Sarah's Solace

by Sarah's Solace (epub)

  “I didn’t say that. It’s just a lot to process.”

  “I know.”

  “And you’re just telling me now, after all these years.”

  I had to wipe my tears again. “I’m so sorry, Monica.”

  “And Veronica, she always knew. She was a part of it.” She got up and started pacing. “Wow. I feel like an idiot.”

  “You’re not! I was wrong not to tell you. I was afraid to tell anyone, especially at that age. My parents already were afraid that I was unstable after losing Alexis and then almost dying myself. Could you imagine if I had told them that I had an out-of-body experience and fell in love with a ghost?”

  “I’m not your parents.”

  “I know, but you’ve never believed in ghosts.” She didn’t answer. “I still should have told you,” I continued. “I’m so sorry. I was just scared. The only reason Veronica knew is because she could see him herself.”

  “Why couldn’t the rest of us?”

  “In this case, maybe because you really didn’t want to.”

  “I always knew you were hiding something from me.” She sat back down on the sofa, lost in her thoughts. “Why are you telling me now?”

  “Because Dylan…is Ethan.”

  “What?”

  “Dylan was born on the same day that Ethan went into the light.”

  Monica laughed in disbelief and buried her head in her hands. We heard a light knock on the door, and then her secretary peeked in to inform her that her next patient would be arriving soon. “Please call him and cancel,” Monica instructed her. “We apologize but there’s been an emergency. In fact, cancel all of my appointments today.”

  “I’m sorry, Monica. I can go…” I suggested as I reached for my purse.

  “No. Stay,” she said firmly.

  Her secretary, noticing that something was wrong, gently closed the door to give us our privacy again.

  “So, you’re telling me that Ethan’s spirit was placed in Dylan’s body?” She laughed lightly. “I can’t believe I’m saying this!”

  “He didn’t have any memory of being Ethan until we met at Bamberger’s, and then it all gradually came back to him. It was fate, Monica, or whatever you call it. We found each other again.”

  Finally, she started to smile, remembering her initial excitement about the news of my wedding.

  “Do you believe me?” I asked.

  “It’s a lot to take in.”

  I nodded in agreement.

  “You’ve been through a lot, Sarah.”

  I nodded again. It wasn’t exactly an admission of belief, but it was sympathy that I didn’t even feel I deserved after I had been such a horrible friend.

  “It’s a great story, though,” she said with a laugh.

  I smiled back at her. “With a very happy ending.”

  “Veronica’s going to hear it from me.”

  I chuckled, trying to keep the tone light. “I’m sure she will. It’s not her fault, though. She always wanted to tell you.” I paused with a bit of hesitation. “By the way, there’s something I want to ask you. Will you be my matron-of-honor?”

  For a moment, Monica seemed to forget everything else. “Really?”

  “You’ve always been my best friend, even though I don’t deserve you.”

  Monica hugged me again. “You know I love you, and I would love to be your matron-of-honor.”

  I cried and held her tight. “I love you too.”

  I felt so relieved. Veronica and Dylan were right. I had underestimated her.

  “Hey, Sarah,” Monica said before I walked out, and I turned around to face her again. “I’ll keep your secret.”

  I smiled at her and finally exhaled as I walked out the door.

  45. Meeting the Parents

  Dylan picked me up at the gallery on Saturday so we could head straight to Willows.

  “I’m so nervous,” I told him as soon as we were on the road.

  “If you were able to handle telling Monica the truth about me, then you can handle telling your parents we’re getting married…unless you’re thinking of telling them more.”

  “God no!”

  Dylan smiled and rolled his eyes. “You’re forcing me to lie to them too then, pretending like I’ve never met them or been in your house.”

  He was starting to make me angry again.

  “Would you want to tell you parents the whole story?” I asked.

  He chuckled and nodded his head. “Point taken.”

  We both sat in silence for a few moments, keeping our eyes on the road.

  “So what made you decide to tell Monica?”

  “I was tired of deceiving her. For all these years it’s been the three of us, yet Veronica and I were always hiding this huge part of my life from her. I couldn’t stand the thought of it being the same situation with her by my side at my wedding, not knowing who you really are and how miraculous it is that I found you again. I wanted her to know the whole truth.”

  “I’m proud of you for opening up to her. Is she OK now?”

  “I think so. I’ve been putting her mind into high gear with wedding plans. Speaking of…We need to set a date,” I reminded him with excitement.

  “The sooner the better,” he said, rubbing my thigh.

  “Well, it’s October already, so should it be a holiday wedding, like in December?”

  “No, sooner.”

  “November?”

  “Sooner,” he smiled.

  “There’s no possible way! I can’t plan a wedding that fast!”

  “Why not? I would marry you this minute if I could.”

  “Me too, but…” I couldn’t think of a really good reason. I was just as anxious to marry him, and we already decided that we didn’t want the wedding to be too huge or extravagant, even though Monica was already thinking that way. “Well, maybe the end of October,” I suggested.

  He thought for a moment and then smiled mischievously. “How about Halloween?”

  I laughed loudly. “Halloween? Are you crazy?”

  “Think about it. The night that the souls rise again. Considering our history, it seems fitting in a twisted way, doesn’t it?”

  I smiled and shook my head. “I don’t know.” I thought about it seriously for a moment, already considering how we could decorate. “We’re not wearing costumes!” I warned him.

  “You mean I can’t dress up like a ghost?”

  “That’s not funny.”

  He laughed and apologized. “Whatever you want to do, Sarah. I want you to be happy.”

  I thought again for a moment, and a memory of Priscilla’s party popped into my head. I had a feeling that she would love the idea. “Monica’s gonna flip out,” I thought out loud as I smiled.

  As we pulled up the drive to my parents’ house, my stomach was in knots once more.

  “Wow. It feels so strange to be here again,” said Dylan as he grabbed our bags.

  “I can’t believe you’re here with me.”

  It had turned dark outside, but my mom made sure to leave the light on for us. The inside of the house looked cozy and inviting, so I had to remind myself that my parents would make Dylan feel warm and welcome.

  “I just realized that I didn’t ask your father for your hand,” he said with fear.

  This really made me laugh, easing the tension. “Don’t worry. We’re, well, I’m a little old for that.” However, I quickly slipped off my ring and put it in my purse. I wanted to tell them when I was ready.

  I knocked lightly on the door before we walked in, but they didn’t hear me. Brownie didn’t bark, which surprised me. Dylan started petting her, and he gave me a sad look, realizing that Blondie had passed away years ago.

  We found my dad sitting in the living room in front of the TV. I smiled at Dylan as we set our bags down and quietly walked over to him.

  “Hey, Dad!” I said, breaking him out of his zone.

  “Sarah! I didn’t hear you come in!” He got up from the sofa, looking a litt
le embarrassed.

  “You should keep the door locked after dark,” I told him.

  “Look at you, trying to protect me?” he laughed. He stood taller and put out his hand to Dylan while examining him. “Hi there. I’m Mitchell Martin.”

  Dylan smiled and shook his hand firmly. “Dylan Harper. Nice to meet you.”

  “You too,” my dad answered.

  “Your mother’s in the kitchen,” my dad told me as he walked with us. “She’s been trying to keep dinner warm.”

  Mom was taking a casserole out of the oven when we walked in. I noticed that she was wearing a little more make-up than usual since she knew that I was bringing a guest. Her eyes lit up once she saw us, and she came over to give me a hug.

  “Mom, this is Dylan.” I believe she could tell by the way I introduced him that he was someone very special to me. “Dylan, this is my mom, Melinda.”

  She smiled at him and then gave him a gentle hug, surprising him it seemed. It had to be so strange for him to be in my house again and with my parents, only this time he was really a part of my family, not just a silent observer who I had to hide. I loved it.

  “Would you like a drink, Dylan?” she asked.

  “Sure. Beer if you have it.”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll get it, Mom,” I intervened.

  She continued to set the table while I also poured myself a glass of wine. She looked at me suspiciously. I rarely drank in front of them.

  “I still don’t drink and drive,” I reminded her.

  “I’m sure Sarah told you,” she said sadly to Dylan.

  He nodded. “Yes. I’m so sorry.”

  Mom tried to force a smile through her teary eyes.

  Once we all began eating, the interview began.

  “So Dylan, what do you do?” asked my dad.

  “I’m studying music. I play the cello.”

  “He’s phenomenal! You really should hear him play,” I said enthusiastically.

  “I also work at Bamberger’s, as a bartender,” he added.

  I was sure he wanted to let them know that he also made some money, only my parents didn’t look too impressed.

  “How did you too meet?” asked my mom with a smile.

  “At Bamberger’s. It’s a restaurant in San Francisco.” I said quickly. It wasn’t a complete lie. We did meet there, again.

  “I spilled a drink on her,” added Dylan, making me laugh.

  “It was so funny! Neither of us was watching where we were going, and I got soaked!” I explained.

  My mother smiled, but she didn’t find it as hilarious as we did.

  We spent the rest of our meal discussing more everyday things; how the gallery was doing, the state of my parents’ health, all the new gossip in town. When we finished, I cleared away our plates and helped my mom serve chocolate cake.

  Dylan quizzed me with his eyes, wondering when I was going to bring it up. I bit my lip, still not sure myself. Like a Band-Aid, I thought again. I put down my fork, nodded at Dylan, and cleared my throat. Dylan put his hand on my knee for support.

  “Mom, Dad, I wanted to bring Dylan here to meet you because we’re um…getting married,” I said with a shaky voice.

  I could tell that I had just shocked the hell out of them. My mom nearly choked on her water, and my dad simply stared at us, speechless.

  “Wow. You’re getting married? This is really…unexpected,” said my mom, and then she smiled and walked over to hug us.

  I knew her too well. She wasn’t as excited as she pretended to be.

  “I should have known,” said my dad with a smile. “She never brings a guy home to meet us,” he said to Dylan, and then he shook his hand. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks,” answered Dylan. “Your daughter makes me happier than I ever thought I could be.”

  “Well, this calls for a celebration!” exclaimed my mom, but she seemed to be forcing it. “I wish I had some champagne.”

  “That’s OK, Mom,” I told her.

  “Maybe I can talk Dylan into sharing a cigar with me,” suggested my father. “I’ve been saving some for a special occasion.”

  “Sounds terrific,” said Dylan, realizing that he should allow me some time to talk with my mother alone.

  She busied herself with clearing away the dishes and wiping things down while trying to appear like she was in a good mood. I helped her clean up, not saying a word, until I could no longer take it. I retrieved my ring and put it on to show her, hoping that it would spark some more excitement.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said with a smile, and then she was back to the dishes.

  “The wedding is in a few weeks. I really want you and Dad to be there.”

  “A few weeks?” she asked.

  “Yeah, on Halloween,” I said, expecting a reaction to our crazy idea, but she didn’t say a word.

  “Mom, please talk to me. What are you thinking?” I asked with hesitation.

  “I’m happy for you, sweetheart. It’s just rather sudden.”

  “I know.”

  “Why the big hurry?”

  At that moment, I wanted more than ever to tell her everything, but I couldn’t do it. I knew that it would be too much for her to handle.

  “I can’t explain it,” I told her. “But we’ve never been so sure of anything, Mom. We belong together, so why wait? I’m not getting any younger,” I joked, suddenly realizing that I was opening the door to a topic that I didn’t want to discuss.

  “I have to ask, Sarah. How old is he?”

  “He’s…nearly 21.”

  She smiled and shook her head. “I know it’s a different day and age, but that’s a big difference.

  “Physically,” I replied defensively.

  “Do you remember being 21? Do you think he really knows for sure what he wants? You’re a very attractive woman, and you look a lot younger than you are, so I understand his attraction to you and your attraction to him, but your minds are on different levels I’m sure.”

  “We’re not really…on different levels. I wish you could understand.” I was trying not to cry. “Dylan’s an old soul.”

  She smiled and let out a chuckle. “I’ve heard that one before, honey.”

  This made me angry, but I had to put myself in her shoes, since she didn’t know the truth. She walked over to me and rubbed my shoulder, trying to get me to look her in the eyes.

  “I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” she said with tears.

  “I won’t. We truly love each other. He’s the one I’ve been waiting for all this time.”

  “Then I’m happy for you.” She gave me a big hug, and I finally released a tear as well.

  Dylan and my father walked back in as we were drying our eyes.

  “Everything OK?” asked my dad.

  My mom gave him a smile that was genuine this time. “Everything’s great. They’re getting married on Halloween!”

  “Halloween?” he asked, giving us a strange look. “Should I wear a costume?”

  “No!” I laughed. “Please don’t.”

  “Now this really feels strange,” said Dylan as we entered my bedroom. “And it hasn’t changed much,” he said, smiling as he looked around.

  I took off my earrings and started changing into some pajamas.

  “So, what did you and your mom talk about?” he asked with concern.

  “Oh, she’s worried that you’re too young to know what you want.”

  He nodded with understanding.

  “I told her that you’re old soul. That’s the truth, right?”

  He smiled as he sat on my bed, and then he lay down and motioned for me to join him. I snuggled close to him and put my arm around his waist as he held me tightly.

  “We spent a lot of time like this, remember?” he asked softly.

  I still couldn’t believe I was with him again.

  “That’s because we couldn’t do anything else,” I said jokingly.

  “But now we can,” he said
as he rolled over on top of me and kissed me slowly.

  “Dylan…my parents might hear us,” I said nervously.

  “Call me Ethan tonight,” he said as he kissed my neck.

  There was no objecting after that, and I did call him Ethan, several times.

  46. Reacquaintance

  The next morning was nice and relaxing. Sarah and I kept smiling at each other while we ate our pancakes, still thinking about our night together. After a few cups of coffee and lots of talking with her parents, Sarah suggested that we hit the road. Her parents walked us out to the car, and her dad gave me a handshake and a pat on the back, and then her mother kissed my cheek and gave me a big hug before they kissed Sarah goodbye. They were waving and smiling at us as we pulled away.

  “I always loved M&M,” I told Sarah.

  “They seem to love you too.”

  “I hope so. We could have stayed longer.”

  “That’s OK. I wanted to get going. I’m thinking of making a stop on our way back.”

  “Where to?”

  “Sacramento,” she said timidly.

  It didn’t take me long to figure out what her intention was.

  “No. We’re not going to Sacramento.”

  “Don’t you want to see them?”

  I thought about it seriously for a moment. As soon as I remembered them again, I had really wanted to see how they were doing. At the same time, I knew that it would be too painful, maybe even more than before, because now I was alive again, but I couldn’t tell them.

  “If it were me,” she continued, “I would have to know how they’re doing. Obviously, we don’t need to tell them who you really are.”

  I was tempted. “I don’t know,” I said.

  “Or I could investigate for you. I’ve always wanted to meet them, and your new parents by the way.”

  “I love how you’re sneaking this in. You’ve been planning this.” I let out a deep breath. “OK.”

  Sarah smiled, satisfied with my cooperation.

  When we pulled into my old neighborhood, I was overwhelmed with memories and emotion from my past life, my death, and my spiritual life. Sarah patted my knee, sensing what I felt. She tried to ease the tension and laughed lightly when she said, “Remember when we haunted Heather?”