by Laura Iding
Serena sniffled loudly. "No, I didn't realize that. If I didn't ask before, I'm asking now. Why is being a cop so important to you?''
He didn't know if he could make her understand, but he was willing to try. Although even after all this time, talking about the incident still pained him. "You know my sister Cheryl is four years younger than me." She nodded and he continued, "when you're eleven there's nothing worse than having a little sister tagging along, being a pest. Mom used to make me take her with me when I met my friends at the park, telling me to keep an eye on her."
"Younger sisters can be a hassle sometimes." Serena's expression turned wistful and he suspected she was remembering her relationship with Eric.
He sighed. "I resented having to bring her along, so one day I ditched her. The park was only two blocks from our house. I figured she'd go crying home to Mom, but at least I could ride off with my friends without worrying about her keeping up. To me the risk of punishment was worth being alone with my friends."
"What happened?"
"She didn't come home." Even now, the memory of what he'd done grabbed him by the throat. "Hours later, my dad tracked me down at my buddy's house after he combed the park looking for us. But Cherrie was gone. I never saw my parents so upset. I knew it was my fault, but they didn't yell and scream at me. They did call the police. Two cops showed up on our doorstep and they took me back to the park, made me go over exactly where I'd left her."
"Oh, no. How awful. But, Grant, you were just a child yourself."
"Old enough to know better." He'd learned to live with the decision that had changed his life. But she hadn't heard the worst yet. "I didn't know that there had been another child abduction in the park, just the day. before. Somehow the cops had kept that tidbit of information from hitting the media. They thought for sure the same guy had grabbed my sister."
Serena sucked in a harsh breath.
He raised tortured eyes to hers. "You have no idea what we went through during the hours they searched. They found her about midnight. Thank God she hadn't been taken after all, but had gotten completely lost. She'd cried and wandered around the park, looking for our house. When those cops brought her home, safe and unharmed, my parents wept with relief. Even my dad. I don't think I ever saw him cry except that once."
He noticed Serena was struggling not to cry again herself but she didn't interrupt.
"When I saw that officer carrying Cheryl in his arms with a big grin on his face, I knew I'd be a cop just like him one day. I suppose it sounds stupid, but I always felt as if I needed to dedicate my life to serving the public, as if I could atone for my mistake."
She drew a long ragged breath. "No, it doesn't sound stupid at all."
Grant stared down at the carpet for a minute. "So, you see, nothing will change my mind about my career, Serena. Not even knowing you were pregnant with my child. Guys like me protect the innocent. Just like that cop protected Cherrie." He swallowed hard and raised his gaze to hers. "Does our son have a grave?"
The resigned look in her eyes told him she finally accepted the truth. "Yes. It's located in the small cemetery behind my church."
"I'd like to see it."
She nodded. "I'll show you. I hope you don't mind, but I christened him Daniel Eric."
He stared at her for a long time wishing for something that could never be. "The only thing I mind is that his last name wasn't Sullivan."
CHAPTER TEN
Serena couldn't force a response from her constricted throat. Grant left her bedroom, the door closing behind him with a loud click. She buried her face in her hands.
Dear God, what had she done? Grant deserved to know the truth, but now he'd never forgive her lie. Not that she could completely blame him. Would she have told him the truth if Daniel had lived? She'd like to think so.
Scrambling to her feet, she searched for her clothes. Maybe she better understood Grant's dedication to his career but she couldn't change her fear of him dying a hero. Like he nearly had the night she'd worked in the trauma room. Why couldn't he understand that? Or didn't he even want to try?
Intent on finding him, she opened her bedroom door then froze. The door across the hall was open. Grant stood inside her spare bedroom, gazing around. As always, the room pulled at her and she crossed the threshold. A wave of sadness crushed her chest despite being surrounded by the cheery yellow walls decorated with a Noah's Ark border complete with dancing pairs of animals. Against her will her feet took a familiar path. She brushed past Grant and settled in the rocker, facing the empty crib.
"Why haven't you cleaned out this room, Serena?" he asked, his voice gruff.
She rocked in the chair, back and forth, back and forth. Her eyes remained trained on the empty crib. "I can't."
"Serena." Grant placed a hand on her chair, halting her hypnotic motion. "This isn't healthy."
Swallowing hard, she nodded. "I know. At first I spent hours in here, day after day. Then I realized I needed help. I was severely depressed and I went into counseling, even took anti-depressants. I've been better these past few months. My doctor weaned me off the medication. I've even discussed dismantling this room, donating everything to charity."
"Then why haven't you?"
"I don't know. I just can't. There's a part of me that feels like Daniel will really be gone forever if I take everything out of his room." She knew none of this made any sense, but there was no help for it. None of her feelings made sense, not regarding Daniel's room, not Grant's career.
But how did anyone change a basic part of their nature?
"So this is why you were so upset last night." Grant drew her up and out of the chair. She wanted to stay in the rocker but forced herself to stand. He tipped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "The mother and the baby dying was too much."
"No." She shook her head, pulling away from his touch. "I mean, yes, of course. But not just that. More the realization that if I had died with Daniel, there wouldn't have been any husband to cry at my bedside."
"Serena, what am I going to do with you?" He crushed her in his arms and held her close. "If I had known about the baby, I would have been there. You know that, don't you? I would have been there for you. For our son."
"I know." She pulled away and steeled her resolve to look around the room one last time. Seeing the room through Grant's eyes, she noticed the thick layer of dust that coated the furniture. The dismal sight of waste. Some other child could be enjoying these things. Some young mother who couldn't afford to buy things for herself. She risked a glance at him. "I know I should have given you that chance."
He didn't actually agree, but she figured he was thinking the same thing.
Although it was difficult, she walked across the room toward the door. "Let's get something to eat."
"Sounds good." Grant followed her out and closed the door behind him. "You know, I'll help you with this room when you're ready to tackle it."
"Thanks." Serena was surprised by his offer. Would she be able to dismantle the room if Grant was with her? Maybe. She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. I just might take you up on that."
"First, though, I'll make breakfast." Grant rubbed his stomach. "My appetite has finally returned."
"Glad to hear it." Serena ran a hand through her tousled hair. "I'd rather take a quick shower first."
"Take your time. Culinary creations need patience. These things can't be rushed."
Rolling her eyes, she headed for the bathroom. While Serena showered, Grant rummaged through cupboards to find the necessary food and utensils. Whistling through his teeth, he cracked eggs in a bowl to make omelets.
The eggs were sizzling in the pan when he heard Serena coming out of her bedroom. A knock at the door had him glancing at her in surprise.
"Don't you have to buzz to get in?"
"You managed last night, you know." Serena headed for the door. "Besides, this could be Marta."
"Serena?" Marta's pretty face was pinched with worry. A somber, m
ulti-bruised Rico stood beside her. "The Department of Social Services is coming this afternoon. I need your help."
"Of course." Serena gestured for the pair to come in. Grant turned down the heat beneath the fry pan and came toward them. "Oh, Marta and Rico, this is Grant Sullivan. Grant, my neighbors across the hall, Marta and her younger brother, Rico."
"Pleased to meet you." Grant held out his hand to Marta, then to Rico. He wondered what the hell had happened to the kid, but held his curiosity in check. After a moment's hesitation, the boy gripped his hand with a firm grasp. He grinned at the kid with approval. 'Are you guys hungry? I'm making omelets."
"Er...no, that's OK." Marta seemed nervous around him, though he didn't know why. Rico dropped his gaze to the floor. "Serena, would you mind coming over about one? That's when the social worker is due to arrive."
"Sure thing. I think we should let them know how I help you keep an eye on Rico." Serena gave the younger woman's hand a quick squeeze. "Don't worry, Marta. We'll do our best to make this work."
"Thank you, Serena. I don't know what I'd do without you." Marta smiled at Grant, although her smile didn't reach her eyes. "Nice meeting you. See you later, Serena."
The pair left and Grant turned back to his cooking. But the questions wouldn't leave him alone. Marta seemed awfully young to have custody of a child Rico's age. And what was up with the boy? Who had worked the poor kid over?
He slid one omelet on a plate and handed it to Serena. Then he scooped the second one for himself. Seated across the table, Serena dug into her food with more gusto than he'd have believed an hour ago.
"So, what was that all about?" He tried to keep his tone casual, but curiosity was killing him.
She shrugged. "Nothing much. Marta is having a tough time. She's Rico's sister and legal guardian. I'm trying to help out."
"What happened to Rico?''
"He got himself mixed up with the Hombres." Serena shook her head with a sigh. "They beat him up, though I'm not sure why. Maybe because he was trying to cut loose."
"The Hombres?" Grant's fork clattered to his plate. "Good God, Serena, the Hombres are killing cops for initiation rites. What if Rico was involved the night I was shot?''
Serena's shoulders tensed and she glared at him, clearly upset with his accusing tone. "Rico isn't a killer, Grant. I don't think he'd been initiated as a member yet. But if what you say is true, then he's lucky to get away with a beating. What if they go after him with guns instead of fists?"
"Hell, Serena, you don't know if the kid was involved or not. But if he knows some of the gang members, this might be our lucky break. I need to call the captain."
"No, you don't." Serena jumped up as he rose from his seat. "Grant, for heaven's sake. Give me some time before you jump on this. Marta is a wreck. After Rico was attacked, they pretty much treated her as if she were some sort of child abuser. Social Services is coming here in..." she glanced at her watch "...three hours. Don't you think that's enough stress for now?"
"OK, I'll give you some time. But after this little meeting is over, you'd better let me talk to Rico. Tomorrow at the latest. Hell, Serena, another cop's life could be at stake."
She hesitated, then reluctantly nodded. He wanted to leap into action, but understood that co-operation was key. First let Marta and Rico get through this little visit. Then he'd get his time with the boy to grill him for information.
Grant carried his dirty dishes to the sink. After he'd gotten some information to go on, there was a chance the captain would let him assist on the case. He couldn't do fieldwork, but he could sure as heck sit behind a desk.
Not until he'd gotten halfway home did Grant remember his promise to help Serena with Daniel's room.
Serena met with Marta and Rico fifteen minutes before the social worker was due to arrive. Marta had taken the day off and was putting together some snacks in the kitchen. In the living room, Rico sat quietly, his dark eyes full of apprehension.
"What's the matter, Rico?" Serena dropped onto a threadbare sofa beside him.
"Nuthin'." He shrugged one shoulder.
"Are you worried about being taken away from Marta?'' Serena figured there was no reason to dance around the crux of the matter.
"Maybe."
She suppressed a sigh. His one-word answers were getting to her. "Why did those boys attack you?"
"I dunno.'' He picked at a stray thread on the cushion of the couch.
Serena suspected he did know but, short of tying him up by his toenails and torturing the truth out of him, she couldn't force him to confide in her. She decided not to mention Grant's desire to talk to him about the Hombres. Time enough for the police to be involved after the social worker's visit.
Exactly at one the buzzer sounded. Marta wrung her hands as she pushed the button to allow the woman to come up. Serena wished there were something more she could do to put her friend at ease.
Marta opened the door.
"Ms. Gonzales?" A middle-aged woman with dark hair sprinkled with gray greeted her.
Marta mutely nodded.
"I'm Ms. Stilman, the social worker assigned to your case. May I come in?"
Overall, Serena felt the visit went well. Ms. Stilman had several pointed questions for Marta, then she also pinned Rico on his relationship with the Hombres.
"I don't hang with them any more," he told her.
Understandably, Ms. Stilman didn't seem convinced. "What happens the next time you're home alone and they show up? How are you going to resist the lure of their friendship?''
Rico hadn't come up with a great answer for that one, other than to reinforce that he wasn't going to hang with them any more. Ms. Stilman requested a copy of Marta's work schedules for the two jobs she held.
"I live across the hall and help keep an eye on Rico when Marta is working." She glanced at Rico, who caught on quickly and nodded. "Just the other day, he came over for breakfast. And there's a program at Trinity that I'm recommending for Marta. If she could get a full-time job there, the hospital will pay for her to go to nursing school. She's looking into the program."
"Really?" Ms. Stilman appeared impressed with that information. "I think that would be a great idea. There's a huge nursing shortage now."
After a grueling hour of questions and a brief tour of Marta's apartment, including Rico's bedroom, Ms. Stilman seemed satisfied.
"Well, I think things can remain the way they are for now. But if Rico gets himself into trouble again, I'm afraid we'll be forced to take a stronger stance."
"But the fact that he was assaulted isn't his fault," Marta protested.
"Except he's admitted to hanging with the Hombres, which is trouble. And his fault." Ms. Stilman softened her words with a smile. "But it seems as if he's trying to get his life back on track. I'm glad to see you're taking his welfare seriously, Marta."
Marta put her arm around Rico's shoulders. "We're family. We'll be fine."
"Good. I really hope that's true." Ms. Stilman turned to Serena. "Ms. Mitchell. Nice to meet you. Marta and Rico, call me if you need anything, OK?''
Rico let out a big sigh when Ms. Stilman left. "Whew. I didn't think she was ever gonna leave."
"You heard her, Rico. You must stay away from those Hombres. If you don't, they'll take you away." Marta was back to wringing her hands.
"Hey, I thought the visit went well." Serena made an effort to lighten Marta's sour mood. "She's really on your side, Marta. I think your dedication to Rico and to providing a stable home for him really helped."
"Gracias, Serena. Thanks for your help."
Serena cleared her throat. "You're welcome but I need a favor, too. Rico, remember earlier this morning when you met Grant Sullivan?" He nodded and she continued, "He's a cop. He'd like to talk to you about the Hombres."
Rico's eyes widened in alarm and he backed up several steps. "No! I know nothing."
"You know they're shooting cops, don't you?" Serena persisted. "Grant was not long ago. Did you know that? The
y think the Hombres are responsible."
He shrank against Marta. "I can't tell. I can't!"
"Listen, Rico. Those boys are trouble. If they get arrested, they can't hurt you any more, right?" Marta took him by the shoulders and pierced him with her gaze. "This is important. If you do this, the social worker will really know you plan to stay away from them for good."
Indecision clouded his eyes. Finally he nodded, although his chin dragged on his chest. "OK. I'll go."
"Thank you, Rico." Serena squeezed his shoulder. "I know this isn't easy, but anything, even the smallest detail, might help."
Marta nodded her agreement. "When do you need him?"
"Now, if that's all right." Serena glanced at her watch. Grant probably wasn't expecting them this early but she was worried that, given additional time to think about this, Rico could change his mind. "I'll drive."
Rico huddled in the corner of her car's passenger seat, withdrawing into silence. Serena didn't know what to say to make this easier for him. She knew he felt as if he were ratting on his friends, but what sort of friends beat you up when you didn't want to hang around any more?
Luckily, the ride to Grant's bungalow was a short one. She pulled up to the curb, glancing through her window to make sure his rusted Chevy was parked in the driveway.
There was a chocolate brown Grand Am parked in the driveway instead. As she watched, the passenger door opened and a brown-haired boy tumbled out. Grant stood in the doorway and laughingly scooped up the boy when the kid launched himself at him. A beautiful brunette stepped out of the driver's side.
"Ben, take it easy! Don't hurt Grant's stitches!"
"Ah, don't worry, slugger." Grant's grin from ear to ear clearly showed he didn't mind. "Ben just missed me, didn't you? Well you know what? I missed you, too."
"Are you gonna come to my Little League game tomorrow night?" Ben wanted to know.
"Ben," Loren warned. "Don't start."
"Of course I'll be there." Grant propped open his door, a silent invitation for Loren to come inside. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
