Sleeper (Rise of the Fianna Book 1)

by Amy Brock McNew

  Too bad their mother was dead, and their father and sister were psychos.

  Straightening her shoulders, she glanced at Bowen and then Amanda. “Okay. Then how do I keep from becoming barbeque?”

  Amanda grinned. She faced forward, still holding Makenna’s hand. “We’ll do it together until you get the hang of it. I think I can help control it a little for you.” She motioned Bowen and Talon to stand back. “The first thing is to keep your emotions level. It’s tough in battle, because you get all keyed up. Especially in this one, it’s going to take focus.” A shadow passed over her eyes.

  Makenna squeezed her hand. “I’m sorry. I know it has to be weird, me getting prepared to kill your father and sister.”

  Makenna had no attachment to them, didn’t really see them as hers. For her, it was nearly the same as facing strangers. Mostly. She tried not to think about how she’d be killing her own flesh and blood.

  Amanda shook her head. “Don’t apologize. Talon and I left when we were twelve and fourteen. It wasn’t like Kylian was ever a father to us. We rarely saw him once he realized we wouldn’t fall in line like Brianna.” She looked down at the matching tattoos on their wrists, marking them as Callahans. Fire licked her chocolate eyes. “He killed our mother before we got to know her, and he’s torn our world apart. He has to die.”

  Her venomous tone shocked Makenna. She’d known Amanda was a warrior, but Rhys had said she was the mediator of the three sisters. That and the fact Makenna had never seen her fight had lulled Makenna into thinking of her as the soft, sweet one.

  What she saw right then wasn’t sweet or soft. Her sister was all warrior, standing tall and with a stone-cold face. The mediator had taken a back seat to the fighter who would kill without reservation if necessary.

  Makenna nodded. “All right, then. So how do we do this?”

  “Close your eyes and try to find complete calm. It may be different for you, but I think of the magic as swords. It allows me to strike with precision. Now imagine the blades laid out for you to pick up and use as you need them.”

  Makenna did as ordered. She saw her power as swords spread out on a black cloth, glowing red. The flames licked high, morphing into a bonfire. She shoved them down, forcing them to remain in the form she ordered. Sweat broke out on her brow.

  Finally, she gained control. “Got it.”

  “Pick up a blade and open your eyes.” Amanda pointed straight ahead. “See the target in front of the small hill?” Amanda extended her hand toward the target and motioned for Makenna to do the same. “Now, pick up one blade. That should release just enough power to set it on fire. We don’t want to blow it up. Think you can do that?”

  Makenna nodded, fighting to appear confident. Even when she wasn’t calling for it, the magic boiled inside her. Most of the time it just smoldered in her belly. When she got riled, it tried to spread like wildfire.

  She could feel Amanda reaching in with her own magic to help her bring it into submission. Her calm, gentle presence gave Makenna the chance to focus. She knew what she had to do.

  She was beginning to understand the goddess was not a separate entity, but merely another side of her. As was the wolf. Parts of her personality. Those parts had wants and needs, urges and predilections. But she had the final say.

  She imagined the parts she’d once seen as separate coming together as one. They merged like a ghost possessing a body. None of them would force their desires on the others. They would be stronger together, each part of her helping the others to accomplish whatever goal was before them.

  Her head snapped back. The union was complete.

  The flames on the imaginary blades in her mind died down, waiting for her to give the word. Amanda’s magic receded.

  She opened her eyes to Amanda’s smiling face. Her sister must’ve felt it happen.

  Makenna popped her eyebrows, her confidence renewed. “Let’s do this.”

  Amanda counted down. “On three. One, two, three!”

  Red flame shot from their hands in a controlled stream. It impacted the target dead center. The target burst into flames.

  “Yes!” Makenna pumped her fist. She felt a little sheepish as Bowen rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Sorry, got a little excited.”

  Exhilaration coursed through her. For the first time, she felt like she might deserve the gifts and position she’d been given. Deserved the fealty the pack showed her.

  She might actually be the Morrigan they needed.

  Amanda laughed. “You just did something it took me forever to master.” Her face turned serious. “You have to be careful. If you throw too much at once, you could hit something or someone you don’t mean to.” She released Makenna’s hand and stared off in the distance. “You can also burn something from the inside out. But that’s not something I can do. Bowen will have to teach you.”

  Makenna sobered. The reality that she was training to kill other beings sank in. The image of the attacker behind her apartment flashed through her mind. The separated head in the puddle stared back at her.

  Killer. Monster.

  Like her father. She may be on the other side, but the apple hadn’t landed far from the evil tree.

  Black thoughts rushed in. What if she was just like him?

  Makenna was just starting to feel at home, starting to settle into her place in this world, and tomorrow it could all be over. They could kill her. Or worse, what if Kylian convinced her to join him? She may not be as strong as she thought. What if seeing him and knowing he was her father made everything different than the times she’d met him as Three?

  What if everything she thought she had, all she thought she was, was a dream and not truly possible for someone like her?

  Talon put his arm around her. “Don’t think like that. You’re not like him. We kill because we have to. We fight to maintain balance and protect the innocent and our way of life.”

  She leaned into him, absorbing the comfort of her brother. It was a good feeling. The comfort of being loved and wanted, no matter what. Of knowing someone was there for her.

  She tried her hardest to smile. “I know. It just takes some getting used to.”

  He squeezed her tight and Amanda joined the hug.

  Family.

  She wished she could build the same with Rhys. But she was terrified of giving him everything. Terrified that her soul required his to be whole. As much as she wanted it, it would take time to come to terms with that.

  Time they may not have. It could all slip through her fingers at any moment. Probably would. She’d never been able to keep anyone she cared about before. Why would he be different?

  Bowen clapped his hands. “We have a few more hours before dinner, so let’s continue. There is much for you to learn.”

  They spent the rest of the day running through different scenarios and learning techniques. Bowen packed as much into their limited time as possible.

  Including how to fry a person from the inside out. She didn’t intend to use that particular skill unless there were no other options. Killing was one thing. Inflicting that kind of pain on another being was something else entirely.

  She also learned a lot about her siblings by watching them wield their power. She enjoyed spending time with them. Hopefully they’d have a lot more of it.

  If she could learn to control and use the many facets of her magic, they would.

  Makenna was dragging ass when they strolled into the main house for dinner. She perked up as members of the pack greeted her. They seemed to be warming to her. They involved her in their conversations. Some asked questions about her and her life before the pack. She deflected the ones too hard to answer but was as open with them as she could be without bringing the mood down.

  Dinner was almost perfect. It was how she’d always imagined a big family meal with laughter and jokes and good food and a loving atmosphere.

  Except Rhys never showed up, and the nagging feeling she didn’t deserve any of it wouldn’t let her go.


  Makenna ignored the fact she could sense Rhys near. Ignored the hurt crushing her chest. Brushed aside the disappointment and longing threatening to dissolve her into tears.

  She pasted on a smile, told the others when they asked that Rhys was taking care of some business, and tried to enjoy the little time she had with such an amazing family.

  Though the most integral part of that family was missing, it was for the best. If she died or lost herself in the battle tomorrow, it wouldn’t hurt him as much if he’d already distanced himself from her.

  It had been a wonderful thought. But things like having a mate and family, happiness and security, and a safe place to land in a hard world were for other people.

  It had been a nice dream. But Makenna had to face reality. The dream she’d thought for a fleeting moment could be hers would soon be over.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Let Us Burn

  Rhys watched Makenna with the pack through the window. He would’ve smiled at how she appeared to fit in so easily, but uneasiness tugged on the bond and kept his expression tight.

  She interacted as if she’d always been here. She smiled and laughed and enthusiastically joined in the conversation. Occasionally though, she’d glance at his empty chair. A shadow passed over her eyes. She was hurting and afraid.

  Because of him.

  He felt like an asshole.

  He’d avoided her all day, despite how much he longed to be with her and how much his wolf nettled him. Every time he looked at her, all he could see was Kylian and Brianna tearing her apart. All he could think about was she’d volunteered for a mission that could be her first and last.

  He was painfully aware it was the best shot they had. No matter how much he hated to admit it. It was one of the reasons she was here. To lead their people into battle. She handled the role with grace and courage, even though it terrified her.

  Rhys was the one who couldn’t deal with it.

  He’d blocked his thoughts and feelings from her so she could focus on her training without him distracting her. They were striking tomorrow, so she’d only had a few precious hours to learn what most spent their whole lives acquiring.

  That made him even more of an ass. He was so scared of losing her but had spent their last day before a mission that might get her killed as far from her as he could. And why? Because last night during their meeting, discussing sending her to Kylian on a platter, he’d realized something.

  He loved her.

  He pressed a hand to the window. Makenna helped clear the table, laughing at Talon. Her eyes twinkled and her nose scrunched up when she laughed. Her perfect features glowed. There was a softness about her he rarely saw. A light that had nothing to do with magic. Happiness looked good on her.

  He hadn’t planned on falling in love, even though she was his mate. He’d known he’d want her, crave her. He just hadn’t known the desire would be so powerful. Or that she would be a smart, strong, sexy, fireball he couldn’t resist.

  He couldn’t tell her. Not yet. It was too soon. Plus, he didn’t want her thinking he only said it because she might be on the way to her death. At least, that’s what he told himself. Deep down, he knew the reason.

  Rhys was scared. Simple as that.

  Warmth flooded him as Makenna loaded a plate and wrapped it in foil before she said her goodnights and went upstairs. There was no doubt it was for him. Even though he could feel her anger, she’d still tried to take care of him.

  He slipped around the back as the pack streamed out of the house. He didn’t feel like explaining why he hadn’t joined them. Once they’d gone, he went inside. He waved at Talon, Trystan, and Amanda as they lounged in front of the TV but didn’t stop. He didn’t want to answer their questions either.

  Judging by the looks on their faces, they had plenty.

  He took the stairs two at a time. He couldn’t go any longer without touching her. He rearranged himself in his pants, the mere thought of her making him hard as a rock. His skin felt too tight. His gut physically hurt from the self-imposed separation.

  If he was in pain, so was she. What the fuck had he been thinking? She was probably scared and overwhelmed from Bowen’s lessons. Probably needed him. Only he didn’t know for sure because she’d taken a page from his playbook and blocked him.

  Damn, Makenna was a fast learner.

  Rhys slowly opened the door. She probably had a knife with his name on it ready to throw. But she wasn’t in the room. Seeing a strip of light under the bathroom door, he stalked across the carpet. When he turned the knob, it didn’t budge.

  She’d locked him out.

  He didn’t like that at all.

  Growling, he banged on the door. “Kenna, let me in.”

  Silence.

  He heard her squeezing lotion on her hand, then slathering it all over her soft skin. He groaned. He hadn’t gotten to watch her do that yet since they’d only been living together for a day. But he wanted to.

  Not just because it had to be sexy as hell, but because he wanted to know her. Wanted to know her routine. What she wore to bed. If she’d rather read or watch TV. What her favorite song was. Her favorite food. If she sang in the shower. If she came in the door after a long day and left a trail of clothes to the tub, grabbing a bottle of wine on the way.

  Those thoughts had him nearly leaping out of his skin.

  Wanting Makenna to feel how sorry he was, he lowered his shield. Though he still hid the fact he loved her. Yep. Asshole.

  He knocked on the door, this time softer. “Love, please, let me in. I need to touch you.”

  The lid of the lotion bottle snapped shut. She snorted. “You had all day to do that.” She paused and probed around in his head. She huffed, his mental apology obviously not enough. “I’m getting ready for bed. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  Rhys let his head fall against the door. She kept her block against him, strengthening it. That pissed him off. He’d opened up, and she’d kept him cut off. He could partly understand it. But he was trying. The least she could do was return the favor.

  “We need to talk.” He kept his voice as calm as possible and reined in his growing anger. Damn if her strength and determination didn’t turn him on. “I want to explain.”

  “We can talk when I’m done.”

  Not the answer he wanted. Screw playing nice.

  Rhys stepped back and kicked the door beside the handle, sending it flying open and crashing against the wall.

  Makenna didn’t even flinch. She shot him a hard look and kept brushing her hair. Her scent of strawberries and vanilla hit him between the eyes and cranked up his need. The fact that all she wore was a towel only exacerbated matters.

  “Do you always have to make a dramatic entrance? If so, that shit will get old real quick.”

  “I want my mate.” He crowded her against the sink.

  She shrugged him off. He didn’t move.

  She sighed and picked up a smaller bottle, then rubbed the contents on her face with angry strokes. “I told you I’d be out in a minute. Couldn’t you just chill?”

  “No.”

  “I haven’t seen you all day. Now all of the sudden you want all up in my business. I don’t think so.” She grabbed her toothbrush and smeared paste on it. She avoided his eyes in the mirror.

  He’d hurt her. Badly. The anger drained out of him. He grasped her hips as she scrubbed at her teeth like she was trying to sand off the enamel.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She rinsed and slammed her toothbrush into the holder. “Apology accepted.” She tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

  He held her tighter and nuzzled her neck, unable to resist. “I was an ass. I got scared and I didn’t handle it well.”

  Her eyes widened. He’d shocked her with his admission. She turned in is arms and put her hands behind her on the sink.

  “I can understand that.” She avoided his eyes.

  He captured her jaw and brought her gaze to his. Her eyes were full
of things he couldn’t decipher, but one thing was clear. She was hiding something.

  “Drop the shield.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “What?”

  “You heard me. I opened myself up. Now it’s your turn.”

  She peered deep. When she sensed he knew she was keeping secrets, fear lit her eyes.

  “I’d rather not.”

  At least she was honest. He wasn’t moving until she told him the truth, though. He didn’t doubt her loyalty. Even with everything that had happened. But she was hurting and scared and he wanted to fix it. Wanted to take the darkness away.

  “Kenna.” He softened his voice and gripped her hips tighter. “Please. Let me in.”

  Her breath quickened. Finally she sighed and closed her eyes. When the barrier dropped, he had to catch his breath.

  Pain. Terror. Rage. Determination. Relief at having him close. Hurt over him deserting her. Then he saw what was truly behind her wanting to go on the mission tomorrow.

  Oh, she wanted to help save the pack. Wanted to prove to them they could count on her. But there was so much more to it. He leaned his head to hers as his heart broke.

  She was convinced she hurt everyone in her life. That it was her fault Kylian had killed her family. She wanted to take the mission to atone for her supposed sins.

  What really got Rhys, though, was she didn’t totally trust him. Not where it counted. Didn’t trust him to stand by her day to day when there was no enemy she was needed to fight.

  She raised watery eyes to his. “Sorry you asked?”

  He leaned back. “A little bit.” Honesty for honesty.

  He didn’t know how to help her. He couldn’t see past the hurt that after all they’d been through, she didn’t have faith in him.

  “There’s nothing to say. I’m broken. Everything I touch goes to shit.” Makenna raised her chin. “I can do this one good thing. I can make it right. Then one way or another, you’ll be free of me. I’ll do what I’m here to do and if I live through it, I’ll go. You’ll be okay, and I can never hurt you.”

  Rhys’ mouth dropped open. Heat filled his gut, building to an explosion. His grip tightened on her as the pulse blasted through him. His wolf howled.