by Jay Bell
“Any pointers?”
Kelly glanced up to find William standing in front of him. His chest was heaving, his normally blond hair closer to brown now that it was drenched in sweat. He wasn’t glaring. Nor was he smiling. The question didn’t seem to be rhetorical, so Kelly decided to answer it. “Go home and watch YouTube.”’
“Funny,” William said, shaking his head and starting to turn away.
“I mean it,” Kelly said. “Search for videos of sprinters running in slow motion. They look like they’re leaping over and over again. It’s practically ballet. Do the same with distance runners. Notice how they move their arms and hold their bodies. Running isn’t just practice. It’s form.”’
William, hands on his hips, considered the words and nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”’
“No problem.” Of course, a lot would have to change if William hoped to keep up with Jared. Even if Kelly decided to coach him, skills like these weren’t learned overnight. William’s only hope was to get a large lead during the swimming portion. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your strength? You don’t want to fall behind.”’
“Swimming?” William asked. “I do that every morning. I’m not going to forget how.”’
Snarky! Kelly liked that. “Where do you practice? The school doesn’t have a pool. Do you fill up one of those plastic kiddie pools to flail around in?”
“Something like that,” William said, appearing amused. “There’s a public pool down the road. They set aside certain hours for the school. Not in the morning though, which is when I like to swim, but the YMCA not far from here opens nice and early. Thanks for the pointers. I gotta get to work now.”
“Wow,” Kelly said. “When do you find time to sleep?”
“That’s what class is for.” William winked. “See you around.”
He turned and strolled back toward the school. Kelly watched him and shook his head. Nice guy, not that it would matter. He remained convinced that Jared had the advantage. Maybe not in the water, but he’d be lighter on the bike and thus faster. And when it came to running, there was only one person in school faster than Jared.
Oh.
He considered the idea. Why not? Just entering the triathlon would unnerve Jared enough to cause his defeat. Unless anger spurred him on like it had last time. Regardless, Kelly stood a very good chance. At least when it came to the running segment of the event. He hadn’t ridden a bike since he’d gotten his driver’s license, and when at a pool, he played around instead of doing laps. He’d have to start practicing right away. Or early tomorrow. Kelly watched the quickly receding figure in the distance and smiled.
The morning remained dark in all but the easternmost sky, where an orange glow hinted of the day to come. Kelly stood outside the YMCA and shivered. Arriving here so early had seemed humorous, since it meant he might run into William. Fitting revenge for him encroaching on Kelly’s territory. Now, glancing around the parking lot, Kelly realized he had no idea what William’s car looked like, or if this was even the right YMCA, since Austin had more than one. With only forty minutes remaining until class started, he adjusted the backpack slung over one shoulder and went inside.
“Good morning!” said the woman behind the reception desk.
Kelly winced at her enthusiasm. How could anyone feel so cheerful this early in the morning? “Hi,” he managed to respond.
The woman scrunched up her nose and smiled. “What can I do you for, hon?”
Ugh. “I want to swim.”
“Great! Are you a member? No? Well, the good news is that your first time here is free. After that, the daily rate is eight dollars, so the membership pays for itself very quickly. If you enjoy yourself, I highly recommend it, but today we invite you to go exploring and see everything the YMCA has to offer.”
So. Many. Words. Kelly took the pass the woman slid across the desk and considered asking if anyone else was at the pool today. Fearing this question would trigger more chipper conversation, instead he nodded cordially and headed deeper into the building. The signs made finding the locker room easy. Kelly changed into his swim trunks, his feet cold on the tile floor as he hurried across it toward the connecting pool. Maybe he’d hit the hot tub instead. Assuming the YMCA had one.
He stumbled into the swimming area and paused, impressed by its size. Sky lights above allowed sun to filter in, or would have if it had fully risen. Fluorescent lights lining the walls compensated, illuminating the large pool. One half was open, a diving board off to one side. The other half was divided into lanes. Only two other people were in the water. An old lady—complete with bathing cap—waded around in the open side of the pool, while in the dedicated lanes, a body was churning through the water like the paddlewheel of a steamboat. He couldn’t be sure if it was William or not, but the pale arms plunging in great arcs looked about right.
Kelly walked over to the lanes, abandoned his towel, and dived right in. He did his best to focus on getting his body moving and warm. Last night he’d taken his own advice and watched YouTube videos, studying swimming techniques. The front crawl seemed to be the best stroke for speed, so Kelly went with that one. Swimming lessons taken when he was a kid had taught him the basics, but he was seriously out of practice. He managed fairly well considering, except for when he reached the end of the lane. Professional swimmers turned around by flipping underwater and pushing off the wall. Or something like that. Kelly couldn’t figure it out, so each time he felt his hand touch the wall, he would stop and turn around.
He found this frustrating, since he was used to picking up speed and not stopping until the race was won or he was exhausted. Here he was forced to stop just as he was getting started. After about ten laps down the lane and back, Kelly noticed a figure standing at the edge of the pool, watching him and drying off. William’s baffled expression was priceless.
“Got any tips?” Kelly asked as he pulled himself out of the water.
William stared a second longer, then looked him up and down. “Lose the swim trunks.”
“Skinny dipping?” Kelly glanced over to where the old lady was still wading around. “Think she’ll mind?”
William snorted and shook his head. “I mean you should get a pair of these.” He tugged at the waistband of the skimpy blue briefs he wore and let the elastic fabric slap against his skin. “Those trunks you’re wearing are like a parachute behind you, dragging you back. Did you feel the water pulling on them when you climbed out?”
Kelly nodded. “So I need to buy some underwear from the little boys department instead.”
William held up his hands. “Joke all you want. My scuba panties will give me the edge in the triathlon. If your friend shares your fashion sense, he’ll never keep up with me in the water.”
Kelly was torn between smiling at William’s wit and frowning at the mention of Jared. He opted to do neither and instead fetched his towel to dry off. When he turned around, William had his own towel wrapped around his waist, which still left his impressive upper body exposed.
Kelly allowed himself to openly consider his physique as he dried off. “Maybe I should do some heavy lifting too. Is that how you move through the water so fast?”
William shook his head. “You have a better build for swimming than I do. Once I hit puberty, the weight started piling on. Because of that, I’m not so fast. Normally I don’t care. Endurance is more important to me.” Kelly didn’t hide his puzzlement. “Not big on racing?”
“Not usually. I’m training to be in the Coast Guard.”
“You know they’ve got boats these days, right?” Kelly said. “You don’t have to swim everywhere.”
William smiled. “We’d better get going. School starts in fifteen minutes.”
Kelly followed him back into the changing room, glad their lockers were in different aisles since the dynamic was starting to remind him of Jared. Despite being two rows over, William continued their conversation.
“How come you’re here instead of your friend? I got the
impression you weren’t entering the triathlon.”
Kelly hesitated while pulling on his jeans. “I changed my mind.” “Oh.”
“Does that scare you?” Kelly asked. “Is that the sound of your knees knocking together?”
“After what I saw today,” William said, “I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“Harsh!” Kelly said, grinning to himself. “But probably true.”
“Of course I haven’t seen you running yet. I’ve heard there’s no one faster. Then again, you were the one who told me that, so...”
“I’ll be on the track this afternoon. After school. Come and see.” Kelly heard the sound of a locker slamming shut and a few footsteps, which paused briefly. “Yeah, okay. See you there.” Then the footsteps resumed. A door squeaked open and closed again before the room went silent.
Kelly felt unsettled as he finished getting dressed. William seemed like a nice guy, but getting chummy with him neared treachery, even if he and Jared weren’t speaking anymore. William was also back to being the competition. Maybe treating him as an enemy was too extreme, but Kelly didn’t plan on being friends with him. Regardless, at least the end of the school day now promised more than just a lonely ride home.
Of all the organs in the human body, the heart is by far the most treacherous. For centuries poets have claimed that love originates in the heart, radiating forth from this most special of places. But like most factories, the heart pumps out more than one product. Desire and desperation are two of its most popular exports, but most notorious of all —and perhaps the most damaging—is false hope.
Jared was back, and Kelly couldn’t help but feel optimistic. Surely his friend had missed him during their day apart and had used the time to reconsider his actions. A new morning, a fresh start. Jared stood at his locker, twirling the combination lock to reset it. When he turned and saw Kelly staring, he gave a quick upward nod before heading to class.
Okay. Not exactly an apology. But he hadn’t avoided Kelly outright like before. Kelly waited impatiently through his first two classes, watching the clock intently like the final day before summer break. He and Jared always met between second and third period. Would they do so again? When the bell rang, Kelly practically sprinted down the hall to reach his locker first. Then he waited. Sure enough, Jared showed up just like he always did. He made eye contact with Kelly and even offered a greeting.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good,” Kelly said. He struggled to find words, grasping for something to say as Jared opened his locker and began swapping books. Eventually he settled for the most recent gossip. “Did you hear that Felicia Sanders might be pregnant? Keep in mind how she’s always fawning over that teacher’s assistant. You know, the one with the big Elvis sideburns?”
Jared shut his locker door, gave a half-hearted smile, and walked away. Kelly stared after him a moment before sighing in resignation. Of course. Why would anything have changed overnight? Why bother hoping for a little compassion and understanding? Stupid treacherous heart.
Kelly spent the next class period wishing it would never end, because afterwards he would be heading to lunch. That meant half an hour sitting at the same table as Jared. He already knew what would happen. Jared would engage their friends in conversation, steadily ignoring Kelly or responding with the bare minimum. Kelly could sit elsewhere, but eating alone would be pathetic. He wouldn’t let Jared win so easily, but he did take his sweet time walking to the cafeteria. After buying his food and sitting down with his tray, Kelly prepared himself for the worst... and had greatly underestimated what that would be.
Jared was already deep in conversation with one of their teammates from track. Just as Kelly had imagined. What he hadn’t expected were the guarded expressions—how every person seated there seemed to reevaluate him. They still greeted him, still responded to conversation he made, but somehow everyone felt distant.
Had Jared told them? Did they know now that Kelly was gay? Surely not, because that would implicate Jared. The one reason they were no longer friends was because Jared didn’t want to be gay by association. Outing Kelly to the school would only spread more rumors about their relationship. Jared understood that, didn’t he?
“—my girlfriend—”
Kelly only heard a snippet of the conversation, but these two words were enough to make his head whip up as Jared continued speaking.
“—matching rings. We’ve been together for one whole day. Isn’t that a little fast?”
“Maybe she moves fast in other ways too,” joked one of the guys.
“Who?” Kelly said. His voice came out terse and faint, but he was heard anyway. A number of heads turned in his direction, one of the guys snorting. They knew, all right.
“Martha Huffman,” Jared answered smugly.
“Martha?” Kelly repeated disbelievingly.
He wasn’t totally surprised. Martha had left a note in Jared’s locker at the beginning of the year. Jared had been interested, but also concerned about his reputation, since Martha wasn’t exactly cool. She sported bright pink glasses, giggled when she was nervous—which was most of the time—and always wore a scarf, even in warm seasons. Despite being weird, she was cute in her own way. Regardless, Kelly had encouraged Jared to keep looking, hoping he would notice the person already at his side.
“She’s got a nice body,” said the guy across from him. “Not that you would have noticed.”
“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Kelly said. “I just didn’t think she was desperate enough to date Jared.”
The expressions at the table turned to surprise as they looked to Jared for a response. “Whatever,” he said with a shrug. “You’re just jealous.”
Now all eyes returned to Kelly, but he didn’t have a snappy comeback because it was true. He was jealous on so many levels that it made his head spin. He wanted to trade places with a nerdy girl in pink glasses. He wanted someone to leave a note in his locker declaring secret love for him. He wanted to be with Jared, or be with another guy, or be anything but single and the only gay person sitting at the table right now. Expressing any of this was impossible, so he just looked away. He tried his best to ignore the sniggering, or that the fried fat in his food was congealing as it turned cold. He tried to forget the entire world around him until the bell rang. Then he was on his feet, eager to flee.
Despair made a pass at him, but Kelly clenched his jaw, crossed his arms over his chest, and refused. The triathlon. Being the first across the finish line. Jared’s miserable face when he realized he had lost. These thoughts kept Kelly afloat throughout the remainder of the day. He would have his revenge.
When the sixth period bell rang, Kelly yearned to hit the track and start running, but his teacher kept the class behind to dole out an assignment. Kelly seethed during the delay and was first out the door when they were finally granted permission to leave. He headed straight to the locker room, got dressed, and walked outside. Halfway to the track, he stopped.
Jared was there. Kelly had been prepared for this possibility and had decided that it wouldn’t hold him back. But he hadn’t expected to see a girl with pink glasses in the bleachers, one who clapped happily when Jared sprinted past her. Kelly watched for a moment, noticing how well Jared was doing, but mostly taking in the smile plastered on Martha’s face. Did she have any idea how lucky she was? Probably, since Jared had steadfastly ignored her after getting her note. Now, all these months later, her wish had finally come true. That must be nice.
Sighing, Kelly turned and headed back to the locker room. Then he changed into his normal clothes. He was leaving when William appeared in the doorway.
“Hey! Sorry I’m late. Why do girls like to talk so much?”
Kelly just glanced at him, not wanting to hear about another happy heterosexual couple. Instead he moved forward, forcing William to step out of his way. This didn’t dissuade him from following Kelly down the hall.
“Aren’t you training today?” William asked. “Wait, d
on’t tell me you’re done already! You’re not that fast, are you?”
Kelly shook his head. “Not quite.”
“Then where are you going?”
Kelly considered his options. “I’m going to get in my car, find a really tall bridge, and drive off of it.”
“Awesome,” William said. “Mind if I tag along?”
Kelly glanced over at him. “You have a death wish?”
“Not really, but I was hoping you could give me a ride home on your way. I’ve been biking to school every day, and honestly, my legs are still sore from the run yesterday and everything else.”
“You need to take a break,” Kelly said. “Give your muscles time to heal and build up.” He glanced over at William. “Not that you need to get any bigger. You really want a ride?”
William adjusted the pack hanging off one shoulder. “If you don’t mind. There aren’t any bridges on the way to my house, so we should be okay.”
“I thought you had an after-school job.”
“I started a lawn mowing business when I was twelve. Most of my clients have moved away or now have kids old enough to do it themselves, but some still depend on me. I’m not busy every day, leaving my afternoons free to beg strangers for rides.”
Kelly allowed himself to feel amused. Was William always so chipper? If so, being around him could be nice. Kelly had promised himself not to get too friendly, but then again, he needed a new best friend. He had Bonnie, but she went to a different school. As they reached the car, he considered William over the top of it and felt less certain. Preferably his new friend would be someone impossible for him to develop a crush on. Like a girl. He wasn’t eager to experience another Jared. A cool breeze blew across the parking lot, so he pulled the light jacket he wore closer to his body.
