G-Men: The Series

by ANDREA SMITH

  I turned my attention back to Eli who was swimming towards me now, dipping beneath the surface of the water where he grabbed an ankle and pitched me up in the air, causing me to fly a few feet and go under. When I sputtered to the surface, all signs of Lacee and E.J. were gone. I felt a bit deflated.

  I finally managed to escape Eli’s attention in the pool and climbed out, going back over to my towel on the chaise. He followed a few minutes later, shaking his wet blond locks on me as he passed my chair with a laugh.

  “You’re a brat,” I said, drying myself off again.

  “Are you mad?” he asked, seriously thinking that I just might be.

  “Well, you can make it up to me if you bring me a frozen strawberry daiquiri, how’s that?”

  His replying grin was fully-watted. “You’ve got it, babe,” he said, grabbing his wallet from beneath his towel and heading over to the Tiki bar. I settled back down in my chair, relaxing and letting the sun soothe my raw nerves. Why did this whole thing with E.J. bug me more than the deal with Darin? It was like I wasn’t even thinking about Darin any longer; not so with E.J. though.

  Eli and I enjoyed a couple of daiquiris over the next hour. I was feeling fairly relaxed when my cell phone rang. It was Mom.

  “Hi Darcy. Daddy and I will be at the resort in about an hour and a half. We’re staying in Unit 12B in the Coconut Grove Condo complex. It’s just east of the villas. Do you want us to come to your place, or do you want to come to ours?”

  “I’ll come to your condo, Mom,” I replied quickly. “I’m at the pool right now, but I’m heading back to shower and get changed.”

  “Okay, darling. Why don’t you stop by the condo around dinnertime and we’ll go together?”

  “Sounds great, Mom. See you then.”

  I turned to Eli who was reading a magazine. “Got to go. Meeting the parents and I gotta’ get ready. It was good meeting you. It’s been…interesting.” I shot him my famous smile.

  “Do you have plans for dinner?” he asked.

  “I’m having dinner with my parents,” I deadpanned.

  “Oh sure, right.” He quickly put on his shirt, and grabbed his shades that were lying idle on the small table between us.

  Ah, fuck.

  “I mean, if you’d like to join us, I’m sure they’d have no problem with that—”

  Except he thinks my name is Nicole…

  “I’d love to, if you’re sure it’s okay with you.”

  “Sure,” I shrugged like it was no biggie that I was kind of inviting a guy I’d just met. But the hell with it. This was my vacay and he seemed like a pretty chill guy. Maybe a little lonely…and I knew what that was like.

  We exchanged cell numbers and I promised to call him once I was ready so that he could pick me up at my villa and we would head to their condo together.

  Once I got back to my villa, I showered, shaved, and gave myself a facial. I went through my closet, selecting a newly purchased Stella McCartney designed cocktail dress. It was a clingy, silhouette-enhancing two-tone dress. The major portion of the dress was Fern-green; the side inserts at the waist to the top of the hips were black mesh.

  It was sexy, yet conservative enough not to upset my parents. Yeah, the ones that used to wear tie-dyed shirts with peace signs, love beads and bell-bottom jeans that were frayed because they dragged on the ground—those parents. I put on a pair of new Prada open-toed strapped heels, and a clutch shoulder bag to match. I left my hair down, taking pains to straighten it flat; humidity was not my friend. I was ready to call Eli, but I wanted to check in with Mom first. I needed to clue her in on what was happening. She answered her cell phone sounding kind of flustered.

  “Mom? It’s me. Did you guys get in okay?”

  “Yes, we’ve been here for over an hour now.”

  “Is something wrong? You sound kind of frazzled. Does the condo suck?”

  “Oh no, it’s not that. As a matter of fact, it’s breathtakingly beautiful with a great view and a lovely outside terrace that’s to die for. It’s just that it’s a double and the people in the “A” unit are kind of noisy. The walls must be kind of thin, I guess.”

  “Noisy? Do they have kids or something?”

  “No, no—they’re noisy and seem to be on some sort of a sex marathon, as far as I can tell.”

  I had to giggle at the way she described it. “Well, Mom, maybe they’re honeymooners or something.”

  “God—I’d hate to think so with the language and tone they’re using! They sound like two people that hate each other, but decided to fornicate all afternoon for the hell of it.”

  At this I burst out laughing. Yeah, my mom didn’t usually talk that way. As in: at all. And it was kind of hilarious as hell hearing her use the word ‘fornicate.’ “Mom, why don’t you call the office and see if the property manager can request they hold it down?”

  “I tried that,” she replied with a sigh. “It seems that this particular condo is owned by the guy currently inhabiting Unit A. In fact, he owns all four of them on this beach. The property manager was not inclined to make that call. In fact, he said the owner specifically wanted the unit free of guests while he was using it this week, but apparently a clerk made a mistake in letting us rent it, so I was told I should be grateful and I was advised to keep a low profile.”

  “Well,” I said, trying my best to console her so that we could change the subject, “we’ll be out for dinner soon, so maybe they’ll get it out of their systems.”

  “We can only hope,” she replied. “Are you ready to come down? Your daddy found a seafood restaurant down the main road that he’d like to try. We made reservations and since we have a rental car, no sense in not putting it to use.”

  “Sounds good to me. There’s one thing, though. I met a really, really nice guy at the pool this afternoon. His name’s Eli and I invited him to come along with us for dinner. Is that okay?”

  I could feel her smile over the phone. “Well, of course, darling. He’s more than welcome to join us this evening. I’m glad you’re getting back out there and not sitting around crying over Darin.”

  “Great! There’s just one more thing, Mom; can you and Daddy refer to me as ‘Nicole’ instead of Darcy?”

  Silence from her end.

  “Darcy Nicole, what are you up to?”

  “Nothing Mom—it’s just that, since I’ve been here, I’ve been introducing myself as Nicole instead of Darcy.”

  “Why would you do that?” I could almost feel her churning over thoughts in her head about how her daughter was probably having personal identity issues.

  “I don’t know. Maybe I just wish I was a ‘Nicole’ instead of a ‘Darcy.’ The name Nicole sounds so much more together, you know?” She was so going to speed-dial her shrink after she got off the phone, probably wanting to make an appointment for me as soon as this trip was over.

  “I’m not going to be a part of any game you’re playing so, to answer your question, no. And I think I can speak for your father as well on this. Your first name is Darcy and that’s what we call you and will continue to call you, understood?”

  I rolled my eyes. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, I thought.

  “Sure, Mom. I’ll explain it to Eli before we get there.”

  “That’s my girl,” she said. “Deception almost never works out, remember that, okay? It’s always better to speak the truth than have your deception come back to haunt you.”

  “I know, Mom. You’re right of course. Eli and I’ll see you and Daddy soon.”

  “Not soon enough for me,” she replied, her tone now totally exasperated. “They’re at it again next door. Hurry up and get here so we can get the hell out. You’re daddy doesn’t seem to mind all the racket, but I sure do. He probably has plans for me tonight after hearing all that dirty talk next door for the past couple of hours. My God, the language…” I could practically feel her cringing.

  “Okay, Mom,” I repli
ed, smiling.

  chapter 3

  I called Eli and he was at my villa shortly after, looking fantastic, I might add, in a summer sport jacket and cotton trousers. His blond locks were gelled, and slightly spiked, which was a good look for him.

  “You look great,” I said, motioning for him to come in and take a seat. “I need to explain something to you before we meet my parents.”

  “You look fabulous, Nicole,” he said, studying me from head to toe. “Stella McCartney?”

  “It is—but listen, you need to call me ‘Darcy’ not ‘Nicole.’ Just for tonight, okay?” I saw him quirk a brow. I needed to explain this to him.

  “You see, my name’s Darcy Nicole Sheridan. I’ve been—well…going by my middle name since I’ve been here at the resort for…personal reasons. My parents will be calling me Darcy and I just thought you should know.”

  “It’s fine. I get it,” he responded, shaking his head slightly.

  “You do?” I asked, frowning in confusion.

  “Sure. Hey, whatever makes you comfortable is fine with me. I don’t question the way people handle things in their personal lives and I certainly don’t judge.”

  Judge what? Wait a sec…

  “Eli, how did you know this was a Stella McCartney design?”

  He shrugged. “I was in Milan for her fall show,” he replied nonchalantly, as if he’d just told me he was at a Bronco’s game or the U.S. Masters Tournament. He watched my puzzled expression with amusement.

  “Oh, somebody’s ‘gay-dar’ seems to be on the fritz, I see.”

  “Eli,” I said, the shock apparent in my tone, “you don’t look gay. I mean, it never crossed my mind…”

  “Ah hah, I see some stereotypes at play here, beautiful,” he teased. “And may I add that you don’t look butch either?”

  Rewind. What?

  “What?”

  “You know, ‘butch;’ the stereotypical description for a lesbian?”

  “Holy hell—you think I’m a lesbian?”

  Now he was now the one flustered…getting up from the couch, and running a hand through his thick mass of blond hair. “I guess my gay-dar’s on the fritz as well.”

  I burst into laughter as I saw how totally clueless we both had been. Eli joined me and we continued to laugh until tears were rolling.

  “Okay, okay,” I said, still giggling. “I want to know why the hell you thought I was a lesbo.”

  Eli rubbed his eyes and tried to compose himself enough to explain. “I was watching you from outside the pool area before I even came in,” he said, starting to chuckle again. “I mean damn, girl, the way you were checking out that blonde across the pool from you left no doubt in my mind. Since I didn’t see any interesting males around, I thought it might be nice to hang out with one of my own.” He dissolved into laughter once again.

  I gave him a hand gesture that was definitely not mom-approved. “One of your own, huh?” I playfully tossed a few couch pillows at him.

  “Sorry, sorry,” he laughed, shielding himself from the barrage of pillows. “But hey—we can still hang out, yeah?”

  I loved the idea of having a gay male BFF.

  Let’s be honest here, folks. It’s every girl’s dream to have a gay guy bestie, right? I mean, I’m a huge fan of “Sex in the City.” Carrie Bradshaw had Stanford Blatch; Charlotte York had Anthony Marantino and I definitely wanted a Stanford Blatch or an Anthony Marantino of my own!

  “I don’t know,” I said in a teasing voice. “Are you sure you won’t mind hanging out with a straight female?”

  “Mind? Of course I don’t mind. Every gay guy wants a gorgeous, straight, female to drink daiquiris with him poolside. It’s the American dream. You’re like the ultimate hot-guy bait. Don’t you know anything, girl?”

  “Well, now that we’ve settled that, let’s go meet my folks.”

  “Showtime!” Eli said, taking my hand as we left to walk down the beach to their condo.

  Dinner with Mom and Daddy went well. They both seemed to like Eli a lot. Daddy and Eli talked sports (yes, gay guys enjoy football like anyone else). It was nice having Eli with us because Mom didn’t bring up Darin’s name at all. I was grateful for that. I knew she presumed Eli was a romantic interest for me, which was fine. I didn’t feel any explanation was necessary.

  After dinner, they invited us back to their condo to play euchre. Mom poured a glass of wine for all of us, and it was adding to the buzz I’d gotten at dinner. I wasn’t used to wine. I was never sure how it would hit me. I realized it was affecting my ability to play euchre when Daddy sighed for the third or fourth time at my throws. He was so damn competitive at everything.

  “Let’s change partners, Denise,” he suggested. “You take Darcy; Eli’s mine.” For some reason, that struck my funny bone and I started giggling uncontrollably. I felt Eli kick my brand new pair of Prada’s from underneath the table.

  “Darcy, are you alright?” Mom asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

  “Squueeekhehe,” I giggled, nodding my head up and down affirmatively.

  “No more wine for her, Denise,” Daddy replied, taking a serious tone. I changed places with Eli and we started the next game. We were just a few rounds into it when a loud, banging noise against the wall started. It was rhythmic, getting louder and faster and then the moaning started.

  “Oh dear God, Martin, they’re at it again,” my mother hissed, throwing her playing cards down on the table. I looked over at Eli and saw a slow grin appear. The female was moaning loudly and as she continued on, her tone got shriller.

  “I swear that broad’s going to break glass one of these times,” my father said with a laugh, shaking his head.

  “Martin!” my mother scolded. “We have guests.”

  “Then they’ll hear for themselves in about twenty seconds.” We all strained now to listen and sweet Jesus, my father was right! That bitch’s moans reached a high soprano pitch that rivaled anything Renee Fleming could’ve belted out.

  “Are you sure there’s even a man in there with her?” I asked, giggling. “All you can hear is her screeching and moaning.”

  “Oh yes,” Daddy answered; “Trust me, he has his moments too.”

  “I mean, the vulgarity they scream,” my mother commented again. “Disgusting.”

  Everything had pretty much quieted down next door for the time being. I wasn’t in the mood to continue playing cards.

  “I’m really sorry you had to hear all of that, Eli,” my mother said, patting his shoulder.

  Ahh…Geez. She probably thinks it gave him ideas.

  “I’m tired of cards, Eli. Let’s go out on the terrace. I could use some salt air to sober up a bit,” I said with a sigh.

  “Great idea, darling,” my mom replied, starting to clear the table. “You two enjoy the ocean view. It’s spectacular.”

  I found my shoes under the table where I’d kicked them off and slid back into them. Eli held my chair out for me like a perfect gentleman. He was scoring so many points with my parents. I could tell by the looks of approval that passed between them all evening. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud at the thought.

  Eli opened the French doors leading out onto the large terrace, and I walked out onto the wooden floor. We could hear the waves splashing against the break wall on the beach. The stars were out, casting their reflection against the ocean. It was magnificent.

  “Mmm,” I sighed, leaning against the rail as we both looked out over the water. “I love the beach, the ocean, the sand—all of it. I so envy you. You get to work here all year round.”

  “I haven’t got the job yet, and I have no applicable experience. It’s kind of a long shot.”

  “Yeah, but I mean they wouldn’t have flown you here unless you had a good chance of being hired, right?”

  “Wrong. I paid my own way. Nothing’s guaranteed.”

  “What will you do if you aren’t selected then?�
�

  “I’m not sure. I don’t have a Plan B yet.”

  “You could always move to D.C., you know? I’m sure my father could use you in his business. That’s where I’m going to work after graduation.”

  “What kind of business is it?”

  “He owns a consulting firm for international marketing and communication. He founded it more than twenty-five years ago. It’s called “Sheridan and Associates.” I’m going to be one of the associates soon. My father promised me a position before he retires. He eventually wants me to run the whole show there.”

  Eli let out an impressed whistle. “That must be nice…to have a career waiting for you. I don’t know, we’ll see,” he shrugged. “I have my heart set on staying here, you know? I studied International Culture and can speak Spanish fluently. I’m not sure those skill sets would fit your father’s business.”

  “What do you mean? You’re bi-lingual and he does international marketing, for Christ’s sake! Of course you’d be a great fit. I mean, it’s something to consider as a Plan B, right?”

  “Sure, sweetie. Hey, do you wanna do something for New Year’s Eve?”

  “Hell yeah. I have the perfect outfit.”

  “Somehow, I knew that,” he chuckled, giving me a hug. It was in that brief moment of silence we both heard a male voice clear his throat from the next-door terrace. I leaned over the rail just a bit to have a look.

  Oh. My. God.

  I felt my heart race as E.J.’s eyes looked over into mine and a slow, sardonic grin graced his handsome face. I realized that he’d been out there the whole time, eavesdropping on our conversation. Holy shit! I backed up quickly so the wall between the two terraces obscured his view of me.

  “What?” Eli mouthed to me, looking confused. I didn’t answer him, just shook my head, putting my index finger up to stay quiet. A moment later, I heard the terrace door from next-door open and a female voice.

  “Are you coming in to bed?”