Something in the Water

by Teresa Mummert

  August 17, 2018

  I held Emery against my chest even though the air conditioning wasn’t working well, and the room was sweltering hot. It was nearly four in the morning, and I still hadn’t gotten any sleep.

  I went over every moment of the time I’d spent with her, wondering what I could have done differently so that I would have had a chance at some sort of future with her. But what was done was done. I couldn’t change things, I could only try to do what was right from here on out.

  Emery groaned and rolled away from me, and I reluctantly let her go, sitting up on the end of the bed, staring at my guitar. I needed to slow my mind down; slow time.

  Grabbing my notebook, I slipped outside and lit a cigarette as I poured everything I was feeling onto the pages.

  When I finished, the paper was smudged with ashes, and my conscience felt a little more at ease. I slipped back into the room and put everything away before I sank down in front of Emery and brushed her hair from her face. Her eyes blinked open, and she smiled.

  “Come back to bed. You were keeping me warm.”

  “It’s hot as hell, and It’s time to get up.”

  “Aww,” she pouted, her eyes closing again. “I want to stay in bed forever.”

  “Come on,” I pressed my lips against her forehead and her smile brightened. “Please.”

  “Fine.” She sat up, bowing her back like a cat as she stretched before throwing the covers off her long, slender legs and hopping out of bed. “You owe me a coffee,” she warned as she grabbed a change of clothing and padded to the bathroom. A few minutes later she was in front of me, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. Her gaze landed on our packed bags on the bed, and her eyes widened.

  “We’re doing it? We’re going someplace fun?” She asked, her excitement seemed to electrify her. But the three loud knocks on the heavy hotel door felt like a gunshot to my chest.

  Emery’s face turned ghost white, and I could see the fear in her eyes. “Who do you think it is?” she whispered.

  I sank down on the bed and hung my head in my hands, unable to speak. The pain in my chest was crippling.

  “Ford?” Her voice was more alarmed now, and it hurt so badly that she was worried and I couldn’t do anything about it.

  “Emery Layne, Open this door right now,” Her stepfather’s voice called from outside.

  I turned my head to look at her, my vision blurred with tears.

  “Ford, what are we going to do? We have to do something! Ford?”

  I stood slowly, feeling like I was walking to my own execution, only my green mile was dingy brown linoleum. I placed my hand on the door handle and pulled it open.

  Emery’s mother brushed by me and put her hands on Emery’s face as she began to sob. “I didn’t think we’d ever see you again,” she cried, but Emery’s eyes looked past her mom to me.

  “Ford,” she whispered.

  “Get your things. We’re leaving.” Sheriff Woodrow glared at me as he spoke to Emery. I slid by him and lit a cigarette as I paced the sidewalk in front of my car. This was wrong. What the hell was I doing?

  “You sure do make things exciting, T. Ford,” My uncle called out as he made his way across the parking lot.

  “Daven,” I began, but he shook his head.

  “We got plenty of time to talk about it,” he said, and I felt relief wash over me. I didn’t want to hash out what I was or wasn’t thinking when I took off with Emery. As her mother stepped out of the room, her arm around Emery’s shoulders, time felt like it slowed. I wished it had done that when it was just the two of us.

  “I don’t want to go,” Emery protested, and her cheeks were now red and her eyes swollen. It took everything I had not to pull her against my chest and comfort her, even though I knew it was probably the last thing she wanted.

  “You don’t have a choice,” her stepfather said between clenched teeth. His eyes went to me, and he sneered in disgust. “I guess I should thank you for that.”

  Emery’s head spun around, and her eyes narrowed as everything clicked into place. “Ford?”

  He said he wouldn’t tell her I’d called them if I told them where we were. I guess I should have known better. He wants to make sure his little girl never looks at me again. It was a smart move on his part. I swallowed back the bile that was rising in my throat. I knew I would hurt her eventually, but I had no idea how much it would kill me. “I’m sorry.”

  “What did you do?” She shrugged free from her mother’s arms and took a few hesitant steps toward me. “Did you... did you call them? Did you plan this?” Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks, clinging to her trembling chin.

  I looked at her, wanting to memorize every curve, every freckle. “It’s what’s best for you,” I confessed, and I could see the exact moment her heart shattered in her chest. She took a few more steps and was in front of me now, her face contorted in anger.

  “How could you do this to me? How could you?” Her hands shoved against my chest, and I took a step back but made no move to stop her. I deserved everything she wanted to say or do.

  When she didn’t get a response, it only made her more upset. Her mother grabbed her arm, but she shrugged her off again, determined to make sure I knew how much I’d hurt her.

  “Were you just sick of me? Is that it? Huh?” Tears began to slide down the apples of her cheeks. “What was the point of all this, Ford?” she yelled before her voice fell. “Did you even care about me at all?”

  “More than anything,” I confessed as her eyes narrowed.

  “Well guess what, Ford? I hate you.” I struggled not to pull her against my chest and tell her how much she means to me. It was better this way. It was better that she hated me, even if it killed me inside. The bright light I’d seen in her eyes when we were together was gone now. I’d snuffed it out.

  Her thin fingers gripped the faux pearl necklace on her chest, and she tugged, ripping free from her neck. “I hate you,” she said quietly through clenched teeth as her eyes locked onto mine. “I will never forgive you for this.”

  “That’s enough,” her mother put her arm around her shoulder and pulled her back from me, walking her to her stepdad.

  “Remember what I said, Ford,” he warned as he put his arm around Emery and they all walked to the other side of the lot and got into his car. How could I forget? But it was easy to promise that I’d never come near her again because I knew she would hate me when she found out I’d called them. No matter what I thought about her stepdad, when I’d called him from her phone, I could hear the relief in his voice when he found out their daughter was okay. I knew I’d made the right choice.

  I watched as the car pulled out and disappeared down the street before I glanced to Daven, who was leaning against my car, rubbing his palm along his stubbled jaw. I tossed the butt of my cigarette to the ground and bent over, picking up the broken necklace, sliding it into my pocket.

  “I know why you came down here, T. Ford. A lot of memories.”

  “Lot of bad ones,” I mumbled. But now I’d made a lot of new ones, and even if Emery hated me, nothing could take back that time we’d spent together. I hoped one day she would understand why I’d done what I did and hopefully forgive me. But I knew I’d never be able to forgive myself for hurting her. The only thing I’d gotten right was my cause of death because my heart was now irreparably broken.

  20

  EMERY

  August 21, 2018

  My eyes went unfocused as I stared down at the pages of my book. It was hard not to think about what Ford was doing. I wondered if he thought of me or if the moment I left, he pushed me to that place in his subconscious where he used to lock away all of his bad memories. I hoped that wasn’t what I was to him, but the pain of his betrayal was still too fresh in my mind to think that he really ever cared.

  I knew we were young, but it didn’t feel like I would ever be able to forget the boy who stole my heart and the beaded necklace that I’d discarded at his feet as if it meant no
thing at all.

  It took three days for me to even get out of bed, barely eating a bite of toast before my stomach felt like it was revolting against me.

  My mother was by my side constantly, although all I wanted was to be left alone. I realized how much she had really cared about me. Perhaps she ran from Daddy for the same reasons I’d ran to Ford. He was a wild one, unable to be tamed by anyone. I knew now how damaging that could be to a fragile heart. I’d always thought she could discard Eli and me as easily as she had my father.

  I’d put her through hell, and it had taken its toll on her. I think she was also scared I might run again, but she didn’t have anything to worry about. I’d learned my lesson the hard way.

  My stepfather wasn’t as quick to forgive. I hadn’t left my house since they’d brought me back, and the little comforts I did have were taken from me.

  Even Bridgett refused to take my calls since I’d run off without telling her. The last time I tried to call her, her mother answered and made sure I knew in no uncertain terms, that her daughter wasn’t allowed to hang out with the likes of me. It turns out when Bridgett mentioned that she would sneak out to hang with friends, she was referring to me. Her momma long had a rule not to go to my house. The kids weren’t the only ones in the neighborhood who thought I was crazy.

  Time drug on so slowly now, and as I ran my brush through my hair, I cringed at the reflection that stared back at me in the new vanity mirror. It had been replaced, the mess swept away as if nothing had happened. I wondered if Momma would have done the same with me if I hadn’t returned, just like she had with Daddy. I looked pale, and there was dark purple under my eyes from my lack of sleep. No smiles tugged at my lips.

  “Did you empty your bookbag?” My mother asked as she stuck her head into the bathroom.

  I dropped the brush into the sink, and it clattered loudly against the porcelain. “I’ll be down soon.”

  She nodded, and I could tell she wanted to say something else to me, but she left me alone to get ready for school. It was my first day back, and I was dreading having to be around other people. The other kids had already had a week to get settled in.

  I walked back into my room, glancing out of the window at Daven’s empty driveway. Ford never came back. I thought he’d stay in New Orleans an extra day, but as each sleepless night turned into a tired morning, I lost all hope.

  Sinking down on my knees, I grabbed my bag and began to pull out my clothing from the trip. I flipped over the stained tank top from the first time I thought Ford might kiss me and I had to swallow against the lump forming in my throat.

  I tossed it to the floor and gasped when I stuck my hand back in the bag and pulled out Ford’s notebook. I flipped open the cover and ran my fingers over the indentations where his pen had marked the pages.

  Several pages had been torn out, leaving a shredded edging. My eyes scanned the first page that simply read Emery and Ford. A wet circle spread out on the paper, smudging the ink as a tear fell. I swiped at my cheek and turned the page, reading the song he’d written about me. I continued to flip through the pages that were filled with notes and poems he’d written about us. My eyes dancing over the writing in shock as I read his confessions from an abusive childhood, to what brought him across the country and briefly into my life. But it didn’t change anything. I was still stuck here.

  “Emery! Your ride is here!”

  “Coming,” I called back as I shoved the notebook back into my bookbag, not bothering to pack any other supplies. I hurried down the steps and out of the front door.

  I’d hoped to see Ford, leaning against his muscle car, smiling widely, his dark hair a mess like he’d just woke up and ran his fingers through it. Instead, I was greeted by Marcus.

  I stopped short before forcing myself to continue forward. His smile was as wide as usual, but it didn’t reach his eyes. I pulled open the door of his hunter green Jeep and reluctantly climbed inside.

  “You look surprised to see me. I told you I’d take you on your first day. I just thought it would be a week ago...” his voice trailed off. There was an edge to his words now, no longer carefree and playful. I deserved that.

  “I just hoped my brother would come,” I lied.

  We began driving down the road and out of the neighborhood. “He’s doing really well. All that It works if you work it crap.” Letting out a little chuckle, he reached for the radio and hit a few buttons to change the station. Achy-Breaky Heart began to fill the void in the background.

  “I hope he makes it the twenty-eight days,” I say, my voice monotone. I was trying. I really was. But I was exhausted. I wished my parents would send me to rehab to help me get over the addiction of staring out of my bedroom window, pining for a guy who wasn’t there.

  Maybe he never really was. Maybe I’d concocted him in my overactive imagination and I really was crazy like everyone thought. My mind drifted to my father and all of the times I’d dreamed he’d come to save me, to take me away from this place.

  Marcus reached for my hand, and I pulled mine away. I didn’t miss the look of hurt that crossed his face. He shook his head, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly enough to cause his knuckles to go white.

  “I knew that boy would hurt you,” he seethed, the jaw muscles jumping as he clenched his teeth.

  “What? You don’t even know him,” I snapped.

  “I told the sheriff he should have had him arrested,” he continued, ignoring me, like everyone else.

  “It would have been the first time the sheriff ever actually did his job.” I folded my arms, my heart pounding inside of my chest so hard it felt like it was rattling my entire body.

  “He’s a good man. Most aren’t lucky enough to have a man like him as a father.”

  “Lucky, like you?” I turned toward him, my eyes narrowed. He glanced over at me several times in rapid succession. We all had our dirty little secrets.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Like we all don’t know how your momma acts toward him.”

  “Don’t badmouth my mother, Emery.”

  “Don’t butt into my life anymore, Marcus. What I do is none of your business.”

  “He didn’t come back, did he?” He asked with a smirk on his lips that made me want to recoil. “And you’re still defending him, just like you’ve been defending your daddy all these years. You wouldn’t know a good man if he jumped up and bit ya’.” He threw the Jeep in park as we stopped in the parking lot before turning toward me, caging me against the door. “I coulda made you happy. Now you’re all used up.” His lip turned up in a snarl. He was disgusted with me. “You let that boy touch you, didn’t you? Didn’t you? You let him ruin you.”

  “I was already ruined.”

  21

  FORD

  August 17, 2018

  We sat in the parking lot of the motel, Daven in the driver seat of my car.

  “It took a lot for you to call ‘dem,” he said, causing my stomach to turn. “I know why you came down here.”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t find him,” I replied.

  “I know,” Daven threw the car in reverse, and we began the long journey back to DeRidder. Every car we passed, I looked for Emery. I wanted to see her face one last time, desperate to catch a final glimpse of her. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away from her if I went back to Daven’s.

  “He never came back,” I spoke as I looked out of the window, picking up our conversation from nearly an hour ago.

  “Yo’ dad?” He asked.

  “Maybe there were too many bad memories.”

  “A man like your father doesn’t feel guilty... empathetic.” He shook his head. “That’s how I know you’re nothing like him, Ford. You’re your own man. A good man.”

  “I wanted to kill him,” I confessed. Daven just nodded his head. He understood. I was sure if he could ever get his hands on the guy who’d killed his wife and son, he would have taken his life as well. “Do you think I did th
e right thing?” I asked, my mind shifting back to Emery.

  He chewed the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know, Ford.” It wasn’t the response I was expecting. “But I know at least this way you have a chance to see her again. And I won’t be havin’ to visit you in jail.” The side of his mouth twisted up into a smirk, but the air was heavy between us.

  I didn’t tell him that I may still end up there, once I found who hurt Emery. The initials M.S. that was scratched into her flesh, hidden behind other scars, flashed into my mind. I didn't know if Emery would ever forgive me, but it didn’t matter, as long as I made sure she was safe.

  “You know, I did do what I could for you and your momma.” The apple in his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard.

  Rubbing the palms of my hands against my eyes, I let out a groan. I didn’t want to deal with any of this anymore. I was tired. Tired of running. Tired of being so damn angry. “It wasn’t enough.”

  “Ford –”

  “Just drop me off at a hotel. I got a few things to handle before I leave town.” That was the last thing I’d said to Daven.

  August 21, 2018

  Every second felt like it was dragging by. I’d showed up at DeRidder High, home of the Dragons, the past two days in hopes of catching a glimpse of Emery. I needed to make sure she knew that I didn’t want to just get rid of her. I was trying to be the man I should have been when I met her. It was day three, and I’d all but lost hope when I noticed the dark green Jeep pull into an open spot. I saw Emery’s hair whip around her face, like the chocolate colored curtain she often hid behind.

  Then, I saw red.

  The prick who’d hit me had her caged against the passenger door. Marcus. That motherfucker probably thought I was long gone and he had a chance to swoop in.

  “Mr. Salt,” a teacher called out from a few rows of cars over, and I stopped in my tracks. Marcus Salt. It was his initials hidden under the jagged scars on Emery’s thigh.