by A. M. Rose
Dylan walks up in a rush. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head. “Nothing—I’m just exhausted.” It’s not a lie. Not completely. I can’t talk to Dylan about this now. It’s just too much. “Did you get us a room?”
There’s a line of concern etched across Dylan’s forehead as he nods and flashes a hotel key.
I let Maddox out of the car, but he won’t look at me. Not that I’m sure that I want him to anyway. Maybe I should’ve said something instead of flying out of the Jeep. But even now I don’t know what to say. Or think.
We all grab our bags and follow Dylan, up a staircase along a walkway, and to the door where we’ll be staying.
The room in San Francisco was classier, but this room is bigger. Instead of one king-size bed, there are two queen beds and a sleeper sofa. My nose burns from the potent smells of Lysol and bleach. But I guess it could smell worse, like wet dog or garbage. At least it’s clean.
I stand in the doorway and hold it open as Dylan and Maddox bring in the bags. What am I going to do? What does Maddox know? And why did he say all those things? It isn’t until Dylan takes my arm and draws me into the room that I realize I’m still holding the door.
Dylan gives me a measured look, then reaches to pull me into him, but I push him away. He clenches his jaw and gets to work, putting all our bags in the closet. Always so neat. I’m going to miss that. I swallow again and shake my head. No. I don’t even know what I’m doing—don’t say goodbye yet. “Who wants first shower?” Dylan asks.
I curl up on one of the beds without answering.
“You go ahead, bro.” Maddox sounds tired, his voice strained.
Dylan grabs some clothes and toiletries and shuts himself in the bathroom.
I kick my shoes off and climb under the blankets. I don’t even bother taking my jacket off. After everything, I can’t seem to get warm. I keep my head turned away from Maddox. I don’t know what to say to him right now, so avoiding any contact seems like the best idea. Instead, I stare at a painting on the wall. It’s supposed to be a mountain landscape or maybe it’s a farm and those rocks are animals. Either way, it’s bad. As bad as I feel. No. I feel worse.
The water for the shower squeaks on, and I snuggle down farther in the bed. Dylan is, well—Dylan. I love him. More than that, I’m in love with him, and have been for a long time. But I have to face the fact that he will never feel the same way about me.
We’re friends.
Just friends.
Nothing more.
The TV clicks on and some guy starts going on and on about how great his mop is. Maybe it is. Maybe it’s the best. Maddox is great. Better than great. He’s pretty wonderful and sweet, and when he kissed me I felt things I’ve never felt before. Warm things. Nice things. Things I want to feel again. Maybe he’s the best thing for me. Maybe I need to open up to him so he will open up to me.
Maddox said he’s falling for me, and even though I’m not there yet, I could be. I need to talk to him. I need to find out what he knows and tell him that maybe, just maybe, it could work, the two of us. But that would mean I’m giving up on Dylan. I’d have to admit it’s never going to happen. And deep down, I know I’m not ready. So there it is. There’s my answer. It might be a mistake, but it’s one I’m willing to make. It’s my decision. And as hard as it’s going to be, I have to talk to Maddox.
There’s a sharp pinch in my back. The painting on the wall gets fuzzy, and before I can roll over and tell Maddox how I feel, my eyes won’t stay open any longer.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I’m shivering. Cold…I’m so cold. With clumsy fingers, I grope for my blanket and come up with nothing. I open my eyes, but my vision is blurry.
What time is it?
With an effort I fix my gaze on the fuzzy image of the motel clock, but it morphs into something else. A blue flame, burning from some kind of small red vase.
Someone lays something thick on top of me. A jacket. I turn my head—Maddox. His jacket. It smells oaky with a hint of the ocean. “You okay?” he asks.
I roll onto my side. “Where am I?” The words barely make it out of my mouth.
Maddox leans over me and brushes my hair off my forehead. “It’s okay. Don’t be scared.”
I lay there for a moment, staring at the black collar on his jacket. Scared? Why would I be scared? With shaky hands, I push myself up, but only make it to my elbows. “Where am I?” Except even through the fog in my head, I think I already know.
He studies me for a moment and takes a deep breath. “It’s the secret laboratory of Serdicus VonLuiz from Eugenica.”
Like before, those words make me flinch. Just like how I’m sure I’ve been here before in my dream and know why those words have such an effect on me. The virus.
Maddox’s eyes flicker with concern. “Here, sip this slowly.” He unscrews the lid on a bottle of water and hands it to me.
I take it but don’t bring the bottle up to my lips. A line etches its way between his brows and his shoulders sag just a little, but a little for Maddox is a lot. He quietly watches me with sadness behind his eyes, the way he looked when I pushed him away in the club. But that feels like a million years ago right now.
As I’m lying on a plush couch, I scan the room. Dylan’s not here. At least I don’t see any signs of him. His bag isn’t tucked under one of the tables, and his hoodie isn’t folded neatly on one of the stools. And while the room is big, it doesn’t seem to have any doors or windows. I hadn’t noticed that in my dream. I reach into my back pocket for my phone, but it refuses to turn on, so I slip it back in.
Maddox runs his hand along the counter, a mirror image of his hand following him. “Is everything okay?”
I push up on shaky legs and join him on the other side. “Where’s Dylan? Is he all right?” My words are slightly slurred, like I’m the one who’s been drinking this time. Except I know I haven’t.
He runs a hand through his hair. “Dylan’s fine. I brought you here so you could see where you came from. You wanted that, right? You said you wanted answers.” He takes a step closer.
Even though I’m sure I’m stronger than Maddox, I shuffle backward. I can’t deal with him now; there’s something I need to do. Something I remember from my dream.
With a wave of my hand through the air, I activate the computer in the room. It takes a second for my eyes to focus, but when they do it’s on the icon in the bottom left corner of the screen. I reach up to touch it, and unlike my dream, this time something happens.
Groups of folders pop up and I press my finger on the first one, a folder named “2be112 Research,” and select the first file.
Excitement hums through me. The man from the dream in the car, the one I couldn’t place, is right in front of me. He’s wearing a pair of safety goggles and a white lab coat. He’s slender with dark hair and his eyes mirror my own, sending a shiver up my spine. Without thinking, my finger presses the play button.
“Scientific knowledge intensification personal journal, entry number one. Pamela and I have agreed. With the current state of the nation, we have to move forward with our experiment. Pamela is currently one week pregnant and to date has had two injections of serum 2be112 directly into her uterus. So far the only side effect she has experienced is a craving for something the Stultusians call Reese’s Pieces. Luckily, it is easy to obtain and surprisingly inexpensive.”
“I should’ve known,” Maddox mumbles.
I swipe my hand again and the screen disappears. “Should’ve known what?” That voice, in the video. It’s more familiar than his face. But where have I heard it before? My head is swimming. And the word “Stultusians,” what does it mean? My brain searches for the answer, but something is blocking it. The harder I concentrate, the harder something in my brain pushes back. Stupid virus. All I can get is the word “common,” before I have to stop, leaning against the bookshelf to hold me up.
“Let me try to explain.” Maddox pulls something out of his pocket a
nd messes with it, before shoving it back inside.
I press my hands against the steel counter, letting the cold soak through my arms. In my dream it’s like the voice wanted me to see this, but why? What does it have to do with me?
His eyes lock with mine. “I lied. I’m sorry. But it was for your own good. In Hollywood, I did see you run into the trees. And you did hit your head, just not right away.” In a flash I’m reliving that night in Hollywood, those vague images—the little houses etched in the hill, the rolling wall of wind turbines—everything comes into focus. Maddox studies me. “You remember what I told you when we were in Eugenica, don’t you?”
All the bits and pieces slide back together in a way that they haven’t since that night. So clear, I don’t understand how they never made sense before. The brilliant scientist VonLuiz, Suzette, and her secret society Neuveum. I’m still dizzy, but I force myself to nod.
“Well, what I didn’t get to tell you is that we found out Suzette had found VonLuiz, and went after him.” He gestures back to where the screen used to be. “Luckily, we were able to get to him before she did and brought him back to Eugenica for his own protection. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after he woke upon his return that he informed us his wife did give birth to their child—a little girl. She had survived and he’d been hiding with his daughter. Immediately we went back, but it was too late. We’ve been searching for her for a long, long time. But it’s been almost impossible because Serdicus VonLuiz implanted a virus in her head to protect her. To keep her natural abilities suppressed, and her safe from anyone who would want to use her. Like Suzette.”
My lip is trembling. Virus. Like what I have.
“You’re that girl. You’re VonLuiz’s daughter. It’s why you’re the way you are. You were always meant to be this way.”
I force myself to push through the remaining fog inside my head and I remember. I was lying in bed at the motel, staring at that horrible painting when something bit me. No. Not bit. Pinched. Shot. Like with a needle. Anger starts to bubble under my skin. “How could you do this to me?”
His face pales, all the color draining from it, and his mouth hangs open. He takes a few steps back and positions himself behind one of the counters. “Drea, you have to understand. I was sent with direct orders. And where I’m from, you can’t disobey orders.” His voice shakes.
I ball my hands into fists. “What orders…?” I walk toward him, stepping around a box. “I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. You said…you said.” I can’t bring myself to say that he told me he was falling for me. I’m so stupid. “You’ve been using me all along.”
“It isn’t like that,” he pleads, backing away from me. “Yes, I was sent to verify that you really are the daughter of Serdicus VonLuiz and to bring you back with me to Eugenica. But it’s for your own protection.”
Everything that’s happened since I met him fits together. Maybe it’s this place. Or maybe it’s every time he used that word, something shakes loose. Whatever it is, it’s all starting to make sense. “You knew what was happening to me. You’ve been testing me.” I don’t need him to confirm it. “The surfing, the couple from France. It’s been you. And it was you who had that thug confront us at Max’s. Is that your idea of protection?” I yell.
“Yes…no… It isn’t like that. We had to be sure. They weren’t convinced after the surfing. But you have to know, I never would’ve let anything happen to you.” His voice makes it sounds like he’s sorry, but I’m not buying it.
My stomach knots itself together. “Why should I believe you?” I don’t even know why I ask, because no matter what he says it has to be a lie. Everything he’s said, everything he’s done. I’m such an idiot.
“Because I care about you. I didn’t know I would as much as I do. And I definitely did not expect to have these feelings for you. I wish you could understand…”
I have to swallow hard against the hurt building in my throat. The heat in my face must be obvious, because for every step I take toward Maddox, he takes one in the opposite direction. “You’re a liar. Everything you’ve said…everything we’ve done together…they’re all lies! You don’t care about me. You only care about yourself.” I spit the words at him.
“If that were true, I wouldn’t have brought you here.” He plants his hands firmly on the counter separating us. “My orders were to bring you back to Eugenica, and that’s all. I could’ve left you there that night, but I didn’t. Because I wanted more time with you. And I thought if I showed you this…” He gestures around. “I knew how much you wanted to understand who you really are, and I thought this would help you.”
I want to laugh, but I’m too furious and my hands are shaking. “Is that what you want me to believe? You brought me here for me? How do I know you didn’t bring me here to get all this stuff working for you? Then you could look like the hero who brought in the girl and all the information?” The confusion I felt is morphing into rage. I don’t want to believe anything that comes out of his mouth. And even though he could’ve taken me days ago, it doesn’t erase the fact that up until now he’s been lying and maybe he still is. Maybe what he’s saying is partially true. The stuff about me at least, but he’s still trying to be some kind of hero. Win a medal or something.
I quicken my pace as Maddox loops around another counter, putting more space between us.
“Every Eugenica Salvodore—” He lets out a huff. “All our smartest scientists have been in here trying to get this stuff to work. None of them have been able to. I had no idea you would be able to turn any of it on. I swear!”
My heart is pounding against my ribs. “And I’m supposed to believe you? No way. It’s like my dad always said, ‘Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.’” This is such bullshit. He’s known who I am this whole time, and he pretended to be my friend. What’s worse is he made me think he had real feelings for me and I believed him.
Dylan. Where’s Dylan?
I loop around another counter and Maddox picks up his pace again. This stupid game has gone on long enough. I leap over the counter toward him. He’s quick, but I’m quicker. There’s a flash of fear in his eyes as I punch him in the shoulder with all I can.
He crashes against the wall and slumps on the ground for a second before he gets up, gripping his arm, and races behind one of the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. “Drea, please stop. I don’t want to fight you.” He runs down the row and turns onto another.
“No, you want me to come and be your science experiment! Not a chance! I’m not about to let you or anyone else cut me open,” I yell as I chase after him. It’s a maze of shelves, but I’m not going to let it stop me from finding him. I stalk through, checking down aisle after aisle. A flash of blue runs by to my left. I spin around but it’s already gone.
“It’s not like that. We want to protect you. We received information that Suzette knows where you are and she’s coming for you. We can’t verify her whereabouts. And we couldn’t risk her taking you,” he pleads.
“And you’re just telling me this now? You’ve had weeks and you’ve said nothing.” My voice is full of the fury running through my veins. I peek through a shelf of books to the other side just as Maddox ducks out of sight again. “Maybe I want to go with Suzette. It sounds like where you’re from you aren’t free to make your own choices. What makes you think I want to go there and have someone tell me what to do?”
“We do get to make choices.” His voice is somewhere to my left. I walk toward it on my tiptoes, careful not to make a sound. “We have to make choices that are for the benefit of everyone, not just ourselves. We care about the planet—and about future generations. That’s why we’re trying to save our world and the one you’ve been living in. If we could get rid of the virus from your mind, you’d understand.”
I turn the corner to where his voice was coming from, but he’s already gone. Damn it. I creep down the row and glance to the next aisle and then the next. This is getting me nowhere, so
I stop and wait for him to move. My breath is quiet. The air is still. The silence is deafening since he doesn’t make a single sound. Asshole.
I close my eyes and inhale. It smells like old books. I try not to sneeze. Defensive maneuvers and every martial art imaginable race through my head in less than a nanosecond. If he thought I was going to kick his ass before, that’s nothing compared to now. A creak to my right. Maybe that’s him. I make to lunge toward it, but before I can, large arms wrap around my torso, pinning my arms against my body.
“I don’t want to fight you. Please, just listen to me,” Maddox begs.
I stay still, feeling his arms around me. I try to flex my biceps, but they won’t budge. He’s strong. Stronger than I realized. Still, he hasn’t won yet.
I drop to a crouch and spin around to kick his legs out from under him. His face is frozen in surprise and—could it be?—fear. Good. He should be scared. I sit on top of him, straddling him, and pin his arms to the ground. Now we’re face-to-face, eye to eye.
“What makes you think I’d let you touch me after everything you’ve done?” I bark in his face. “Maybe I don’t want to remove the virus. Maybe I want to go home and forget everything. I could pretend none of this ever happened.”
He doesn’t fight or resist me. He lies still. “I wish it were that easy.” He wheezes. His face is softer than it’s ever been, and his hair is the most disheveled I’ve ever seen it. “We know Suzette wants you. We don’t even have to figure out how to get rid of the virus if you don’t want to. Just let us protect you. Please trust me when I tell you she will do whatever it takes to figure you out. If it means cutting your head open and dissecting every part of you, she will. She is ruthless, and she won’t let anything stand in her way.” His voice is so steady it almost sounds sincere.
“Why does she care about me?” I tighten my grip on his arms. He winces. “What does she want with me exactly?”
“Drea, your brain works better than any computer, and your body is a machine,” he says through gritted teeth. “Even now holding me down, you’re crushing my wrists with your bare hands. If you squeeze any harder you’ll break them.”
