Reese had taken the news badly. He became quiet, saying a word to either of us that night. He masked his emotions well, either a priestly thing or a daemonologist thing. It was abnormal. But then, nothing about Daisy’s capture had been normal.

  He was on the phone discussing today events with someone- I didn’t ask. He paced madly, his clothes in disarray. “I don’t care what the hell you have to do, get a unit down here now! The Porter has just accepted his birthright and we need to get to him before one of the daemons does. Lord help us if Samael finds out.”

  He paused, “And there’s another complication. There’s a young girl here. She’s the daughter of James Justus. I’ve known for a while, but she… is the Beacon.”

  Copious amounts of quiet head nods filled the rest of his conversation. When Heath had rehashed that day’s events, Mr. Reese said nothing. The look on his face mirrored the pain Heath wore as well. Heath pelted him with his apologies, he hung on him, begged his forgiveness, but the wound was too raw. Mr. Reese had lost his daughter- the only family he had left in this world. Even a priest would not be able to forgive that readily.

  We didn’t worry about the rest of the world. Heath’s father called to check in and make sure he wasn’t hurt. Heath informed him he wanted to stay the night at the Reese’s house. His father acquiesced quickly and told him to check in later. Many of the seniors had been taken to the hospital. We hadn’t heard anything about them. No one texted or called either of us. We were forgotten, ostracized by the group we just saved.

  I hope Ross is keeping his mouth shut.

  We didn’t see Mr. Reese the rest of the night. In the darkness that soon followed I heard his grief-wracked sobs seep through the thin walls of the house. Heath had fallen asleep on my lap. His breathing still unsteady.

  I wondered what tomorrow would bring.

  Who or how would we explain away the daemon attack?

  Did anyone else know Daisy was gone yet?

  Was she suffering the same thing I experienced in my dream?

  What does this mean for Heath?

  It was too much to consider at once. I felt selfish for only thinking of Heath, because in doing so, I was really only thinking of myself. I wanted him to choose me. To love me. To stay with me.

  But how can I compete with a dead girl?

  Although I had broken through to Heath and he admitted to our connection, even gave into it, everything with Daisy was left unresolved. With her being gone, my shot was blown. I could never compete with a memory.

  I sat still watching over Heath. His world had been tumped upside down, its contents broken and lost. It would take him time, longer than I could foresee to pick up the pieces, but I would wait for him. There was never another choice.

  Heath loved Daisy. He felt for her what I felt for him. Blame covered us both like a second skin.

  If I didn’t let Orrin die, everything would be fine.

  If I never came to Balmorhea, Daisy would be alive.

  If I had been with Heath today, maybe he could have reached Daisy in time.

  I remembered watching Orrin burn on the beach, powerless to stop it. It must have been a similar feeling to watch someone so dear slip through your fingers. I knew what he felt like. I was responsible for Orrin’s demise, just like he was responsible for Daisy’s. I knew the pain and heaviness of that blunder. There was no fixing it. There was only acceptance and eventually forgiveness.

  I stroked the shaggy dark hair at his forehead and watched the night’s dark purple blend into a bright morning orange. The sky was content, the day at peace with itself. All around us, the world was blissfully unaware of Daisy’s disappearance. It kept spinning without her and I hoped Heath would too.

  “What do we do now?” His voice was raw with emotion.

  “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “It will happen again and again. You need to be ready for it.”

  “That’s not what I was talking about,” He whispered, “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “I don’t think you have a choice.” I regretted my harsh words the moment they were out. I tried again, “This is who you are, Heath. You are Orrin Darringer, the son of Orias, the Daemon General. Deny it, be angry about it, it doesn’t change anything.”

  He grabbed my hand, “It makes me a murderer.”

  “No it doesn’t,” Came a voice from across the room.

  Mr. Reese was dressed like Indiana Jones, complete with unshaven face and wild hair. He had daggers lining his chest, a line of rope at his waist and a small book I thought to be a Bible. He also wore a familiar elaborate cross around his neck. Seeing it was like coming home. My father possessed the same one. It hung in his room when I was younger, but I never saw him wear it. It disappeared when I got older and I never thought about it again until that moment. It must be a charm reserved or demonologists. I would have to remember to ask Mr. Reese when all of this settled down.

  Heath and I both stood immediately at his entrance into the living room.

  “I need you to open up a portal.”

  “What?” Heath asked utterly confused.

  I wasn’t confused. I knew what he was about, and I couldn’t let him do it.

  “I need you to open a portal. I have to go after Daisy. If there’s any chance she’s still alive, I have to try and find her.”

  “No.” I interrupted.

  Mr. Reese ignored me and took a step toward Heath, “Do you know how to control it yet? Can you open up a portal if there are no deamons present?”

  Heath’s eyes brightened with his own growing clarity. “Maybe,” He nodded, “I can try.”

  “Please. Try for her. You can do it for her,” Mr. Reese whispered he grabbed Heath’s hand for leverage. They both looked scared, nervous and lost, using each other to remain upright.

  Decisions were being made around me and I couldn’t find my voice.

  This is absurd! Stop!

  “You guys are crazy! You can’t go marching into hell!” I finally got their attention, but the decision was made. I knew I would do no less for anyone that I loved. I shouldn’t convince them otherwise, but I couldn’t shut my mouth in time, “I mean, you can’t do that, can you?”

  “No mortal can enter hell and live to tell about it. It would never be allowed.” Came a voice, dark and slick like oil sliding over water.

  My wings extended making a loud noise, I turned ready for battle.

  The familiar smile gave way to that all too familiar voice, “I know I’m not allowed to interfere here with Orrin’s new life, but his judgment made no reference to helping a mortal or merely appearing in his presence.”

  Mr. Reese stepped forward, shielding Heath and I from the daemon in his home. Heath eyes glowed blue. I wondered if he knew who the daemon was standing before him. Could he feel the connection?

  Orias stared unwaveringly at Heath while Mr. Reese replied flatly, “I will make no deals with you daemon. I will go after my daughter myself. Get out of my house.”

  “I’ll leave when I am ready. I didn’t’ come here to make a deal with you. I am only offering my help. No strings. You won’t get far without me.”

  I scoffed and he turned to notice me, “Think you could h
ave made it this far without my help, little Beacon?”

  “Guess we’ll never know,” I sighed and pulled my wings in close. Orias could have torn all of us apart with little effort, if that was his wish. But he wasn’t one to get his hands dirty. He liked others to do his dirty work- like Orrin. It was no secret he wanted his son back and under his control. I was merely a means to an end for him. He wanted Heath to remember who he was just as much as I did. But that didn’t explain why he was here offering to help Mr. Reese. As usual there was something else he wasn’t saying.

  “I’ll go with you,” Heath suggested and the two men turned their heads in conversation, their voices only a whisper, as the roar within me was near deafening.

  What is happening?

  My control was an illusion. I couldn’t let Heath go. I couldn’t tell him not to go. He wouldn’t have listened to me anyway. As a father, Mr. Reese was prepared to walk into an unforeseeable nightmare for the smallest chance he could save his daughter. Both men would die for Daisy.

  I had no place in this discussion, unless I was willing to help.

  “No!” I cried, “It’s not safe. It’s not safe for either of you.”

  Say it. Say we will help. Came the voice within me. This is our chance to get him back!

  “No,” I said again talking now to myself. The testosterone had grown to levels of near choking. It appeared a decision had to be made, so I spoke up, the voice coming from within me was both daemon and human, “No!”

  I had their attention now. My voice rippled like a flame, “I will go.”

  “Hell no!” Heath cried.

  “Layla,” Mr. Reese had tears in his eyes when he grabbed my shoulders and moved me out of the way. “It was my job to protect Daisy. I failed. I won’t put your life in danger. James would never forgive me.” He shuddered trying to keep his emotions in check, “I would never forgive myself.”

  “Ditto.” Heath grabbed my arm and pulled me back in a failed attempt at privacy. He lowered his voice and said, “You just got here. I just found you. You...you just found me. I haven’t figured all this out, but I will. The thought of losing you tears me up, and right now I have to do this for Daisy.”

  Orias tried to dissuade me too. “Remember who is banished there? Remember who is biding her time waiting for the right moment to fulfill her damned prophecy?” He looked at me expectantly. “You will need my help.”

  “Shut up, Daemon, or I will cast you out of my house!” Mr. Reese pulled a short sword from its sheath and held a glass vial in the other hand.

  “You’re welcome to try.” Orias’ voice shook the ground causing a crack to form on the wall behind him. “I will only offer my help once. Your daughter may be taking her last breath as we speak. It has to be them,” Orias gestured to the pair of us, “It is a realm for daemons. You are not welcomed.”

  “I don’t care.” He yelled.

  “The Vile would never let either of you go. But Layla, the Beacon, would be quite a diversion. The Porter will be overlooked. If your daughter is alive- if, we might be able to save her.”

  “I’ll do it.” I said quickly looking to Heath.

  “I’ll go too.” Heath said quickly. I leaned into him and he grabbed my hand. “If you won’t listen, then I will be there to have your back.”

  I smiled inside.

  Mr. Reese paced madly like a caged animal. He clenched his fists, and finally fell to his knees, weaving his fingers together. Prayer was his first and last solution.

  “Fine,” He whispered hoarsely, a broken man.

  Heath bent to his knees and grabbed his arms, “I promise I’ll find her.”

  Mr. Reese shook his head, “I know you both will do your best.”

  “I love her. I’d do anything for her, including walk through Hell to find her.”

  “I know.” Mr. Reese pushed himself up, his grief nearly unbearable to witness. “Go. Go now before any more time passes. I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.” He unloaded all of the gear he was wearing onto Heath. To me, he gave his small brown book of incantations.

  “There’s not enough time to explain half of what you would need to know about this. It’s just enough now that you carry it with you.” He pulled the cross from around his neck, put it on mine and then kissed my cheek.

  He hugged us to him, said a prayer over us, and glared at Orias who was casually waiting to be notice him again. “I don’t trust you, Daemon.”

  “You shouldn’t, human.” Orias spat, “But you have no choice.”

  I moved to stand by Heath. He looked into my eyes memorizing the moment like he used to. “I don’t know how I know this, but when we step in, we’re going to fall. Don’t let go of my hand.”

  I nodded, remembering my dream, knowing it was about to happen. There would be Vagabonds. They would be cold. They would be hungry. I hoped I would live through it. After all, dying for love is a noble cause, even if it wasn’t my love we might be dying for. Heath was diving into the dark chasm for Daisy, and I was doing it for Heath.

  The rip came quickly and violently. I was shocked at how easily Heath created a portal in the middle of the Reese’s living room. I stared into a black chasm, shivering from the cold bony hands that were waiting break my fall.

  Heath kissed the back of my hand, “Remember, don’t let go.”

  It was the last thing I remember before my body felt sucked clean of all hope and happiness. Hell was much more than just a physical location. It was a state of mind forced upon all and impossible to fight. My daemon bucked within me and my fingers slipped through my Porter’s grip. I was tumbling further and further away from humanity as the familiar cold claws wrapped around my body.

  “Orrin,” I screamed his name into the vast nothingness and surrendered.

  Chapter 22

  Fog

  It was just like I remembered, but there would be no waking from this nightmare. This was real. The first bite into my flesh was excruciating. I cried out in anger. There was one major difference from my dream and that moment- I could really light them up.

  Fire exploded from my hands, my feet, and my body. I lit up the darkness like a Roman candle in the night sky. The Vagabonds fled screeching, leaving me to my free fall. I looked in vain for a sign of Heath, but there was only blackness. It even invaded my mouth when I tried to breath.

  I collided with the ground and my bones shattered. As I lay there in the darkness hurting and alone, impatiently waiting for my body to knit back together, my heart raced as I fought the overwhelming fear that was invading my every pore. The sadness was like a wet blanket tangled around me holding me in place. The black smoke moved like a hungry animal, encircling me, toying with me. My desperation and fear was feeding it, making it stronger and thicker somehow. My daemon fought for control telling me anger was stronger than fear, but letting go and surrendering to it wasn’t the answer. I would lose myself in this world and become like someone I the feared most- Lillith.

  Hell was more complex than I ever realized and I had no clue where to begin.

  My eyes adjusted to the new world lighting up on their own. I blinked a few times trying to peer into the smoky depths. I wasn’t sure if Hell was actually dark, but I understood why a daemon’s senses needed to be heightened.

  Slowly I rose to stand, feeling broken and desolate. My daemon was lending me its own power, comfortable in the darkness, but this was not our home and I would not stay any longer than necessary. Nothing could make me want to stay in such a dismal place.

  A cold wind blew in a torrent. Creatures scurried by shrouded in darkness waiting for me to make my move. But suddenly Orias stood in front of me, his figure becoming visible through the blackness. He seemed taller, darker. He carried a staff and his eyes glowed a familiar bright blue- the same color as Heath’s who stood next to him. The blackness parted as they approached, recoiling in fear.

  I breathed a sigh of relief to see him alive.

  “Come.” It was a command from Orias.r />
  Heath reached out his hand to me and I slipped mine in his. I touched the book in my pocket and then the cross at my neck, as ready as I’d ever be.

  I couldn’t see the ground under me but it felt firm and flat. Orias seemed to know where he was going, and left us to follow at his mercy.

  “I hope trusting him was a good idea,” I whispered.

  Heath smiled oddly. He reminded me of Orias then. He too knew something he wasn’t telling me.

  “It was the only idea with merit.” Orias interrupted.

  We followed quietly. Disembodied eyes and hisses came from the black surrounding us like a cocoon. I could only assume they were Vagabonds, but worse otherworldly creatures lived there, banished for eternity in this shadowland.

  Like fog thinning in the morning sun, the darkness began to dissipate revealing what looked like an upside down castle balanced on a single steeple. My stomach lurched at the thought of walking into it, but instead we walked around the structure. It looked like the type of place where someone in charge would reside.

  Someone powerful.

  Someone evil.

  Someone who probably already knew we are here.

  I wanted our time in Hell to be disregarded and then forgotten. I couldn’t help but be fixated on the amazing castle, unlike anything I had seen on Earth. It appeared to be made of glass. It was luminescent and white, what wasn’t surrounded in thick black fog. The numerous spires reached down from the building above, instead of it being the other way around, like crystal stalactites. It looked majestic, mystical- powerful.

  Deadly.

  “What is that?” I asked Orias.

  He looked at me sternly but did not answer.

  Heath pulled me close and spoke into my ear, “That palace?” he pointed and I nodded, “Thatis your greatest fear and worst nightmare. This place is not just a realm for the Vile and Vagabonds, it is individualized, tailored to the darkest part of all who inhabit it, made not to kill but torture. It is fed on lost dreams, bred on broken hearts, and nurtured on the sins of every living creature not just here but on Earth as well. Hell is not just a place, it is an unfathomable eternity of misery.”