Tainted Black

by Shanora Williams

  “Ughhh.” I groaned, sitting up. My head pounded even more. I’d slept a little too long. Climbing out of bed, I went to the bathroom to freshen up and then put on a pair of shorts and a tank top.

  After informing Margie that I was going for an afternoon run, I was out of the door with my earphones plugged in my ears. I ran around Primrose twice and then entered the park, the park that held so many memories.

  As I neared the fountain, I helplessly looked to my right and spotted the line of trees Theo had taken me through once before. I knew that patch of grass was still there, the daises and sunflowers.

  I picked up my pace, running faster, zooming through the park and hitting the track. I ran it five times, until I became too tired and too out of breath. Bending forward, my palms on my thighs, I inhaled much needed oxygen, trying desperately to rid myself of all memories of him. It was impossible. They’d been seared into the core of my brain. They were permanent. There was no getting rid of him.

  The sun beamed down on me, heating my skin even more and making sweat spill down my face. Footsteps sounded behind me after several seconds had passed. Glancing over my shoulder, I spotted him running in my direction. I was sure he couldn’t see me. I was standing by the fence, out of his line of sight.

  I should have stayed bent over, perhaps then, he wouldn’t have seen me, but I stood up straight, watching him come nearer, and his eyes moved to the right, face going stiff. I couldn’t believe he still ran this track every day. I thought he’d killed that habit a long time ago, but it explained how he was still in great shape.

  Sweat glistened on his forehead, beads spilling down his defined chest and over his eight abs. He slowed his pace, meeting my eyes. We stared at each other, me confused and him remorseful. Lips parted, he began to speak—explain himself—but I quickly turned, dashing off and regaining all the energy I’d lost only moments ago.

  “Chloe!” he yelled after me.

  I ignored him, continuing my run to the gap in the fence. When I made it through, I hit the trail and jogged without looking back. Heavy steps crushed the gravel behind me, and I gasped, finally peering over my shoulder, spotting Theo getting closer.

  I picked up my pace, but I was no match for him, the man that used to play soccer when he was in high school. The man in such fine, sculpted shape. That man, period. His hand wrapped around my wrist when he made it by my side, spinning me in his direction.

  I instantly protested, struggling to yank away. “Theo! I’m done! Why can’t you just leave me alone!?”

  His eyes glistened, full of an unexplainable ache. Nostrils flared, he watched as I clawed and scratched at his hand, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. “You don’t feel bad about this?” he asked angrily, brows furrowed

  “About what!?”

  “About this! This, Chloe!”

  My fighting came to a cease, confusion taking anger’s place. Then, I realized what he meant. As he stepped forward, brought a hand to my waist, and tugged me in, I figured it all out. This, as in the foundation we lived on. The reason we’d met in the first place.

  The guilt.

  The shame.

  The bad.

  The good that felt so horribly wrong.

  He watched me with intense brown eyes. My bottom lip trembled, and when he noticed, he reached up, pressing the pad of his forefinger on the center of my mouth to stop it. Then, before I knew it, his face inched forward, and his mouth found mine. A groan rumbled deep in his throat as his lips collided with mine.

  My body reacted way differently than it should have. Instead of fighting—instead of protesting and shoving him away—I sank into his arms, and he picked me up. My legs hooked around his waist, hands cupping his smooth cheek. The scruff on his unshaven face rubbed across the smoothness of my palms, his damp lips consuming me. He stumbled into the shade. My back bumped against a tree, but his mouth didn’t dare pull away from mine.

  His cock grinded between my legs, his arousal making me crave every solid inch of him all over again. I moaned, my mind begging me to tell him to stop but my body refusing, falling deep into this lust. Into his clutches.

  In that moment, I felt like we couldn’t be stopped, like years of avoidance and disregard had finally caught up to us—like life was telling us we would never forget about each other. But then, in just the same amount of time, I remembered last night and the pain I felt when I saw him walk into that house with the girl.

  “Stop, Theo.” I shoved his face away.

  His head traveled down, lips pressing on the crook of my neck. “I don’t know what it is about this fucking park,” he growled. “Maybe it’s the way the sunlight bounces off your skin when you run through the trail.” His head lifted, gaze matching mine. “Or maybe it’s because when it comes to this place, we aren’t restrained. And no one can see. No one cares. It’s our place…” His finger came to my chin, tilting it up. His lips then landed on my cheek, and he kissed me tenderly, blinking slowly before his eyes dropped. He then placed my feet on the ground, running his fingers through his damp, raven hair.

  I felt like I’d been ripped right away from him. I wanted him to stop, to listen, but I didn’t want him away from me. I moved forward, placing my hand on his chest. “Why didn’t you text me?” I whispered. He struggled with words, eyes avoiding mine. I caught his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “Why?”

  “You know why, Chloe.”

  “You thought of Izzy?”

  “I thought of you.”

  I frowned. “No. You didn’t think of me.”

  Confusion made his face warp.

  “If you had thought about me, we wouldn’t be here. You would have known that I was actually looking forward to that text—a location. A place to meet.”

  “I can’t fucking hurt you, Chloe. Don’t you understand that the only thing that comes out of this is pain? Someone will get hurt in the end…”

  “Don’t you think I know that? Yes, it’s a risk—”

  “A risk we shouldn’t even try to take.”

  I sighed, mildly agitated. “If we don’t, we’ll keep ending up like this—in this fucking park, fighting hard not to touch each other.” His lips pressed, but I continued. “If we don’t do anything about it, every time we see each other, it will result in a situation like this.”

  He looked down. “Fucking you in the park…”

  “You touching me,” I added.

  “Unable to fight my feelings…”

  “Me craving every single part of you… never forgetting what we did.”

  Theo stepped forward, looking down at me, jaw locked. His smoldering brown eyes bolted with mine. With slow, cautious action, he lifted his arm, bringing his hand to my face. He cupped my cheek, and his head lifted as he studied my face, breath bated.

  My breath caught as well, the air between us impenetrable. The air surrounding us was hot and thick, weighing us down. Holding us in this moment. Using the pad of his thumb, he stroked my cheek, pressing his forehead to mine.

  “I can’t stay away from you,” he said, voice low and deep. My core hummed in recognition of this voice, the deep and husky one that made my pulse accelerate and my insides overheat. “I try so hard to fight it, but it’s clear now.” He held my face tighter. “It’s so fucking clear now, Chloe. Avoiding you is damn near impossible.”

  “So… what do we do?” My voice was faint.

  He looked me over, and in that moment, it seemed he thought of every possible thing that could go wrong—every disaster that could happen. But when it came down to the wire, he had the same thought in mind as I did. “We hope this is just a phase and try to get over each other.”

  “Just this summer?”

  His eyes became soft. “Just one summer.” After he said that, his head moved down, and his mouth found the lips he’d been dying to get a taste of. This time, I didn’t fight him. I didn’t ward him off or push away. I fell deep into Theo’s black sea because it’d been so long since I felt this. It was
n’t scary, and it wasn’t sticky or dark. I… liked it. The dark, clashing waves he created within me, the feeling of floating, drifting—so far gone while with him.

  I’d wanted this to happen for years now. Theo Black in front of me, on top of me, taking me. Making me his. Owning me like he did the very first night we attempted this crazy, fucked-up relationship.

  In no time, we became antsy. Hands all over, bodies grinding, hearts pounding. His hands became greedy, tearing at my shorts and then yanking my tank top over my head. I tore at his shorts, and when his cock sprung free, I gripped it, grinning behind our kiss.

  His groan was ferocious, body in need of more. Hungrily, he kissed me while my legs snaked around his hips, and he sank into me. A sharp gasp brushed by parted lips, my mind no longer crowded but focused on this solitary moment. His strokes were slow and rigid, our breathing heavy. Our foreheads were touching, my arms laced around his neck, and our lips only a breadth away.

  His face turned as hard as stone as he watched me, as if it’d been years since he wanted this and now that he had it, he couldn’t fuck it up. He wanted to take it slow, but I could tell he wanted to fuck me until I couldn’t take anymore.

  “Talk to me, baby,” he breathed in my ear. “Tell me how long you’ve waited for this.”

  “Too long,” I breathed, tugging him closer.

  “You didn’t come home…” He stroked faster, panting deep. “You avoided me for three years, Little Knight. Such a bad girl, making me suffer like that.”

  “I… I didn’t know how to face you—what to say.”

  Reaching up, he gripped my face and forced my eyes on his. “You face me like this,” he growled, nostrils flaring. “With my dick deep inside you and your eyes right on mine. Like this, Chloe,” he grunted, slamming into me. “Like you’ve always wanted.”

  My chin dropped, and a loud moan shot to the treetops. This time, he didn’t bother covering my mouth. He wanted to hear me, and he didn’t give a fuck who else could.

  Theo released my face, his palms going to the thick trunk of the tree. He took me mercilessly, grunting and growling, his body going stiff as my teeth sank into his bottom lip. Cupping my ass, he walked away from the tree and lowered my back to the grass, stroking harder, faster, drilling so hard a clapping noise echoed through the small forest.

  “You feel so fucking good, baby. Still so fucking wet for me.” His brown eyes roamed my body. I started to writhe, gripping the arms that were planted on either side of my head, watching as only his hips moved up and down, side to side. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, and I clenched repeatedly, soaking the length of his massive cock.

  He didn’t stop.

  In fact, he picked up his pace, his name a forbidden exclamation spilling from my lips. He conjured a yelp so shrill it made birds scatter. He scanned the area, and when he saw our surroundings were clear, he craned his head, bringing his mouth down.

  Holding one side of my face with one hand, he used the other to grip my thigh, stroking repeatedly in the same, deep, relentless stroke, until he let out a heavy groan and came, eyes sealing, body jolting.

  “Oh fuck, Chloe.” His voice was full of disbelief, as if he didn’t expect to cum so hard and so soon. He stilled in his position above, falling from his high, head dropping, and eyes landing on me.

  He panted.

  We panted, staring into one another’s eyes. Leaning forward, his lips brushed my cheek before moving over to my mouth. “Your pussy is perfect, you know that?” His upper lip curved, and the top row of his pearly whites was revealed.

  “Stop it,” I murmured, fighting a smile. He moved aside, allowing me to sit up. He watched me for a few seconds, and then he leaned forward, lifting a hand to pluck something out of my hair.

  “I like this park and all, but we can’t keep making shit happen here.” He laughed, flicking the piece of grass away.

  I giggled. “It just… happens, I guess.”

  “I guess… but you deserve better. A room. A nice place.” His gaze softened. “With me.”

  The longer he looked at me, the more my smile happened to collapse. Every bad thought flashed in my brain like hazard lights, along with one of the very reasons I was upset with him to begin with. “Last night,” I said, voice breathy. “I saw you.”

  His head tilted. “Saw me what?”

  I dropped my head plucking a piece of grass.

  “With Trixie?” he answered for me.

  “That’s her name?” I tried not to laugh but couldn’t help the smile.

  “Sounds stripper-ish, right?” he chuckled.

  “Uh, yeah!”

  “She only stopped by to pick up her clothes. Nothing happened. I promise.”

  “How do I know you’re not lying? She is your girl toy, after all.”

  “We aren’t really going to make things happen anymore…”

  My brows narrowed. “Why not?”

  “She’s moving to Las Vegas. I already don’t trust her here. I damn sure wouldn’t trust her there.”

  “Oh my god,” I laughed, “Is she a stripper?”

  “Nah… but she works at Dane’s. It’s pretty much the same thing.”

  “That’s where you met her?”

  He stood up and tugged his shorts up to his waist, then he went for my shirt and shorts on the ground. After helping me up and handing my clothes to me, he said, “Yep. Kind of just… happened.”

  “Hmm. Like we did?”

  He scoffed. “Definitely nothing like that.”

  “Do you love her?” I avoided his eyes after asking the question, afraid of his response. I focused on adjusting my panties and putting on my shorts, staring at the ground, but he tilted my chin, head shaking as our eyes met.

  “I don’t love her, Chloe. She was just someone that… distracted me when you left and helped me forget about certain things.” He paused, dragging his eyes down my five-foot-seven frame and then bringing them back up to mine again. “But now that you’re back, well”—he shrugged—“I guess I realized she isn’t exactly the type of woman I want running around in my life.”

  “No? So what kind of woman are you looking for?”

  He moved forward, a boyish smile on display. Stroking my cheek, he quietly answered me. “I want a woman with brains, but also one that knows how to have fun. A woman with dreams. Goals. A woman that knows what she wants, even though she knows it may be bad for her. A woman that doesn’t mind taking risks in order to be happy.”

  I inhaled a wisp of air, looking away. All those things I could relate to, but there were plenty of other women out there that could also relate—women that had no sort of relationship with his only child.

  “Hmm.”

  When I was all dressed, he hooked an arm across my shoulders and led the way back to the trail. “What are you doing tonight?” he asked.

  “I’m not sure. Why?” I looked up, meeting the brown irises that were already on me.

  “Come with me to my boat.”

  “Your boat?” My eyes expanded, brows rising. “I didn’t even know you had a boat!”

  “Bought it a few months ago. It’s not huge or anything, just something to get me from point A to point B. It’s where I was going to take you after Dane’s.” He stopped walking, turning me in his direction, the palms of his hands curling around my upper arms. “Forgive me for not sending you a location the other night,” he begged, eyes full of remorse. “I was just… really fucked in the head. I don’t know what was going on with me. I had this small chat with Marcel, and it sort of fucked with me.”

  “Oh.” I paused. “I have one question…”

  He pulled away, looking at me oddly, almost like he already knew the question I was going to ask. “What’s that?”

  I fiddled with my fingers, focusing on the ground. “Do you really think this will last all summer?”

  Relief washed over him, and he drew in a thick amount of breath, nodding. “Let’s make the deal right now. All summer, no thoughts of th
e past. No thoughts of our lives or who it may be that ties us.” His face changed when he said his last sentence. He hated owning up to the betrayal as well. The thought of his baby girl finding out about us would kill her and possibly damage their bond. Our bond. “Let’s promise to pretend that we’re two strangers. Like we’ve never met before and are only looking for a good time. You could use it. I could use it.”

  “But… what if more comes out of this?”

  His face changed, his attitude no longer carefree. “We agree now that nothing more comes out of this.” His face was stern, eyes like steel. Gripping my shoulders, he said, “Promise me, Chloe. We can’t take this farther than it is right now… okay?”

  I swallowed hard. “Okay.” My voice was defeated. He noticed.

  “Fuck…”

  “What?” I asked as he roughly raked his fingers through his hair.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t do this… I shouldn’t do that to you—make you think this is just me wanting to get my dick wet.” He pulled me into him, watching me with a gentle stare. “I don’t want you thinking I don’t care about you. I care about you a lot. You’re a good girl, and you know me just as well as I know you. It’s just—well, if we still want to be in each other’s lives, as well as Izzy’s, we have to settle on some terms and keep some things out of the way.”

  “Like love?” I whispered.

  His throat worked hard to swallow the lump that’d been lodged deep inside. “Love… will get in the way. To protect ourselves—to protect Izzy—let’s settle on this. Trust me, we’ll still have a good time. We’ll make this one of the best summers of our lives. And when it’s all over, we’ll still be at an understanding.” He dropped his head to catch my eyes. When he did, he asked, “Is that okay with you? We don’t have to. I understand you not wanting to. The risk involved—I just need to know if this risk is one you will take with me. If I’m worth it to you. I’m sick of pretending I don’t want you.”

  I struggled with a smile, unsure, but as he looked at me, so child-like, his face handsome, eyes full of want, need, and the same hunger I’d clung to for years, I knew I couldn’t say no, no matter what feelings came out of this arrangement.