These Paper Walls

by Magan Vernon

  Julie?

  I didn't even know she still had my number.

  I should have ignored it. I should have been paying attention to my wife, but instead I found myself texting back.

  Sure, sounds great.

  "Who are you texting?" Libby asked.

  I stuffed my phone back in my pocket. "Just Jackson seeing if I could meet up with him at Reesey's."

  I hated lying to Libby, but I figured that was better than telling her the truth.

  "Oh, don't tell him about the shop! I don't want him telling Dina." Libby blinked.

  God, I felt even worse about lying when she looked at me like that, her eyes focused and a small tinge of a smile on her lips, even though there was still worry lining them.

  "I won't, baby. Don't worry."

  "You're the best." She squeezed my leg and I felt even worse about not telling her who really texted me.

  "Hey, who are you texting?" Nikki leaned over my shoulder and I shoved my phone back in my pocket.

  I'd taken Dee's niece and her cousin home from Jackson's parents and stopped over at Nikki's. She had been blowing up my phone all night. I guess it didn't help that I was supposed to meet up with her the party and I left with Libby.

  Now Libby was texting me.

  Thanks again for the ride.

  I put my number in her phone, thinking more with my dick at the time that she'd be up for some summer fun. Now just seeing her name and those five little words made a whole different sensation flow through me. One I hadn't felt for awhile.

  "It's no one," I lied.

  "Whoever it is, you seem to be awfully interested. Is it that RaeLynn bitch again? I don't know why you ever thought it was a good idea to get mixed up with her. Butch said she was crazy, even though I think he's getting back with her again."

  I shook my head. "No. It's not RaeLynn. Don't worry about it."

  "Okay, then maybe I should be worried about something else..." She shoved her hand down my pants and instead of getting excited, I pushed her off without even thinking about it.

  "What the hell, Blaine?"

  "I'm just not in the mood."

  She rolled her eyes. "Since when are you not in the mood?"

  "Since now," I growled and stood up. We were sitting on her back dock, where we normally fooled around.

  Usually I would have been all up for it. I would have let her give me a hand job or whatever she wanted then went home to sleep it off, but tonight I didn't want any of it.

  "What, now you're too good for me?"

  "No. It's not that." I sighed. "Look, I've gotta work early in the morning, I'll catch you later, okay?"

  She nodded, but there was a sadness in her eyes. The same sadness as the day I told her that I didn't want a girlfriend and then she still went down on me in the back of her truck. She might have said we were just friends, but I knew this girl wanted something more.

  But if I was willing to hide texts from another girl and found my heart beating faster whenever I thought about Libby, then it was time to give up Nikki.

  At least for the moment.

  ***

  "I think that I should see if Dina wants to go in as partners with me at the shop."

  I was knocked out of my thoughts by Libby's words. I slowed down the car and glanced in her direction. "What?"

  "I think that it would be a good idea if I did this with Dina. She knows the business and I think she could really help with me finishing school and getting everything settled with Mathieu."

  I shook my head. "I don't know, baby, are you sure you want to get into a business deal with a friend?"

  She let out a puff of air. "No, but I think that Dina should have probably gotten the business over me. I know Aunt Dee is only giving it to me because I'm family, but it's Dina's baby. I think she could at least help me for a while and if we want to expand and do a second shop in Caimon or something, we could do that. I think whenever I talk to Aunt Dee and her lawyer, I'm going to suggest it."

  I put my hand on her thigh and squeezed gently. "If that's what you think is best."

  "This will also help when you go back to school. I could have some wiggle room at the shop with someone else to help me run it. Then I could take some more time at home with Mathieu while you're at school and vice versa."

  I licked my lips. "Baby, I'm not even sure if I want to take Coach's offer."

  "Why not? You love baseball. You always have and I saw you talking to that pitcher, you're a damn good coach. I also know you'll be a great teacher. Hell, Britt and her friends adore you and every guy in this town looks up to you. If you go to school, take a few classes and hate it, then you can try something else. But you won't know any of that unless you try."

  I looked full-on at my girl. All this time I'd been thinking about how this was going to affect me and possibly our family and that I'd probably fail. But she'd failed so many times and then picked herself back up again to succeed. If anyone was going to be my constant cheerleader, it was her.

  Which made me feel even worse about meeting up with Julie. I was going to have to delete her number from my phone.

  "Okay, baby. I'll call Coach tomorrow and look into when I can sign up for classes at St. Joseph."

  She squealed and reached over and hugged me, causing me to swerve a bit. "Oops, sorry!"

  Libby went back to her seat.

  I laughed and put my arm around her, pulling her closer. "Nothing to be sorry about. I like seeing you excited."

  She kissed my jaw line. "And I like seeing you happy."

  Chapter 11

  The first week of work in New Orleans had finally finished. All I wanted to do was stay home and relax.

  But that wasn't going to happen.

  Mom and my sisters were throwing a baby shower at my parents' and decided to make it a couples' shower, which meant my presence was mandatory.

  At least the girls made it a barbecue. I was deathly afraid I was going to walk into a room full of blue ribbon and baby bottle decorations, but I guess Mom knew me better than I thought.

  The backyard was set up with a few picnic tables and when we got there. Dad was hanging a set of twinkling lights and blue streamers from the willows.

  "Blaine, Libby, you're here and early!" Mom said, as she set out a tray of hamburger meat on the table next to the grill.

  "Of course we are. This all looks wonderful, Vicki," Libby said, giving her a big hug.

  Libby seemed to get bigger every day and in her flowy blue dress, she looked like she would pop at any moment. But I didn't tell her that. I just kissed her forehead and always told her that she looked beautiful.

  And I was probably the biggest piece of shit.

  Julie had still been texting me and I'd be lying if said that I wasn't texting her back.

  I don't know why I was even doing it.

  They seemed innocent enough.

  Julie: You'd think New Orleans would be fun at night, but it's actually boring unless you're a drunk tourist.

  Me: I bet.

  Well, most of them.

  Julie: Sometimes I hate lying in bed alone. It would be nice to have someone with me.

  It never got any more heated than that, but I knew that it could. The problem was, I didn't know how to stop it.

  Okay, so I could have just stopped texting her back and I vowed that I would.

  Eventually.

  There was just something. I don't know. Maybe I was waiting to get some closure for what happened between us or something like that. I really couldn't figure it out.

  But Julie wasn't the only ghosts of girlfriends past that liked to show up.

  Just when I thought things were going well with my family and friends coming to the party, in walked Butch Sinclair holding a thirty pack and on his arm was RaeLynn, his on-again-off-again girlfriend that I also happened to screw around with on more than one occasion. The last time I saw her with Libby at the barbecue joint she worked at, it wasn't so pretty.

  “Fancy seeing you h
ere Blaine Crabtree.” My eyes almost bugged out of my head when I saw RaeLynn standing there in a stained barbecue t-shirt and short shorts. Her hair was pulled back away from her face and that only accentuated her permanent scowl. The girl had resting bitch face like no other.

  “Heyya, RaeLynn,” I tried to say it as casually as I could, but hell, I was sweating bullets. Last time I saw her, she was leaving the back of my truck with her panties balled in her hands. It was a mistake to screw her when she was on a break with Butch, but I was a little tipsy, she was a little slutty, and well...

  “Haven’t seen you around these parts in a while.” Her eyes locked on me like she was trying to pry something out of my mouth. Shit. Why did I pick this place? I should have taken Libby to a barbecue joint in Caimon or something.

  I scratched the back of my neck and could feel myself actually sweating as it dripped into my eyebrows. “Yeah, I didn’t know you were still working here.”

  “Of course I’m still working here. Where the hell else did you think I’d gone? There ain’t much else in this town.”

  “Well, it’s good to see that you are still working,” I said, because I really didn't know what else I could say and I wasn't about to cause a scene.

  Her nose flared up as she sucked in a deep breath of air. “I guess if you’re gonna stick around here, you probably want something to eat. Sweet tea for you, as usual?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

  I looked over to Libby, hoping maybe the death glare would stop, or at least I could maybe stop focusing on it if I looked at her instead of RaeLynn. Too bad Libby was looking at me like I just told her I killed someone. “Baby, do you want sweet tea as well?”

  “Yeah, that’s fine,” Libby squeaked. Shit. I hoped that RaeLynn wouldn't cause a scene and try to start a girl fight in the middle of the restaurant. She was captain of the girls' wrestling team in high school and I knew she could throw down.

  “And who might you be, Blondie?” RaeLynn stared at Libby like she was the lowliest bug on the bottom of her shoe. That definitely lit something inside of me. No one looked at my girl like that. She wasn't just some fling. She was mine.

  “Um, I’m Libby Gentry.”

  “My girlfriend,” I added, hoping it wouldn't cause RaeLynn to attack her, but at least know where she stood.

  RaeLynn’s eyes widened to twice their normal size, then she looked from Libby to me before her eyes rested on me. “I thought you said you didn’t do girlfriends?” she practically spat.

  I shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as possible, though at that point I was pretty sure she was looking to rip my eyeballs out. “Sometimes things change.”

  RaeLynn opened her mouth to say something else, but before she could someone yelled from behind me, “RaeLynn, you gonna come get these orders, or do I have to find someone else?”

  “I’m coming!” RaeLynn yelled, turned on her heels, and disappeared through the door.

  Libby let out a deep breath. “Well, that was interesting.”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” I raked my hands through my hair, searching for something to say. “I forgot she worked here. We can go somewhere else if you’d like.”

  Libby shook her head. “No, it seems like this just is going to happen more and more.”

  I raised my eyebrows. I didn't want anything to come between me and Libby and I was kicking myself. Why the hell didn't I find this girl that made me weak years ago? Instead, I was busy screwing around with girls who did nothing but bring me down. I reached across the table and put my hand on hers. “Libby, come on. My sweet petite. You know none of these old girls mean anything to me. I wouldn’t have introduced you as my girlfriend if I cared what they thought about us. You know I’m yours. No one else’s.”

  She tucked a curl behind her ear. There was something about the sweet movement that made me smile even if it was brief. “Some days I think that, and some days I wonder how many of your exes I’m going to have to face.”

  “Hey, it wasn’t much of a picnic for me to meet that guy at Kristi’s wedding either," I grumbled.

  She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, one ex. That’s all I’ve got. You seem to have slept with half the town.”

  I pulled my hand back and frowned. “Hey, baby, that ain’t fair. I thought we agreed that was in the past is the past, and the future is now.”

  “It doesn’t help when your past keeps showing up in a pair of short shorts.”

  I growled, clenching my fists. I didn't want to argue. Not here. Not ever. I should have known this was a bad idea. “Libby, I don’t know how many times I’ve got to tell you that these girls meant nothing to me back then, and they mean nothing to me now. They were all just flings. You’re my sweet petite. No one else.”

  “So that’s all I was? A stupid fling?”

  I whipped my head to see RaeLynn standing next to our table with two foam cups in her hands.

  I turned toward her, holding my hands up, palms out. Maybe reasoning would work. “Hey, you knew we was just having some fun when we got together. You were just getting over Butch Sinclair, and I was just getting over Julie.”

  “You take me muddin’, fuck me, and then never call me again! If that’s what you call a fling then fuck you Blaine Crabtree, because you were nothing but a ride in the truck for me, too!” With that, she took both of the foam cups and dumped them over my head. I gasped as the cool, brown liquid streamed over my face and down my shirt, soaking into my skin. I wiped my face as RaeLynn turned on her boots and stormed out.

  “I think it’s time to go,” Libby whispered.

  I nodded, sweet tea dripping from every part of me. “I think that’s probably a good idea.”

  And if it wasn't enough to have RaeLynn with Butch, running in behind them was Nikki wearing a pretty skimpy pink dress and carrying a big box of diapers.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  I left Libby's side and ran over to them, hoping maybe I could at least run some interference. "Hey, y'all, didn't know you were coming." I raked my hands through my hair and tried to will myself not to start sweating through my dress shirt. It was middle of July and I was going to sweat anyway, but this was making it about a million times worse.

  Butch handed me the thirty-pack. "Yeah, I didn't know baby showers were for dudes, but when Meg brought her car in the other day she told me it was for couples. I asked what to get y'all and she said beer and diapers, so we came prepared."

  "I'm sure these will both come in handy." I forced the biggest, toothiest grin I could.

  RaeLynn's face didn't break into anything more than her permanent scowl as she tossed her long black hair over her shoulder. "Congratulations. I didn't even know y'all were hitched."

  "Yeah. June 11th. I guess you could say that we move quickly." I laughed nervously because I didn't know what the hell else to do.

  Butch squeezed RaeLynn's shoulder. "Yeah, baby, remember I told you about the wedding and you said it would be a cold day in hell before you ever went to Blaine Crabtree's wedding."

  Butch laughed, tossing his head back. "Hell, Crabtree, you don't know how much time I had to spend south of her border just to get her to come today."

  RaeLynn squeezed his side and the string bean of a man in flannel practically went to his knees. The girl had one hell of a grip. "Hush up, Butch."

  "Ow, ow. Sorry, baby!"

  She let go of him and he stood back up, shaking his shaggy black hair. "And of course Nikki wanted to come too, I think this is her peace offering."

  RaeLynn smacked him in the stomach and he let out a big whoosh of air. "You need to learn to keep your mouth shut, Butch. You're just making things worse."

  I shook my head. "Hey, we all knew this would be awkward, right? Thank y'all for coming. I appreciate it."

  Nikki didn't even look in my direction. She just kept her head down, biting her bottom lip.

  A tug came at my arm and I looked to see Libby with her fake smile plastered on her face. I hated that smile.
It was the one she used when she was trying to be nice but really wanted to slap someone in the face. "Blaine, your mom wants us over at the table. Your dad is going to say grace before we eat and get the party started."

  "Okay, baby, sounds good." I took her hand as she pulled me away.

  "What the hell are they doing here?" she hiss-whispered as we walked toward the food table.

  "I guess Meg invited Butch, and he and RaeLynn are back together."

  "And Nikki?" Libby raised her eyebrows.

  "I'm thinking she just came because Butch is here, or maybe she wants to apologize for making a drunken fool of herself at the wedding. I'm sure she didn't mean what she said."

  Libby rolled her eyes. "Alcohol is like a truth serum. She totally meant what she said. She may not have meant to say it, but she did."

  I put my arm around her shoulder. "Hey, I know what she said was mean, but let's try and move past it. She's here today, so let's just be civil and enjoy everyone who is here to celebrate the upcoming arrival of Mathieu."

  Libby groaned. "I wish he was coming sooner. My feet are killing me. I'm so swollen that I'm getting cankles."

  I didn't want to look down and see if it was true.

  "Well, I'm sure I can give you a nice foot massage later."

  She smiled as I leaned in to kiss her forehead. "You'd better."

  We made our way over to the buffet table where Mom and Dad had a spread of burgers, hot dogs, different chips, potato salad, and of course a big ol' alligator cake that they had especially made for us from one of mom's clients.

  Dad stood at the table with Mom on one side and Libby and I on the other. Everyone else stood around the picnic tables that were covered with blue plastic table cloths and bouquets of crepe myrtles in the center. Even without Libby's parents' money, Mom and Dad still made it look nice in their backyard. I knew that the tables were either our old ones from the shed or borrowed from people that my parents knew from church or work and that most of the decorations came from the discount party store in New Orleans. It wasn't the grand tent, rented tables, and over the top flowers that we had at our wedding, but it was still nice and I think Libby was happy with it as well.