by London Casey
I grabbed at the ring in my pocket and dropped to one knee. I slammed my hand to the ground, curling my lip.
“This is the last one,” I said. “I mean it this time.”
I had the first handful of dirt when I shut my eyes.
I felt like someone had ripped my stomach out.
I took a deep breath to calm down.
And then I heard the sound of tires crunching over rocks.
I looked up, and I swore it had to be a damn mirage. A car pulling up along the dirt path. Only a crazy person would try and navigate these back roads in a car. All it took was one little slip and you were screwed. Hell, and if it started to rain, you’d sink into the ground without four-wheel drive.
But sure enough, there was a car coming.
I slowly stood up, blinking, half-convinced the car was going to disappear.
Nope.
The car made a right turn and stopped.
The dirt fell out of my hand. I wiped my hand on my jeans. I tucked the diamond ring away and took two steps forward. Whoever this was, they were sure as hell lost. I’d probably have to help them get off the mountain and back to paved roads where they belonged.
The passenger window started to go down. I crouched a little and gave a wave.
That’s when I saw her face.
Time fucking stopped.
I froze.
I couldn’t blink.
I couldn’t even fucking think for a few seconds.
It was her.
It was Lacey.
Ten years had stripped away any remaining girlish features and replaced them with a beautiful, womanly figure. Her face was as pretty as I remembered, her hair a little different, probably from dying it different colors or something. Her eyes were the same. Exactly the damn same. The eyes that could rip into my hard chest, find my heart, and tear it up in a way a fire could tear through the woods all around me.
I stepped forward, my brain screaming that Lacey was here.
She’d finally come!
“Lacey,” I called out. “You’re here…”
Lacey just stared back at me. She was in as much shock as me. She probably figured I would never be here. Oh, but she had no idea. No fucking idea what I’d done year after year for her.
“River,” she said.
Her voice was soft, shaky, but it was her voice. Her angelic voice, something so unique that I could pick up on it if I were blind.
I hurried toward the car.
I had thought about this moment for years. Ten years, to be exact. Ten years I waited for her to come to this spot and meet me. And in all that time, I never really thought about what would happen. At some times, I pictured myself just dropping to one knee and showing her the ring in my pocket. Other times, I pictured her getting out of her car, jumping into my arms, and then the years would all be erased.
Never did I imagine what would happen next.
Before I could get around the car to the driver’s side door, the car started to back up.
Then the car picked up speed.
Lacey was trying to leave me again.
Lacey
PRESENT DAY
When I made the turn off the main road to the dirt, I stopped. I couldn’t believe that I remembered where to go. Like it was engraved in my memory. All the nights I’d been with River as he’d drive his beat-up pickup truck along that dirt road. Most of the times, it had been night. The truck would bounce over every rock and into every divot in the road. He’d speed up, scare me so I’d reach for him. He’d pull me across the seat and hold me tight as we drove.
There were even a few times when I was too busy doing something else, and the last thing I was worried about was the road.
We were always going to the abandoned house first, then the rock. The night I left, he was hammered drunk. The last moments of us together…his hands were all over me. Our bodies together one more time. Probably the last time I felt real pleasure. The kind that I could just enjoy without forcing it. Something real and raw.
That’s exactly what River was.
Real and raw.
I started to drive again and really didn’t think my car was going to make it. The car bounced and bumped everywhere. But I had come so far already that there was no stopping me then.
I saw a small clearing and the outline of a cabin through the trees. Then I saw the giant rock. There was no mistaking that rock. I started to cut the wheel to the right, and a figure popped up out of nowhere. It scared me, and I stopped. I shook my head and stared.
Honestly, I wasn’t a gambling person, but the odds of River actually showing up seemed to be slim to none. So when I saw River standing at the rock, I didn’t know what to do. I honestly thought I’d go there, be alone, cry longer than I needed to do so, and then go back home.
Instead, I put the passenger window down as though that would erase the image of River standing there.
It didn’t work.
He was really there.
It was really River.
My eyes walked down and back up his body, seeing him as the man he had always been. There was never a boyish thing about him. Even if I tried to convince myself for years that River was just a boy I used to love. It’s what attracted me to him so instantly all those years ago. His face had aged a little, but he managed to age with perfection. That cut jaw, complete with scruff. The shape of his face. His eyes, those beautiful brown eyes that could take my pulse from resting to panic in a second.
“Lacey,” he called to me. “You’re here.”
His voice trailed off as he approached the car.
I figured he would stick his head into the passenger window.
Then what? What are you going to do, Lacey? What are you going to say to him? It’s been ten years. How hard did you really try to find him? How hard did he really try to find you? Why now? Why…
“River,” I managed to say, just needing to get his name off my chest.
River started to walk around the front of the car.
I gripped the steering wheel. Suddenly, our entire past flashed through my mind. From the wild beginning to the heartbreaking end. Everything my parents said and did. Being whisked away to another state, across the country, forced into a new college, a new life. Trying to manage. Thinking I found love twice. Wearing an engagement ring for a little while. Almost wearing another one.
Before I knew what I was doing, I had thrown the car into reverse.
In the big open woods, I felt like there was no air to breathe.
My car crept backward as I stared at River. A quick look of hurt and confusion swept across his face.
I shut my eyes for only a second, but in that second, I lost all sense of direction.
I opened my eyes, hit the gas pedal, and looked around. I was flying back, and I cut the wheel to turn the car. I hit the dirt, bounced over some rocks, my body instantly panicked. I looked over my right shoulder and tried to straighten the wheel, but it was too late. There was a big tree that looked hardly an inch away. I slammed on the brakes, cut the wheel to the other side, and felt the car skid and stop with a thud.
No, I hadn’t hit the tree.
I’d lost my back left tire to a small ditch off the dirt road.
I put the car into drive and hit the gas pedal. The car tried to move forward, but I was stuck. The tires spun and pulled but there was no getting the back tire out of the ditch.
I looked forward and saw River walking to the end of the gravel driveway. He stood there and stared at me.
How stupid did I look then?
Waiting ten years to see him, then freaking out and trying to escape.
I released my grip on the wheel and showed my hands like I was busted criminal. I shrugged my shoulders.
River started to walk toward me again.
If the day couldn’t get any more overwhelming…
I burst into tears.
Just like that, River was back in my life. He opened the door to my car and offered his hand silently. I took it, tears runn
ing down my cheeks. I got out of the car and wanted to jump into his arms. I wanted him to lift me up and hold me. Carry me away from everything.
Instead, I just stood there, looking up at him. He was still holding my hand.
“Lacey,” he said. “You came. Finally.”
He didn’t ask about the tears. He didn’t make me feel stupid for crying. Because that’s not what he did. He never made me feel stupid or guilty or worried. He never tore into me over anything.
Yet I had just tried to run from him.
“River,” I said. “Holy shit. River.”
He laughed. His smile was addicting. The only time I could say he looked cute. He slowly reached up and wiped away a few stray tears off my face.
“You got yourself there,” he said.
“I know. I fucked up.”
“No, you didn’t fuck anything up, Lacey.”
“I don’t know why…” I shook my head. “River, I didn’t think you’d actually be here. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry for anything,” he said. “You came. I’m here. It’s what we talked about, right?”
“I just…I don’t know what to do next.”
“The good news is that nobody travels this back road. So your car is fine the way it is.”
“It’s stuck.”
“I can get you out of there, okay? But before that, come for a walk with me.”
I just stared at him, feeling lost and in awe. This felt like the first time I’d met him. Through all the people in the world, it was his eyes that were locked to mine. His command over me.
We walked to the big rock.
Just seeing it there was enough to give me butterflies. Memories flooded through my heart and my mind. The nights. The stars. The warm whiskey. The warmer kisses.
I looked at River and felt a warmth spread through my body.
Ten years. Ten full years.
“This is where we said,” he said to me. “This spot right here. Right?”
“Yeah.” I pointed behind River. “Is that cabin yours?”
“No,” he said. “A friend built it. He doesn’t use it that much. I have a key to the place. I come up and check on things. Check on him.”
“You’ve been here more than just today?” I asked.
River put a hand to the rock and grinned. “Ten years, darling. What have you been doing for ten years?”
I smiled and shook my head. “Nothing that seems important now.”
“Hey. Anything you do is important, Lacey. You know that. Nothing matters but going forward from here on out, okay? We did it. We made it through whatever we had to to get to this moment. That has to mean something, right?”
“I’m sorry I tried to drive away,” I said. “I panicked, River.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” I said. “You were always living so fast. I figured you’d be doing something amazing by now.”
River grinned. He reached for my hand and took it. How could ten years feel so long yet the simple touch of his hand to mine make it feel like it had only been a week since I’d seen him last?
“I’m a tattoo artist,” he said. “I work a little ways from here in Hundred Falls Valley. A shop called St. Skin.”
“I’ve heard of that place,” I said. “I’m an hour north of here. I actually ended up in Washington for a long time.”
“Wow. You skipped back across the country, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s a long story.”
“And it just so happens I’ve got nothing but time,” River said. “And you don’t have to run from me.”
His thumb slid over my hand. His touch sent tingling through my arm and right to other places.
“It was more than you just being here,” I admitted.
“Meaning what?”
“I saw you and it all hit me again. Ten years, River. The memories of us played, but then I wondered about you. Girlfriend? Married? Kids? Life?”
“Would that hurt you?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Is that bitchy of me to say?”
“God, you’re so beautiful, Lacey,” River said. “Look what time has done to you. I should be the one jealous of everyone that’s gotten to meet you and experience you in the past ten years.”
My lips made an oh shape, but no sound came out.
He was still as sexy as ever. Not just in his looks, either.
Slowly, River reached with his other hand, touching my waist. Things were moving way too fast, even as they were moving slow. I stuttered forward, and River made a quick move, spinning me around. My back was against the rock. It was like really stepping back in time then. The last time I was in that position, it had been dark. And River started kissing my lips, then moved down to my neck. Then he kept going…and I looked up to the stars…and by the time he was done, I was seeing stars and I didn’t need to look to the sky to see them.
River was close to me. So fucking close.
I lifted my hands and put them to his chest. He was sturdier than I remembered. New, hard muscle. Bigger muscle. Muscle earned through years of surviving.
“I need to know,” I said. “About you.”
“Darling, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t true to me.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means there’s nobody but you,” he said. “I’m not married. I don’t have kids. I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Shit,” I whispered.
River reached beyond me and got so close I could smell his skin. I shut my eyes for a second as I did so. The rush that went through my body was everything that had been missing.
It almost seemed cruel and unfair that he had turned into this wickedly beautiful man. His big arms, muscles cascading everywhere. His short and messy hair. The kind of hair where he just woke up and lived, not caring what it looked like. And being a tattoo artist? That was a huge turn-on. I knew River was meant for something like that. He was forever drawing, showing hints at an artistic side, but never able to explore it because he was either fighting for money or hunched over a car, trying to fix it.
“I’m prou…”
The words stalled in a whisper.
River then showed me a pack of cigarettes. “For old times’ sake?”
I smiled. “I thought you’d never offer.”
River backed away a little, and I just stood there, looking at him.
He was here. I was here.
The boy I used to love.
The words rang out in my mind as he lit a cigarette.
My heart raced.
He was as cool and sexy as I could ever remember him.
River glanced at me and half-grinned.
I never thought this moment would actually happen. Which left me with one question.
What happens next?
River
PRESENT DAY
Beautiful wasn’t the right word. Fuck, the right word didn’t even exist for what Lacey looked like as she leaned against the big rock, her right arm tucked under her breast, her left hand holding the cigarette to her lips. She was goddamn stunning, a reminder that all the hearts I broke along the way really meant nothing to me.
“You still smoke?” I asked her.
“Not often,” she said. “I heard it’s bad for your health.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I heard that too. Sorry I corrupted you back then.”
“You did more than corrupt me, River,” Lacey said.
“Yeah, I did,” I said. “So, tell me about the last ten years of your life. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” Lacey said. “That didn’t work out.”
“So, your parents ripping you across the country didn’t work out? Who would have thought?”
I felt like I was being a dick. I had no reason to be a dick to her.
“River, I’m so sorry about that,” she said. “And everything in between. Time just…”
“Darlin’, it doesn’t matter now,” I said. “I’m sorry I said that.” I took
a deep drag of my smoke, dropped it, and stepped on it. “But the way I see it is this - we’re here. There’s a cabin. I have a key. You didn’t come all the way up here for a ten-minute visit, did you?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“And considering your car is stuck, I guess you’ve got nowhere to go.”
Lacey’s cheeks turned red. She finished her smoke and put it out against the rock. It took everything inside me not to grab her and kiss her. I balled my fists up tight, trying to keep myself under control. Trying to keep the situation under control. I thought about the ring in my pocket. My plan to just drop to one knee and ask her to marry me.
That was insane, right?
I knew nothing about her.
“I really have nowhere to go, River,” Lacey said. “I quit my job.”
“What did you do?”
“Hospice care nurse,” she said. “I would help those who were dying. Try to monitor them. Give them as much comfort as I could as they went.”
“Sounds like a hard job.”
“Some days, yeah. Someone I got close with passed away. Then there was some personal stuff going on… I just couldn’t deal with it. So, I quit.”
“Always a bad ass, Lacey.”
She laughed and snorted. “Me? Bad ass? Hardly.”
“Whoa, wait a second,” I said. “You’re the one who used to lie to get out of your house. You used to sneak with me in my truck to the old abandoned house. You did whatever it took to get what you wanted.”
“That’s true,” she said. “I guess I am a total bad ass.”
“Not to mention after ten years you showed up here. That’s a bold move.”
“The truth… it’s more desperation than anything else.”
I saw the look on Lacey’s face. It resembled the look the day she came to the garage to tell me she was moving. She was hurting. The last ten years hadn’t been kind to her. And it was probably my fault.
“You know, my life took a few twists and turns,” I said.
“I’ll stay for the day and night,” Lacey cut me off.
“Oh?”
“I have no job, River. I’m not broke, though. Don’t think I’m here looking for money.”
