I was sick in the head. I needed help. What was wrong with me? Any other woman would’ve gone back to Kyle and begged for forgiveness. He’d been steady. He’d been a bit of normalcy in my life for a year-and-a-half. Why couldn’t I just forget about my father’s accident and go back to how things were? Kyle and I had been a good team.
I suppose I was hopeless and messed up. Just like my mother. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree after all.
I gunned it and headed toward the docks. I hoped I could sneak onto the Alaska Darling without anyone noticing.
In a daze I parked Ben’s ATV in the gravel at the docks. Too much had happened in less than 24 hours for me to keep up. My head was a muddle of thoughts and feelings. The worst was my body’s betrayal. I couldn’t get rid of the memory of Ben’s hands on my body, the sweat, the heat, the hardness. The intensity of the sex pervaded everything. God help me, but I wanted him.
I made it to the wheelhouse, grabbed a wool blanket from the back of the dilapidated love seat, and curled up. I wanted to be deep asleep, dreaming and not doing any thinking. But I couldn’t help looking at the message from the Nome Police that had been left yesterday evening. It waited there like a shark lurking in the deep, circling its prey, ready to strike.
I pressed play.
Ms. Darling, this is Officer Garber. We have some more questions for you about your employee, Benjamin Abel. If you could please come to the station at your convenience. Thank you.
I played the message a few more times, wishing it said something different. But I already knew what they’d ask: Did you know Benjamin Abel is a murderer? That he is wanted by the police? That he has a history of violence?
Isaacs had seen me on the dirt trail to Ben’s place. Did he think I had just ignored his message? Or maybe he thought I was a stupid woman who had no more sense than a jack rabbit.
I pulled the blanket over my head and wept silently.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I entered the police station and asked for Officer Garber. The person on duty pointed to a couple of uncomfortable-looking plastic chairs and told me to wait. After hiding on the dredge for a few hours I’d worked through enough emotions to feel capable of confronting the truth.
While I waited, I played Candy Crush on my phone. It kept my mind from dwelling on my impossible situation.
Ten minutes ticked by.
Officer Garber finally appeared. “Ms. Darling, will you come with me please?”
He strode off toward a security door, waved a pass in front of it, and let me through into a larger office space in back.
“Please, have a seat.” He sat me down on a padded chair near the back of the space and behind several cubes filled with officers—one in uniform, others in shirts and ties. “Thanks so much for coming in.”
“No problem.” I supposed Garber knew where I’d been last night, but I didn’t care. I played innocent. Anything else was too embarrassing. “I’m sorry I didn’t get your message until today. Bad signal, I guess.” I shrugged.
Garber stared blankly at me for a few seconds.
I squirmed in my seat.
“We arrested Benjamin Abel earlier today.”
“Yes.” I kept quiet about how I knew.
“Not only did his fingerprints match those at the scene, he had an old warrant out of Idaho.” He leaned back in his chair, never taking his gaze off of me. “Second degree murder.”
A sick feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. “I see.”
“Did you know he was wanted for murder?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. “I didn’t know he had an outstanding warrant, if that’s what you’re asking.”
He frowned. “What is the nature of your relationship with Mr. Abel?”
“He’s my employee—my diver.”
“Nothing more to it?”
I clenched my jaw. “He’s my employee, Officer Garber. Nothing more.” It really was none of his business what I’d been up to last night. I wasn’t the one who committed a crime.
He formed his hands into a steeple. “Can you think of any reason Mr. Abel might want to hurt you?”
“No.”
“Did you ever have any altercations or arguments with Mr. Abel before your attack?”
“No.”
“Your friend, Stella Hansen, says you did—the night of the incident at your apartment.”
“That wasn’t an argument. It was more of a disagreement about personal matters.”
Garber changed his line of questioning. “We’ve spoken with a few people down at the docks. Told me Abel didn’t seem like the type to get riled up easily. Seemed like a steady fellow. Is that how you would describe him?”
I thought over the short time I’d known Ben. “He’s been a good diver, even saved my butt a couple of times. I’m having a really hard time understanding why he would’ve wanted to hurt me. Are you sure you got the right fingerprints?”
“We’re still analyzing the evidence. There were latent, fresh prints on the doorknob of your apartment as well as several others throughout the living room and kitchen area. We ran all the fingerprints we picked up at the scene through CODIS. Then Abel’s warrant popped up. His arrest had nothing to do with the current investigation.”
“But you have him in jail?”
“That’s how it works when you have a warrant in the system.” Garber clicked with his mouse a few times and then spun around his computer screen. “These are pictures we took at your apartment the night of the attack. Do you notice anything missing?”
So maybe Stella’s information had been wrong. Garber didn’t say Ben’s fingerprints had been on any weapon used on me. Only that his fingerprints were at the scene. But a warrant for second degree murder was a lot scarier to me than some fingerprints.
I scanned the photos, digging through my head for what had been in my apartment and where. My laundry basket of folded laundry had been dumped on the floor, the drawers in the kitchen had all been pulled out—some even dumped upside-down on the counters. Couch cushions had been strewn about, my dad’s small closet torn apart, but the bucket of gold concentrates—the thing I assumed Nate would’ve been after—sat right where I’d left it just to the left of the tub.
“It’s hard to tell from the photos. It’s such a mess.”
Garber hesitated a long time after showing me each photo. Letting me take my time to review carefully. “I know it’s difficult. Do you have any items of value in the apartment?”
“The gold we dredged.” I pointed at the bucket that had been left untouched. “But beyond that, not really.”
“Perhaps you returned before the perpetrator could take anything.” Garber clicked out of the photo array and turned the screen back toward him.
“Seems strange someone would make such a mess with the bucket right there in plain sight.”
Garber shrugged. “Maybe he wanted to cover up the real reason he’d broken into your apartment.”
“Maybe.” That didn’t make much sense to me either. If I’d walked into my apartment, the first thing I would’ve noticed was a missing bucket of gold concentrates. “When can I get back in?”
“Probably tonight. We got all the evidence logged.” He refocused his gaze on me. “One more question before you go, who else has a key to your apartment?”
My mind blanked. “What? Wait. I thought someone broke in to my place. You’re saying someone used a key?”
“Either that or he was incredibly skilled at picking locks.” Garber smirked.
I’d only moved back into my dad’s place a few weeks ago, after the accident. “No one. I’ve got a key and my dad…” I scanned my memory for the day of my father’s accident. He’d been taken to the ER, stabilized and then flown to Anchorage as soon as I could arrange it. Were his keys in his pants’ pocket? “My dad has the other key.”
“So no boyfriends with keys?”
“No.”
At that very moment, Kyle entered the room with Officer Isaacs.
His shoulders were slumped, his hands were shoved in his pockets. We locked eyes for a moment. He quickly looked away.
“What about Kyle Stroup?” Garber focused an intense brown gaze on me. “What is the nature of your relationship?”
“We broke up after my father’s accident.” My mind raced. “Why are you asking about Kyle? And why is he here?”
Isaacs and Kyle had disappeared through a door at the other end of the room.
“We are bringing in everyone with fingerprints at the scene.”
“Kyle’s never been to my dad’s apartment.” I was bewildered. Shortly after Kyle and I started dating, I’d pretty much moved in with him. There’d been no need for him to be at my father’s place. We did all our clean up in his Quonset hut as soon as we’d been forced to relocate from the house to the less expensive apartment. “You must’ve made a mistake.”
“No. His prints were found…” Garber clicked again with his mouse and read off the screen. “On the front doorknob as well as some areas in the kitchen. We were able to identify him because we had his prints in our local fingerprint database from an altercation last March at the Iditarod.”
The Iditarod Sled Dog race ended in Nome, and every year a number of parties and events took advantage of the crowds. Kyle had been picked up for getting in some stupid fight at the Airport Pizza and Beer Tasting Extravaganza. I’d had to pick him up the next morning from the drunk tank.
“I’m telling you, Kyle’s never been to my dad’s place.” The news didn’t give me much faith in our local police department. Besides, Kyle wouldn’t have any reason to break in or attack me. If he needed anything, he’d just ask me. The whole thing made no sense. “You must have it wrong. What about Nate Frazier? Have you spoken to him?”
“We spoke with Mr. Frazier yesterday after the details you provided to us at the hospital.”
“And…?” They’d gotten this all wrong. Arresting Ben, bringing in Kyle for questioning, when the real perpetrator was so obvious.
“He provided us with an alibi, which we are checking into. As I said, this investigation is still ongoing.”
I made it out of the Nome Police station fifteen minutes later more confused than ever.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Stella pulled up to the Nome Police station in her boyfriend’s beat-up GMC Jimmy. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you answer any of my phone calls? I was worried sick.”
I secured the seatbelt. We drove past Ben’s ATV, which I’d left in the parking lot. I’d given the keys to Officer Garber and told him to give them to Ben. “I spent the night on the dredge." I shifted in my seat and wished I had a Tums to settle my stomach. I was a terrible liar.
“I know you’re lying to me. It’s all over town.”
Of course it was.
My shoulders slumped.
“You stayed at Ben’s place. All I want to know is why, Rory? Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know. Because I love self-destruction? Because I love picking out men who disappoint me? Maybe I’m just permanently screwed up in the head like my mother.”
“You aren’t your mother, Rory. Please stop it with that nonsense. She left when you were a kid. You barely even remember her.”
I remembered.
“But why would you run off with Ben after everything we found out about him?” Her eyebrows squished together. “I don’t get it. He’s dangerous.”
I couldn’t say the words—Ben had saved me in more ways than I could count. He’d helped me when no one else would. He’d stood up for me and took care of me. “He’s not dangerous. Ben didn’t attack me. You got your information wrong.”
“What?” Stella drove down Bering Street toward the diner. My plan had been to hang out there until I could get back into my apartment.
“Ben had a warrant. That’s why he was arrested. They identified his prints or something.”
“You just said he wasn’t dangerous,” Stella scolded. “A warrant for what?”
My throat tightened. “Second degree murder.”
“Holy crap.” Stella pushed hard on the brake and brought us to a complete halt in the middle to the road. Luckily, Nome wasn’t known for its traffic. “Are you serious? He was on the run, then. And you thought he wasn’t dangerous. Are you kidding me?”
I shrugged. I didn’t know what else to say. There’d be hell to pay if Stella found out I’d spent slept with Ben, accused murderer.
“What if he blames you for the arrest and comes after you?”
“He’s not going to come after me, Stel.” I couldn’t think through everything at once. So much had happened since I woke up in Ben’s bed. I needed a shower. I needed to change my bandage. My head hurt. Where was that pain med prescription? I pawed through my purse looking for the bottle. “Isn’t second degree murder the one where you did it by accident?”
“That’s manslaughter, I think.” Stella got the truck moving again. “Look, does it really matter? He killed someone. I can’t believe I even have to explain this to you.”
“You don’t. That’s enough. Really. I get it. Ben’s a crazed murderer. I was lucky to escape from his dungeon. Yadda yadda yadda.” I ran my fingers through dirty hair. “Do you think I could get a shower at your place?”
Stella scanned my figure as if she’d just noticed how awful I looked. “Oh my God, hon. Of course.” Instead of continuing down Bering, she made a left on 4th at the Eagle grocery store toward her and Matt’s place.
“Thanks.” Not only was I looking forward to cleaning up, I wanted to eradicate the smell of Ben from my skin. I couldn’t escape the memory. Torso to torso, kisses across my collarbone, sweat and heat and all sensations wrapped up into one. And the last feel of him—my naked back against him. The hardness of his erection. He’d wanted me again. My face flushed at the memory. I changed the subject, “My dad’s having his surgery tomorrow.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine.” She squeezed my hand. “And then before you know it, he’ll be back in Nome acting like his old self again.”
“Yeah.” Her desire to lighten my mood made my heart full. But I knew the truth—there wouldn’t be a dredge to come back to. I was sunk. My only course of action would be to sell it before the season ended. Without a diver and with my injury preventing me from diving, I had no way to keep the operation going. I would tell my father after his surgery when he was on his way to recovery.
I had no idea what I would do after that point, but at least I’d have the money I needed.
Out of nowhere Ben roared up next to us on his ATV. “Rory,” he yelled, a muffled voice through closed windows. “I need to talk to you.”
My skin flashed hot and cold.
Stella rolled down her window. “I think you’ve done enough damage. Why aren’t you in jail?”
Ben ignored her and stared right at me. “Rory, please. I want to explain.”
“Forget it,” Stella answered for me. “Do you want me to call the police? Stop harassing my friend.”
I could feel his eyes on me. The hot weight of his stare knocked the wind out of me. I used every shred of willpower I had to keep from getting out of Stella’s truck and climbing on the back of that ATV. The wind in my hair. The dust and grime of Nome long behind me. To go back to that magic cabin in the woods where I’d forgotten where I came from, the worries I had, the decisions that needed to be made and got to be just Aurora Darling, lover of Ben.
Love.
The word popped into my head. My muscles tensed. Adrenaline pumped. Somehow I’d fallen in love with Ben, and I hardly knew anything about him. I was working 100% on instinct and not using my head. This is what had gotten me in trouble every single time. I made rash choices and gut decisions, rather than look at the facts and make a studied, carefully thought out choice.
I had to fight to stay in Stella’s truck. My hand clutched the door release. I wanted to pull it and be free. But every other time I’d acted on impulse, I’d been wrong. Today was the day I�
�d start making rational decisions.
Listen to Stella, for God’s sake.
She’d been lecturing me for years. And now I wondered where I’d be if I’d listened to her.
“Rory,” Ben pleaded.
“Get me out of here,” I whispered to Stella.
She punched the gas, and we left Ben behind in a swirl of dust.
*
A couple hours later I sat on Stella’s futon in a pair of Alisha’s yoga pants and an old t-shirt of Stella’s that said Keep Calm You Live in Nome Alaska. Someone’s idea of a joke, I guess.
“Thanks for letting me use your shower.”
“No problem.” Stella handed me a cup of green tea.
I didn’t like green tea, but I did like the gesture. I took a sip and tried not to make a face.
Stella fussed about the room. She was a stickler for neatness and, with three people sharing a one-bedroom place, the clutter drove her a bit mad. “When are you going to be able to get back into your apartment?” She asked with a bit of a fake smile.
I suppose she viewed me as another piece of clutter.
“Tonight.” I gently rubbed a towel across the hair around my wound. I’d washed it as best I could without wetting the stitches. “Officer Garber said he’d call me.”
“I printed out that application you asked for.” Stella handed me a one-page application for the Polar Cafe. “I’m not sure what shifts are available, so I’d just mark all of them.”
“Thanks.” I set it next to my purse. “I’ve got a few people in mind who might be interested in buying the Alaska Darling. And if that doesn’t work out, I could probably part it out no problem. The air compressor is practically new.” I took a drink of the awful tea to clear the sour taste from my mouth.
“I know how hard it was for you to come to that decision, Rory.” Stella picked a butter cookie from the tin on the coffee table and dipped it in her tea. “But what other options did you have?”
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