We're No Angels

by David Mamet

NED dislodges a harness from the wall. It falls noisily.

  121Point of View: The SHERIFF and the BLACKSMITH turning. The SHERIFF in the process of tacking up the wanted poster.

  SHERIFF: What was that?

  BLACKSMITH: Well, I don't know. . . .

  The SHERIFF starts toward the CAMERA.

  122Angle: NED cowers down in the stall. The SHERIFF, in the background, coming closer, sure to find him. NED hangs his head, prays, sees something.

  123Point of View: A cat.

  124Angle: NED picks up the cat, throws it out of the stall.

  125Angle: The cat runs past the SHERIFF. He turns his head.

  SHERIFF: Here she goes . . . !

  In the background we see NED slipping out the back door into the monastery.

  126Interior: Monastery Chapel—Day.

  NED enters, holding the heavy clippers down along his leg, looking for a place to remove his chains.

  Walks toward an alcove, CAMERA FOLLOWS. He gets to the alcove, and there is a monk in it, praying. NED looks around, starts walking. CAMERA FOLLOWS him into the nave of the church. It is empty. NED looks around, walks to the confessional box, peeks back toward the hall.

  127Point of View: The empty chapel.

  128Angle: NED looks around. He hides in the confessional.

  129Interior: The Confessional.

  NED crouches. The SOUND of heavy footsteps, coming closer. NED crouches down. He holds on to the clippers as if they were a weapon. The footsteps draw closer. We hear the opposite door of the confessional OPENING.

  DEPUTY (offscreen): Father, forgive me, for I have sinned, it has been three weeks since my last confession. . . .

  Confessional stuff etc., as NED tries to remember the form etc. Pause.

  NED: Uhhh.

  DEPUTY: And I can't help myself. . . .

  NED: Uh.

  DEPUTY: Please, please.

  NED: Well, what. . . ?

  DEPUTY: Help me.

  As NED speaks, he tries to work the clippers.

  NED: Okay, what, what is it? (Pause.) I can't help you if you don't tell me.

  Pause.

  DEPUTY: I have been sleeping with this woman.

  NED: All right, and what? You're not married to her?

  DEPUTY: No.

  NED: You're married to someone else?

  DEPUTY: To my wife.

  NED: Your wife know about this?

  DEPUTY: No.

  NED: Well, then, forget about it. Stop whining.

  DEPUTY: But I broke my vow. I'm such a sinner. Help me.

  NED: Okay, okay, look. Go make a good act of contrition, try to break off seeing this broad, say ten Hail Marys, and if you see the girl again, okay? Pop back here. No big deal.

  He succeeds in breaking the manacles with a large POP. He smiles, puts the chains in his pocket, makes the sign of the cross.

  NED: God bless you.

  He exits the confessional with the large clippers.

  130Interior: Monastery—Chapel.

  Angle: NED looking around for a place to stash the clippers. The DEPUTY comes out of the confessional, comes up toward NED. NED, alarmed, slips into a pew, kneels, slips the clippers under the pew. The DEPUTY kneels next to him.

  DEPUTY: I can't, Father, I can't help myself. You have to help me.

  NED: Well, I did what I could. There's a time, a man has got to stand up, take a stand. Look, look, look, take a few days off, go in the woods, something, make your peace with God.

  DEPUTY: I can't leave till we catch those convicts. I'm stuck here in town. I'm in constant temptation.

  NED gets up; the DEPUTY follows. The DEPUTY physically stops him.

  DEPUTY: Please help me, I can't control myself.

  NED, exasperated, looks around.

  131Point of View: The Shrine of the Virgin, which they are standing under.

  DEPUTY (offscreen): I need your help. You re a pious man, you're a good man, help me.

  132Angle: NED and the DEPUTY.

  NED: How can I help you?

  132AExterior: Monastery—Day.

  They have come into the courtyard. NED sees JIM waiting for him. NED signs to JIM: “Just be patient.” JIM nods.

  DEPUTY: Come with me, talk to her, talk to us together.

  NED: Aw, look, buddy . . .

  DEPUTY: I've dragged her in sin, too. . . .

  NED: I'm sure that the young woman . . .

  The DEPUTY falls to his knees.

  DEPUTY: I'm begging you, Father.

  NED: Get up.

  DEPUTY: Father. I need your help.

  NED: All right, all right, okay, okay, okay . . .

  He is taken by the arm, and the two proceed across the courtyard. NED looks back at JIM. JIM signs, “Okay, but hurry. . . .” CAMERA STAYS on JIM. We hear a dog BARKING. JIM looks.

  133Exterior: Monastery—Day.

  Point of View: The SHERIFF and a deputy leading the two bloodhounds.

  134Angle: JIM slowly gets up from his bench, walks slowly away from the bloodhounds.

  135Angle: The bloodhounds stop, sniff the air, start toward JIM.

  136Angle: JIM disappearing under the banner which says, HELP RESTORE THE SHRINE OF ST. ANN.

  137Exterior: Monastery/Shanty town/Molly's House—Day.

  A raggedy GIRL of five, a garbage can, in an ill-lit corner of the staircase. The GIRL is playing with various objects from the garbage. We hear NED and the DEPUTY COMING UP the stairs.

  DEPUTY: And I prayed, I prayed to the Blessed Virgin, I have prayed to St. Ann, and I ask, I ask myself. . . why, why am I so weak? Why am I branded?

  NED: Okay. Okay. Calm down.

  The priest stops in front of the door.

  DEPUTY: And I say, Lord, Lord. I am a fornicator, strike me

  down, strike me . . . what am I doing to myself and my wife? I'm a fornicator. . . .

  NED shushes him. He nods toward the LITTLE GIRL.

  DEPUTY: She can't hear. The poor child's deaf and dumb.

  NED looks at the LITTLE GIRL. She is playing with the garbage. The DEPUTY KNOCKS on the door. A woman's VOICE answers, “Come in.” The DEPUTY signals to NED to wait; he goes inside. Beat. NED stands, looking at the door. He looks at the LITTLE GIRL. The LITTLE GIRL looks at him and goes back to playing. NED sighs. Paces around the stair landing. The chains he is holding CREAK. He looks around, deposits them in the garbage pail. The door to the room opens; the DEPUTY calls NED.

  138Interior: Molly's Room—Day.

  A squalid room, cluttered, laundry hanging. MOLLY, a girl of twenty-two, in a slip, sitting on the bed, mending, smoking a cigarette.

  DEPUTY: I've brought this man here to avow our shame.

  MOLLY looks up.

  MOLLY: I don't care. . . .

  DEPUTY: We . . .

  MOLLY: Hey, I don't care, and I told you I don't care. You did whatcha did, if you think that's a sin, you live with it. Now I'm busy now. . . .

  DEPUTY (to NED): Please help me, please help me.

  MOLLY: You got a problem, stop coming here. You think

  you're filthy, you think you're a swine, all those names you say while we're doing it. . . .

  DEPUTY: I'm going to be sick.

  MOLLY: You be sick, you be sick somewhere else.

  The DEPUTY runs out of the room. Beat.

  NED (sighs): Well. . .

  MOLLY: He's got no cause to be coming here like that.

  Beat.

  NED: You don't like the guy what'd you go to bed with him for?

  MOLLY: For fi’ dollars. ‘N’ you got fi’ dollars I'll go to bed with you, too. You think that's a sin? You think I care . . . ? Your mumbo jumbo. You think I care . . . ? I slep's with him, yeah, I'll sleep with anybody comes up the five bucks. That's evil? Throw me out, what you priests pay me to work here. Do your own goddamn washing. Don't you talk to me about God; don't you tell me about sin. Hey? Your religion is so good, your God, get Him to cure my little girl. Hey? Cure that girl out there. . . . Your blessed
Shrine, your St. Ann. Eh? Your Weeping Virgin. . . ? Cure my little girl . . . get outta here . . . you got your nerve. . . .

  NED: I. . .

  MOLLY: I need a man, I need a husband, my little girl needs help, I got nothing . . . you gonna give me those things . . . ? (Beat.) You gonna give me those things?

  Beat. MOLLY finishes washing up. She turns her back to NED, puts

  her hair up in the yellow ribbon. NED recognizes her as the naked girl he saw through the window in the morning.

  NED: I wish I could.

  MOLLY: I wish you could, too, but you can't. So whyn't you get the hell out of my room?

  139Exterior: Shanty town—Molly's House—Day.

  Beat. NED looks at her, leaves the room. CAMERA FOLLOWS him out to the landing. He looks at the LITTLE GIRL; she looks at him. NED starts down the stairs.

  We see MOLLY in the window doing something to her hair in the mirror. She calls the LITTLE GIRL to her; she puts on her shawl. NED comes out of the building, stands with his back to the CAMERA, looking up at MOLLY.

  140Angle: NED puts his hand in his pocket, turns it out.

  141Insert: His pocket is empty, except for two of the Shrine key chains.

  142Angle: NED looks back up at MOLLY longingly, sighs. A TOWNSWOMAN comes past.

  TOWNSWOMAN: Father, here . . .

  She presses something into his hand. NED looks at it.

  NED: What's this for?

  TOWNSWOMAN (walking on): It's for your beautiful project.

  NED looks uncomprehendingly at her.

  TOWNSWOMAN: It's for the restoration of the Shrine.

  NED: God bless you, I can't thank you enough.

  TOWNSWOMAN: It's for a good cause.

  NED: You don't know the half of it. (He hurries after her.) Here . . . (He presses a key chain into her hand.) Have a key chain. . . .

  TOWNSWOMAN: Thank you.

  She hurries on. NED looks at the money she has given him.

  143Insert: His hand holding a five-dollar bill.

  144Angle: NED smiles, kisses the bill. He starts back toward the stairs to Molly's house. As he gets there, MOLLY comes out, leading her LITTLE GIRL. MOLLY carries her basket of laundry.

  NED: Actually, I've got five dollars myself; what do you say we . . .

  She brushes past him.

  MOLLY: Get out of my way. I've had enough of your bullshit for one day. I've got work to do.

  145Interior: Monastery Cell—Day.

  JIM pacing back and forth, the SOUND of clanking. Swinging a censer. The incense is mounting in the room. He walks to the window, looks down.

  146Exterior: Monastery—Day.

  Point of View: In the courtyard.

  The SHERIFF, a deputy, and the bloodhounds, quartering the area. We hear the SOUND of a knock on his door.

  147Angle: JIM turns to go to the door.

  JIM: Yeah, who is it. . . ?

  YOUNG MONK (offscreen): Father . . . ?

  JIM opens the door. The YOUNG MONK is there. JIM puts down the censer. Beat.

  JIM: Yeah . . . ? What is it . . . ?

  YOUNG MONK: I wanted to ask you . . . A New Look at Deuteronomy. You approach ten: nineteen. “Love the stranger, for you yourselves were strangers in the Land of Egypt,” and you use the word a “sacrament.”

  JIM: You like that, huh?

  YOUNG MONK: Yes, I appreciated it, and what I believed was an echo of the gnostic, the ecstatic mode, that is to say, a true, that is to say, a noninterpretive, understanding of the text.

  Pause.

  JIM: You got it!

  YOUNG MONK: I thought that I did! Oh, forgive me if I'm running on, you know, here at the monastery, we're enjoined to silence most of the year. . . .

  JIM: Yeah? What do you do?

  YOUNG MONK: Pray. . . And it's such a pleasure, when the bonds are lifted, for the Feast of the Shrine, and then for this

  week, all this company, and then, to have you and Father Riley here. . .

  JIM: Yeah, it's a heady thing. . . .

  YOUNG MONK: And then we learned your bags were stolen, and in line with that verse . . . kindness to the stranger, I wanted you to have this.

  The YOUNG MONK gives him his rosary.

  JIM (touched): Gedouddahere . . .

  YOUNG MONK: No. It's an honor. It's an honor meeting you.

  JIM: Back at ya. Hey, thanks.

  YOUNG MONK: Well. . .

  The YOUNG MONK bows himself out of the room.

  148Interior: The Refectory—Day.

  The YOUNG MONK opens the judas door, peeks back in at JIM.

  149Interior: Monastery Cell—Day.

  Point of View: JIM in the room, looks out the window, starts swinging his censer quickly, muttering to himself.

  JIM: Oh, God . . . Oh, God . . .

  150Interior: The Refectory—Day.

  Angle: The YOUNG MONK closes the door. To himself, reverently.

  YOUNG MONK: What piety. . .

  He starts down the hall.

  151Interior: Monastery Cell—Day.

  NED comes into the room.

  NED: Shut up. We gotta get out of here. . . . The sheriff's . . .

  A KNOCK on the door; the YOUNG MONK reenters. Beat.

  YOUNG MONK: I really wanted to ask you, would you sign my book. . . ?

  JIM: Yeah, sure, give it to me.

  The YOUNG MONK hands JIM the book A New Look at Deuteronomy.

  152Insert: The book. JIM signing it: “Good luck.”

  YOUNG MONK (offscreen): We all especially enjoy your section about the Shrine.

  JIM (offscreen): You like that, huh . . . ?

  YOUNG MONK (offscreen): Very much.

  153Angle: The three of them, JIM signing.

  JIM (to NED, sotto): Which one am I?

  NED (to YOUNG MONK): I think Father Brown and I have to talk.

  JIM signs the book. The YOUNG MONK turns the book over.

  154Insert: The inscription reads, “Good luck, Brown and Riley.” The book is turned over again, to the back-cover photo, showing the two heavy men, one in a cowboy hat.

  155Angle: The YOUNG MONK looking up at JIM and NED.

  YOUNG MONK: This photo doesn't do you justice.

  JIM: Where can you find justice in this world?

  155AInterior: Monastery—Refectory—Day.

  The YOUNG MONK nods reflectively. NED takes JIM by the arm, and they proceed out into the refectory. The YOUNG MONK follows, and the CAMERA FOLLOWS.

  YOUNG MONK: You'll be coming in the Procession tomorrow?

  NED: Depends on how things fall out. I can't give you a definite yes or no . . . if you'd excuse us, please . . . we have to talk about writing things.

  YOUNG MONK: Of course.

  The YOUNG MONK nods respectfully. CAMERA FOLLOWS NED and JIM for a beat.

  156Interior: Chapel—Day.

  One old FAT MONK praying, NED and JIM come into the church, look around. NED slips the clippers out from the pew, and the two of them go into the confessional.

  157Interior: Confessional—Day.

  JIM: What took you so long?

  NED: I got busy.

  JIM: That kid gave me his beads.

  NED: I'm very happy for you. Hold still.

  NED gets the clippers on him; we hear the chain POP.

  JIM: Oh, thank you.

  NED: Now, a dash across the river, and it's Free Street, baby.

  JIM: I'm with you, Neddy.

  NED: Some booze and some broads and this country can kiss my ass.

  They start out of the confessional.

  158Interior: Monastery—Chapel—Day.

  The FAT MONK looks up as the two come out of the confessional box. Beat. NED and JIM look at the FAT MONK. The FAT MONK looks at them questioningly. Beat. NED and JIM run out of the church.

  159Exterior: Monastery—Day.

  CAMERA FOLLOWS them PAST the conference we have seen earlier, various priests disputing.

  FATHER LEVESQUE: Ah! Father Brown, Father R
iley, perhaps you could settle an abstruse point for us . . .

  NED (shrugs): I never got the knack of it.

  They keep walking.

  FATHER LEVESQUE (calling after them): We'll see you tonight at the Shrine? Do you have a request for the Procession?

  160Exterior: Shanty town—Day.

  NED and JIM hurrying toward the border.

  JIM: What is this thing with the Shrine?

  NED: Some Shrine, it's some Madonna, it cries, it works miracles.

  JIM: It what, it what, it changes things into other things . . . ?

  NED: I don't know.

  CAMERA FOLLOWS them THROUGH the short main street of the town, TOWARD the border.

  NED: We hit the border, you make the sign of the cross over the guy, I make the sign of the cross over the guy. (He hands him a Bible.) Mumble something, look down in your book, here we go. . . .

  CAMERA FOLLOWS them PAST the wanted poster of the three convicts. JIM turns to look at the poster. He hunches down into his coat, pulls the muffler up over his face. NED combs his hair down over his forehead.

  JIM: What do you think happened to Bobby . . . ?

  NED: I don't know. I hope he made it, too.

  JIM: What's the first thing you're going to do when you get free, Ned?

  NED: Keep your mouth off it, Jim, and we'll talk about it on the northern side.

  160AExterior: Town Square—Day.

  They pass under the banner which reads, RESTORE THE SHRINE OF ST. ANN. They pass the hardware store owner.

  SHOPKEEPER: Afternoon, Father . . .

  They both nod to him. CAMERA CONTINUES as the two progress toward the border.

  JIM: I‘M gonna do, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do something important.

  NED: Yeah, that's fine.

  JIM: I figure you're only alive so long, you might as well do something with yourself.

  NED: Uh-huh.

  They continue toward the border, where a GUARD is processing a line of people. He recognizes them from a distance and waves. They wave back.

  NED: Piece of cake. Head in the book, read the book, mumble, over we go.

  161Exterior: Town Square—Day.

  Angle: In the background, the warden's boat can be seen chugging down the river. Dark figures silhouetted on it, dogs straining on leashes. NED and JIM move forward. We hear a man's VOICE: “Hold on one minute. . . . “ NED and JIM look up. It is the DEPUTY. He comes over.

  DEPUTY: I just wanted to thank you.

  NED: Hey, you don't owe me anything. . . . Glad to do it. Glad to be of a chance to help.

  NED looks around. Sotto ("Oh, no . . . “)