Accepting His Name

by Tressie Lockwood

  “I know.” She searched for words to explain her position that wouldn’t tick him off further.

  “I have been careful to be sure you’re not overdoing it just in case. No undo stress, and you repay me by making a fool of me with these.”

  “That’s not what I was doing, and you know it!”

  His eyebrows rose. “I know it? Io non vi conosco affatto!”

  “What does that mean?”

  He ignored her and began pacing, spewing more Italian. She’d never seen him so angry. He walked back into her closet, and she wrapped a sheet around her to follow. She reached the doorway in time to see what he had been doing in her drawers in the first place. He withdrew a tiny gift-wrapped box. Ezio had been hiding a present for her to surprise her. Shame washed over her.

  He ripped the wrapping to shreds and crushed the box in his hand. Without a word to her, he shouldered past and marched toward the door. She ran after him. “Where are you going, Ezio?”

  The door opened and slammed behind him as he left. Shakarri sank down on the floor in front of the mess that was her pills. She wondered what she should do now and what Ezio planned to do. Would he want a divorce? Would he sue her? If he did, he wouldn’t get anything. She didn’t have a red cent to her name except what he had given her in the last three months.

  She stirred from the floor. Maybe she should go to the bank and withdraw everything. She would pack her bags first in case he sent a guard to escort her out the door. There was nothing more humiliating than to be tossed out on to the street without a stitch of clothing on.

  When she gathered clothes to wear and walked into the bathroom, she discovered tears running down her face. She stared in surprise and sniffed. Her chest hurt, and she knew the truth of what she had been feeling the last couple of weeks. In that time, she had come to care about Ezio. Whether it was love wasn’t clear yet, but she had told herself it didn’t matter. A lifetime with Ezio wasn’t likely, so it would be better for her to get away. She had stuck to the plan, and now she had nothing. What’s more it hurt far more than she imagined it would to lose him.

  Shakarri walked downstairs to a silent house. She thought everyone had left, but when she entered the dining room, all of the family were there. None of Ezio’s guests had made an appearance. Poor Cat looked miserable, and Ezio’s mom muttered to herself in Italian.

  Shakarri took her seat and accepted whatever Clara sat before her. She didn’t pay attention to the food but rather shifted it about on her plate.

  Cason leaned toward her and whispered. “So what did you do?”

  She blinked at him. “Huh?”

  He smirked as if she was putting on an innocent act. “You and my brother went to bed like two lovebirds last night.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t see you.”

  “But I saw you.” He waved aside her protest. “You were obviously going to make love, no?”

  She didn’t deign to confirm or deny.

  “But he came down this morning and took off every head in sight.” Her brother-in-law pointed to his neck. “If you look closely you can see the scarring.”

  “Ha, funny, Cason. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Ezio has woken up on the wrong side of the bed before. Sometimes he gets stressed from work…” She let her voice trail off because the excuse sounded lame.

  “My brother is always calmer once he’s been with you.”

  His words took her by surprise, but she didn’t give them any weight. Her marriage was obviously over. So this was how people got divorced in less than six months. She had always thought it was insane and impossible. Come to think of it rich people did it all the time. Maybe most of them married for convenience and not love.

  A lump formed in her throat, and she ducked her head, concentrating on her plate. When she could manage to speak, she questioned Cason. “So where is he and his guests.”

  He shrugged. “He commanded them all to leave, and he went with them. I’m guessing they’re having the meeting at a hotel instead. Ezio’s made arrangements for conference rooms on short notice before. The hotel staff always accommodates him.”

  “And why didn’t you go?”

  He pointed to his neck again. “He can kill Romy. I like my head where it is. So, what did you do, sorellina?”

  She felt sick. “I lied to him.”

  He clicked with his tongue in the roof of his mouth and shook his head. “Bad. If there is one thing Ezio hates more than any other it’s lying.”

  “I know that now.”

  He took her hand and kissed the backs of her fingers. His blue eyes so like his brother’s twinkled. “Not to worry. You can be mine.”

  She tugged out of his grasp. “You were just calling me little sister, and now you’re trying to get with me?”

  “You are still my sorellina.” He winked. “For now. If my brother is foolish enough to give you up, we can be lovers.”

  As if I’d take another Sartori. Not in this lifetime.

  She pushed her chair back and stood. “I’m not very hungry. I think I’m going to take care of a few things in my room.”

  Before anyone could question her, Shakarri fled. She hurried upstairs and searched her room for her suitcase. Ezio had taken her on a short trip for their honeymoon because he was so busy. It wasn’t directly after they were married but not too long later. He had arranged for new luggage to fill with her new wardrobe. She wouldn’t take all the clothes, but she would make use of the two biggest bags.

  Someone knocked on the door, and she froze. “Who is it?”

  “Mamma Sha, let’s play,” Cat called through the door.

  Shakarri groaned. “Just a minute, sweetie.”

  She shoved the suitcases out of sight and hurried to the door, blocking Cat from entering her room when the little girl tried to squeeze by. Shakarri bent and scooped Cat into her arms while she knelt in the doorway.

  “I’m sorry, baby, but I have something important to take care of. It’s going to take a little time.”

  Cat held up three fingers. “This many?”

  Shakarri laughed and gently pinched each of the little fingers. “No, not that many. Longer. I can’t say how long.”

  Maybe forever.

  “I want you to be a good girl. Why don’t you go in your room and play for a little while. You know what? When I get everything settled, I’ll buy you a present and send it to you. Would you like that?”

  Cat’s eyes grew teary, breaking Shakarri’s heart. “Why can’t you give it to me like this?” She demonstrated with her hands out, palms up, and Shakarri chuckled through her tears. She swiped them away quickly before Cat could notice.

  “We’ll see,” she said. Cat accepted that. Shakarri stood and walked Cat back to her room. Feeling sad about walking out on Cat, she stayed with her for a bit, and they played with dolls together. Afterward, Shakarri did their nails, and when Cat yawned nice and big and her little eyes began to droop, Shakarri nodded to Paxe. Three-year-olds still needed naps, which was a good thing for Shakarri. She could slip away.

  As she finished packing, her heart hurt. In a way, she was abandoning Cat just as it must seem her mother had. If Shakarri had a little girl, she would die before she let anyone take her. That’s why she was doing this, because she couldn’t risk having a child with Ezio. Not on the basis their relationship stood. She didn’t know how she could have gone for it in the first place. Desperate situations drove people to make foolish decisions, and she couldn’t deny it was what she had done.

  At the last minute, she decided one bag was all she could sneak out of the house. If she tried to go up and down the steps from her room to her car more than once, the odds went up of being discovered. Better to go for it once and get out of there.

  Feeling like a spy, she hugged the wall with a big clunky suitcase in one hand and clutching her purse on her shoulder with the other. She listened hard to see if anyone was nearby.

  She crept down the back stairs since it was safer. Cla
ra would be distracted with preparing lunch, and the maid and Goro would probably be somewhere else in the mansion straitening up. Her mother-in-law napped the same as Cat did, and Cason often left the house soon after breakfast. That left the bodyguard. She had no idea where he was since he didn’t cling as closely when she was at home.

  Shakarri reached her car out of breath with her heart hammering from nerves. She stuffed the suitcase in and dove behind the steering wheel. The garage door couldn’t open fast enough. She gripped the steering wheel, eyes wide as she watched the door to the house out her side mirror.

  She threw the car into drive to be ready. The door to the house opened, and panic set in. She slammed her foot down on the gas and shot out along the drive. Before she reached the main road, her cell phone on the opposite seat was already ringing. Her bodyguard’s name flashed on the screen.

  “Sorry, buddy, but I’m gone.” She mashed harder on the gas and almost put the car on two wheels turning the corner. Soon she was on the open road, but she took a route she hoped no one would think to follow her by.

  The mansion was miles behind her, and she didn’t know she had started crying again until she sniffed. “How in the world can I love him when he was so controlling? He doesn’t deserve my love!”

  She scrubbed an arm over her eyes to keep the road clear. Her cell phone rang again. This time it was Ezio, and she tensed. Her bodyguard had no doubt told him, and he was probably ticked off even more than he was that morning.

  So what! He’s just mad I left him before he could throw me out.

  Her foot eased off the gas, and she slowed to a crawl. Traffic wasn’t that heavy, but a few cars honked at her and pealed around her slow progress. She pulled to the shoulder of the road and stopped, forehead on the steering wheel.

  If Ezio was going to give up on them, wouldn’t he have told her to leave that morning? If he wasn’t, what was the alternative? That he’d try to force her off the pill? She thought about it. Was Ezio that extreme? The truth was she didn’t know. He had never once tried to manipulate her into marrying him or tried to fool her. He’d set his terms and sweetened the deal, but then he let her decide what she would do.

  Shakarri knew Ezio was so thorough as to know all about her before he ever approached her. While he knew so much, she knew nothing. She had demanded he prove his wealth, and boy had he. The whirlwind three-week courtship, if one wanted to call it that, was phenomenal, and she had said yes to his proposal. The problem was her feet hadn’t touched the ground the entire time. Now that they had, she was so scared, and she hated it. She felt like her life wasn’t her own to conduct. Developing feelings for Ezio made it worse, so she ran away from everything.

  “I can’t go back,” she told the empty car. “I won’t.”

  The phone rang again. This time she turned it off and started the car again. Since she wasn’t too far from home, she took a chance and withdrew money from the bank. Then she took a different route than the one she was on, choosing at random. For hours, she drove and drove. When the gas was low, she filled it up again and continued on.

  The sun dipped below the horizon as she pulled into the parking lot of a family styled restaurant. Old beach music blared overhead, but Shakarri tried her best to block it out. She ordered food and sat down alone to eat. At various tables, families laughed together. Their happiness made Shakarri feel even more isolated. How had she come to prefer taking her meals with the Sartoris in such a short period? Half the time, they spoke in Italian or spoke so rapidly she had no idea what they were talking about. Yet, they made the effort to include her in the conversation and tried to teach her various words.

  Get a grip, Sha. You’d think you were already preggo with all this emotion.

  She finished her food and dumped her tray then headed outside. In the time it had taken her to eat, the sky had opened up, and the rain poured. Shakarri sighed and raised a hand over her head as she ran for the car. Her mood plummeted as she started the car. She was soaking wet. Fate seemed to be out to get her, to punish her for lying to Ezio and leaving him.

  Exhaustion hit her on a long stretch of road. “Just a few more miles, and I’ll stop,” she mumbled, and her chin dipped to her chest. She smacked her cheek. “You are not falling asleep behind the wheel, ma’am, and getting yourself killed! Not with this rain and slippery streets, that’s for sure.”

  At last, she found a motel and stopped. Rain pounded the rooftop of her car, and the only open parking spot was far enough she would be soaked to the bone again by the time she reached shelter.

  “Gotta love consistent bad luck,” she grumbled.

  After a mad dash, she made it into the motel office, paid for a room, and stripped off the wet clothing when she got into it. Her suitcase was still in the trunk, but she didn’t care. Sleep was calling, and she would answer.

  When she was curled beneath the covers with a towel wrapped around her head, Shakarri pulled her phone out. She stared at it a long time. No, she wouldn’t turn it on. Tomorrow, she would phone Nay and let her know she was okay. That’s all.

  Sleep claimed Shakarri, and she drifted off.

  Chapter 10

  Shakarri looked up at the man, trying to make sense of his face. Her blurred vision wasn’t helping the matter, but neither was the fact that she couldn’t think straight. “W-who?” she murmured. Pain erupted in her head, and she felt like she would throw up. She tried to raise her hand to her head, but it refused to obey.

  “Don’t worry, my dear,” the man said with a creepy grin. “I’ll take good care of you.”

  He rested a hand on her shoulder, and she tried to knock it off. Well, she willed herself to knock it off, but again her body wouldn’t respond. What was wrong with her? Did he give her poison? Was this her fate if she left Ezio from now on—bad guys coming after her?”

  “D-don’t touch…” Her voice faded out although she hadn’t meant for it to.

  His grin broadened, and that’s when she noticed two teeth missing at the side. Sweat rolled down leathery skin, and a small whiff of his armpits made her stomach turn. She was glad the scent seemed to be muted, or she might throw up.

  “You called me,” he assured her.

  She tried to get her thinking straight but failed. “I…don’t…know…you.”

  He straightened and thumped his fists on narrow hips. She had the thought that if she was feeling like herself she could take him. He couldn’t weigh more than one thirty at the most. “Aw now, you’re going to hurt my feelings.” He burst out laughing. “I was minding my own business when you starting crying out. These walls are paper-thin. I saw you arrive alone, cute thing like you. I knew you needed my help, so I let myself in.”

  “You…picked…the lock.”

  He winked as if she’d just complimented him. “Don’t you worry. We’ll see about you after I have a look around, huh?”

  “No.” She tried to get up and managed a couple inches then fell back. The man found her phone on the bed beside her and powered it up. He started poking through it while scanning the room at the same time.

  “Where’s your stuff? In your car?”

  Shakarri didn’t answer. She needed to get up and get moving. This man was dangerous. If he didn’t find what he was looking for, he might kill her. In fact, he might do it anyway. It took all of her energy to roll to her side, and she panted, exhausted.

  “You poisoned me.”

  He chuckled. “Naw.”

  No explanation, just naw. She despised him. Shakarri made it to a half sitting position, but the covers slipped, and she fell onto the floor. Disgusting hands came under arms and hoisted her back to the bed. She flopped backward and gagged.

  “Now, now, my dear. Must stay put. I told you. We’ll have fun in a bit. Let me get your keys.”

  “No,” she squawked and dredged up the energy to grab her purse off the side table. She hugged it to her chest.

  “Don’t be stupid.” His sweaty face came into view over her. “You don’t want
me to have to tie you up, do you? I guess that could be fun too.”

  She swallowed. “You’re not serious.”

  He giggled. “I’m tempted. Real tempted. I’ve never found myself in this kind of situation. It’s like fate handed you to me. I’ll steal whatever’s not bolted down, but I mean a black woman right here. Do you know I’ve never touched one of you before? What do you feel like?”

  “A woman, you perv!”

  “Oh, there’s that anger you ladies have. I’ve always been kind of scared of it. You’re weak right now though. Can’t do anything. Give me the purse like a good little girl.”

  She tried to hold onto it, but her arms felt like jelly. In fact, after that scramble to grab the purse, she was back to feeling feeble.

  The man rifled through her purse and pulled out her wallet. He opened it and whooped with joy at finding her stash of money. Fear gripped Shakarri. That money was all she had unless she depended on the credit cards Ezio had given her. By now he must have canceled them all. She couldn’t even pay her motel bill if the man robbed her.

  “Please,” she begged. The pain in her head escalated, and her stomach did a somersault. She began to shake and try as she might, she couldn’t stop. Her vision blurred again, and darkness crowded in on all sides.

  The man’s movements flashed in and out of her line of sight. She thought she saw him pocket her money and throw the purse aside. Her head dipped, and she couldn’t gather the strength to open her eyes. She heard him through clogged ears like someone had put a fishbowl over her head.

  “Now that I got a little cash…” The springs creaked, and the bed dipped down on one side. The movement sent an explosion through Shakarri’s head. “…how much can I get away with… A little stroking…”