Wildest Dreams

by Rosanne Bittner

  "You can't order your kids' lives, Luke. You know how much Paul's death affected poor Robbie. If bein' a doctor makes it all better for him, you've gotta let the boy try."

  Luke sighed, turning his horse. "I don't know, Will. It seems that my family is going in six different directions. Maybe it would all be easier for me to cope with if I could feel close to Lettie again, but it's as if she's in another world, as though she hardly knows I'm around when I am home."

  "Well, you'd best stay for a while this time and get things straightened out before that damned Englishman steals your woman right from under your nose. You might as well know Bentley has been over to the ranch quite a few times over the summer, accordin' to what your men tell me. He dotes on Pearl and Robbie mostly, but Katie, too. I think the man is tryin' to get to Lettie through the kids. Lord knows their own father hasn't been around enough to know what's goin' on in their lives. If you don't want to lose them all, Luke, you'd better tend to the family. If Lettie won't talk, then find a way to make her talk, but first, get rid of Nial Bentley. And don't tell me it don't bother you to know the man is after your wife again. A woman in her state needs a man's strength, and don't think Nial don't know that. He's movin' in for the kill, and you're lettin' him do it."

  Luke drew his horse to a halt, and when Will looked over at him, he shivered at how dark the man's eyes looked, their blue color seeming to change to smoke. "I'm not letting the man do anything! I had no idea Bentley was damn fool enough to keep coming around. I let that first visit go by as an expression of friendship and sympathy. I didn't know there were others."

  "Everybody in town talks about you and Annie and Lettie and Nial. I just thought you should know. I don't doubt Nial has put ideas into Lettie's head about you and Annie Gates. If she thinks you're sleepin' with the woman, it ain't gonna help anything." He paused, studying Luke intently. "Have you slept with Annie?"

  Luke looked away. "Only once." He heard Will sigh, and he met the man's eyes again. "Jesus, Will, Lettie hasn't slept with me since before Paul died. A man can only take so much." He turned away again. "But I'm not taking it anymore. Something is going to get straightened out when I get home, and it's going to start with Nial Bentley!" The last words were spoken with bitter venom. "Let's bag ourselves some rustlers!" He kicked his horse and headed toward the posse, which was well ahead of them now. Will charged out after him, glad to see a new spark of life in Luke's eyes. Henny was right to suggest that he tell Luke about Nial Bentley. Jealousy could do a lot of things to a man.

  CHAPTER 20

  Lettie knocked on the back door to the Lonesome Tree, hoping no one had seen her duck into the alley after leaving the hat shop. She had asked Bob Franks to take the children back to the ranch and had stayed two nights with Henny. Because of Henny's illness, she wasn't sure how much time there was left to be with her friend, and she knew Henny was lonely with Will gone, so she had decided to keep her company for a couple of extra days.

  The visit had done her heart good. She had come to town to comfort Henny, but Henny had comforted her instead. Her good friend had a way of making her think, and she realized how wrong she had been to withdraw from the rest of her family because of Paul. She should be grateful for what she had left, a beautiful home, four other strong, healthy children, a husband who had practically killed himself to give her the life he thought she deserved. The women of Billings and the surrounding area had finally brought in a minister this summer, and a church had been built. Yesterday Reverend Gooding had come to visit Henny, but it was Lettie who had ended up having a heart-to-heart talk with the man. He had prayed with her, and she had come to accept that the reverend was probably right that God had had a purpose in taking little Paul. Maybe the whole experience would make Robbie a more dedicated doctor, a man who would someday save many lives. She had to believe there was a reason for her baby's death, or she could never go on with her own life. Now there was one more thing to be dealt with before she went home and waited for Luke. She had to know the truth about Annie Gates. She didn't really hate or blame Luke if he had been with the woman. He had literally had no wife for almost two years now. She just wanted to understand, wanted to hear from the horse's mouth if it meant anything, how many times he had been with the woman, or if perhaps there was no truth to it at all.

  She almost jumped back when the door opened, and a mustached man wearing an apron scowled at her. She recognized Ben Pritchert, the owner of the Lonesome Tree. "What the hell do you want this time of morning?" He squinted his eyes. "Jesus! Ain't you Luke Fontaine's wife?"

  Lettie held her chin high. "I am."

  The man looked her over in surprise, and she wanted to die at realizing he probably knew why she had come. "I would like to see Miss Annie Gates, alone. Right here in your back room will suffice."

  The man smoothed back what little hair he had, suddenly looking self-conscious. "Well, uh, Mrs. Fontaine, women like Annie, they don't exactly get up early in the mornin' like this. Why don't you come back after twelve?"

  "I want to see her now! Go and get her, please." Lettie looked past him into the dark, stuffy storeroom. "I know Annie lives above your saloon with the other town prostitutes." She looked at Pritchert again. "Who, I might add, will someday be banished from Billings, if the women's group has their way."

  Pritchert's face reddened a little. "That would hurt my business. Look, lady, don't go runnin' me out of business just because you've got it in for Annie on account of your husband. That's your problem, not mine."

  Lettie had to contain herself to keep from hitting the man, but she could not control the crimson color that came to her cheeks. How could she have been such a fool! The whole town knew, and they probably blamed her for not being a good wife! "Please go and get her, Mr. Pritchert. I won't leave until you do. And believe me, that would hurt your business."

  The man rubbed at sleepy eyes. "Shit," he muttered. He stepped back. "Come on in and close the door. I can't stand all that sunshine." He turned and left, and Lettie waited with a pounding heart. She had worn a new dress, a soft green summer cotton that fit her still-trim figure and full breasts perfectly. The high neck and the ruffles at the end of the three-quarter-length sleeves were trimmed with white lace, and the waistline was set off by a sash that tied into a wide bow at the back. The front of the skirt was fitted, then gathered into the back in a cascade of ruffles that fell into a short train.

  She carried a parasol that matched the dress, wore her auburn hair swept up into curls and topped with a little straw hat with a band of the same material as the dress. Her ears sported tiny diamond earrings. She wanted to look her best, to show Annie Gates that Luke Fontaine's wife was still pretty and slender. She didn't need paint on her face, didn't need to deck herself out in low-cut satin dresses and dangling earrings. She had been here a lot longer than Annie Gates, had done much more to contribute to the growth and taming of Montana and Billings than the whores who came here after the fact to bring their corruption.

  She winced at the room's musty smell, glanced at barrels of beer and bottles of whiskey stacked everywhere. This was a world only men understood... and women like Annie. She could not imagine a woman going to bed with just any man, many men. For her it would be like rape, and she well remembered what that had been like. It made no sense to her that a woman could do such a thing, but if she did have such uncontrollable urges, it was easy to understand why she would be attracted to a man like Luke. Any woman would be attracted to him, not just because of his wealth and power, but because of the man himself, his build, his looks... the gentle side of him she had not seen for such a long time. Was he gentle with Annie?

  She shivered at the very picture of it. Luke! She had caused him to turn to another woman. The only thing she could be grateful for was that it was someone who could not possibly mean anything to him. What if it had been some young, decent, single woman he had taken an interest in! She might have no chance at all of fixing the damage and getting her husband back. Did he think she
had been doing such things with Nial Bentley? If Luke came across the other ranchers who had gone after those rustlers, what would they tell him about Nial's visits to the Double L? She was grateful for Nial's attention these past months, valued his friendship, and had even been somewhat attracted to him. But no man could take Luke's place in her heart. Surely he knew that.

  Now she wasn't sure what to think of Nial's attention. When she needed genuine sympathy and understanding, he had been there, but was Henny right in thinking he was just playing on her emotions? She realized that the only time he came calling was when Luke was gone. How sad that his attention to the children might not have been because he really cared about them but only to win her over. It made her sick to realize how blind she had been since Paul's death, how vulnerable. Over the years out here she had learned to be strong, to fight back; but Paul's death and Nathan's desertion had taken the fight out of her. Now she felt that old will returning. Seeing Henny failing so fast had made her realize how little time anyone had on this earth.

  She drew a deep breath for courage when she heard a woman yelling then. So, Annie Gates did not appreciate being rousted out of bed so early. Maybe she still had a customer with her! The thought made her shiver. She wasn't sure what to expect. She had seen Annie a few times in town, but the woman had not attended any social or family events since the fall dance nearly five years ago. After that, the women of Billings had made it very clear they would not condone prostitutes being around their young sons and daughters and flaunting themselves in front of good, Christian people.

  Suddenly the door to the back room was flung open, and both women just stared at each other for a moment.

  Lettie felt sick at what she saw, a woman more beautiful than she wanted to admit. What a waste of such a lovely creature. In spite of the mussed blond hair and the bloodshot eyes she was still pretty. Rouge and lip color had been rubbed away through the night, probably by some man. She wore a flimsy gown and a robe with feathered sleeves, thin enough to make it obvious that the body underneath was perfectly curved. "If you're looking for Luke, he's not here," the woman spoke up.

  Lettie tried to determine how old she might be, but it was impossible. Was she young but looked older because of her hard life? Or was she older than it appeared, seeming younger because of all that pretty hair and her nice shape? Lettie remembered the night of the dance someone had said something about how sad it was that someone only twenty had already fallen so deeply into sin. Were they talking about Annie? That would make her twenty-five now. "I'm not looking for Luke," she answered, forcing herself to remain calm. "I'm looking for you."

  Annie sniffed, running her fingers through her hair and suddenly appearing self-conscious. "Ben, bring me a shot of whiskey!" she hollered through the door. Lettie heard the man's muffled answer, then felt almost naked as Annie stood there looking her over. "You sure are a pretty woman for your age," she said with a sly grin. "Is that what you want to know? If Luke still thinks you're pretty?"

  Lettie wanted to crumble at the familiar way she spoke about her husband. "Does he?"

  The door opened, and Ben handed Annie the drink. He glanced at Lettie with a worried look on his face, then closed the door again. Annie slugged down the whiskey as readily as any man would. "You're a fool, Mrs. Fontaine. I know your boy died and all, and I'm sorry about that. I just don't think you know what his death did to Luke. And I don't think you have any idea how much that man loves you."

  Lettie blinked back tears, never dreaming she'd be grateful to hear those words coming from someone like Annie Gates. Annie folded her arms, shaking her head. "Of course he thinks you're pretty. He thinks you're the most beautiful woman who ever set foot in Montana, or anyplace else for that matter. He worships the ground you walk on, and he thinks he's disappointed you, failed you. He can't handle that because he was already rejected by his own father, who expects him to fail, wants him to fail. He could handle rejection by his father, but not from you. You mean too much to him."

  Lettie frowned, amazed that this woman seemed to understand so much, that she seemed to care about Luke, the person. "He told you about his father?"

  Annie let out a snicker, looking almost sorrowful. "Sure." She dropped her arms, stepped a little closer. "We talk, Mrs. Fontaine—something he hasn't been able to do with you for a long time. And believe it or not, talking is just about all we do. He's only slept with me once, and I don't think he got much out of it because it wasn't you. He's not a man who easily cheats on his wife, Mrs. Fontaine. He had a need and I filled it. It's that simple. That's my job."

  Lettie turned away, jealousy raging through her. Until now it was just a rumor, and she had made herself believe it couldn't be true. Never had she burned so deeply to have her husband back sexually. It hit her so hard it almost hurt.

  "Don't you go blaming him, lady," Annie told her. "He's a man, and he fought his needs for a long time."

  Lettie swallowed, struggling to find her voice. "When... did it happen?"

  Annie rolled her eyes. "Does it really matter? I told you it was only once. The point is, there is only one woman for Luke Fontaine, and you're it. The minute you set things straight with that man, I'll be lucky he even gives me the time of day. You don't think it meant anything, do you?" She chuckled. "Honey, I'm not that stupid, and don't you be. I like Luke. I helped him through a bad time, that's all. It's not his nature to have anybody in his bed but his wife, but the way I understand it, his wife hasn't been in his bed for close to two years now."

  Lettie turned to face her. "I see you know just about everything there is to know."

  Annie looked her over again. "I know you suffered a terrible loss, and that it is something the two of you should have shared instead of letting it come between you." Her eyes suddenly teared. "And I know I would give anything, anything, to be in your shoes. No man will ever love me like that, Mrs. Fontaine. I know that for a fact. God knows I'd give my right arm for a man like Luke. I could love him so easily. Fact is, maybe I do love him. Women like me, we do have feelings, in case you don't realize it. But it wouldn't do me any good to allow them to surface, especially for Luke Fontaine. Compared to you, I'm nothing in his eyes but someone he can have a drink with and spill his guts to and use for his manly needs when he gets to the point where he can't ignore them anymore." She wiped at a tear and took a deep breath. "You have something wonderful, Mrs. Fontaine —a good man who's handsome to boot, four beautiful children; you live in a mansion on the biggest ranch in Montana. My God, woman, don't throw it all away!"

  Lettie wanted to hate her, scream at her; but she knew the woman was right. "I don't intend to. I just... I wanted to know if the rumors were true. Thank you for being honest with me and for... for apparently caring. I didn't think—"

  "That I had any feelings?" She laughed lightly. "Honey, when you're raised like I was, by a step-father who beats you and starts coming to your bed when you're only eight, you learn how to shut off your feelings. But they're still there when necessary."

  Lettie shivered at the realization of what had led the young woman to such a hideous life. Surely she felt unloved, dirty, unworthy of a decent life. "Annie, it's never too late for anyone, you know. If you wanted to get out of here, do something else with your life, you still could."

  The woman waved her off. "You wouldn't understand."

  Lettie thought about her own rape, how she had felt about herself afterward... until Luke came along. "Maybe I understand better than you know."

  Annie frowned in confusion, and Lettie realized Luke had probably never told her about her own rape. He knew she never wanted anyone else to know. Even in his hour of deepest need and outpouring of heart to someone else, he had not said anything about his wife's rape, the illegitimacy of her first child. "Annie, I mean it. If you show you are trying to change your life, you can have friends besides men like Ben Pritchert, who you know doesn't give a damn about you; friends besides men who only want to use you; better friends than the other prostitutes
that you know. Those women only like you because you're just like them."

  For a brief moment Lettie could see that the words had cut deep. Annie looked almost as if she were going to start crying, but then she forced another laugh and tossed her head.

  "Don't preach to me. There's been enough preaching here and I've done it. Don't ask me why. I've surprised even myself. Just take my advice, Mrs. Fontaine, and straighten things out with your husband. And stay away from that damned Englishman. He can't hold a candle to Luke Fontaine, in spite of all his money and his title."

  Lettie's eyebrows arched in surprise. "What have you heard about me and Nial Bentley?"

  Annie yelled out for more whiskey, then turned back to Lettie. "Nothing bad about you, honey. Everybody in this town respects you, knows you've been a woman in deep mourning over the loss of two children. It's Bentley everybody talks about, how he's just trying to take advantage of the situation, using your emotions to win you over. It's obvious the man was infatuated with you the first time he came around a few years ago."

  The door opened again, and Ben handed Annie a whole bottle and another shot glass, then left again. Annie poured herself another shot and drank it down. "Nial is a smooth, clever man, Lettie. He's visited me a few times. You're a lucky woman. The two richest men in the territory are in love with you, but only one of them fathered your children and would die for you without question. Only one of them has guts, and only one of them got his wealth by getting his hands dirty and building it on his own. It wasn't handed to him. He had a woman to help him, a woman with as much guts as he has. They belong together. You don't match up with somebody like Nial. You belong with a man like Luke, helping to civilize this territory and make it grow. My kind—" She shrugged. "We'll move on to places where there isn't so much law yet, if there are any places like that left."

  Lettie was dumbfounded at the entire conversation. She had expected a cat fight, shouting, eye scratching. "You're an unusual woman, Annie."