How wrong he had been.
Mrs. Spira bent near a large potted plant, checking its soil. She glanced over her shoulder. “Has Paul mentioned yet that he grew up in an orphanage?”
Unsure if he was supposed to sit or stand, Carter chose to stand. “He hasn’t.”
She rose and dusted her hands on her green slacks. “He was the thirteenth child in the family and by the time he was born his parents already had too many mouths to feed. People did that in those days.” She moved to the other side of the couch to check another plant. In fact, now that Carter was paying more attention he realized the room was bursting with potted plants and a few small trees. “I think that’s why he’s so fond of Red Dog Ranch and stops by there so often. Y’all are doing the Lord’s work there.”
Carter crossed his arms. “I just keep the horses running.”
She looked back at him and smiled. “I’m sure you do so much more than you’ll ever know.”
Carter swallowed hard. Shannon had said something similar the other day.
“From what Paul has shared, my upbringing was very similar to yours,” Mrs. Spira said. “I hope you don’t mind that he’s told me. We pray together each day and you have been on our hearts.”
“I—ah.” Carter coughed a little. The image of the elderly couple praying for him caused a wave of emotions to crash over him. “I don’t mind at all.”
She pursed her lips as she picked up a watering can that had been tucked near the end table. “Back in my day women weren’t valued how they should be. You understand when I say my parents weren’t kind people. They ended up forcing me to marry a man who would advance their lifestyle without much concern for how he would treat me. I almost died by that man’s hand, Carter.”
Carter sank into a stiff chair. “I’m so sorry.”
She nodded and poured some water into a potted tree. “Paul had loved me since we first met. He waited for me. He prayed for me. And when my first husband abandoned me, Paul was there, ready to marry me. Marrying a divorced woman was frowned upon back then, but Paul didn’t care. And despite the lives both of us were handed, we’ve done pretty well for ourselves.” She motioned toward the wall of photographs. “You’re a smart man, so I’m sure you know I’m not speaking of his practice or this house.”
“It’s amazing to hear what you both overcame.”
“We’ve led happy, full and good lives because we chose to live that way.” She set down her watering can to cup a leaf on the tree she stood near. “Look how well this tree is growing. Would you believe I grew this from a cut branch?” She ran her fingers over the sapling. “If you couldn’t tell, I’m a bit of a gardener.”
Carter chuckled and looked around the room. “I noticed as much.”
“You can cut a branch off certain varieties of trees and plant it. With the right patience and care that little branch can grow its own roots and become a mighty tree.” She shook a finger at him. “Many gardeners will tell you that a branch-grown tree will flourish better than one grown from a seed. These are some of my first attempts and they’re doing well. It’s all about finding a good branch.” She walked away from the tree and stopped in front of Carter. “Something tells me you’re the right kind of branch, Carter.” She clucked her tongue.
Shannon popped her head into the room. “Dr. Spira says food is ready.”
“Come and get it while it’s delicious,” the doctor called from the kitchen.
Mrs. Spira glanced at Shannon’s retreating form and then grinned at Carter. “God can use you to start a new family tree, one that’s beautiful and strong without the seeds your parents left you. Do me a favor and promise you’ll give what I’ve said some thought.”
He put his hand over his heart. “I will, I promise.”
Thoughts of trees followed him into the kitchen, and for the first time in many years he enjoyed a meal around the table with people who felt like a family he would have loved to be a part of.
* * *
A few hours later, as Carter and Shannon headed down the front stairs of the Spiras’ house, Carter offered Shannon his arm. It had rained while they were eating dinner, and sometimes treated wood could be slippery.
Or so he told himself.
The welcome smell of damp earth surrounded them. Carter sucked in a deep breath. Rain always reminded him of new beginnings—the mess of the old washed clean. Growing up in the North, he had always heard that Texas was very hot and dry. Now that he was living in the part of the state called the Hill Country, he knew that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Everything was lush and green here and it rained plenty.
The Spiras had outdone themselves with dinner. Carter was stuffed with the slow-smoked beef brisket, sesame slaw, tortilla soup and pecan pie the older couple had made. They were quite the team, and watching them interact had caused his chest to ache for the new family tree Mrs. Spira had talked to him about. Long ago, Carter had convinced himself that the best thing for him would be to be alone, to not start a family. With the examples he had, what did he know about being a good husband or father? But the Spiras hadn’t had role models, either, yet they had raised a large, loving family.
At Red Dog Ranch he had a clean slate and what he did with that was up to him. He had never believed that he was worthy of a future like the one Mrs. Spira had painted for him, but tonight he found himself wondering if maybe worth had nothing to do with it. Perhaps his energy would be better spent on hope than worry.
While Carter had enjoyed the Spiras’ company and the meal, he had noticed that Shannon had been more reserved than usual. In fact, she had been pretty quiet in the car and when they were passing out flyers.
Clouds wisped across the sky as the sun began to set, leaving a trail of pink-and-orange light. At the bottom of the stairs Carter stopped. He had to say something—even just to start a casual conversation. Shannon keeping to herself didn’t sit well with him.
“I don’t know if I’ve eaten that much at once in my whole life.”
Shannon rested a hand on her stomach. “Me, too. When the Spiras keep spooning food onto your plate, it’s hard to say no.”
“What do you say we go for a walk before heading back home?” He laid his hands on his own stomach for effect. “I could stand to burn off some of those calories.”
Shannon’s lips twitched. “Hardly.”
The downtown area of Stillwater wasn’t large but there was a small park on the far end with a bricked sidewalk, flowers and plenty of benches. He led her in that direction.
Just like she’d done the other night, Shannon kept hold of his arm as they headed down the sidewalk. She nodded at a few passing people and waved across the street to a large family.
Carter chuckled. “You know just about everyone in this area, don’t you?”
She sighed. “One of the hazards of living in the same place your whole life.”
“If you asked me a month ago, I would have said that was a bad thing,” Carter said.
She bumped her hip into his. “You’re warming up to Texas more than you thought you would, aren’t you?”
The smile on her face was the first real one he had seen all day—seeing it made him breathe a little easier. Or maybe it was just that being around her instantly put him at ease, regardless of what the circumstances were. Whenever he spotted her, the same thought hit him: Shannon was stunning. No matter what she was doing or how she was dressed or what her expression was, she had quickly become the most beautiful person he had ever been around.
She was still staring at him when he realized a few minutes had passed on their walk and he hadn’t responded. Was he warming up to Texas? “Ah, you could say I’m warming up to lots of things. Must be the Texas effect.” He winked. Why had he said something like that? And winked. He wasn’t usually a winking sort of man. But being around this amazing woman was messing with his head in ways he had ne
ver experienced.
Carter steered her down a meandering path in the park. “You’ve been quieter than usual today.” Trying to figure out if he had said or done something to upset her, Carter thought back to the night they had stayed up taking care of Tater Tot and the couple of times they had seen each other since.
“Just a lot on my mind, you know?”
“I don’t know, but if you want me, I’m here and listening.” He motioned toward a bench and she nodded, taking a seat.
She slumped against the back of the bench. “For starters, I joined a group for survivors of domestic abuse. My first meeting is tomorrow.”
He wanted to celebrate her news but she seemed so down. “I’m really proud of you for doing that.” He kept his voice calm. “Are you nervous about it?”
She shrugged. “I know it’s a step I need to take. And I want to take it. It’s just a change, you know? Putting it all out there. But that’s not what has me in a funk. It’s other things like what if this horse show is a big failure? Or we set the place on fire by accident? Or... I don’t know... Insert something horrible.”
Hoping to offer her a semblance of comfort, Carter set his hand carefully between her shoulder blades. “For now, let’s focus on the things we can control instead of a bunch of hypothetical situations.” He felt her take a deep breath under his hand. He kept talking. “Every single business we stopped in let us hang our signs and a handful of them already committed as vendors. Those are both check marks in our win column today.”
“And Violet Byrd returned my call.” Shannon swung her head toward him. “She’s willing to attend the event, be a judge for the costume contest and run the barrels. She said she’s getting ready for the summer circuit and could use the exposure ahead of time anyway. She’s even bringing her horse.”
Carter assumed Violet was the championship barrel racer Shannon had mentioned the other day. “That’s great news, and by my count, that brings us to three big wins today. So what has you so worried?”
She scuffed her shoe along a crack in the sidewalk. “What if I begged Rhett to let me do this and no one shows up and I end up looking like an idiot?”
“Shannon, look at me,” he said gently. She angled her head in his direction but didn’t meet his eyes. Slowly, Carter touched the soft skin of her neck and lifted her chin. She shivered when he made contact and in a moment of vulnerability he almost lost himself and kissed her. But that wouldn’t have been right. He was trying to encourage her as a friend and wasn’t about to muddle something as important as her understanding how wonderful and strong he thought she was. Besides, he wanted the best for her and that wouldn’t ever be him.
Carter’s voice was soft. “Whatever happens, none of the people who matter will ever think you’re an idiot for being brave and trying something new. How could they, Shannon? You’re strong and you care about people and you’ve been hurt but still put your heart into everything you do. Anyone who knows you is already proud of you. I sure am.”
“Carter,” she whispered, her eyes searching his. “How do you do that? How do you say the exact thing I need to hear? It’s as if you have this direct line to my heart.” She tapped his chest.
He dropped his hand into his lap. “I’m just stating facts.”
She eyed him and bit her lip as if she wanted to argue.
He cleared his throat. “Was there anything else on your mind?” A part of him hoped she told him that he was on her mind, but deep down he knew that wasn’t a conversation that could ever happen. His long-term plan didn’t include Red Dog Ranch. Nothing could happen between them, no matter how much he enjoyed her company. “Not that I’m saying that wasn’t enough to worry about.” He scrubbed his hand down his face. “What I meant was you’ve been quiet all day and I just want to make sure you’re okay before we head back.”
Shannon gripped the edge of the bench on either side of her and looked at the horizon. Then she tipped her head up and blinked rapidly.
Was she... She was crying.
Carter’s mind spun. “Whatever I said, I’m sorry.”
Her lips formed a grim line as if she was holding everything in and she shook her head.
“It’s not that.” Her voice wobbled. “You said everything right. You always do. It’s just, my brothers are thinking of moving my mom to a memory-care facility and I don’t want them to take her away.” She turned her watery gaze toward him and it twisted his insides to see her hurting. “But I don’t want to be selfish and keep her here if that’s not what’s best for her, either.”
Carter hadn’t met Mrs. Jarrett yet, so he didn’t know how she was doing medically. All he knew was that Shannon was hurting and he wanted to be there for her.
“I lost my home and my dad. I’ve lost a lot of my independence, most of my confidence and my feeling of safety, and now I feel like I’m losing my mom, too.” A mournful sob escaped her lips, the sound tearing at Carter’s heart. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around her. She pushed her head against his chest as her arms went around his back, fingers digging into his shoulders. Then she cried long and hard as he held her.
“I’m so tired of everything getting taken from me,” she said against his neck. “Every single time I think I have this little piece of hope to hold on to, it’s gone just as quickly. And I know I’m being silly. I know my mom needs more devoted care. But it hurts, Carter. It hurts to let go.”
He tucked her hair behind her ear and then cradled her head. He would hold her for as long as she needed him to, even if it made his heart ache for the things he could never have. All the encouragement from Mrs. Spira’s earlier words shriveled up inside him.
Because he couldn’t have Shannon in his life.
Not like he wanted her.
Not when he would end up being something else walking out on her someday. He refused to be another piece of stolen hope in her life.
Chapter Eight
“It’s the perfect day for this.” Shannon rolled up the sleeves of her button-down and then put her hands on her hips, surveying the work that needed to be done on the fencing. The sun was out, the ground was dry and the wind was minimal—ideal painting weather. She turned her face up to the sunshine, loving the warmth. Carter might grumble about the heat, but she couldn’t wait for summer to roll into Texas.
With only a week until the spring horse show, Shannon had decided that the corral where the event would be held could stand to be spruced up. She, Carter and Easton had spent chunks of time during the last week scraping the old flaking paint off the fencing, and now it was time to give the whole arena a fresh coat. Rhett, Wade and Piper had all joined in and were stationed on the other side of the large oval arena. They had already begun to paint. This half was for her, Easton and Carter to take care of.
The day after they had dinner at the Spiras’, Shannon had set up an online sign-up for the horse show and entries were steadily trickling in. Many people had used the comment section on their entry form to say they were excited Red Dog Ranch was doing something new. A few others had simply used the entry form to donate money directly to the building fund, writing in their comments that they weren’t going to compete but still wanted to offer their support.
Wing Crosby honked from his perch on top of one of the fence poles. He kept his eyes on Carter as the man lugged a few large cans of paint out of one of the ranch’s pickup trucks. Next, Carter hopped back onto the tailgate to fish for a bag of paintbrushes that had rolled deeper into the trunk.
With zero reservations, Shannon watched him. From the first time she had taken notice of him, she had known he was incredibly handsome—and in his Wranglers and a T-shirt that fitted him almost too well, Carter Kelly was near impossible to look away from.
But his looks weren’t the only reason Shannon couldn’t get him out of her mind. Carter was a good person and being around him made her feel as if she could accomplish anything.
She thought back to their walk in the park after their dinner at the Spiras’ a week ago. He had been able to tell that there was something bothering her and had cared enough to find out what it was. And once he knew, he hadn’t tried to fix all her problems or write off her worries. Instead, he had listened and been there. Having grown up with all brothers and then after dating Cord, Shannon was used to the men in her life rushing in to solve any perceived problems. For once, it was refreshing to find a man who, by his actions, showed that he believed she was capable. Carter assumed she could handle herself and if she couldn’t, then he trusted her to ask for help. She knew if she asked him for advice about anything he would give it, but he would never barrel in and tell her what she should or shouldn’t do unless she wanted him to.
Nearby a plastic bag rattled. Shannon swung her attention to Easton right in time for him to hand her a paintbrush.
Carter latched the tailgate back up. Then he walked to the fence line and scooped Wing Crosby into one of his arms. “I’m going to go lock him in the barn so he doesn’t get into mischief while we’re painting.” Wing laid his head on Carter’s shoulder, nuzzling his neck a little as he talked.
Easton chuckled and shook his head. “That dumb bird is like your baby.”
Carter wrapped his other arm around Wing’s body, holding him more securely. “This gander has the brainpower of a peanut. I’m convinced he’d get himself killed every day if one of us weren’t watching out for him.”
Shannon stepped forward and ran her fingers over Wing’s head. “Aww, come on, Carter. We all know you’re fond of him. And it’s clear that Wing loves you, so don’t fight it.”
After Carter answered their teases with a long-suffering roll of his eyes, he trudged back to the barn with the goose tucked against him. While he stowed Wing Crosby safely away, Shannon and Easton pried open two cans of paint.
“I’ll head down that way.” Easton waved his arm, indicating the bend on one of the arena’s edges.
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