Accepting His Name

by Tressie Lockwood

  Shakarri stumbled through light conversation with Ezio’s mom, not having a clue what the woman said. Then she and Ezio left for dinner. She stayed so close to his side walking from the car into the restaurant, one might have thought they were glued together. Inside her head, she scolded herself to stop showing her fear, but she needed a little more time.

  Ezio let her dig her nails into his arm and didn’t make a sound. When they were almost to the door, she glanced behind them to find the bodyguard trailing them. Ezio had admitted the man was indeed his bodyguard.

  “Tomorrow I’m going to interview some men whose names I received from a friend. I’ll choose your bodyguard from among them if they turn out to be good enough.”

  She frowned. “I want to be there.”

  “There’s no need. I’ll handle it.”

  She tugged free from his arm and faced him. “If he’s going to guard me, I’m going to be involved in choosing him.”

  “Shakarri, you do not need to argue with me over everything. You have no experience in this matter. Trust me to handle hiring your bodyguard.”

  “Like you handle everything else that has to do with me?”

  “When necessary.”

  “Always,” she grumbled. “You talk about trust, but you act like I’m too stupid to make simple decisions. I don’t appreciate it.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing.”

  “It’s the way it comes across to me!”

  He snapped his teeth together and reached for the door to open it and lead her inside. Shakarri might have gotten the last word, but she doubted she had won. Ezio would keep doing things his way.

  Ezio escorted her to the table, splaying his hand over her lower back. Chills raced up and down her spine at his touch, and goose bumps broke out on her arms. The more she spent time with Ezio the more aware she was of him. She wanted to get away and yet right then all she could think about was getting to know him better.

  “Ezio,” she said when she held her glass of wine, “tell me a little about you. Your ex lives in Colorado, doesn’t she? When does Catarina come to visit?”

  Shakarri had met his daughter at the wedding, and afterward she had flown back home with her mom. They had spent no more than a few hours in each other’s presence, but she seemed like a sweet little girl.

  Warmth touched Ezio’s expression for an instant before it disappeared. So he loved his daughter. That was good to know. He was human.

  “She’ll be here next week and stay through Christmas.”

  Shakarri blinked. “When were you going to tell me?”

  He looked surprised. “Her nanny will come. There’s no need to let it affect you.”

  “Let it affect me? I’m sure you’ll let her being here ‘affect’ you. At least I hope so. Tell me you’ll spend time with her and not leave her the entire time with the nanny.”

  “Of course not. I have a trip planned. We will go out on my boat before the weather changes. You will of join us as well as a couple other friends.”

  A vein must have just snapped in her head. “I would appreciate it if you would give me a heads up on all this stuff.”

  He sighed. “Shakarri, it is your responsibility to be at my side when I entertain.”

  “I didn’t know your daughter was considered a guest!” She plunked her glass down and held up both hands in dismissal. “You know what? Forget it. I don’t have the energy tonight.”

  Ezio reached across the table and took one of her hands in his. Shakarri didn’t fight him.

  “Catarina and I get along very well. We always have, and her mother doesn’t like it. Perhaps she’s jealous. I always make time for Catarina no matter what I have scheduled. I didn’t tell you of my plans because I didn’t see the need. No, before you get upset, I mean you said you like the water during our first conversation.”

  His words surprised her. “I told you I love to swim. You remembered that?”

  “I did.”

  She tried not to be impressed because Ezio was detail-oriented in business. He would remember the little things not because he cared but because they gave him an advantage.

  “I intended to arrange everything and then bring you and Catarina on the trip. I assumed it would be something you would enjoy. Was I wrong?”

  She pursed her lips. “I bet you don’t think so.”

  “I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.”

  “Never mind.” Shakarri decided he was right. She would enjoy a boat ride, especially since she had never been on one. “Thanks. It will be fun.”

  He nodded and took her hand in his. When he raised her fingers to his lips, Shakarri stilled. She schooled her features and held herself rigid so he wouldn’t discover how she melted at his touch.

  Ezio turned her palm over and kissed the center. She tried to pull out of his grasp, but he held on. In slow deliberate movements his fingers grazed her skin. He moved halfway up her arm and gently massaged the sensitive area in the crook of her arm. She caught his hand to stop him.

  “Are you very hungry?” he said in a deep tone. “We could cut this short and go home.”

  One of his hands landed on her thigh, and she tried to get away. He gave her leg a quick squeeze and moved her around again so that their thighs touched. If she tried to escape, something told her Ezio would put a stop to it. If she let it be known that she was nervous or embarrassed, that was asking for trouble.

  “Ezio,” she said. “Did you marry Catarina’s mom for love, or was it an arrangement as well?”

  “There was a prenup.”

  “I know, but I mean, did you love her?” Shakarri didn’t know why she was asking. It didn’t matter. Their marriage wasn’t about love, so nothing else made any difference.

  “At one time I cared for her.”

  His words were so flat, as he hesitated to admit any feelings at all. She couldn’t be sure if he didn’t want her to know he was weak enough to fall in love or if he just didn’t want to tell her his personal business. She was his wife, for good or bad, and she liked to believe someone, if not her, could get beyond his harsh exterior. To think there was nothing beyond it was too much to accept.

  Maybe if she offered up an experience from her past, he might unbend enough to share. “I was almost married once.”

  He focused on the menu. “Yes.”

  She frowned. “Yes? What do you mean yes? You don’t know.”

  Blue eyes met hers. “Would it make you feel better to think I don’t?”

  “You’re just trying to make me think you know everything about me. I’m onto that trick. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

  He shrugged and went back to the menu. Now she second-guessed herself. Did he or didn’t he know? He’d done a background check on her, but did his people go that far? Was there a written record somewhere that told of how she’d loved her ex-boyfriend enough to say yes when he asked her to marry him and then broke his heart when she faced the fact that he was almost as irresponsible as her dad?

  Had she married him, she would have been miserable. He had no business sense and often lived paycheck to paycheck. He didn’t know what he’d done with all his money. The habit drove her insane, and she woke up to the truth just before their big day to realize love wouldn’t sustain a relationship with that kind of person.

  Then I turned around and married another problem child.

  Shakarri almost laughed out loud at her thoughts. Being called a “problem child” probably wouldn’t sit too well with Ezio. Especially since he was worlds away from being a kid. His hard thigh brushed hers, and she had to be extra vigilant not to climb onto his lap and enjoy herself.

  A waiter stopped by, and Shakarri prepared to tell him what she wanted. Ezio spoke over her and ordered for the two of them. She gaped at him. “I didn’t ask for chicken. I wanted the beef. Don’t order for me.”

  The waiter’s face reddened, and Ezio’s countenance darkened. He took the menu from her hand and put it together with his to hand to the waiter. “
That will be all,” he barked, and the frightened man ran off.

  Shakarri glared at her husband. “I don’t appreciate you taking my choice away from me. You don’t know what I want.”

  “I’ve ordered for you before.”

  “Yeah, when I was in the ladies room or when that one woman stopped me to talk at that one restaurant. I appreciated it because I was starving. That doesn’t mean I want you doing it every time! Call him back, or I can do it and decide for myself.”

  He didn’t move or look away from her. “It’s more efficient if I order.”

  “You’re not serious.” Her voice rose a little in her anger.

  A nerve twitched in his jaw. “Lower your voice, Shakarri. I won’t have my wife yelling at me in a public place, anywhere for that matter. We can have a discussion as two adults.”

  “A discussion? This isn’t a discussion.” She was tempted to huff like a child she was so pissed off. “What do you want me to do, sit here like a submissive little ornament and let you handle everything?”

  His eyes narrowed. “Exactly.”

  “Go to hell.”

  This time he reddened, and he snapped his fingers in the air. The crackle of sound might as well be thunder it punctuated his mood so succinctly. Several heads turned their way, including the waiter’s. He rushed over, and Shakarri experienced a surge of triumph before Ezio spoke.

  “We’ve changed our mind.” He stood and pulled money from his wallet. “This should cover the bill.”

  Her mouth fell open. “We’re leaving?”

  Ezio didn’t say a word. He grasped her arm and propelled her toward the door. Shakarri broke free and faced him. He gestured as if to say she’d better go or be left behind.

  “You’re the one behaving like a child,” she snapped. He still didn’t respond, and she had no choice but to walk out the door with him or be left at the restaurant with no way to get home.

  Furious, she rode alongside of him back to the mansion. As soon as they drew up the long drive, Shakarri spotted two vehicles that didn’t belong to the immediate family. The front door opened and a little girl who was the spitting image of her blonde-haired mom came bounding out of the house.

  “Papà,” she shouted and threw herself into Ezio’s arms as soon as he climbed out of the car. Ezio hoisted his daughter into his arms and kissed her cheeks.

  “You are very early,” he said.

  Shakarri rolled her eyes. Even his daughter wasn’t allowed to mess up his order. A woman strode from the house, long and slender, moving with sensual grace. This wasn’t Catarina’s mother or nanny. That was for sure.

  The woman, outfitted in a stark white dress that scarcely covered her junk, also threw herself at Ezio and said something in broken Italian. Shakarri didn’t know more than a handful of Italian words, but she had heard it enough over the last few weeks to know this woman’s vocabulary wasn’t as broad as the native speakers, and she butchered the pronunciation.

  “Caro mio,” she simpered, clinging to Ezio’s arm. “I’m back at last. Did you miss me? I swear the Spaniards are just awful. I almost forgot how to speak Italian. We can practice together now that I’m back.”

  Shakarri checked the time on her cell phone. Nearly nine o’clock was too late for this person to be showing up at the mansion for a visit. Besides that, a blind woman could see she had designs on Ezio. Shakarri felt jealousy rising up but attributed it to the fact that Ezio had laid down the law with her saying he’d rip a man to pieces who touched her. Didn’t the same go for him?

  He greeted the woman as was common in his culture, kissing both her cheeks, but she lingered, tilting her head back as if she expected him to kiss her lips. Shakarri blinked in disbelief. Ezio drew away from the woman and shifted his daughter to the side where the woman clung, forcing her to release him.

  Shakarri wasn’t impressed by the move. Her stomach growled, and she decided to forget them all. She’d go inside and get something to eat even if she had to cook it herself. Trying not to flounce or stomp because that would give him too much satisfaction, she entered the house and left the three of them on the doorstep.

  Once she reached the kitchen, she found the light off and flicked it on. Ezio must have informed Clara earlier that they would be out to dinner. Everything was cleaned up and put away. The back of the house lay in silence, while Miss Thing giggled too loudly toward the front. Catarina’s high-pitched voice echoed off the walls. Shakarri grabbed a package of lunchmeat from the fridge and slammed it on the island counter.

  “Ah, I see you’ve met Madison.”

  She jumped at Cason’s voice and tried to school her features. The question slipped out before she could stop it. “Who is she?”

  He moved up next to her and leaned an elbow on the counter while stealing a slice of salami. “His lover.”

  Chapter 6

  “W-what?” Shakarri kicked herself for the hoarse quality to her voice. She straightened her shoulders and focused on making her sandwich of salami, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and mayonnaise. “Never mind. I don’t care to know.”

  Cason moaned. “That looks so good.” He flashed puppy dog eyes at her. “If I tell you all about Madison will you make me one?”

  “I don’t care about Madison, and didn’t Clara cook?”

  “She did, but something tells me a sandwich made by the bellissimo Sha will be even better. Clara, although a wonderful cook and a wonderful woman, doesn’t make my heart beat faster.”

  She laughed. “When did you start calling me Sha? And your heart beating faster after you eat sounds like a medical condition.”

  He snorted. “You always make me laugh. Your blunt speech is intriguing.”

  “Uh-huh.” She deliberately bit into her sandwich and then felt sorry for him. Knowing the Sartori men’s appetites, she piled his sandwich high with meat and cheese. Cason hurried to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of sliced pickles. She cringed when he threw on a few of those as well. “You’ve ruined the sandwich. Now it can’t be called one of mine.”

  He devoured half the sandwich in one bite. “I will fantasize that it is.”

  “Suit yourself.” Shakarri carried her plate over to the table and slipped her feet out of her shoes. She rested her feet on the chair next to her, and Cason dropped into the spot across the table.

  “Madison has been my brother’s lover since he first came to the United States. We thought they would get married, but it never happened. I suppose if Madison had her way it would.”

  Shakarri lost her appetite and shoved her saucer away. “You’re saying he was still seeing her when he was married to Catalina’s mom?”

  He shrugged. “It would seem so.”

  “And…” Shut up! Don’t even ask. “And now?”

  “Unless he sends her home, then I assume it will continue. Business kept her out of the country for a while, but she’s back. She arrived here an hour ago and decided to wait for him.” Cason reached for her hand and held it. “You’re American, bella. Don’t let it bother you. An affair means nothing.”

  “So I’m supposed to look the other way and let him do whatever he wants? I know our marriage isn’t…” She figured Ezio’s brothers knew the truth about why she married him, but she hated saying it out loud. “In your culture, the women can have affairs too, right, without it destroying the marriage?”

  He grinned big. “Shall I make you an offer, Sha?”

  “Not unless you want me to embarrass you.”

  He burst out laughing and laid a hand over his heart. “You’re so cruel, and yet it makes me love you more.”

  “Cason, you don’t have any shame. I know you’re not serious, and I guess Ezio knows it too, so he doesn’t say anything. I doubt that you give two rips about me.”

  “Not true. You are my family now. Family is everything.”

  “I’m going to bed.” She stood and gathered her plate and his. After rinsing them and cleaning everything up, she left the kitchen. Cason didn’t
follow her. Shakarri took the back stairs in order to avoid her husband. She wondered as she headed to the second floor if what Cason told her was true.

  One part of her wanted to find a lover just to get even with Ezio. After all if he could cheat, so could she. Then she thought better of it. Sleeping around wasn’t her deal. Intimacy with a man was more than just physical pleasure. There was a connection that formed, a bond, and making it with any and everybody wasn’t just disgusting, it was detrimental to her soul.

  “I’ve got some serious views for someone who married a man for his money,” she grumbled beneath her breath.

  In her bedroom, she showered and changed into a nightgown. The one she chose was Ezio’s least favorite, but the color soothed her from the first time she saw it. Ezio had too many opinions anyway. Her wearing the nightgown had nothing to do with trying to tick him off.

  Not like he’ll come to bed tonight.

  The little bit of sandwich she’d eaten sat like a stone in her belly. She hated the negative emotions he’d made her feel, and if he thought he was carrying on his affair right under their roof, he would hear from her!

  The door opened, and a frisky little figure scurried in. “Shakarri!”

  “Hey, sweetie, how are you?” Shakarri fell back on the bed when the fireball hit her full force. Catarina had two speeds—stop and go. She left a sloppy kiss on Shakarri’s cheek and then jumped to her feet and bounced on the bed. Her nanny must have gotten her into a bath and changed her into pink princess pajamas.

  Catarina sang something in Spanish, and the jumping bean bounced higher. “Can you speak Spanish, Shakarri?”

  “Not much. I know gratzi.”

  Catarina giggled. “That’s Italian.”

  “I mean por favor.”

  Catarina dropped to the bed and curled into a ball laughing at Shakarri. When she pulled herself together, she faced Shakarri to school her. “That’s please. I can speak English and Italian, and now Spanish. Wanna hear?”