by Diana Scott
“John was a piece of shit...” Marc babbles nervously.
“Ugh, and I thought you were his best friend. You're not very polite if you talk like that about a dead colleague," he says sarcastically.
“It's the only death I don't regret.”
He didn't know, until a long time after John's death, about the mistreatments that son of a bitch had given to his wife. He gets up and tries to wipe his hands on his trousers, which were now stained with blood too.
“I promise you, if I don't have to, I won't touch her. I will get the information without getting violent. Now let's get out of here before they find us.”
Watchmaker opens the door of the office, checks that the road is clear and goes towards the exit. There awaits their car and the path to the greatest of their achievements: Cleopatra's Jewels. Paradise existed and it was waiting for him.
When the jewels were sold, he would step away from the evil and would live a life of pleasure. Beaches with crystalline waters, ladies wishing for his company, and lots of champagne to water a throat that’s dried from enjoying so much. Yes, it was the life that awaited him. For a moment, Watchmaker felt sorry for all the deaths but in every business there were risks and collateral damages that had to be assumed. The worst of all had been John's. He was a faithful companion but the greed blinded him, so he had no choice but to kill him. On the other hand, Marc was very different, he would kill him if he could but for the moment he was worth more alive than dead. He would get rid of him at the first change but, for the moment, he needed him to infiltrate on Falconi's gang.
I Need You
My head splits in two like a ripe melon. I haven't been able to sleep all night. I shake the cushions and open the blinds trying to get the morning sun to help me find some meaning in my life. I'm not able to put my thoughts in order yet. How could this happen? Rage and pain accumulate in me looking for a route of escape, an answer that tells me some hateful why. Is it that nobody is capable of understanding me? I couldn't? I couldn't stay. I know his words aren’t true. I am sorry. He still loves me, I don't know how much, but I know it's like that, so why is he still determined to keep me away? Tears exhaust me and I can't stop thinking: and now what?
I want to be by his side, I need to help him, to feel that he can count on me but how to do it when he accuses me of abandoning him. I only looked for a solution, a route to escape, an alternative to find myself. I needed that time for myself. Is it so hard to understand?! He has to understand, I'll make him understand, he'll forgive me and we'll start all over again.
I walk to the kitchen and look for coffee and aspirin. In all night long, I haven't been able to sleep more than ten minutes in a row. My house is exactly the same as before I left for Italy. The plants are perfect and the furniture without a speck of dust, it is clear that Jane has been present. It smells of her in every detail, fresh flowers in the vase, perfumed sheets on the bed and a cup of coffee next to the coffee pot, yes, Jane was waiting for my return. How much I want to see her again, six months have been many months.
I approach to the window to feel the warmth of the morning sun but I wasn't so lucky because since yesterday it has been raining and the darkness covers the city. Perfect, another grey day for a grey woman.
“Can I come in?” A sweet Jane appears behind the door.
“Of course!”
I run to the door like a little girl and my sister is barely able to hold her balance as I bumped into her.
“I love you too, but you don't have to hang me," she says in a funny tone.
“You don't know how much I missed you.”
“And I miss you, but don't cry. Anne, are you all right?”
“I'm fine, I'm fine. Can I make you some coffee?” I say letting her go to dry my face with the palm of my hand.
“One with milk but first explain to me why you're crying.”
“The roses are beautiful”, I manage to say with tears.
“I know that perfectly well, I bought them myself.”
“I'll get you the coffee.”
“I try to dry my tears with the fist of my pajamas but Jane holds me by the elbow and turns me around, interrogating me with her gaze.
“I thought this trip would be for your good.”
“And it was...”
“So, what happened? Anne, you'd better answer me because I'm starting to get nervous.”
“Reed...” I say in tears while hugging her looking for her warmth.
“Dear God, Anne. Not him again, it's not possible.”
Her arms wrap around me and I let her heat protect me. Jane caresses my hair with her fingers as I accept her comfort like it was a cool oasis for a thirsty man.
There are so many feelings that possess me that not even my poor reason is capable of understanding. I have tried to think, I have kicked the table looking for an explanation but now in my sister's arms I’m only able to cry asking myself again and again: how can I get his forgiveness?
“Anne, you can't let him hurt you again. Six months ago you left shattered looking for a new opportunity and in just two days he has done it again. You're broken and crying for someone who doesn't deserve you. Blackman chose that woman and you didn't...”
“Jane, you don't understand.”
“Don't interrupt me, you know I'm telling the truth," she says with an angry mother's voice. "I don't give a damn whether you want to hear me or not. This time I'm not going to stop. Someone has to open your eyes. That man is not good for you.
“Jane...”
“He doesn't deserve you. He'll have his traumas, I don't deny it, but you can't let him do this to you," she replied, nervously walking around the room.
“Jane!”
“No! I'm your sister and if you're like that for him I swear I'll end up hating him. I wasn't by your side when everything happened with John, and I regret it a thousand time but it won't happen again. Nobody will hurt you without me killing him first. We have no parents and you are the only family I have left, and I will protect you above all else.
“Jane...”
My voice softens as I approach her side looking into her eyes. We both have our eyes clouded by tears but for different reasons.
“Reed can't walk,” my voice is barely audible.
Jane is petrified in the middle of the room while I lie on the wide sofa wrapping my legs in my own arms. It isn’t cold in the house but my body trembles like a leaf beaten by a terrible storm.
“What exactly do you mean? I don't understand. What happened?”
“I don't know much. Suraj reach out for me in Italy and at first I was afraid for you or for Aunt Elsa. We arrived at the hospital and I was only able to run looking for you,” I dry my tears; I don't want to cry anymore. “I was scared, I was very scared.”
Jane sits next to me and caresses my hand offering me strength to continue my story.
“When I was inside the hospital, I hit a huge glass door and that's when I realized it wasn't you. I saw him while an attendant struggled with his inert body to make him hold on to thick metal railings. I could hear his screams of rage behind the glass, he didn't want to get up. Jane, he asked to be allowed to die.
“It can't be...”
“I behaved like a coward... Again...” I say almost without thinking.
“What are you talking about?”
At that moment I felt as if the sky was collapsing on me. The body didn't answer me, I was petrified.
“How did Reed react to seeing you?”
“He didn't see me. He was taken away in a wheelchair while I, like an idiot, was paralyzed behind the door. It seems that when I chicken out my legs don’t respond or run without stopping. Self-esteem looks at her legs and scolds them.
“You can't blame yourself. It was a normal reaction.”
“I couldn't Jane, I swear I couldn't. What was I supposed to tell him? When I regained my courage, I tried to see him but it was useless. Reed has refused to see me, he made my name appear on the blacklist of visitors,” I confess e
mbarrassed.
“I can't believe it.”
“I was desperate, I think it wasn't the best time but what else could I do. I had to do it”
“What are you talking about?”
“Last night I went to the Intensive Care Unit to see him.”
“But didn't you say he was conscious? Has it gotten worse? I don't understand anything,” Jane looks at me perplexed.
“Reed isn't the one in Intensive Care, Olivia is.”
“What are you talking about? The same Olivia he married?”
“They were both in a car accident. Olivia is in a vegetative state. The doctors don't give her much hope.”
“Oh God, I can't believe it,” Jane covers her mouth with her incredulous hand in the face of all the news.
“That's not all,” I hide my gaze behind the cup of coffee to avoid looking into her eyes. For some reason I feel ashamed of myself.
“Is there more?”
“She is pregnant and the baby is in danger.”
“Pregnant? And the father is...? I mean, when you left she didn't...”
“It’s his son,” I affirm.
“Mother of beautiful love, what a movie.”
Jane squeezes her lips with her hand trying to digest so much information and I lay my tired back on the sofa.
“But if she's pregnant it means that this baby is another baby. I mean... I mean...”
“If you're asking if she got pregnant after the wedding, the answer is yes.”
Jane bites her upper lip until she was no longer able to hold on.
“Fucking bastard, didn't you say you wouldn't touch her? I'm sorry I shouldn't...”
My sister is silent, prefers not to make any judgment and I thank her; I have no strength to listen to recriminations other than my own.
“And do you know how it happened?” Jane speaks breaking the long silence between us and I am petrified at her question.
“How happened what? The pregnancy?” I ask astonished.
“No idiot, I mean the accident”
“I don't know much. Suraj only explained generalities about the car.”
“A car accident... Do you know exactly what day it happened?”
“I think last Monday. Why do you ask?”
“A week. Now I understand why he didn't go to the appointment.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Jane shakes her head as if she were waking from a dream.
“Nothing important. Are you going to the hospital to get information?”
“I already did.”
“And...? Say something for God's sake! I'm about to lose it”.
Jane moves nervously and I don't know what words to explain to her that I was rejected like a dog loaded with fleas.
“He doesn't want to see me again. Simple words for complex feelings.”
“Now what does he blame you for?”
“For leaving him.”
“You have to forget about him! That man is not good for you, he doesn't deserve you. You can't live like this.” Jane is exploding.
“You may be right, but my moment of choice is long past. I love him too much to look for a path without him.”
“You intend to insist...”
“Until the forces accompany me. Time has helped me to understand that I love him more than I ever loved anyone else. I have to try. I cannot give up. He needs me as much as I need him.”
“Then you'll go back to the hospital.”
“Yes, when I went home last night, I called Suraj and he asked me to wait for him for breakfast today. With his entrance pass, I can probably sneak in and see him without his permission.”
“But it's almost 10 o'clock in the morning!”
“Eh?” I look at the clock on the wall while I'm sitting in a doubtful seat. It seems that way.
“He must be coming soon," she says, hurrying to pick up her purse.
“Yes, but you can stay. I have nothing to hide, not even you.”
“Hide, why should I hide anything!”
“I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about me. Jane, are you all right?”
“Oh, yes, of course. I'll go so you can talk quietly. I'll call you later.”
“As you wish.”
“She opens the door in such a hurry that the poor woman fully collides with Suraj's hard torso. He looks at her with the face of few friends.
“I was just leaving.”
“I see that.”
Jane steps away as if he was burning her and speaks frightened:
“I'd better leave you to talk quietly. Anne, I'll call you later.”
“Thank you,” I answer while watching them.
Jane tries to disappear down the corridor when she is stopped by the strong grip of the detective.
“See you later.”
“I don't know if I can”.
“It's not a question. Five o'clock. You are available.”
The elevator doors close and Jane leaves without answering.
“Can I ask what just happened?”
“You can't,” Suraj comes in and shuts the door while looking into the empty elevator shaft.
“A cup of tea, or are you going to spend the whole morning staring at the corridor?”
“Coffee,” he replies annoyed.
“Of course, what a temper. Come in and close the door.
Did all men have gone mad or I'm losing my mind? Self-esteem puts electrodes on her head checking her sanity.
Hidden Truths
“It looks like it’s never going to stop,” Suraj speaks as he sips his steaming coffee and watches the raindrops fall through the window - I hate to see the sky so black first thing in the morning....
“I'm waiting,” my nerves are dominating me. “I need to know something else.”
“If I knew where to start, believe me, I would do it," he says, sitting on the couch, stretching his long legs.
“People say starting from the beginning is usually the best strategy.”
“Funny," he replied with a false smile.
“What happened? Reed is an excellent driver, I don't understand how he could have lost control,” grief covers my words. There are so many questions in my head but I don't have the ability to pronounce them, it's like the brain and tongue weren’t working together.
“We were very close to catching him. We had the references of place and time, everything was prepared. In the afternoon it would be Falconi's ambush.”
“Falconi?”
“Yes, you'll understand when I finish," he says, drinking another sip of coffee and staring at nothing in particular.
I accept the answer while I mentally scold myself for having interrupted him. I must calm down and wait.
“Everything was in order but you know Reed, he wanted to have all the ends tied up. He's been after that guy for too long to leave anything to chance, and he decided to take Olivia out of town so she wouldn't be in danger.”
I clench my fists to the point of hurting myself with my own nails. I know perfectly well that they got married and that she is even waiting for her son but I find it very hard to hear from her best friend's voice how he tried to protect her. Six months without me was enough to behave like a perfect husband, worried about his wife. Jealousy corrodes me like iron acid. I feel arcades just imagining them together.
I am the worst of all women or at least that's how I feel. Olivia is dying and I shouldn't think like that but, yes, I can't stop imagining them together and in love. It's a vision that haunts me and corrodes me inside, killing me with jealousy and envy.
“Anne, it's not what you imagine... Olivia is a good girl, a little bit capricious and kind of crazy but she has nothing to do with her father's shit. She dealt with a lot and Reed couldn't leave her alone to her fate. If Falconi's people discovered us, Olivia would be hidden enough not to carry unpleasant consequences,” he answers a little annoyed while he rests the coffee cup on the bedside table. “Reed would take her out of town that very
morning, everything was scheduled, no one else besides me knew about it, there was no danger. Nothing could go wrong,” he tells me scratching his frown that’s more and more furrowed.
“But it wasn't like that.”
“No, Falconi's people somehow managed to discover them. They followed them until they were cornered on the A 907. Reed did everything he could but he lost control and they fell off the cliff.”
“Both of them...”
“Yes, Olivia was by his side.”
“God, God...”
I squeeze my temple so it doesn't explode. Can anyone be so cruel not to care about a human life?
“Is Falconi behind bars?”
“No, lack of proof, you know...”
“Lack of proof! But he almost killed them.”
“Olivia is practically death, she stays alive thanks to the respirator. The doctors say that she is brain dead but her vital signs are still working thanks to the machine.”
I cover my mouth with my hand retaining my own arcades. I used to hate her with all my strength but today grief and remorse gnaw me inside. Hate, jealousy, sorrow, confusion, everything hit me in my overwhelmed heart. What I should and shouldn't feel mixes and stabs, fighting inside me.
“The doctors will try to get the respirator to keep her alive for at least two more months so they can do a cesarean.”
“Then he is five months old. They expect me to turn seven so I have a better chance of survival," I quickly deduce. I've been doing the math every night.
Tears try to appear but I dry them at the very moment they arise from my eyes. I'm not going to cry anymore and specially not in front of his friend. He said he loved me but got Olivia pregnant as soon as I left. I hate him and I love him with the same intensity that only a woman is able to feel.
“Anne, you can't go crazy about the baby, I need your help, that's why I went to look for you in Italy.”
I shake my head without the ability to answer with words. I feel a stab in the chest but I will keep listening without collapsing. I've been looking for answers and here they are, no matter how much they hurt.
“Reed is alive and Falconi will not give up until he is dead, specially now that he blames him for his daughter's death.”
“Why don't they just arrest him? You will find some proof...” I say without strength.
