Jason (Ryan family Book 1)

by Ana Balen

  Dear God, they were lunatics. I would laugh if I didn't see she was dead-serious. I had no idea how she could believe in half the stuff that came out of her mouth, let alone convince herself it was okay to live by that...that code. What woman in her right mind would put up with something like that? If what she hinted at was true, did she get she was talking about chairs at a football stadium? I knew she probably got other perks in her life, and for her sake, I hoped it was enough and she got exactly what she wanted, because I knew I couldn't live like that.

  But still, right this second, she was trying me to put me in my place over chairs.

  “Jason Harris?” she asked and shook her head at me, fake sadness coating her tone. “Not gonna happen, honey. He doesn't know what he wants or needs. Our girl Mindy here,” Autumn jerked her head back. “That’s the girl who's gonna warm his bed for a long time, who's gonna get his diamond, and who's gonna put the gold band on his finger in the end.” The sneer came back. “Not you.”

  She took another step in my direction and all I could do was gawk at her for the sheer stupidity and insanity that was coming out of her mouth.

  “In the unlikely event that the impossible happens and you get a repeat performance, you need to dress up to the standard,” once again, she looked at me from top to bottom.

  I had on my worn so much they were almost white jeans, but they were my favorite, and when Jason saw the cuts on the knees and the one at the top of my right thigh, his eyes had gone dark and he shook his head, muttering Not enough time, before he turned and stalked to the door. White Converse on my feet, and a red T-shirt, which Jason had signed in the locker room, right under the words Love you on the outside and I'm going to fuck you later that he wrote on the inside. It was sweet, it was funny, and it was definitely sexy when he wrote it. I promised myself I was going to frame it and hang the shirt in my bedroom.

  “No more of this…this…I don't even know what to call those rags you're wearing. As long as you're near Harris, you represent him and this team, so you need to act and dress accordingly,” she started to walk to the door but stopped when she was next to me. “But don't come back if you know what's good for you. Leave him to his girl,” she whispered, and one by one they passed me and walked through the doorway, leaving me alone to watch Mindy wink and wiggle her fingers at me. I was so shocked that the only thing I did was turn around and walk out. All the way through the hall, my steps echoed around me, but I barely heard it. What was with all the warnings against being with Jason? First, Logan and his looks of sorrow; now this, what did they call themselves, WAGS, wives and girlfriends of sportsman?

  When was Mindy ever involved with Jason?

  I knew he knew her before, but she was trying to get Logan and tie him down. They hooked up a couple times and even made out when we were all hanging in the bar after practice one night, before Logan got bored and cast her off. She tried getting to him by coming to Jason's place, looking for him, and that was only because she didn’t know where Logan lived. At least, that's what Jason told me. All the guys thought it was funny that Jason lived in a small house, and they frequently came over with girls. That way, the girls didn't know where they actually lived, and the guys got entertainment when Jason had to fend the women off his property. Sure, it’d stopped since we became an item, but I knew some of the guys weren't happy about it. Especially Logan and Dylan.

  Was it possible Mindy and Jason were together?

  When were they together?

  When did they break up?

  Did he tell her he loved her, too?

  The first tear that fell jolted me, and I quickly wiped it away. I didn't want anyone to see me cry, especially not those vultures. Was he only playing me? What did he think he would possibly get out of it? By the time I came to the mouth of the hall, right where the players were coming out, the streaks that my tears were leaving on my face were more than obvious. I looked up and was met by the smirks of the foursome that ripped me apart, and I was so focused on them I unfortunately didn't see another snake coming right at me, ready to strike.

  “You're still here,” the snide comment was a punch to my already bruised heart. I looked to Curt, wanting to tell him it was probably the last time he would see me, but he didn't give me the chance. He took a menacing step toward me and hissed, “You need to cut Jason loose. Because of you, he's passing the opportunity of a lifetime.”

  “What?” I whispered through cold and going on numb lips.

  “Oh, he didn't tell you, did he?” the evil smile warned me to brace, but I wasn't smart enough to listen. “He's got offers from all over the country. The most lucrative one coming from L.A., which we both know is right around the corner from where he grew up. Now, he won't admit it, but he wants to take it. The only thing keeping him here is you and your cunt.” He took a step back, and just like the WAGS did ten minutes before, he looked me up and down. “I don't know if it's sweet enough to pass over twenty million dollars, but I sincerely doubt it just by looking at you. So back the fuck off, lose that ironclad grip you have on his dick, and you and your pussy need to disappear from Jason's life. Am I clear?”

  “You're fired,” the barely restrained rage coming from behind Curt's back surprised us both.

  Turning around quickly, Curt put his hands at waist level, his palms pointing to the ground, and he was moving his arms up and down like he was pushing the air down. “Now, look here, Jason. I don't know what you think you heard, but, Rory and I…we were just having a little chat. Nothing more. I just wanted to check in to see how your recovery was going.”

  One of Jason's brows had gone up, “So, the fact that I just heard you telling Rory about the contracts I refused several times and spewing shit that she needs to leave me, not to mention calling her a cunt, was all my vivid imagination?”

  “Now, I never called her a cunt.”

  That was not the way to go. With a jerk, Jason threw his bag from his shoulder and had a hand wrapped around Curt's throat, pushing him into the wall in the blink of an eye. I watched it, but still I didn't see when he did that; it was so fast.

  “You ever come back or near Rory, I'm going to kill you. You hear me?” If I were in Curt’s place I would nod frantically, but the man just looked at Jason and patted at his wrist like one would a child on the head. “Do not ever come back. I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear you.” Pushing Curt farther into the wall, which I thought was impossible, he finished on a scary whisper, “and I especially don't want you to even breathe around Rory, let alone talk to her again. You got me?”

  Curt glanced at me sideways, but quickly looked back at Jason when he shook him a little and slammed him back into the wall. He was now turning blue in the face, and his palm that was patting Jason’s wrist started to claw at it.

  “You got me?”

  He gave one last stubborn look before he wheezed, “Yes.”

  Taking a step away, Jason released him, and Curt crumbled to the floor, rubbing his neck and sending me a hateful look that had fear sneaking up my spine. Not even sparing him one glance, Jason bent, picked up his bag, threw it over his shoulder in one fluid move, took my hand gently in his, and pulled me away from those horrible people. Right to his car. On our way out, I couldn’t help myself, and I turned over my shoulder, raised my hand and gave the WAGS a nice little wave and a smirk. The sight of their stunned faces was a nice perk, too.

  I knew I shouldn't have; I knew it wasn't my place. And I also knew his answer had the power to destroy me. I kept telling myself to keep my mouth shut, to not ask anything and just gather my things at Jason's house and go home. This was too much. The things that were said to me today hurt too much. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out the truth.

  Still, I did.

  I opened my fucking mouth.

  “Are you leaving Denver?” I wasn't even sure if he heard, my voice was so soft.

  “What the fuck?” Jason whispered, looking away from the road to glance at me. “Of course not. Why would
you even ask that?”

  “Curt,” I said in answer, which it wasn't, but still.

  “Don't listen to him. He's just a snake looking for his next big payout,” Jason dismissed everything that happened and shut down the car, exited it, and said, “let's go inside.”

  I was so wrapped up in my head I didn’t even realize we were at his place. Okay, maybe I got it wrong. Maybe what Curt said to me was a lie and he was just trying to get me to leave Jason. Why? I had no idea. But still, there was one other issue that was swimming around my mind, torturing me. Mindy.

  “And what about your girlfriend?” I asked his back as he let us in his home.

  “What?” he whispered, looking back at me, the muscles in his back flexing. In fact, his whole body was turning to stone right before my eyes.

  I didn't take it as a good sign, and if I was smart, I would just say nothing and get out. Unfortunately, I wasn't all that bright, as it turned out.

  “I hear you have a girl who's going to wear your wedding ring in the future, waiting for you to have some fun or whatever, and then you’ll go back to her to ride happily into the sunset.” Walking past him, I ducked my head and swiped at the traitorous tears that had started to leak again.

  “You're fucking with me,” he closed the door and followed me with his eyes. “Tell me you're fucking with me.”

  I said nothing, and when I started to gather my stuff from all over the place, he came to me.

  Pulling at my elbow, he turned me to him, “Rory, tell me this is some kind of joke.”

  Again, I said nothing and just looked past him.

  “How in the actual fuck do you think that's even possible? Who told you that?”

  When I kept my silence, he shook me, my head snapping back, and at the sound of pain coming out of my mouth, he released his grip and took a step back. I could see he was shaking with rage. Barely holding it together.

  “It was those bitches, wasn’t it? The shit-for-brains plastic Barbies,” swallowing, he took a step toward me, but I stepped back. His eyes zeroed in on my feet and he tried again, only for me to take another step back. His eyes came to mine and I could see fear mixed with anger dancing in them. “I can't believe you would ever believe them. I would never do something like that. I thought you knew me better. I just fired my manager because he was a dick to you, for Christ's sake!” he yelled. When I stepped back again, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes when releasing it, visibly calming himself down. “Don't be afraid of me. I won't hurt you. In fact, I won't even touch you. But listen to me, Rory. I'm not that kind of man. I would never cheat on you. I would never take advantage of you.”

  “What about your career?” I whispered. There was a big possibility that he was leaving Denver. Maybe not this season or the next, but that was something that could happen in any given moment.

  “Fuck my career!” he roared, leaning toward me, his hands balled into tight fists. “I don't care anymore. The only thing I care about is you. I even told you, I love you. Do you know how many women I've ever told that? Do you, Rory?”

  I just shook my head, too scared and too shocked to do anything else.

  “None. Not fucking one. You're the only one who got those words from me. Fuck me, but you're the only one who evokes that feeling in me. For you to think I would be a piece of shit who would cheat on someone, let alone on you, then when I get my rocks off go back to some skank that's happy to wait until I dicked around on her? And she is a skank, Rory. I told you I met her before I met you, so I know the game she plays. I'm a professional football player. There are always women trailing behind, trying to get us to notice them. It's the same in any sport. But I never had anything to do with her. It was offered; I won't lie. I just didn't want the one who was offering it.” The look of sheer repulsion stretched his mouth. “I wasn’t a virgin when you met me; you know that. You also knew I didn't get my balls in the traps those women call hands. I never had a thing with one of them or the ones in their circle.” He looked to the side, shaking his head. He closed his eyes and, obviously coming to some kind of decision, he looked back at me, “and yeah, fuck yeah, you're the reason I said no to those contract offers. But you're only one of the reasons. All my life, all I ever wanted was to play for the Denver Thunders. I worked my ass off for that. And now that I’ve finally got it, I'm not going to throw it away for more money. I have more integrity than that. And if, and that's a big if, they decided to release me from my contract, I still wouldn't go.” He was breathing hard. I could tell he wanted to come to me, but he stayed rooted to the spot.

  “Why?” I whispered, new tears coming down my face. I had a good idea, but I still wanted to hear it coming out of his mouth.

  “Because you're here.” The veins in his neck pulsed. “You've become more important than anything. Even football, even my future.” I took a tiny step toward him. I wanted to hold him so much it physically hurt. He stopped me with his hand raised, “don't come near me, Rory. I'm so fucking angry and I know if you come near me, I’ll just fuck you and try to forget this ever happened. But, I can’t. I can't understand how you could believe them. If you don’t believe in me…in us,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I just... can't.”

  He sighed again, looked down, pushed his hand in his hair, and I watched as his shoulders slumped down. After a moment, not even sparing me a glance, he turned and went into his bedroom, softly closing the door. But that soft click pulsed in me from head to toe. I stood there not moving, and I cried. How was it possible that we went from that sweet place he had us in only a few hours ago, to this cold existence? How couldn't he understand that I just wasn't able to dismiss all that was said to me today? Coupled with the regretful looks and warnings from Logan, it all fit. It all made perfect sense. And all those fights between him and Curt were clear now. All his bad behavior. His mood swings whenever Curt was near, his impatience when Mindy would show up at his door. Still, even when she said she was looking for Logan. And when we told her that Logan wasn’t there, she asked for any player that came to her mind. Only recently had she started to hunt down Jason.

  And he was always with me, spending almost every second of the day near me. I haven't once seen him sneak around with his phone or take off without explanation. With all that running through my head, I knew I still shouldn't have done what I did.

  I loved him.

  And I wanted him.

  And I needed him.

  He was my everything.

  Sure, maybe I had trust issues. Maybe I needed to start listening to my heart. I should have listened to him and came back tomorrow. I should’ve just gone home. Maybe I’d be spared the pain later on. Maybe, but who knows? Still, I wiped my face and went to him.

  Chapter Nine

  Jason

  “Jason?” Rory’s sweet whisper tickled my ears, but even that wasn’t enough for me to look up from my bent position of staring at the floor.

  Softly, I could here her coming toward my bed, where I was sitting down. Still, I didn’t look up, I couldn’t look at her.

  Not now.

  After the last month, I was sure she was mine completely. I was sure she believed in me...in us. My biggest fear was that she would crack under the pressure that being with me would bring her. I was scared shitless when that first picture of us taking a walk was taken and the press, blogs, and numerous fans started sharing it on social media, asking who the mystery woman was.

  But she didn’t say anything. Didn’t act any different.

  That was the following morning right after we had dinner with her mom and Sebastian. Besides the picture of us walking together, the fuckers got it just at the right time. In it, my arm was around her, pulling her to me, my eyes closed while I kissed her hair. Both of her arms were around me, her eyes also closed, but she had a little satisfied smile on her lips and her head was at an angle, almost like she tried to hide it. I was torn between wanting to kill the fuckers who took it or find them and thank them. She was so extraordinarily beautiful
in that picture. They also printed a picture of us, her mom and her boyfriend laughing and clinking our glasses together at dinner. I couldn't remember what we were toasting to or even laughing about. It didn't matter. Sebastian was almost as famous as any athlete, so of course the questions came pouring. I walked on eggshells all day, but again, she just took it in stride.

  So, I finally relaxed.

  I was happy. I was in love.

  I thought nothing could break us now. But I foolishly forgot about the wives and groupies, and I didn't even think about Curt. They got to her. For her to so blindly assume they were right, that what those snakes were whispering in her ear was true, I couldn't help but feel betrayed. I risked everything for her.

  Curt even went to the team owners behind my back and asked them to consider releasing me from my contract early so he could pursue other teams, other opportunities, a better paycheck. It was pure luck that they decided to talk to me first. To say I was shocked that the fucker would go to that length was an understatement. I did everything but beg them not to sever the contract. It took some convincing but, in the end, they believed me, that it was only a misunderstanding and not some play to wring more money out of them. They did say they’d have to think about what their next move would be and about the next season. But they also did say they would hate losing me, and after promising one more time, I had no intentions of leaving the Thunders, they shook my hand smiling. Thank fuck I nipped that in the bud.

  “Jason?” she asked in that timid voice.

  God, how I hated the sound of that. I never lost my shit like that before. I went to great pains to push down the urge to rip apart anyone who threatened my future, only to lose it in front of the woman who was my future. The scared look she had while I raged in the living room was something that would haunt my dreams and weigh heavy on my soul for the rest of my life. I never wanted to see it again., and I was scared I would lose it again if she didn't back off.