Regret

by Jean-Luc Cheri

  No, it couldn’t be. That would be impossible. But I knew who it was.

  He stepped from around the corner and it felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. That handsome face from the old newspaper clipping was now standing in front of me, grinning broadly.

  “Sophie?” he said with a wide smile, “What are you doing? I’m waiting and the train is about to arrive.”

  I could only stare. My mouth refused to work. This couldn’t be happening. But if it was a dream, it was the realest dream I had ever had. I could even see the faint stubble of his beard on his soft skin, and the way his long eyelashes curled up slightly.

  “Sophie? What’s wrong?” He held out his hand.

  “Johnny?”

  He grinned. “What are you goofing about? Has being married to me made you crazy so quickly?” He laughed, and I felt my heart soaring again, just from the sound of it.

  “I… I…” My brain refused to function. I’d always prided myself on being pragmatic and logical, but what was happening to me at the moment fit neither of those descriptions.

  “Baby?” He stepped close and slid his arms around me, arching me into his body. I felt his strength as we pressed together, and then he was kissing me, his lips so soft and full. If he hadn’t been holding me, I might have fallen over.

  His kiss became more insistent, and I felt his tongue dart briefly between my lips and then withdraw. I slid my arms up over his broad shoulders, needing something to hold onto – something to maintain my sense of reality. The only problem was, the person I was holding onto for support had been dead for the last seventy years. The world spun as he continued to kiss me, and I became aware of a rumbling sound, growing louder by the second.

  He quickly lifted his head, leaving my lips yearning for more.

  “The train!” he said, “Let’s go!”

  Taking my hand, he pulled me with him, around the corner and down the hallway towards the platform. As we neared the turnstiles, I once again numbly reached for my non-existent fare card. But when we reached them he stopped and leaped over effortlessly, then reached back and placed his hands on my sides, lifting me over with surprised ease. I noted that my fare card wouldn’t have worked anyway, since these turnstiles only had coin slots.

  We were running once again, and then the train was right there, looking exactly like it was supposed to look – if we were in 1943.

  The doors squeaked open and Johnny pulled me inside, finding the nearest seat and falling into it, with me tumbling onto his lap. I tried to sit up, but the train lurched forward, and I fell against him, feeling his powerful muscles under his uniform as he caught me.

  I was facing the window, and caught sight of my reflection. My hair was no longer short and blonde, but instead long and dark, holding the nurse’s hat and framing my pretty face. Sophie’s face, only so much younger. Her light blue eyes stared back at me, but my eyes were somehow there too.

  He turned my head to him and kissed me again, holding me across his lap as our lips met. Once again, I held on tightly, not sure where this crazy dream was taking me, but enjoying it for the moment.

  Finally he lifted his head and smiled down at me. “I can’t believe you’re my wife now. You’ve made me so happy. This is the best day of my life.”

  I smiled back, and for the first time realized there were thoughts in my head other than my own. “It’s so wonderful,” I heard myself saying. “I love you so much, Johnny.”

  He smiled down at me. “There you are. You had me worried for a moment.”

  “No need to be worried about anything. It’s the happiest day of my life too, but I plan on having many more with you.”

  He grinned. “I want to have a big family. Ten kids.”

  I giggled. “Easy there. How about we have five and then decide if we want five more?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  My smile faded. “You have to promise to be careful over there.”

  He grinned and held up two fingers. “Scouts honor.”

  I swatted his fingers away. “Johnny, I’m serious.”

  His smile softened. “Baby, I am too. Trust me, I’ll be home. But today’s our wedding day, and we should be happy.”

  “I am happy. I just worry about you.”

  My mind flashed back to the newspaper article.

  “I mean,” I said, “I mean…”

  “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  “I, um, I just saw something in my head.”

  “What did you see?”

  “I don’t know. It was a newspaper, with your picture in it. Then it was gone.”

  He grinned. “Maybe I was getting a medal.”

  “That was strange.”

  “Forget about it and kiss me.” He pulled me to him once again and the world went away as our lips met. As he held me, I realized I was exactly where I wanted to be – in his strong arms. I was in love with this man, and always would be.

  The kiss continued and I felt his tongue again, tentatively probing. I met it with mine, flicking it softly before sucking it between my lips. He seemed to like this, and groaned low in his throat. I sucked harder.

  His hand moved up and cupped my small breast through my dress, and a surge of excitement went through me as my nipple stiffened and stood at attention. I felt a growing wetness between my thighs.

  He groaned again and pinched my nipple through the heavy cloth, sending another jolt of pleasure shimmering through my body. I moaned into his mouth, and felt his hardness growing underneath me.

  But inexplicably, I reached for his hand and removed it from my breast.

  “No, Johnny,” I said without saying, “don’t.”

  He gave a frustrated sigh. “Honey, you’re my wife now.”

  “I know, but we’re on a train.”

  He glanced around. “There’s no one else here.”

  “I know, but still.”

  He leaned down to kiss me again, and I welcomed his tongue into my mouth, pulling it deeper with my suction and treating it as if it was a miniature cock, licking along its length. He gasped from the sensation, and I felt him surge to full hardness under the curve of my ass. Once again, he moved his hand to my breast, where I groaned and pressed it into his palm, feeling the pleasure of the rigid nipple bending.

  I shifted slightly on him, giving myself room to reach underneath, gripping his solid shaft through his wool pants. My pussy pulsed hotly as I felt his thickness. He groaned louder and pinched my nipple again.

  But once again, my free hand moved to push his hand away.

  “Baby,” I said, “we can’t do that here.”

  He lifted his head and stared down at me, obviously confused.

  “Sophie, what’s going on?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you won’t let me touch your breast, but you have your hand on me.”

  I looked down at where my hand curved under me, and I heard myself gasp as I pulled it away.”

  “I, I, don’t know why I did that.”

  He placed his hand under my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. His bottomless brown eyes that I could get lost in.

  “Sophie, are you all right?”

  “I’m not sure. I feel odd.”

  He grinned. “You’re supposed to feel like that”

  “No, it’s not that. It’s like, I’m not me.”

  “Baby, you’re talking weird.”

  “I know.” I felt her trying to focus. “Johnny, I don’t think we should do this right now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, I want you to look forward to it. When you’re over there, I want you to think about what’s waiting for you. Think about me, and what we’re going to do together. That way, you’ll come back to me.”

  His smile faded. “Sophie, I’m going to want to come back to you no matter what we do right now. I love you, and I always will. This won’t change that.”

  “Please, Johnny, do this for me. I’m begging you. I know this is the
right thing.”

  He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. “Fine. If this is what you want, we’ll wait.”

  I felt myself smiling. “Thank you. It means a lot to me.”

  He brushed my hair away from my face. “You know I love you, right?”

  “I know. And I love you too. I’ll love you forever.”

  “Then that’s all that matters.” He slid his arms around me and held me tight.

  I couldn’t allow this to happen. She had to be with him right now. I had to make her understand that.

  I turned my face up to him and he kissed me, soft and gentle this time, keeping his tongue in his mouth. I tried to will my tongue into his, but it wasn’t listening. I was losing control.

  I tried thinking about the newspaper again, but she was no longer on that frequency, safe and secure in her husband’s arms. I tried to think of him dying, but she was having none of it.

  I needed a way to get through, and I knew I was running out of time. I focused inward, trying to think of a way. Johnny’s cock was still semi-hard beneath the cheek of my ass, and the thought of it made my pussy pulse.

  I smiled to myself. I had found my way in.

  Concentrating on his cock and the hard feel of it against my bottom, I imagined it inside of me, stretching out my pussy with its thick girth. And since I’d had a few cocks inside of me, I knew exactly what it felt like, and I focused on those memories.

  Her body shifted in his lap, as if she was trying to get comfortable.

  I thought about the times I had lay back with legs spread wide as a guy worked between them, thrusting into my tight core, filling me again and again. The wetness inside of me began to seep out between my labia.

  She sighed and wiggled her butt in his lap, and her nipples tightened into knots.

  It was working. I thought about how I had straddled guys and fitted their swollen cockheads into my slit, then pressed down on them, taking them deep into my grasping pussy. I remember how I had rode them to orgasm, sliding my cunt up and down on their slick poles.

  “Uhhhhh,” she moaned, and buried her face into his chest. The wetness now soaked her panties.

  “Baby, you all right?” he asked, caressing her back. The sensation of his touch sent a shudder of pleasure through her.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she murmured, keeping her face pressed into his chest as she inhaled his masculine scent. She felt her pussy quiver as the aroma settled into her brain.

  I thought about the times I had unzipped a guy’s pants, letting his cock spring free before taking it into my hand and aiming it at my mouth. How they had groaned in pleasure as I slid my lips tightly around their swollen knobs, taking them into my mouth, tasting their musky juices on my tongue.

  “Oh god,” she groaned.

  “Sophie?” He lifted her head up, gazing into her lust-filled eyes.

  She licked her lips and panted softly.

  “I need to…”

  He gave her a curious look. “You need to what?”

  “I need…”

  I focused hard, remembering how those cocks had felt as they jetted into my mouth, spurting their warm, creamy seed onto my tongue, where I lapped it hungrily away.

  She stared up into his gaze. “I need to suck your cock.”

  His eyes gaped wide and his mouth dropped open, as I slid off his lap and kneeled on the floor between his legs. I was back in control, and we weren’t going to stop this time. It took me a moment to get his pants open, but then I reached in and fished out his cock, which stood proud and hard, pointing straight upward.

  “Sophie?” he whispered, but then groaned as my mouth descended upon him, taking his thick shaft to the back of my throat. His cock was beautiful, just like the rest of him, and I reveled in the pleasure of sucking it.

  Increasing my suction, I began to bob my head, sliding my lips up and down his erection. It was much too long to get all the way in, but I did my best, gurgling softly as the head nudged into my throat.

  “Damn,” he grunted, and combed his fingers into my hair. I got lost in the sensation of having him in my mouth, and time seemed to stand still as my lips slid slowly up and down, up and down.

  After a few minutes, his breathing picked up, and I realized I couldn’t let him come this way, and I had to give him my virginity. Sliding my lips off of his jutting dick, I kissed it one last time before standing. I lifted my dress to reveal a garter belt and a large pair of panties, and decided I didn’t have time to get it all off.

  I kneeled onto the seat, straddling his waist as I pulled the crotch of the panties to the side. Taking his cock in my hand, I aligned it with my entrance, then curled my other arm around his neck. Our eyes met.

  “You sure about this?” he asked, his eyes looking like a deer in the headlights.

  I smiled. “This belongs to you now. I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

  I relaxed my legs and pressed down on him, and felt his thick flesh spread me open.

  “Ohhhh, we both said in unison.

  It was incredibly tight, and I pressed myself down on him, feeling my pussy stretch and mold itself around his contours. We reached the barrier, and without pause I pushed through it, feeling the sensation of my maidenhead tearing for the second time in my life. I ignored the sharp prick of pain and pushed harder, feeling his cock slide completely into me, lodging its full length into my distended sheath.

  “Uhhhh,” he grunted, and I pressed my face into the side of his neck, licking his skin and tasting the saltiness of his sweat. His hands moved to my ass and pressed me down on him, nudging into me a little bit more. My clit was stiff and swollen, pressing against the top side of his shaft as my entrance ovaled around his root.

  Then his hands released me, and I began to move, sliding slowly up to the tip and then changing direction, taking him back inside my tight depths. We began our rhythm, getting lost in the pleasure we were creating. After a minute he lifted my head, bringing my eyes to his. We stared at each other a long moment as our fucking continued, slow and steady.

  “I love you so much,” he whispered.

  “And I love you.”

  “I never imagined it would feel this good.”

  I smiled. “It feels incredible. I’m so glad I didn’t wait.”

  His smiled joined mine. “So am I.”

  I picked up speed and he grimaced in pleasure. “Oh god,” I’m getting close.

  “Me too.”

  His hands found my hips again and he began pushing me down on him, harder and harder. Our breaths harshened and sped up to match the pace of our thrusting, and I tilted my head back, my mouth open as the pleasure began to flow over me. My orgasm welled up from my depths, and I heard his moans increase, signaling his imminent climax.

  And then we were both there, gasping and clutching and convulsing as we exploded in pleasure. The waves of bliss rolled over me as I held him tight in my embrace, his pulsing seed bathing my womb in warmth. It seemed to go on forever, and through it all we held each other, connected by more than our bodies as we rode out the storm together.

  I felt myself drifting away, disconnecting from these passionate lovers. Whatever I had been sent here to do, I had done, and now I had to return.

  Something nagged at my memory as our minds pulled apart, and I had the feeling I was missing something important. It was hard to concentrate, but I forced myself, not wanting to miss anything.

  Then it came to me, and although we were now separated, I called to her from across the gap.

  “Tell him about the Blue Cow!”

  * * *

  “Hey, lady, wake up.”

  I tried to ignore the voice, but someone was nudging my shoulder.

  “Hey, you can’t sleep here. It’s the end of the line.”

  My eyes blinked open, and a guy in a transit uniform was standing above me, frowning. I sat up and looked around. I was in a modern-day subway car, which was stopped. Looking down, I saw I was wearing my green scrubs. What a drea
m that had been.

  “Where am I?” I asked.

  “Charlesburg. You have to get off.”

  I stood on wobbly legs. “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep.”

  “It’s okay,” he said. “It happens all the time. Mostly with crackheads, not someone as pretty as you.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Seven a.m.”

  I left the train and looked around in the early morning sunlight. I recalled the events of my dream, and remembered how real it had all seemed. It was as if I had really gone back to 1943 and met those two.

  I puzzled for a moment. How did I get on this subway? I didn’t have any memory of getting on. Oh well, I’d figure it out.

  Seven a.m. My thoughts turned to Sophie, and I wondered how she was doing. I considered taking the train back to my apartment, but decided I needed to know. Was she still alive? If she was, I wanted to tell her all about my dream.

  So I caught the next train and relaxed for the hour journey back into the city. My mind went over the dream again and again, and I couldn’t believe how much detail I remembered. Hell, I could almost taste his cock on my tongue.

  Finally, I reached the city, and made the short walk to the hospital. When I got up to my floor, I saw Dr. Easton standing by the nurse’s station, writing some notes on a chart.

  He glanced up and saw me. “Michelle, what are you doing here? You’re shift doesn’t start until this afternoon.”

  I shrugged. “I was worried about Sophie.”

  “Sophie?”

  “Oh, I mean Mrs. Davenport. How’s she doing?”

  His lips turned downward slightly, and his eyes became soft. “I’m sorry, Michelle, but she didn’t make it. She died just over an hour ago. I know you two were close.”

  I felt the tears stinging my eyes. Life just wasn’t fair.

  Paul stepped forward and pulled me in for a hug. “It was her time to go. She lived a full life.”

  I wanted to tell him that, no she hadn’t. She’d spent her entire life loving a dead man, and regretting that she didn’t take her one chance to make love to him. That wasn’t a full life, not even close.

  But I only said, “I know.”

  “She’s still in her room, if you want to visit one last time. They should be by to get her in a few minutes.”