Come Undone

by Jessica Hawkins

  I gasped as he pushed his pelvis against me insistently. He leaned in, our mouths all hot air and desire while he tempted me, but was careful not to let our lips touch. I squirmed in response but he waited, patiently asking me to make my final decision.

  I twisted my hands and he released them, standing back slightly so that we were no longer touching. I lifted my palm and flattened it tenderly against his heart, feeling the buttons through his sweater.

  I closed my eyes for a short moment. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. A look of agony crossed his face before I balled the fabric in my fist and pulled him to me, slowly raising my mouth to his. For one precise second that we contacted, we sighed into each other, and then he was wrenching me from the wall. His hands reached beneath my thighs and lifted me effortlessly so my legs wrapped around his waist.

  He kissed me hard as we moved, and I furiously undid his tie before being thrown on the bed. Our mouths reconnected as I landed into fluffy down, and my shoe hit the floor with a loud thud. We ground into each other with fiery need until he sat back to pull off his shirt. I took in, for the first time, the perfectly formed muscles that pushed and pulled with every movement. He was lean and muscular, hard but graceful.

  Those muscled arms imprisoned me against the mattress allowing me to run shaking hands along a coarse, marble chest. I leaned up into his earthiness, inhaling a heady pine scent a second before he reattached his mouth to my lips. Greedily, my hands ran over his warm, naked skin, relishing the firm muscles that detained me.

  He pulled the dress over my hips and disconnected from me. With a glance down, he groaned at the white lace panties glowing against my skin. His fingertips hooked under the elastic and I exhaled into his mouth. They dragged along my skin, sending me into soft convulsions. I bucked against his hand reflexively as his fingers reached beneath the lace to find me slick with longing. I bit his lip softly when he slid a finger along me. Clumsily, I pulled at his belt buckle until it gave. Metal struck the floor when I threw it, ringing through the room.

  “You think for one second,” he said hoarsely between kisses, taunting me with his finger, “that I haven’t wondered what it would feel like,” he paused, rubbing me harder, “to be inside of you, since the moment I laid eyes on you?”

  I moaned as his words brought me to a new level of arousal. Scorching eyes fixed on me as he stood and speedily unbuttoned his pants, stepping out of his clothing in one graceful movement. His erection was impossibly big, and the thought of taking all of him inside me sent a ripple of heat up my aching body to my face.

  He impatiently pulled at his socks and hopped away, leaving me panting, before returning barefoot with a condom.

  Disappointment flooded me. “I’m on birth control.”

  “Trust me, there’s nothing I want more . . .” He leaned over the bed and planted a kiss on my pout. “But we have to be extra careful.”

  I nodded, waiting with my hair fanned out beneath me, lustily watching him affix the condom.

  He took my arms and tugged me to him, reaching back and unzipping the length of my dress. He drew a sharp breath. “No bra,” he commented approvingly, before lifting it over my head. I sat before him with drawn knees, hugging my arms to me. He unfolded them, drinking in my naked body. “You’re incredible,” he whispered. His fingers crooked into the elastic of my panties again, and I lifted up as he pulled lightly, dragging them over my bent knees and down to my ankles, where they fell to the floor.

  He was pushing me back onto the mattress, and his tongue ravaged my mouth; I pushed back, letting my teeth nip at his bottom lip. He let his weight cover my quivering body as he slid his arms underneath, pinning me to him. His hips moved against me, and his kiss matched their hastening pace. I became even wetter under his control; he was so maddeningly rigid against the inside of my thigh, rubbing his length up me, sliding along my opening before hitting my clit. I thrust upward when I could no longer take it, opening my legs wider, steepling them for him.

  “David,” I exhaled. “Please, David,” I begged. “I can’t . . . I can’t take it.”

  He eagerly spread my legs further apart with his, and bared me to him. He reached between us and deftly inserted the tip of himself into me.

  “Oh, Olivia,” he growled, looking to the ceiling in pleasure. “You’re so wet. So ready.”

  “Please.” My voice was high-pitched, impatient to fill the endless ache.

  He moved onto his elbows, and I let a small sound escape as he eased into me, pushing himself all the way in. I breathed in sharply as he exhaled. I clenched the sheets beneath me in unforgiving fists. My walls molded around him, and he felt like heaven inside me. It was what I’d been missing all this time.

  I didn’t know how my face looked in that moment of pure bliss, but he whispered, “Are you okay?” We remained that way, momentarily immobilized by the sensation, until I managed a quick nod.

  His breath quickened as he sought my mouth, kissing me as though it were the last thing he would ever do; it was needy, tender and fast all at once. “Hang on to me,” he instructed.

  He pulled out almost entirely and drove inside of me with a guttural groan. I gripped his arms and had only a second to wrap my legs around him before he thrust again, wrapping me up into his rhythm. His pace accelerated quickly, giving me exactly what I wanted and more than I knew I needed. Within seconds he was mercilessly driving into me over and over, yes yes yes, he moaned as though he were reading my thoughts. He reached for my hair and yanked it, bowing my head to allow him access to my mouth as we fucked.

  Our bodies moved greedily after months of built-up tension. I cried out brokenly at his relentless thrusting, muttering inaudibly as warmth began to build within me. My orgasm mounted swiftly and without mercy, pulling me into a world I’d never been.

  He kissed that perfectly sensitive spot behind my ear, and I licked and sucked the wet saltiness of his neck. He whisked my forearms above my head in an iron grip, pushing them into the mattress. Firm hands skated along my skin and intertwined our fingers, squeezing them as the thrusts came more and more frantically. “Oh God, you are so beautiful, open up for me, baby,” he rasped.

  Thoughts of opening and closing, inadequacy and flaws began to rush over me. Here I was, underneath the most beautiful man in the world, and I was certain he was the answer to questions I’d stopped asking long ago. Could I do it for David? Warmth receded as I gave into the anxiety, knowing that I was too flawed, even for him.

  “Hey,” I heard and opened my eyes, not realizing I’d been squeezing them shut. “Come back,” he said, never breaking our rhythm. “Come on Olivia, come back to me. Look at me,” he instructed. I met his eyes as he moved into me, slightly slower but with more force. The change in momentum had me gasping for air and the heat rekindled, drawing me into him. “Olivia,” he moaned with such intense need that I moaned back at him. My legs pulled him closer, urging him deeper.

  “That’s it baby, oh God, that’s it,” he said, picking up his pace again and never losing eye contact.

  “Yes, David,” I cried suddenly. My bloodless fingertips tingled in his grasp, and my thighs began to shake with the force of an impending explosion. He kissed me with the same amount of force, giving me the push I needed to surrender.

  “Let go, baby, let go,” he uttered against my lips. Holding onto the edge, I instinctually constricted myself around him. “Oh fuck, Olivia,” he shouted, and I lost control. My entire body seared with fire and the world went white around me. I gave myself over to the first blissful wave of pleasure that ripped through me as he called my name over and over, coming fast and hard with me.

  ~

  I didn’t know how long we had lain there. When I fell back to earth, I found our breathing had synced. As our fingers were still linked, he was still inside of me, securing his collapsed weight to me.

  Just as I began to doze, he drew back and smoothed his hands over my hairline, brushing the strands from my face. “Mmm, Olivia.” He kissed t
he place the hair had been, then my cheek and my neck, lingering with each contact. “I have never,” he whispered into my neck, “never come that fast. You drive me wild,” he breathed. I felt my face redden at the admission and bit my lip shamefully.

  Gently, he reached down to pull out of me. He threw the condom on the ground and sat back on his knees. The world slowed when I sat up to face him. A heavy pit formed in my stomach as we watched one another, and the scope of what had happened hit me violently. Oh my God. What have I done?

  I looked down at my naked body, examining my adulterous hands. My face contorted as tears threatened. I shook my head and covered my face, trying desperately to hide from him what was coming. “No,” I whispered into myself.

  “Olivia,” David’s voice begged. I lifted myself from the bed, wanting only to run away, but fell to the ground as my shaky legs buckled beneath me.

  “No,” I wailed. “What have I done?” My entire body shuddered with sobs as I curled myself over my knees. Tears spilled from my hands and disappeared on the floor. The coarse wood dug into my skin, and it gave when David stepped down to grasp my folded hips with his immense hands. He lifted me up and turned me to him, hugging me tight as I shook.

  “I’m here,” he whispered feverishly. “Let me in, let me help.”

  “You can’t.” Despair squeezed my chest, making its way up to my throat. “I don’t know what you think you see in me but I’m not that.”

  He placed his hands on both sides of my head and guided it back gently, clearing the hair from my tear-streaked face. “I see a girl who wants to let go.”

  His words struck something buried deep inside, and I shook my head harder, stepping back without breaking eye contact. “I’m not that. I don’t want that,” I said, pressing my palm forcefully against my chest. “I’m black inside, David, you don’t understand. There’s nothing there to give, I’m too fucked up. And you, oh God, you’re so beautiful.” The confession knocked the breath from me as the words pulsated through my body. I trembled under his loosened grip. He was drawing out my closely guarded secrets, charming them from me like poisonous snakes.

  David looked equally horrified. I didn’t know what to see in the way he looked at me. I only knew that I had finally managed to drive him away, but not soon enough.

  The damage was already done.

  CHAPTER 23

  I EXPECTED HIM TO RELEASE ME, to make some excuse about having to work early while gathering my things and ushering me back into the night. Instead he grabbed me to him and kissed me with a heated fury. He lifted me off the ground to his level and held my nape with his free arm. He grew hard as stone between my legs, prompting me to wrap all of my limbs around him. His fingers dug into my back, and I cried into his mouth as the pain gave way to pleasure. He charged me against the cold plaster, knocking against the nightstand and overturning a lamp.

  “Oh, baby,” he said through gritted teeth, adjusting my weight with his hips. I released him and flattened my palms and upper back against the wall. He stepped back with my legs still clinging to him and reached under my buttocks with one arm. Holding me steady, he used his free hand to sink himself into me without checking to see if I was ready. I was wetter than water, but I shrieked with surprise from the unanticipated feel of his unsheathed cock inside me.

  Immediately he was pumping his hips against me, propelling me up and down the wall as he thrust into me with urgency. “Fuck,” he exhaled, leaning over my hips to catch my lips in a furious kiss. “You feel so good, fuck, you’re amazing,” he panted. He drew me to him and wrapped his arms underneath mine, taking a shoulder in each hand. We straightened against the wall as he pushed me deeper onto him until my ass connected with his scrotum. I vainly grasped at his slick back, trying to hold on as he continued to buck.

  My insides tightened deliciously with each naked plunge, bringing me quickly to the edge, and I gasped for air as I threw my head against the wall, wincing in pain as it hit directly on my bump.

  “Shit,” he said, backing us away from the wall.

  “It’s fine, don’t stop,” I uttered, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face into his neck as he rounded the bed. He bent over suddenly, cradling my back so I wouldn’t fall, and I gasped with new awareness of his depth. With a light laugh, he drew back to kiss me quickly on the lips. He stuck a packet in his mouth and tore it swiftly, producing a condom.

  Still dangling from his body, I gave him an exaggerated pout. He looked me evenly in the eyes and pulsed into me once with a groan. My lips split as I drew a sharp breath.

  He leaned over and pecked me again. “I can’t wait to come inside of you Olivia,” he said, kissing the underside of my jaw, “one day, when you’re mine.”

  I nearly lost my grip at his words. I was so aroused, that I feared I might faint from the sheer extent of my need. He withdrew from me and set me on my feet to roll on the condom.

  His gaze swept over me in the moonlight, and he licked his lips as I stood waiting, wringing my hands. “Clasp your hands behind your back. Like that. God, you’re even better than I imagined,” he said, shaking his head, sending a rapid blush up my exposed body. “And I imagined a lot.”

  I had imagined too. I took in his towering frame and broad, solid torso. Dark curls started at his chest and thinned into a delicious trail. His stomach was flat with a hint of a six-pack, and the muscles in his arms were perfectly formed, just as I’d fantasized. His massive erection seemed implacable, and my mouth moistened just looking at it. I tucked my hair behind my ear as I let him examine me back.

  He turned me around, and I yelped as he smacked me on the ass. “On the bed.”

  I climbed up what I realized was a very high bed and sat facing him, running one leg down the other eagerly. When he didn’t make a move, I bit my lip and whimpered, nearly crazed with aching.

  He exhaled a short, forceful breath and took a large stride toward me. “Christ, Olivia,” was all he said as he took an ankle in each hand. In one movement, he had spread my legs and yanked me to him so I fell back on the comforter. I shut my eyes and groaned when I felt his lips on the inside of my ankle, making their way up my knee to my inner thigh. His mouth jumped to my stomach, brushing my scar, and my ab muscles clenched fiercely in response. No, no, no, I told myself. Stay with him, I directed, trying not to lose focus.

  “Mmm,” he moaned as he released my legs, pressed his chest to my stomach and took my breasts in his hands, running his thumbs under my nipples with reverence. I pushed my hips into his torso, desperate to feel him again. His mouth encircled one nipple and then the other; I bowed into the bliss of his tongue, softly crying out as I grasped handfuls of soft hair. He let me pull him up and kissed me hard. He pressed his fingers against my opening and anticipation vibrated my body. I bit my lip hard and after my whimpering plea, he shoved what felt like two fingers into me. They crooked and massaged, feeling me from inside.

  “Oh,” I gasped, shocked at the new sensation. I writhed beneath him as he kept the pace, bringing me back to the edge. I arched into his body, and he wrapped his other arm underneath my lower back, securing me to him and sucking my earlobe. “Holy shit,” I gasped. I fought off the urge to come from his fingers, wanting nothing more than to feel him again, to watch him grunting as he hammered me.

  “Come on, baby, come for me,” he rasped into my neck.

  “No,” I shot back, reaching around and grabbing his solid ass in both my hands, urging his hips toward me. “Fuck me, David, I need you.”

  “So fucking stubborn,” he growled and stood upright again, pulling my hips so forcefully that I almost fell over the edge. I felt his fingers spread my swollen lips and push the head of his rigid dick into me before shackling my ankles in a steadfast grip. He slowly swirled his hips twice before I cried his name in desperation.

  At that he plunged into me, taking no time to pick up his thrust. He released my legs and my feet pushed against his shoulders, supporting him as he deepened his range. He grabbed
my hips roughly, nailing me into the mattress so fast that I had to grab the sheets in a death grip.

  “Look at me, baby,” said a voice from afar. I obeyed as a roaring began in my ears but squeezed my eyes shut, trying to prolong the impending orgasm. “Oh God, I’m gonna come,” he said. I felt his hand grab my jaw as he demanded, “Look at me.”

  I broke myself from the darkness and opened my eyes for him, a cry escaping as wildfire tore through my body, throwing me into a violent orgasm that had me coming twice as hard and twice as long as before. He continued to pound me through the climax, never losing eye contact. He fucked me wildly, seizing my waist as my spent body threatened to slide up the bed with each thrust. I watched as he roared from behind gritted teeth with a punishing final thrust, squeezing me with his hands as he came feverishly, and never letting go until every drop had left his body. It was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen.

  ~

  Sinewy arms propped David over me as he heaved. I ran a hand through my sweat soaked hair and over my undulating breasts, trying to catch my own breath. I jumped when he brushed my clit to pull out of me and throw the condom next to the other one. I hooked my legs onto the edge of the bed, where I was still dangerously close to slithering off.

  “You’re going to fall,” he observed, looking me up and down.

  “I can’t move,” I replied between heavy breaths. He reached over and pulled me into a sitting position. A hand swept under my knees, and suddenly I was in his arms like a bride. He carried me to the bathroom and let me down at the toilet.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You should always pee after sex. Go,” he commanded.

  I sat down, more out of exhaustion than compliance. “A little privacy?”