Something Like Lightning

by Jay Bell

  Married life at seventeen. Who would have thought?

  Kelly lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, willing the dream to continue so he could bask in the sensation of movement again. He wouldn’t have to pretend for long. Today was the day. Might as well get up and get ready, especially considering how long it took. Besides, he really had to pee, and he couldn’t exactly rush to the toilet. Kelly rolled over and sat up with little effort, reaching for the forearm crutches leaning against the wall.

  This was enough to wake William. “Need help?” he asked blearily.

  “Nope.” It was the same question every morning and the same answer, but he loved William for still caring after three whole months of this. If the roles were reversed, Kelly would have covered his head with a pillow and let poor William drag himself to the bathroom. Getting his crutches into position, he pushed himself up, barely swaying as he found his balance. He was improving, not that it would matter soon.

  He hurried to the bathroom attached to the master bedroom, which was now his. Kelly’s parents had made this sacrifice so he wouldn’t have to deal with stairs. On mornings like these, when his bladder felt ready to burst, he also appreciated the nearness of the bathroom. Sleeping naked meant not having to fiddle with pajama bottoms. As soon as Kelly reached the toilet, all he had to do was turn around, carefully lower himself down while counterbalancing, and take a small leap of faith. He plopped down on the toilet seat and sighed. Oh how he missed the days when all he had to do was whip it out and point!

  Once finished, he struggled to stand again, ignoring the bar his father had installed on the wall. Then he stared at the shower, debating how he was going to proceed today. Sometimes he took his crutches in with him, just because it made him feel slightly more normal to be standing. When it came time to soap up, he was forced to use the special flip-down seat. He despised this. Who took a shower sitting down? Glaring at the bathtub in general, he turned to the medicine cabinet, opened it, and grabbed his bottle of painkillers. Then he remembered it was empty. He’d been cut off two days ago. Kelly had agreed at the time, and while he wasn’t hurting physically, he now felt emotionally vulnerable. He opened the bottle, just on the off chance one lonely pill sat forgotten at the bottom. There wasn’t one, of course, but he did notice the film of powder that lined the inside. He was considering licking it when William padded through the door.

  “You okay?” he yawned. Instead of waiting for an answer, he made use of the toilet.

  Kelly glanced over at him, taking note of his body, the curve of his shoulders, the impressive pecs, and the little glimpse of his cock that could be seen past his hip. Being off the painkillers might make him feel raw inside, but it also brought back his sexual appetite. Not that their love life had died completely. Over the summer, Kelly would long to be close to William or worry about meeting his needs. On such occasions, he would make the effort, despite being too numb to enjoy himself much. Now his craving for sex had returned like a hungry demon, his skin tingling at the idea.

  He turned and leaned against the counter, leaving his naked body in full view, including his erection. This didn’t go unnoticed.

  William glanced over at him and smirked. “Want to hop in the shower together?”

  “I wish.” Kelly glanced back at the plastic seat and frowned. “I swear, as soon as the prosthetic leg goes on, I’m never taking it off and I’m never sitting again.”

  William followed his gaze. “You don’t like sitting in the shower? It’s so convenient.”

  “Are you telling me that you’ve been using my cripple seat?”

  “Don’t call it that.” William repressed a smile. “And yes. I do like it. Hell, I was thinking about installing a waterproof couch in there.”

  “You’re so lazy.”

  “Maybe. You still haven’t answered my question. Do you want to take a shower with me?”

  “Who gets the seat?”

  “Neither of us,” William said. “Come on. I’ll hold you.”

  Kelly hesitated. The offer sounded appealing, but he wasn’t entirely nude. Not exactly. He still had on his shrinker sock—tight fabric that helped compress his stump, keeping the swelling down to ensure that what remained was a manageable size for his prosthesis. While he didn’t need to wear it when he slept, he did so anyway. Anything to make sure that today went smoothly. He wanted his new leg to fit perfectly, returning him to the mobility he’d once cherished. And of course the sock hid his amputation. Kelly didn’t like anyone to see it. He wasn’t ashamed exactly, but for William especially, he worried about sex appeal. So Kelly normally had it covered, something that would be impossible in the shower.

  “Was it something I said?” William came closer and cupped his hand over Kelly’s cock, which was now drooping. “I promise I won’t let you fall.”

  “It’s not that,” Kelly said.

  William searched his eyes. “I love all of you. Even the parts that aren’t there.”

  Kelly snorted. “Nice line.”

  “It’s working,” William said, rubbing his hand up and down.

  “All right. You should probably get in first. Then I’ll join you.”

  William kissed him and went to start the shower. Kelly balanced himself against the counter and took off his sock, glancing up to see if William was staring in horror, but he wasn’t paying attention. The “residual limb” as the doctors tended to call it, didn’t look so bad. No ghastly scars or twisted tissue. The shape put Kelly in mind of someone folding their arm to expose their elbow. His thigh simply tapered off into a rounded edge, all of it covered in healthy dark skin, just like the rest of him.

  “Come,” William said, holding open the curtain.

  Kelly left his crutches where they were, hopping forward on one leg. This was a trick he was proud of. His balance had been off when he first returned from the hospital, but now he could hop all over the place without too much trouble. Of course he couldn’t safely hop into a tub, but as soon as he was close enough, William wrapped an arm around his waist and helped him step in.

  And it felt great standing up with both his hands free. William held him close, their torsos pressed against each other, and as horny as Kelly was, he felt more excited about taking a shower like he used to.

  “Let me turn around,” he said.

  “Straight to business this morning!” William said.

  Kelly rolled his eyes playfully. “Just hold on tight.”

  If William expected the ride of his life, he was in for a disappointment. As soon as Kelly was turned around, he leaned over and grabbed the bottle of shampoo. After a suds and rinse, he did the same with the conditioner.

  “Uh,” William said.

  “Hold your horses,” Kelly teased, reaching for the body wash.

  “Does that make you my horse?”

  “Ha ha,” Kelly deadpanned, even though he was grinning. Maybe the body soap could wait. William was still hard and rubbing up against his ass cheeks. Kelly wasn’t going to risk one-legged anal sex in the shower. That sounded riskier than juggling fire or swallowing swords. But he realized the seat in the shower might still be put to good use. A moment later he confirmed his findings. The perfect height. Soon William was thrusting in his mouth, Kelly taking care of himself with his free hand. Neither of them lasted long. Today was different, and not just because he was off the drugs. For the first time in months, their lives would return to the way they had once been. Kelly was excited, and William seemed optimistic too.

  “I love you,” he whispered, helping Kelly stand again.

  “I love you too,” Kelly said in equally hushed tones. “Are we trying not to wake my parents or something?”

  William’s features wanted to smile, but concern got there first. “Are they tagging along today?”

  “I’m finally getting my prosthetic leg,” Kelly said. “Of course they’re going to be there.”

  “Do they have to be?”

  Oh. He didn’t need an explanation. His parents still ha
dn’t forgiven William. Royal had done so after Kelly had given him a pep talk, but his parents still made cutting remarks. They blamed William for the accident. Maybe it was his fault technically, but he hadn’t meant for either of them to get hurt. Regardless, they seemed intent on punishing him. That William was there for Kelly day and night, tending to his every need, didn’t seem to count for anything. Nothing he could do or say would ever be enough for them.

  “I’ll take care of it,” Kelly said. “Today it’ll just be you and me.”

  “Just me and you, huh?” William murmured.

  “No complaining back there,” Bonnie said, “or I’ll turn this car around!”

  She wouldn’t, of course. Bonnie had been wonderful since the accident and had more than paid back all the rides Kelly had given her. Despite still possessing their driver’s licenses, William was unwilling to drive and Kelly didn’t think he was able. Switching to his left leg probably wouldn’t be a big adjustment, but like William, the idea of being behind the wheel made him nervous. He knew now how lifechanging one miscalculation could be. William didn’t even enjoy being a passenger anymore, preferring to bike everywhere or take a bus if Kelly was with him.

  “You boys just keep those hands where I can see them,” Bonnie said, eyes narrowing in the rearview mirror. “No funny business in the Bitchmobile.”

  “There’s nothing funny about my business,” Kelly said. Then, more seriously, he added, “Thanks for the ride. I don’t want you to feel used or anything. You know I love you, right?”

  Bonnie’s eyes softened as they flicked back and forth between him and the road. “It’s no big deal.” After a beat, she added, “Even though it is starting to feel like Driving Miss Daisy in reverse. You pumped?”

  “About my new peg leg?” Kelly asked. “Hell yeah!”

  “So am I. Maybe we can walk the mall in celebration afterwards.”

  “Why not?”

  He nearly begged Bonnie to speed the rest of the way to the medical center. In the waiting room, Kelly wished he already had the leg so he could pace back and forth. He tried doing so using his forearm crutches before William made him sit down. Then his name was called. They were shown to a private room where the prosthetist met them with the prosthesis. He and William had joked about these terms during their visit two weeks ago when Kelly had been fitted. Especially ‘prosthetist,’ which hardly rolled off the tongue. Luckily, the prosthetist in question preferred to be called Michael.

  “Here we go,” he said, entering the room while holding an absolute treasure, even if the leg didn’t look like much.

  The wooden foot was especially primitive, but that would soon be covered in the extra shoe Kelly had brought along. A silver metal pole attached it to a knee joint, above this the socket—a clear plastic cup molded to fit his stump so perfectly that it created a vacuum seal. The cup was longer than Kelly had expected. After putting on a special sock, the socket was placed over it, the plastic covering most of his remaining leg and continuing right up to his pelvis. The edge of this hugged one hip, the back of the socket partially supported one butt cheek, and farther around, the plastic rim pressed into his crotch. Not exactly comfortable, but he focused on the positive: His new leg was attached. He was whole again.

  “How does that feel?” Michael asked.

  “A little tight,” Kelly said. He was still sitting and already felt discomfort.

  “I noticed that,” Michael said. “Have you been wearing your compression sock?”

  “Yeah,” Kelly said, “even while I sleep. The only time I don’t have it on is in the shower.”

  “Did you take one this morning?”

  Kelly nodded.

  “That could be it, especially if you were upright a lot. In the future you might want to only shower or bathe at night when temporary swelling won’t matter.”

  “I can’t use this thing in the shower?” Kelly asked, looking down at it. “What if I wrap the foot up so it doesn’t get wet?”

  Michael shook his head. “Not this leg. You need to keep it dry. Some of the components are prone to rusting. Ready to try walking?”

  “Sure.”

  In Kelly’s frequent fantasies about this moment, he was like a newborn foal. Once helped up, he would stumble around a few times before finding his feet. Then he would walk for the first time since the accident. Afterwards he would celebrate by tap dancing around the room. Maybe that last part wasn’t realistic, but he truly believed the rest was possible.

  Instead he found himself between two parallel bars, holding on to them for dear life as he tried to make his new leg do what he needed it to. Getting the knee to bend, relying on gravity instead of muscle, was alien to him. His weight rested not on the foot as much as the top of the socket by his hip. The prosthetist described it as sitting and walking at the same time. As if that made sense! After nearly an hour of coaching, he managed to walk, but only while keeping one hand on the rail.

  “Takes some getting used to,” Michael said as he helped Kelly sit again. “You’ll do fine. Stick with it for a week, use your crutches while wearing the leg, and let yourself adjust slowly.”

  “I have school in two days,” Kelly said. When it was clear Michael didn’t understand the implication, he added, “I was hoping not to need my crutches by then.”

  “You’ll always need them,” Michael said. “When you’re at home at the end of the day, you’ll want to remove the leg. I’m told it’s like taking off a pair of shoes. Even the most comfortable sneakers get old after a while. Or, if there are ever problems with your leg and it needs to get repaired—”

  “Does that happen a lot?”

  Michael exhaled. “The average leg lasts three years, but some I’ve built have lasted over a decade. With a lot of care and regular maintenance, you’ll get a good amount of use.”

  Kelly looked down at the leg, feeling disappointed. This would be harder than he thought, but the end goal, that dream he’d had this morning, surely that was still in sight. “Once I get used to walking, how long until I can run?”

  Michael raised his eyebrows. “Oh. I don’t recommend running with this model. Uh, this is probably something you should talk over with your parents. Other prosthetics are available for specialty functions, and some amazing products are hitting the market now. But you need to be aware of cost, and what your insurance company will and won’t cover. The good news is that someone your age should adapt quickly. With the right equipment and a lot of determination, you’ll find very few limits to what you can do. But those specialty prosthetics—or even the normal ones—add up quickly and not just in the initial cost. You’re looking at over half a million dollars in lifetime maintenance. So it’s important to plan carefully and be selective about what you do and don’t need.”

  Kelly just stared at him numbly. Half a million dollars? He looked to William and Bonnie, who quickly hid their shocked expressions. At least William did. Bonnie mouthed the words, “Holy shit!”

  “Master this leg first,” Michael said. “That’s your goal. Running we can talk about some other time. See you next week?”

  Kelly was quiet as he returned to the front desk, nodding at the offered appointment and allowing William to take the pamphlets and papers Kelly was supposed to review. His leg required a lot of care, like a pet, except it wasn’t furry or cuddly. In fact, he was already beginning to hate it. Not only did he have crutches to deal with, but now he had dead weight hanging off one limb. And riding up on his butt uncomfortably. The optimism he’d felt this morning now seemed like childish naivete.

  “So what do you think?” William asked when Bonnie went to fetch the car.

  Kelly sighed. “Can you call my doctor about getting a refill on my pain meds?”

  “Does it hurt that bad?”

  “Not really.”

  “Then why—”

  “Those pills are good for more than just physical pain,” Kelly said. “One more refill. Please.”

  William shrugged. “I c
an try. I don’t mind, but why don’t you call?”

  “Because people really like you,” Kelly said, managing a smile. “You’re charming.”

  “Am I?”

  “You can be.”

  William smiled back. Then he reached over and put a hand on Kelly’s, which was gripping the handle of his crutch. “This is going to change everything,” he said. “You’ll see.”

  Kelly felt it already had. Just not in the way he’d hoped for.

  Kelly remembered most first days of school, each of them full of the jitters. His mother dropping him off at Kindergarten and how he’d cried and cried. Grade school, which he’d faced bravely, feeling ridiculously grown up. Junior high, which had forced him to seek out new friends because everyone seemed scattered by this much larger arena. And high school, which had come as a relief, because people in his youth group had promised that individualism was more accepted there. Now, despite being a senior at the top of the high school food chain, Kelly felt nervous all over again. Especially when he looked in the mirror.

  The black pants helped hide the folded fabric where one leg ended much too soon. The burnt orange dress shirt complimented his skin tone and brought out the gold in his eyes, the cut tight enough to show of his physique. He’d been knocked down, but he wasn’t feeble and weak. If anything, his upper body was constantly getting an extra workout, compensating for what was missing below. From the waist up, he looked good. Not like a guy who had nearly lost his life at the beginning of summer.

  “Damn,” William said, coming up behind him and planting a quick kiss on his neck. “What’s the occasion?”

  “Everyone’s going to be looking at us,” Kelly said. “I’d rather they bite their bottom lips in lust than give me one of those awful pity smiles.”

  “You’ll definitely be turning heads. Think I should change? Or maybe strut around shirtless?”

  William stepped out from behind him. Yet another polo shirt, this one lemon yellow. If the pants were white instead of worn blue jeans, he’d seem like he was heading out for a day on the golf course. He looked good anyway. Throw a trash bag over that body and those curves would still bulge from beneath it, notching up the sex appeal. Maybe they had time for a quick—