“Told you so.” Cynthia gives me a high five.
We hop into a couple more shops where the girls buy their dresses. They have a lower budget than I do, and I don’t mind splurging for this dance.The girls are all giddy as we walk back to the car. They are busy chattering about what type of make-up and jewelry they will use, but I’m lost in my thoughts about Mr. Florentino. I can already imagine the look on his face once he sees me. This will be my reigning moment where I can prove to him that I’m all grown-up.
I fumble with my pen while watching Mr. Florentino scribble the word, Destiny on the board. His most flattering feature is quite a distraction, and I can’t keep my eyes away.
He faces the class and takes a quick glance at me. My cheeks feel flushed and I can’t seem to contain myself.
“Destiny is a widely talked about topic.” He paces around the classroom. “Some people believe destiny has been laid out for them by a divine power or higher being like God, while others consider they are the masters of their own fate.”
The whole class is attentive to his topic while I am oblivious and feel like he’s speaking to my soul. He is my destiny . . .
“Each of us in this class contain our own opinion and there are no right or wrong answers. With that said, I would like you to write an essay defining what is destiny for you and if you believe you can control your own destiny or not.”
My inquisitive mind is working like clockwork. I love topics like these, I love Philosophy class, and most of all, I love Mr. Florentino.
A boy seated at the very back wearing a long-sleeved shirt raises his hand.
“Yes, Charlie,” Mr. Florentino addresses him. “Do you have a question?”
“How about you, Mr. Florentino? What do you believe in? Do you believe you can control your own destiny? Did you always want to be a teacher? Are you fulfilling your destiny?”
“That’s five questions in total.” Mr. Florentino grins.
Laughter explodes from the class.
“I will answer all your questions after you submit your essay tomorrow. Given that, class is dismissed early for today. Please work on your essays.”
The class pack their bags while I’m beaming cheek to cheek and ready to dive in on my essay.
James nudges me from behind. “Hey, you wanna grab a snack before heading home? “
I grab my bag and walk with him outside the classroom toward the hallway. “No thanks, James. If you don’t mind, I want to go home and work on my essay.”
He nods.
James has always been patient and understanding with me, but I only see him as a friend. “Maybe next time, when we don’t have too much homework to do.”
He grins. “Okay, see you tomorrow.”
Over dinner, my mother snaps her fingers. “Lotus, you haven’t touched your food. Is everything okay?” She studies me.
“Sorry, I’m not really hungry.”
“Is something bothering you?” My father stares at me with stern eyes. “You seemed to be deep in thought each time I see you. Anybody bullying you in school? You came home early today.”
It seems that my parents are now noticing my movements. “No, nothing like that. In fact, I need to do my homework.” I rise from my seat.
He glares at me. “There’s no way you’re leaving the dinner table without finishing your food.”
The chicken is cold, and all I can think of is Mr. Florentino and the essay I’m supposed to write. I’m torn on my beliefs about destiny.
My mother seems to be reading my thoughts. “Lotus, tell us about your homework. Perhaps we can help you. Is it a Math equation? Your father is good with Math.”
I shake my head.
“Yes, what is so difficult about your homework? There is no problem you can’t solve,” My father chimes in.
“Really? What about poverty, AIDS, a cure for cancer?” I blurt out loud. “Aren’t these major unsolved issues?”
“That is not your concern,” he darts back. “All we want to know about is your homework.”
“That’s right, darling,” my mother pleads.
“You know what, I think I just nailed the answer to my homework,” I raise my voice. “My teacher requested me to write if I can control my own destiny.”
My mother makes the sign of the cross. “Ay Dios mio! God has already planned our destiny even before we were born. We can’t rule our own fate.”
“Really? Then if you insist, why is it that you’ve controlled me in the past eighteen years of my existence? Why did you choose to keep me as a prisoner in this goddamn mansion and not even care about my thoughts, feelings, and desires.”
“You are not to use God’s name in vain, Lotus. Please remember the third commandment,” she raises her voice.
“This has nothing to do with God. In fact, what kind of God will allow you to be miserable in this hell house. Oh, I forgot, hell mansion,” I scream.
“Please don’t talk to your mother that way. Who is this teacher? What kind of lesson is he teaching you? “
I poke the chicken and take a big bite. “So, are you going to lock me up again? I firmly believe that from this day forward, I will be in full control of my destiny. This is my life and I will live it the way I want.” I storm out of the dining room, rush upstairs to my bedroom and slam the door.
I know my parents have witnessed a different side of me these couple of days, but the new Lotus has evolved and nobody is stopping me now.
The girls in class are busy chatting about their dresses for the dance tonight while the boys are all gathered at the back talking about their own thing.
I’m seated at the front ready and waiting to turn in my essay and hoping to share this to the class.
An earthy alluring scent fills the air as Mr. Florentino dashes in. My heart is filled with hope and inspiration.
“Good morning, class.”
The noise subsides as they return to their seats.
“I know you guys are gearing up for the dance tonight, but I hoped you worked on your essay. Who wants to share?”
Charlie raises his hand.
“I was hoping you would,” Mr. Florentino calls him to the front.
Charlie straightens his shoulders and delivers his message. “My mother died during childbirth with me so I basically grew up with my dad. I don’t know what it feels to have a mother’s love, but I know my father did the best he can to raise me.”
A sad look crosses Mr. Florentino’s face. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”
“I didn’t notice anything missing until I was nine years old and overheard my aunt say that my mother’s death was a blessing in disguise. When I confronted her, she brushed it aside and changed the topic. During my early teenage years, I hated seeing happy families together and questioned God why he took away my mother from me,” Charlie continues.
“But one day, my dad sat me down and showed me all the beautiful photos of my mother and shared how excited she was to have me. However, the doctors discovered that she had a severe heart condition that could risk her life and they advised her to abort the baby. But as my father would say, she had a mind of her own and chose to give me life.”
Nobody spoke in the classroom and you could hear a few sniffles.
“So, if you ask me if I believe in destiny, that’s an affirmative yes. Can we control our own destiny? I would say no, because although my mother chose to be present here, her fate had been determined beforehand. Was it a blessing in disguise? Maybe, because I wouldn’t be here in class delivering my speech today.” He dries the tears from his eyes. “But she will always be my mother who sacrificed her life for mine.”
A loud applause follows.
“Thank you for sharing your story with us, Charlie,” Mr. Florentino says. “Your mother would be proud to see you today. I know she’s watching you from above.”
A big sm
ile plays on Charlie’s face.
“Anyone else like to share?”
I look at my surroundings and don’t see any hands raised, so I slowly lift mine.
Mr. Florentino beams. “We’re eager to hear your story, Lotus.”
Rising from my seat, I walk a few steps in front and address the crowd. “When Mr. Florentino assigned us this essay, a spark awakened in me. All my life, my parents have chosen everything for me—they controlled my destiny. They made me believe I was living in a perfect world and didn’t think I desired for more. As an obedient daughter, I never questioned them until now that I’ve seen the outside world. I realized how much I’ve been deprived and learning to see things in my own perspective are shaping my thoughts and actions to my own path.”
I shed a tear and continue. “If you ask me, I have made a decision to take full control of my destiny. Eighteen years is a long time to not contain a voice. I yearn for more learning, more experiences and my independence. I believe that in life, you need to create your own path, to chase your dreams and to fight for what you believe is right. Nothing is set in stone and life is what you make of it. Today, I decide that I’m in full control of my destiny and I’m excited for the future that awaits me,” I end my speech with conviction.
A loud applause follows.
“Bravo.” Mr. Florentino claps his hands.
Back at my seat, Mr. Florentino continues to smile at me. My cheeks feel flushed and I know I made him proud today. I will continue to do that so one day he will be mine.
“Class, today we heard different views about destiny. To answer Charlie’s questions from last time, I believe that life is a mystery. I don’t believe in coincidence because every person or thing you encounter serves a purpose for you. I also believe in serendipity and although there are things laid out for you, it’s up to us to choose our own path.” He paces around the room.
“I never thought I was going to be a teacher. I always dreamed for becoming a lawyer.” he glances at me then continues. “This fell into my lap naturally. My father was a Philosophy teacher and he would often bring paperwork home to read and grade his students. When I stumbled upon the essays they wrote, it ignited my soul. My father asked me to sit in his class one day and I was sold. From then on, I knew teaching was my calling,” he pauses to drink water. “So if you ask me if we are the master’s of our fate, I would say in life, we are given free will. There will be a lot of opportunities, but that also includes setbacks. Not everything we aspire for will come to fruition, but we all have the ability to aim for our goals. We should be responsible for the consequences of the choices we make―good or bad, but life should be savored and cherished. My advice to all of you is to never hold back and keep chasing your dreams. You all have the potential to achieve greatness.” He smiles. “With that said, class is dismissed. I know everyone is excited for the school dance tonight. See you all later.”
All I can think of is what he said. Yes, Mr. Florentino, I will never hold back.
Strobes of dancing lights fill the room. Every corner is filled with girls dolled up in elegant dresses as they chatter with the boys. My eyes get used to the dim lights as I search for Mr. Florentino. He’s the only person I care about now. All the other boys in the school are immature. James is glued to my hip and I need to get rid of him, so I whisper. “You should check out that girl to your right. I think she likes you.” I nod to a girl wearing an emerald green dress.
James furrows his eyebrows in confusion. I hope he doesn’t get the idea that I like him. There’s no way I’m jumping in bed with him.
“C’mon, I’ll be fine.”
Getting out of the house was such a big fuss. When James picked me up, my parents gave him a long talk about alcohol and drugs and that I was to be home by midnight. What am I? Cinderella? I pleaded with my parents and they agreed to be flexible, but I needed to be alert at all times.
I feel bold and daring with my low neckline scarlet dress. My mother lent me her dainty diamond necklace and advised I shouldn’t be too flashy for my age. I’m beginning to think if she was a teenager, she’d be cool. I noticed the sparkle in her eyes when she saw me all dressed up. My father, on the other hand, couldn’t look at me. I guess he can’t accept his baby’s all grown up now.
Mr. Florentino is standing right next to the stage of our high school gym dressed in a navy blue long-sleeved shirt and khaki pants. He possesses that boy next door look―handsome, yet more charming as you look at him.
We exchange a glance as I approach the table where a spread of appetizers are laid out. Hungry teenagers flock the area and munch on food.
I take a stroll and survey my surroundings. When you’re an outsider you tend to observe more how people act and behave. This is all new to me, and I’ve never danced with someone before. The music is inviting and the students are swaying their hips and showing their groove. James signals me to come over while he’s dancing with the girl wearing a green dress. I expose a sheepish smile and shake my head while I continue to explore the gym.
The lights turn dim and I spot a couple making out in the corner. I catch a glimpse of students laughing while they are gulping their drink. One girl from my class, I don’t remember her name calls me to join them.
I don’t want to be rude so I approach them.
“Hey, Lotus,” she says, her eyes glowing. “Is your mansion really haunted?”
I laugh, realizing they still see me as the queer girl living with ghosts. Truth be told, I never heard or saw anything peculiar. I wish I did, that way it will make my life more colorful. Tonight I decide to play along and fabricate a story.
“Yeah, I hear little kids laughing in the hallway and one time I found a pair of shoes smaller than a doll’s feet.”
They stop in their tracks and don’t say a word.
“Hey guys, it’s cool. I’ve gotten so used to it that it doesn’t bother me anymore.”
She reaches out and hands me over a drink. “Try this, it should make you feel better.”
I take a sip and lavish on the sweet and pungent taste. Hmmm, something isn’t right. I take a huge gulp and feel the heat permeate in my body.
All eyes are glued to me. The taller boy winks. “Do you like it?” He whispers. “We added Vodka to the fruit punch.”
“Sshh,” she adds. “Don’t tell anyone. It’s our secret.”
I seem to like the taste of Vodka. I never knew how alcohol tasted but I would smell it from my dad’s breath when he came home late at night and kissed me goodnight. He thought I was asleep, but I wasn’t.
“You can get more at the third bowl to the right,” he says.
I thank him and stride back toward the buffet table. I now have a mission. To get tipsy and seduce Mr. Florentino. He has to drink as well.
My cheeks are flushed as I approach the table. Mr. Florentino is pouring fruit punch on a glass and he took it from the third bowl. My stars are aligning for me. This is just perfect.
He spots me and hands me that specific glass while he pours another one for him. “No date?”
My heart is pounding and I can’t look at him in the eye. “Dates are so traditional and you know me . . .” My heart flutters.
He grins and clinks my glass. “Well, I guess that makes two of us. Cheers.”
He’s right, I don’t see Ms. Garcia anywhere in sight. Now, I wonder if they fought about something. I hate to pry, but I feel since I’ve already showed him my vulnerability, I can ask him too. “Is everything okay?”
He looks away, then takes a big gulp. After which, he rolls his sleeve and pours more punch on his drink. I’m surprised he doesn’t notice that it’s spiked with Vodka.
I shift my direction to the dance floor where it’s getting more rowdy and the students are taking photos with their Smartphones while making funny faces. I still can’t comprehend why teenagers like to make a fool out of themselves
.
“You’re nothing like them.” He says following my gaze. “You’re way beyond your years.”
This man doesn’t know what he’s doing to me. He’s the only one who knows me inside and out, and I don’t know what to do so I give him a sheepish grin and say, “Thank you.”
We engage in a deep conversation, and I’m all giddy with the three glasses I’ve consumed and oblivious to my surroundings. Mr. Florentino has also burst into laughter countless times. We seem to have built more of a connection until James pops in and I realize that the crowd has thinned out. Many have left with their dates.
“We should get going,” James tilts his head.
I want to flash him dagger looks, but maintain my composure. I spot the girl he danced with staring at us so I use that edge to my opportunity. “Do you honestly want to leave her when you’ve established quite a connection?”
The light flashes through his beaming eyes. He glances at her then back at me. “You’re right.”
I wink and gesture for him to join her.
Mr. Florentino pours me another drink, while James clutches the girl back to the dance floor. I’m feeling all flushed with the alcohol.
“I didn’t see you dance,” he says.
“I guess there’s nothing traditional about me,” I grin.
“You know you’re an amazing student,” he whispers. “Top of my list.” He glances at his watch.
“Is that all you think about me?” I’m taken aback by how I confronted him, but I know the alcohol is kicking in.
He straightens his shoulders. “I think you’re a beautiful lady who will succeed with whatever you put your heart into.”
I’m dumbfounded. He did say anything I put my heart into and he is what’s in my heart.
He eyes his watch again. “Listen, I have to make a phone call at my office. Go and enjoy yourself. You might want to try dancing. After all, it’s your first high school dance.” He grins then strides down the hallway.
I nod, pretending to agree with what he says. Searching my surroundings, I count until a hundred before I take bold steps to Mr. Florentino’s office.
The Weaver's Daughter Page 5
