The Leverager

by C. L Masonite

  “No, I had a discussion with Doctor Fleur. After what happened she thinks it’s best that you come back home. I even convinced her to come to the house and have your usual weekly sessions with her.”

  “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I cried, wishing I could take the smallest step to squeeze his hand. My freedom meant everything to me.

  “It’s fine,” he replied uncomfortably, clearing his throat, “She said it would help you to get better.”

  “It will, Dad, I promise to try harder to get better.”

  “Just don’t . . . ” he stopped, and then started again, “Just don’t do what Katia did.”

  I swallowed and whispered, “I won’t, Dad.”

  “GEEZ, SHE’S HEAVY,” Sevastyn complained as he readjusted the girl who was slipping from his hold.

  “Don’t drop her,” Mikhail warned. “I didn’t just save her for you to go and give her a concussion because you weren’t strong enough to carry her.”

  “I’m training to be a surgeon, not a heavyweight champion,” Sevastyn replied. “I don’t carry her weight when I work out and I’m not as disciplined as you. Maybe you should carry her instead.”

  “He already had to carry her the four kilometers it took to get to his getaway car, with the threat of exposure and possibly death hanging over his head if any of Valentijin’s men found him,” I responded with amusement.

  “Fine. But do you have to play on my natural apathy for human beings? I was just joking,” Sevastyn replied.

  “No, you weren’t, and you’re the only one of us with a heart,” Jarek threw in, joining the mix. “I’ll go find out where her brother is, wait here,” he ordered as he broke into the mansion.

  “Well, maybe if Mikhail didn’t knock her out then she could have gotten here under her own steam,” Sevastyn winged lightheartedly. He was the weakest of all of us. He also wore his heart on his sleeve, and he always tried to fix what was broken even if there was no chance that it could be fixed, sort of like how he tried with the three of us. He was good…better than us. We had tried to get him to leave once but he said he stayed with us because he was one of us. The subject had been closed after that, but no one was here under duress. If any one of the men wanted to leave then they were free to at any time.

  “You know we have to limit exposure, Sev,” I played along good-naturedly. “Plus, I’m sure the last thing Mikhail would want is for her to try and hunt him down to say thank you for saving her life. Remember our last conversation? Mikhail hates sappiness. And we don’t want him going back to his family, leaving us one man down,” I mocked.

  “Shut up, you are my family, you bunch of heathens,” Mikhail reluctantly smiled.

  “Alright, I found him, he’s in his royal blue room of pain. You get to see it after all, boss,” Jarek whispered, making Sev jump. Jarek was fast and deadly, and if he came after you then you were guaranteed to be a dead man. His prey would never hear or see him coming.

  “A little warning next time, please,” Sev grumbled.

  “Why do we keep you around again?” Jarek asked.

  “He’s the check and balance to our crazy. He keeps us from getting out of hand, oh, and he stitches us back up when we get hurt. He does come in handy,” Mikhail admitted. “So you’re going to have to stop scaring him with your sudden movements, you might just scare him to death one day,” he taunted.

  “Alright, that’s enough. We’ll revisit the subject later, and besides, I’m eager to see the room,” I said, “Jarek, lead the way,” I gestured with my left hand.

  He gave me a royal bow like he was a court jester, “It would be my pleasure, boss,” he sang.

  We followed him up two sets of stairs, then through a dressing room with lots of wild clothing. I gave Mikhail a look of disgust that he returned with a grimace; Zack had quite the eclectic taste for leopard spots and zebra stripes. I hoped, at the very least, that he only ever wore those suits for dress-up parties.

  Zack’s back was turned to us as we walked in, and I had to give it to him, the color was royal blue. He was cleaning some piece of equipment that I’d never seen before and I didn’t want to know what it did.

  “So, what do you get up to in here alone?” I said breaking the silence.

  Zack almost flew a foot up in the air, and I smiled as I heard my men chortle.

  Zack swore beneath his breath as he turned to face us, “I was preparing the suspension bars for use tonight,” he said, justifying his weird behavior.

  “Oh, so that’s what that is. I prefer my women to be writhing freely and willingly underneath me,” I smirked.

  “I believe this belongs to you,” Sevastyn interrupted, stepping out from behind Mikhail where he was hidden.

  “Terra,” Zack gasped, hugging her to him. “What did you do to her?” he said, placing her on the bed, which I hoped was sanitized for her sake, and felt for her pulse with fear. “I asked you to bring her back unharmed!”

  “Calm down, I only injected her with a knockout drug, there are no side effects. We checked her medical records and made sure she’d have no negative reaction to it. She’ll be out for another hour. When she comes to she’ll be back to normal,” Mikhail replied before I could.

  “Thank you, I can’t believe you did it! I’ll be forever grateful,” Zack said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

  “Yeah, yeah, just don’t try and hug me,” Mikhail warned.

  “Hold onto that gratitude, Zack, because the time to pay up is now,” I said tossing him a file, which he just barely caught.

  “What’s this?” he inquired.

  “There’s a student who will be taking your father’s class this semester. I know all about his teaching methods and how he tests his students by giving them each a patient to treat. I want your father to make sure that the student listed in that file by name will be paired with the subject I’ve picked out. He’s currently not in the program but your father sources the subjects from the same place where the subject is being treated. I have both the student and subject’s details in that file,” I instructed.

  Zack swallowed, “I’ll give it to my dad, but I can’t make any promises.”

  “We gave you back your sister, and we can take her back and give her to the Valentijin mob anytime,” I growled as I advanced toward him and pinned him to the wall.

  “Okay, okay, I’ll make it happen,” he whimpered, bending his head in supplication.

  “Good, that’s what I like to hear. I’ll give you a call in twenty-four hours’ time to make sure you’ve gotten it done, be ready.”

  “WELL?” I ASKED, never one to answer the mobile with a hello.

  “I gave the file to my dad,” Zack replied. “He said he’d make sure the student was paired with the subject. It didn’t take too much convincing; he was grateful for what you did. And he also said to make sure nothing blows back on him because he loves his job.”

  “That won’t be a problem,” I replied, grinning.

  “We’re even n–now, right?” he stuttered.

  “Yes, we’re done,” I replied, ending the call.

  TWO WEEKS HAD passed since I had come home and I know that I should feel some degree of happiness, but I didn’t.

  After the first night of being home I woke up screaming so loud that my dad came running, which caused him to shake so hard he couldn’t speak. When he was finally able to he said that he wanted to take me back to Zaston Institution so in that moment I made sure that I only slept during the day when he was gone.

  When I didn’t ‘wake up’ yelling the following night, my dad relented, allowing me to stay. The first week he was quietly and awkwardly over-attentive, hovering close nearby as if to catch me in case I slipped off the ledge of insanity. I appreciated it, but all it did was put us both on edge. When neither of us could stand the tension of being in the same house—within close proximity yet so far away from each other—he started to go out for long periods of time in the night.

  Tonight, I was going to find out w
here. I switched off my bedside table and pretended to be asleep. Sure enough, thirty seconds later I heard footsteps at my bedroom door.

  “Emerson, are you asleep?” I heard my dad ask lightly.

  When I didn’t respond I heard him quietly leave, and when he opened the front door I quickly jumped out of bed to go after him. The other times I noticed he had left on foot, and this time was no different.

  I followed thirty paces behind thankful there weren’t too many people around at the moment, but then that would just mean that they were all out in the city. It was Friday night and it looked like that was where we were headed.

  Dad entered Giuseppe’s, an Italian restaurant that I remember we used to go to a lot when I was little. I paused near the front window, wondering whom he was meeting. A waitress gestured for him to follow her, leading him to a corner where a beautiful woman was seated at a table. He thanked the waitress, then turned and kissed his date on the cheek and as he did so she wrapped a manicured hand around his waist, squeezing his side, the gesture suggestive of prior intimacy.

  A massive smile lit up his face and I couldn’t help but wonder how long he had known her. Why was it so easy for him to show affection to her? I hated myself for the jealousy that had sprung up inside me. It was poisonous and it tempted me to go inside and somehow sabotage their relationship, but that was just selfish thinking. He deserved to be happy, to be loved and in love, and at least he wasn’t rekindling his relationship with my mother.

  I quickly moved out of sight just in case they turned to look outside, even though I knew the chances of that happening was slim judging from the rapt look of attention on both of their faces and the way their bodies leaned close toward each other.

  I walked a couple steps back toward home then stopped, my heart in my mouth as I saw two very familiar faces. My ex-boyfriend was twirling my cousin around playfully. He stopped her mid-spin pulling her body hard against his and dipped her back as his mouth locked on hers passionately.

  I drew my black hoodie over my face moving toward the shadows to avoid detection.

  “Em, is that you?” I heard a loud voice tremulously ask behind me. I mentally groaned. Valerie and my cousin used to be best friends with me up until the night we had been out celebrating our graduation from high school. That was the night when we had driven three hours north into the city and had illegally gone clubbing for the first time at Salazar’s. It was also the night that I had been assaulted.

  While I’d been distracted by my thoughts, she stepped out in front of me. She took one look at my eyes, and then zeroed in on the scars on my jaw and neck in shock.

  “Scars are fashionable these days, not to mention they have the added purpose of keeping predators away,” I seethed defensively.

  She flinched like I had shot a bullet into her. “I’m sorry . . . I didn’t mean to stare,” Val apologized sincerely.

  “Val, who are you talking to?” Liliana interrupted.

  “It’s . . . Emerson,” she said reluctantly, knowing it was too late to deny as Liliana and Jaxson walked toward us.

  “Very funny, Val,” Liliana laughed free heartedly. I’d forgotten what it looked like to have no demons or fears beyond worrying about whether the boy you were in love with loved you back. Just like I’d worried when I thought I’d been in love with Jaxson. I thought I was at the time, but if I really had been then I would be hurting a hell of a lot more than I was right now.

  “Lily, she isn’t lying,” Jaxson croaked unable to look me in the eye. He jerked his hand away from where it was locked with Liliana’s but not fast enough.

  “W–What are you doing here?” Liliana croaked, wrapping her arms around herself like she was a victim.

  “What am I doing being back in my own hometown? I have just as much right to be here as you do,” I threw back bitterly, deliberately misinterpreting her question.

  “That’s not what she meant . . . we thought you were at . . .” Valerie broke off awkwardly.

  “You mean at Zaston Institution? I was, but they decided to let me out on good behavior. I thought I’d come back and see why none of you ever came to visit me,” I said scornfully.

  They all recoiled and it felt good. I had the power to make or break them. I was their guilty secret; they’d left me behind. They’d moved on like I’d meant nothing to them at all while I was stuck in the past.

  “I’m sorry.” They all spoke at once.

  “That’s not good enough,” I spat, wanting to draw blood, just like I’d bled.

  “We couldn’t face you, especially after we’d left you at the club when we couldn’t find you. We thought maybe you’d gone back to the hotel,” Valerie confided brokenly. Guilt hit me, and I felt the anger slip away, being replaced by sorrow.

  “It was our fault you were . . . Instead of heading back to the hotel to double-check that you were there, we partied until five in the morning. If we had left earlier, maybe we could have alerted the police you were missing, before you were found. Maybe we could have stopped you from being hurt at all,” Liliana added. “You’re my cousin, you’re younger than me by three months, I was supposed to look out for you. I was supposed to protect you,” she sobbed.

  Jaxson immediately rubbed her back in circles trying to show his support. He looked at me pleadingly knowing that only I had the power to set them free from their guilt.

  I sighed, not wanting to deal with them at all, but I had to have a guilt-free conscience.

  “Look, I can’t remember what happened that night. But it wasn’t your fault that I was attacked. The police told me that the attacker had messaged you both from my mobile telling you I felt sick and that I was going to head back to our room. As much as I’m angry with you both for not coming to see me at the institution, I can’t let you continue feeling guilty about that night. It wasn’t even your fault, Liliana, that you suggested we go to Salazar’s . . .” I responded consolingly.

  “Actually, it was your mother who suggested it to me when she was over at my house seeing my mum,” Liliana interrupted. She had always been a stickler for facts and truths.

  “Liliana, please, just let me finish,” I urged, ignoring the technicality. “It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you, and I feel the same way about you, too, Valerie. The only person deserving of the blame is the person who hurt me. Have I made myself clear?” I questioned harshly. Valerie began to cry and all the emotion was making me feel overwhelmed.

  They both nodded and I breathed in as the intense atmosphere began to disperse, becoming uncomfortable.

  “Lily and I, we didn’t mean to become . . . it just happened suddenly,” Jaxson blurted out guiltily.

  “It’s fine,” I found myself saying. Liliana’s mouth fell open and Jaxson stuttered, ‘W–What?”

  “It is—really. I’m not just saying it. I mean, I’m not giving you my approval or blessing, I don’t want to see you two together in front of me all the time, but I’m not going to break you both up or anything like that. I need to go,” I said uneasily. It was beginning to get really dark.

  “Let me make sure you get home safely, at least,” Jaxson urged.

  “I’m not your girlfriend anymore, Jaxson, I’ll be fine on my own.”

  “Please, I need to do this. I wasn’t there that night, the last time I said goodbye to my girlfriend I thought I was going to see her in two days’ time. Instead, I never did, I lost her. I was just about to say goodbye to Val and Lily,” he pressed.

  “Okay,” I conceded, preferring to endure his presence if it meant I wouldn’t walk back alone and unguarded.

  Liliana looked concerned still not believing that I wasn’t going to steal him back from her. I couldn’t be bothered to waste my breath trying to convince her otherwise.

  “Let’s go. Bye, Valerie, bye, Liliana,” I muttered underneath my breath wanting to bypass the awkward goodbye.

  “Bye,” they both chorused in relief.

  Jaxson sped up to catch up to me, not too close, thank God
—a whole other body could fit in between us.

  “I still miss you, Em,” he whispered as if the words scared him.

  “Don’t let Liliana catch you saying that,” I replied coldly. “There’s no hope for you and me, it’s a little late for you to profess your feelings for me,” I scorned. “You’re with my cousin now, and I’d never do what she did to me. Don’t get me confused with her.”

  “I think a part of me will always love you. You were my first love,” he admitted, pulling his black hair back out of his face. His ocean blue eyes flared with forgotten memories of the two of us.

  “I’ll always be fond of you,” I replied, “But I’m not the same person I was when we were together. Even if you had come to see me, I would have pushed you away. I don’t think I’m capable of having an intimate relationship anymore, and it wouldn’t have been fair for you to stay when I couldn’t give you what you deserve to have. The result still would have been the same; we would have drifted apart. I’m still angry at you though for not coming!” I replied teasingly, letting him off the hook.

  I sped up faster; the less time we had together, the better.

  “I know. I was a coward. I had this perfect image of you in my mind and I didn’t want to taint it. And I was scared; I was scared of seeing you differently. I wasn’t there for you and it kills me because I should have been. I should have held you every time you cried, I should have told you everything was going to be okay. I’m sorry, Emerson. I’m sorry I gave up on you when you were in pain,” he cried.

  “You were a boy then…too weak to face me, but now you’re a man and you’re able to own up to your shortcomings. Thank you for apologizing. It doesn’t change the past but it releases a bit of the anger that has been lying dormant inside of me,” I smiled fleetingly.

  Arriving at my house, I got out my keys from my pocket and slipped it in the keyhole.

  “You were right, Emerson, you have changed. But I can see that you haven’t completely changed. You didn’t have to forgive Liliana, Valerie, and me but you did. One of the things that first drew me to you wasn’t your beauty, it was your grace. It’s still there and it still shines out of you. Let me know if you ever need anything,” Jaxson said.