Sarah's Solace

by Sarah's Solace (epub)

  I tried to occupy my mind by playing around on my laptop behind the counter at the gallery when Monica walked in.

  “Hey!” I yelled out when I saw her. I walked over and gave her a hug. “How are you?”

  “Fine. Busy, though.”

  “I know. Every time I call you’re busy with a patient or busy with the kids.”

  She nodded and rolled her eyes. “I’m stressed, but I’m loving every minute of it. I just make sure I don’t let my appointments with my patients get out of control.”

  “Well, I see you got some time to shop.” I noticed the bags she was carrying.

  “Just a few things.” She smiled at me deviously. “I got you something too.”

  She handed me a bag, and I gave her a look to tell her she shouldn’t have. I moved aside the tissue paper and pulled out a very nice designer leopard print purse.

  Monica laughed. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. Veronica told me.”

  It took me a moment, but I finally got it. “Because I’m a cougar, right?” I wanted to be angry, but I knew she was just joking with me, so I decided to let her have her fun.

  “You know I’m just messing with you. I think it’s great actually. Veronica told me all about him and how well you’ve hit it off. It’s about time!”

  “We’ll see how it goes, but yeah, he’s a very interesting and mature guy and…”

  She motioned for me to continue.

  “And I’m crazy about him,” I admitted.

  Monica smiled big and then hugged me. “I’m so happy for you! I gotta get back to work, but call me, OK?”

  “I will. Thanks for the purse.”

  “Handbag! You’re welcome,” she winked as she walked out.

  Leave it to Monica, I thought. I knew the point that she was trying to make, though. I had to laugh about things sometimes and not be so uptight. I put the handbag on the counter and examined it some more, realizing she spent way too much money, so I would have to actually use it. I heard the doorbell again and turned around to see that it was Dylan. My heart went wild at the sight of him.

  “Hey,” he said with his big smile. He walked up to the counter and gave me an unexpected kiss on the cheek.

  “Hi! This is a surprise!”

  “I finally have time for a quick lunch. I hope I’m not too late. I know I should have called, but…”

  “Oh no, that’s fine! And you’re not too late.”

  “Good,” he said with relief.

  “Just let me grab my purse,” I said as I headed to the back room.

  “Isn’t this it?” he asked, pointing at my new handbag.

  “Oh no, that’s a gift I just got from my friend Monica. It’s kind of a joke.”

  “I don’t get it,” he said as I came back out.

  “That’s OK,” I said with a little laugh. I put it under the counter. “Let’s go.”

  We grabbed lunch at a Mexican take-out place that Dylan drove us to. The food was spicy and flavorful. It really hit the spot. I realized, however, that I was barely speaking to him because I was enjoying it so much.

  “So what are you doing this weekend?” he casually asked between bites.

  I had to finish chewing before I could answer. “No plans really, just working at the gallery.”

  “Do you have to be there?”

  “Well, I don’t have to. I have enough help. Why?”

  “How would you like to go camping?”

  “Camping?”

  He chuckled. “You don’t seem too sure about that.”

  “Oh no, it’s just…I haven’t been camping since I was a child. I admit that I’m a little scared of the woods.”

  He laughed and shook my shoulder playfully. “You scared of the boogeyman?”

  He had no idea, but I certainly wasn’t going to explain.

  “Come on. It’ll be fun!”

  I smiled and debated it in my mind.

  “Just you and me, alone with nature, fresh air, good exercise, curling up by the fire…”

  I couldn’t resist a weekend with Dylan, although I wondered if we were ready for that. “You don’t think maybe it’s too soon.”

  He blushed as if realizing what I was referring to. “Oh no, I wasn’t trying to…I promise I’ll bring two sleeping bags. It’s not too often I manage to get two days off, so I thought it would be really fun.”

  “It does sound like fun.” I smiled at him again. “Just let me know what to pack, because I have no clue.”

  He laughed and put his arm around me, rubbing my arm as I took another bite of my taco. It already felt like we were a couple.

  Dylan met me at my apartment early Saturday morning. I was still rushing around trying to tidy up and make sure I had enough food and water out for Priscilla. I met him downstairs and invited him up for a moment.

  “I’m almost ready,” I told him.

  “I like your place.”

  “Thanks.”

  Priscilla immediately began rubbing against his legs. He picked her up and started rubbing her back. I stood there in disbelief that she wasn’t trying to jump out of his arms. She wasn’t used to visitors and didn’t usually warm up to people so soon.

  “She likes you,” I told him.

  “She’s beautiful. What’s her name?”

  “Priscilla.”

  “Priscilla. I’ve always liked that name.”

  “I named her after a friend of mine.” I usually didn’t tell people that, but it felt easy to speak freely in front of Dylan, to an extent. “Her,” I explained as I pointed to the drawing that was now hanging in my dining area.

  I couldn’t bring myself to keep it just packed away again after I brought it home from the gallery, especially after her husband so graciously let me keep it. Dylan walked over to the drawing and stared at it while I continued making sure I had everything packed.

  “She looks really familiar,” he said, as if he were in deep thought trying to remember where he had seen her. “All of your drawings make me feel like I know the person, though.”

  I moved closer to him, taking in his scent. “So, I think I’m ready.”

  He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. “Did you bring some warm clothing?”

  “Yes, I did. I think I have everything,” I answered as I realized that my hands were placed on his hips.

  “OK. Let’s go!”

  “Usually I hike up the mountain,” he told me as we travelled up the bumpy dirt road. “But I figured it would be best to drive most of the way this time. I know a place where we can camp without having to walk far.”

  “Thank you.” I was already getting lost, not having been to the area before. We had already been on the road travelling north for a couple of hours.

  “I love the state parks too, but it’s nice to go primitive camping to really get away from society, as much as possible anyway. You’ll love the views on this mountain.”

  “Who do you usually go camping with?”

  “My buddies usually, but sometimes by myself.”

  “No girls?”

  He shrugged. “I have before, but most of them don’t get into it much.”

  “So now you’re testing me out,” I teased.

  “If you don’t like it, that’s OK,” he assured me with a smile, patting my knee and sending exhilarating chills through my body again.

  Once we arrived, it was all about work for a while. I listened to his instructions and helped out the best I could to set up, and before I knew it, we had the tent and everything in place. I finally stopped to take a better look around me, enjoying the scenery as I sipped on my water. We were situated at a clearing, which allowed us to see a spectacular view of the surrounding mountains.

  Dylan walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist. “See, I told you it’s beautiful here.”

  I sighed and rested my head back on his chest.

  “You want to go for a short hike and gather up some firewood on the way back?” he asked.

  “Sure.�
��

  I followed him through the woods, trying to keep up, but he continually looked behind me and smiled. “So why are you afraid of the woods?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “I’ve got time.”

  I was silent. I shouldn’t have set myself up for the inquisition.

  “You don’t have to tell me,” he finally said. “I don’t mean to pry. It just concerns me that anything bad might have happened to you.”

  “It’s nothing to be concerned about. I’m fine. I just…crashed my car into the woods when I was a teenager.” Why was I telling him this? “So it was scary to be wandering around in the woods afterwards.”

  He stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at me. “Were you badly hurt? What did you do?”

  “I…it was a bad crash, but I finally found someone who was nice and helped me out. But I later discovered that there were some other people around who weren’t so nice.”

  “So you were pretty lucky.”

  “Yeah,” I said with a frown.

  He rubbed my shoulder again. “Well, you’ll be safe with me. I promise. We’re going to have a great time.”

  “I know we will,” I told him as I looked into his eyes.

  We spent the rest of the day relaxing, talking, and going for the occasional walk. I felt so at ease with him, like nothing else mattered. I enjoyed listening to every detail of his life. He told me about his childhood, which was a pretty good one, his ‘obsession’, as he called it, with music, and his love for the outdoors and the adventures he’d had.

  I always had a knack for saying the wrong thing, so I eventually asked him, “You don’t have any faults, do you?”

  He rolled his eyes as he was starting a fire. “Of course I do. Everybody does.”

  “Name one.”

  “I…never mind. I don’t want to scare you off.”

  “You won’t.”

  He shook his head.

  “Tell me.” Now I had to know.

  “I’ve had trouble in the past with commitment.”

  “You and me both.”

  “I don’t know why. For whatever reason, things would start out great and then fizzle. Usually it was me who would back out, because something no longer felt right.”

  He was speaking my words exactly. “I know what you mean. It doesn’t give us much hope, does it?” I asked regretfully.

  “I disagree.”

  “Why are you so confident?”

  “It feels different with you. I know that sounds like a line, but…I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

  “Have you ever been in love?” Too many words were coming out of my mouth, but I couldn’t stop them.

  “No, not really. You?” He looked at me intensely, wanting an honest answer.

  I couldn’t help tearing up. “Yes.”

  “What happened, if you don’t mind telling me?”

  I thought for a moment how to answer. I had only really been in love once. “He left me,” I said.

  “Well, he’s an idiot.”

  I bit my lip. “I think it’s time to break out the wine,” I suggested, forcing a smile.

  “I agree. I’m sorry, Sarah. I just want to get to know you better, but I keep reminding you of bad memories, so no more serious talk. How does that sound?” He took some Chardonnay out of the cooler.

  “Sounds good,” I said with relief. “And I really am having a good time.”

  “So I’m turning you into a camper?”

  “Ask me that after tonight.”

  He laughed and handed me my glass of wine. “Cheers,” he said.

  On that note, I decided to cheer up.

  We enjoyed a tasty steak dinner and baked potatoes, which we cooked on the fire. I don’t believe I’d ever had such a good steak in my life.

  “I told you everything tastes better when you’re camping,” he reminded me.

  “You’re right!” I leaned back and patted my stomach. “I am so full.”

  “No room for s’mores?” he asked with a grin.

  “Oh, no way. Sorry.”

  “More wine?”

  I had already lost track of how many cups I drank and was getting sleepy. “I think I’ll pass. Thanks.”

  “By the looks of you, I better not add any wood to the fire either.”

  “I know. I can’t hang. I’m sorry.”

  “No problem. I’m pretty tired too.”

  He walked over to my chair and held out his hand to pull me up, and then he smiled and led me to the tent. My nervousness about sleeping next to him was waking me up again.

  Dylan turned on the lantern once we were inside, making the tent glow in a way that looked romantic. He did bring two sleeping bags as promised, only they were on the same air mattress.

  “So we’ll be on the same bed,” I confirmed, smirking at him.

  He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “I can only fit one mattress in the tent. We could sleep head to toe if you’d like.”

  I let out a laugh. “No. That would be stupid. You mind if I change, though?” He had already changed into jogging pants, but I was still wearing jeans.

  “Oh, sure. I’ll um…turn around.”

  I took my sweat suit out of my bag. It wasn’t at all sexy, but it would keep me warm. As I quickly began changing, I realized that my shadow looked huge against the tent wall, and I wondered if he could see it, or would be trying to sneak a peek. A part of me wished he would. It gave me a feeling of déjà vu as I remembered that night I spent at the cabin…

  “All done,” I told him.

  “OK. Well, we should get some sleep then.”

  He crawled into his sleeping bag, and I quickly did the same, since I was still shivering after changing my clothes in the cold air.

  “You’ll warm up soon. I could help you out, though, like I did after the beach,” he suggested, trying to hide his smile.

  I giggled, still feeling the wine. “Goodnight, Dylan,” I said, and I leaned up and kissed his cheek. As I did, I felt his hand brush against my jaw and travel to the back of my neck. I looked him in the eyes for a split second, and then before I let myself think, I rushed to kiss his mouth. This time I didn’t just let our lips touch like before. I kissed him fully and passionately, not holding back and wanting more. I could feel him responding and returning my urgency. I was almost going into a trance. I wanted to feel his skin on mine, to taste him…

  He brought me back by pulling away first as we both tried to catch our breath. He sighed and then smiled. “And you wanted two sleeping bags,” he reminded me.

  I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t decide if I should be embarrassed or just attack him.

  “We better not rush things too much,” he said, but his eyes were disagreeing.

  I nodded and then ran my fingers through my hair. “You’re right.” I gave him a slight grin, and I lay back down, pulling my sleeping bag up around my shoulders as I was still facing him.

  Dylan lay down on his back and put his hands behind his head, letting out a deep breath. I slid over to him and put my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me and squeezed.

  “Goodnight,” I whispered.

  He kissed the top of my head. “Sleep well. I won’t let anything get you.”

  “OK,” I said with a giggle.

  I don’t know what time I woke up, but I knew I had been sleeping for a while, only not long enough, because it was still dark. I was groggy, and I could feel that the air was cold, only I felt warm in my sleeping bag. It was Dylan’s voice that woke me, and I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He was mumbling something over and over again in his sleep.

  I was still half asleep myself, but I put my arm around him. “Dylan,” I said softly, but he didn’t answer.

  “You have to…” he mumbled.

  I could barely see him in the darkness, but I could hear it in his voice. He was distressed, like he was having a bad nightmare about something that was hurting him.

  “Go back!�
� he said forcefully.

  “Dylan, wake up,” I told him again, raising my voice a little and shaking him gently.

  “Sarah,” he answered, but he was still sleeping.

  “I’m right here, Dylan.”

  “You have to go back! Do you hear me?”

  Since I couldn’t wake him, I tried answering. “I hear you, Dylan.”

  “You have to, Sarah.”

  I was getting frustrated and spoke louder to him. “I have to go back?”

  “Live…You have to live.”

  His words shocked me and chilled me to the bone. I took too long to respond, and he quit talking. He grabbed my hand and pulled my arm further around him as he sighed and then returned to a peaceful sleep.

  I, on the other hand, was deeply disturbed and worried. Was he having a nightmare that I would die? The last time I was told to go back and live, I was already a ghost.

  “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

  I slowly opened my eyes and saw Dylan smiling at me. It was daylight, and he was holding a cup of coffee.

  I stretched and smiled at him.

  “You want some coffee? I didn’t know how you like it.”

  “Yes, please. Just a little sugar and creamer.”

  I quickly dressed after he left the tent and then unzipped the door and stepped outside. It was sunny and cool outside, and I could smell bacon cooking. Dylan already had a good fire going and handed me my coffee.

  “Umm…hazelnut,” I said. “That’s my favorite.”

  “It’s time I finally tell you. I’m psychic.”

  I tilted my head and looked at him suspiciously, and then he laughed, “I saw it by your coffee machine at the gallery.”

  I smiled and shook my head, taking a seat in front of the fire. “You shouldn’t be doing all the work here. Can I help?”

  “Just relax.”

  I watched him finish with the bacon before he started on the eggs and toast.

  “How did you sleep?” he asked.

  “Pretty good,” I replied, not wanting him to be disappointed. I didn’t want to embarrass him by bringing up his nightmare, but I was too curious. I really wanted to know some details. “How about you?”

  “Good.”

  I contemplated how to continue and then quizzed him some more. “You know, I thought I heard you saying something in your sleep?”