“How did that feel?”
“Huh? What? It was exhausting because it took all my concentration. To me, it’s a little bit like swimming in my human form.”
“You think too much as a human. You should put your human form aside and just follow your instinct. Your animal instinct is stronger than your human instinct. As a fish, you naturally know how to swim. Nobody can teach you that,” he told me.
“In case you haven’t noticed it yet, I’m not a fish. And by the way, I’ve only been a fox for a week. I still have to learn a lot.”
He raised one eyebrow. It was actually impressive how much I could see in this dark cave, even as a human.
“Do you have full control over your fox?”
“Uhm… Yes. I’ve only been stuck in a mix for one day. I was in between my two shapes then.”
“Don’t you swiftly transform into the other shape?” Jon asked, sounding surprised.
“No, that has never happened. Has it happened to you?”
“Yes, it has happened a lot. I needed to practice for three months until I mastered it. I’m still scared I’ll suddenly transform.”
“Hah! I’m also scared I’ll have hind legs after my transformation. I don’t have my fox’s eyes now, do I? I find I can see way too well,” I said, laughing.
He took that seriously and came to stand in front of me. He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face up, looking straight into my eyes. I could feel his warm breath on my face. I didn’t dare to breathe; he was standing too close. However, because of the dim light I was still unable to see the colour of his eyes.
“No, I don’t think so,” he said.
He released my face, and I turned away immediately.
“I didn’t mean that seriously. I was joking.”
“Oh…,” he reacted.
“It’s cold in here. I’ll never get dry and maybe I’ll even get sick,” I said.
This was true. My clothes stuck to my body, and I was freezing. But I also wanted to get out of this cave. I didn’t feel comfortable. I walked to the entrance of the cave and let myself drop down into the water. I swam to the other side and searched for a place to pull myself up.
“Tat?” Jon called me.
After I had found an excellent place and pulled myself a little bit up, I glanced over my shoulder. “Come on. Follow me. I know what I’m doing,” I shouted to him.
He hesitated for a second but finally, he jumped into the water and swam towards me. I searched for the next place to pull myself up and slowly climbed the wall. It took me longer than when climbing trees because I wasn’t totally used to do this. I needed to explore the wall with my hand each time I wanted to climb higher, to be sure I’d have a strong grip. Finally, I reached the edge and pulled myself over it in one simple movement. Looking down, I noticed Jon was only halfway. He was even slower than I had been. I gave him directions where he had to place his hands and feet so he could climb faster. When he reached the edge, I noticed he was stuck. That last part was tough. Even I had struggled there, so I realised it would be impossible for him. I reached out to him.
“When you’re sure you’re standing solid, grab my hand,” I said.
It didn’t take long until he grabbed my hand and I pulled him up over the edge.
“Thank you, Tat. I had never jumped in that river before because I didn’t know how to get back up. It was stupid to just jump into it. I wasn’t thinking. But luckily, you knew how to get back up,” he told me.
“It’s just like climbing trees. There isn’t much difference,” I responded with a shrug.
I ran towards a tree and started to climb. When I was halfway, I paused to look down. Apparently, Jon didn’t know if he was supposed to follow me.
“Come on! Follow me!” I yelled.
He started climbing the tree, and I waited until he was right under me before climbing further. Pulling myself up on a branch, I sat down, wobbling my legs back and forth to feel if the branch was strong enough to carry two people. I concluded it was. I waited until Jon was close enough and reached out to him, pulling him up to the branch.
“I’m going to climb one branch higher, that’ll be safer,” I said when he sat.
I stretched my hands above my head and found the branch above me. I grabbed it and pulled myself up.
“How do we get back down?”
“You just need to jump,” I answered.
He turned his head and looked at me. His pupils were dilated, either from fear, panic, or both.
“Relax. It’s not dangerous at all. It’s all about the landing. Look,” I said.
I bent down and jumped, landing flexibly on my hands and feet, just like a frog. I waited patiently, but Jon didn’t jump.
“Come on! Don’t tell me you’re afraid of heights. Pretend you’re jumping into that river,” I shouted while pointing to the river behind me.
“That’s not the same. If I jump in the river, I land softly, in the water. Now, I’ll land on the ground,” he responded.
“You have to land like a frog. Trust me. You won’t get hurt.”
He finally jumped and landed well. Just as I was about to ask if it had been as difficult as he had thought it would be, he lost his balance and fell. I covered my eyes with my hands.
“Ouch,” he complained.
“Are you okay?” I peeked through my fingers.
He had landed on his bum. I reached out to him and pulled him back up.
“I think you might have hurt your tailbone,” I said.
He rolled his eyes. Apparently, he knew that already. “I will never do that again,” he said.
His tone was defiant. I smiled. He seemed angry, but I knew he was faking it.
“We’ll see about that,” I reacted. I sat down on the ground and he sat next to me. “May I ask you why you ran away from home three weeks ago?”
“I started to wonder how long it’d take for you to ask that question,” he said with a sigh.
“I’m sorry, I was just wondering. We may be friends, but I don’t know you that well. I just want to get to know you better.”
“I can say the same about you. Sometimes you remind me of my younger sister. She mostly acts like she’s six years old while she’s actually as old as you are. Other times, you seem to be older and wiser. Then it seems like you’re hiding so many things. Now and then, you remind me a little bit of my mother too.”
Jon suddenly shut his mouth as a cloud of sadness took over.
“I’m not your mom or your little sister. Maybe I hide things, but you don’t know that for sure. I can be unpredictable sometimes. I’m still trying to get used to being a fox.”
I knew I sounded a bit angry, but I wasn’t. He didn’t react; he just stared into the distance. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I had the impression he was sad. I stood up and started to pace back and forth, feeling nervous. I didn’t know what I should do or say.
“Tat?” I heard him calling me from behind me.
I turned around and saw he had also stood up. He still looked sad but less so now.
“My mother was a great hunter, and she had a good pedigree. That was why she had become linked to my father. After their engagement, she only needed to obey my father as a wolf. As a human, she was free to do as she pleased. So nobody said anything when she snuck away on her own to hunt. Of course, she transformed when she was far enough away. But nobody could blame her if she left and came back as a human, and she always came back with a huge prey. But about a decade ago, she took too big of a risk. She was found dead in a canyon,” he told me.
I was shocked and suddenly very glad I still had my mom. If I needed to live alone with my father, my life would be hellish.
“Is your dad as much a control freak as mine? If that’s the case, I can understand why you’ve run away from home.”
“My father is a control freak indeed. He imposes his opinion on everybody and even has an opinion of me. I don’t meet his demands and expectations; I disappoint him. He wa
nts me to follow in his footsteps, but I’ll never be like him.”
“That sounds just like my father. He’s a lynx and he kind of thinks he’s better than the rest,” I said.
“Your dad is a lynx? Then why are you a fox?” Jon was surprised.
Oh no, not again… Why does nobody understand that? I groaned internally.
“Because my father wants to oblige me to be a lynx, and I rebel against everything he demands.”
That wasn’t totally true and wasn’t the real reason. But it was easier to explain in this way.
“I understand. I do the same thing. If there was a possibility to escape the life my father has chosen for me, I’d take that possibility immediately. I should have known. I’m sorry I’ve asked that question. It was stupid.”
I sighed in relief. Maybe he hadn’t understood it at first, but now he did and that was the only thing that mattered to me.
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m already glad you understand. But I should go now. I’ll return next week,” I said, turning around and walking away.
Five
Over the next few days, my father continued to educate me despite his frustration and disappointment. He wanted to be proud of me, I knew that. So, he made sure I became a faster and stronger fox. He taught me how to be the perfect hunter. I doubted he would ever treat me like a fox though. In his eyes I was a lynx. He’d never accept I had chosen to be a Lower.
A week after our last meeting, I was on my way back to meet Jon at the big river. I had almost arrived when I was startled by a sound. I turned towards the source of the sound and saw Jon in his wolf shape running towards me. I blinked – just for a short time – and then he stood in his human form in front of me. He still had too much speed and jostled me. I yelled and fell backwards to the ground with him lying on top of me. He put his hands beside my body and pushed himself up. I only noticed now that he was bare-chested.
“Don’t say anything, and please don’t ask any questions now. Trust me and follow me,” he whispered.
He pushed himself up and ran away. I waited a few seconds before I stood up. In the meantime, Jon had transformed again and ran a few yards further away. He seemed to be in a hurry, so I decided not to transform since it took me longer. Instead I ran after him in my human form. He jumped into the river, and I followed as he swam to the cave. I used the breaststroke to follow him because in my opinion it was still easier than crawl. I climbed into the cave and turned around, with my back facing Jon. I sat down, wrapping my arms around me. He sat down next to me.
“You should have told me,” I said.
“What should I have told you?”
“Well, that you’re… naked when you transform.”
I didn’t look at him. I was embarrassed, even though I hadn’t seen anything except his bare chest.
“Oh, that… Wait. What? Then how do you transform?”
I turned my head a little bit so I could look at him sideways. How should I answer this question? I shrugged.
“I don’t know. I just transform like this. I don’t need to take off my clothes or anything before I transform.”
“Oh, I do need to take them off. If I keep them on, they’ll rip.”
I didn’t like this subject at all. What were we even talking about?
“Yeah, you should have told me that. But what has happened? I had the impression someone or something was chasing you.”
“Yes, that’s right. I suddenly have guards. They were running after me.”
“Do you know who they are?”
“Yes, number two and number three of the pack. They don’t have to keep an eye on me, that’s not their job. But if they catch me, I’ll have a big problem.”
“I think I understand the problem. But can I ask something else? Last week, you told me you have a sister who is my age. Do you have any other brothers or sisters?”
“That’s right. Lena is also fourteen. She’s my only sister, but I do have a brother. He’s called Marc and he’s twelve,” Jon replied.
We shut up for a while. I shivered because of the cold. Eventually, I couldn’t stand it anymore; I was just freezing. I stood up and looked around. “I think it’s safe. Wait a bit,” I said.
I let myself drop into the water and swam to the other side. I quickly climbed up the wall and when I reached the edge, I looked over it to see if I could spot anyone.
“Yes, it’s safe. Come on. Quickly,” I said as loud as I dared to.
I didn’t look down. I used my ears to hear if Jon was coming closer. I heard him move in the water. A few minutes later he scared me a little by grabbing my leg. I moved my leg to tell him he had to release me and then pulled myself over the edge. I reached out to Jon and pulled him up.
“We can’t stay here. I’m afraid you’ll have to climb a tree again.”
I waited until he responded, challenging him to disagree with me. But he knew there were no other options. I searched for a big tree and climbed it. I pulled myself onto a branch and pulled Jon up too. I stretched my arms to climb even higher.
“I think this branch will be able to carry us both,” Jon said.
“Probably. But if I sit higher, I will have a better line of sight. I will be able to see more clearly what’s going on at the ground.”
I climbed as high as I dared to. I saw the two wolves immediately. They ran in a north-western direction, about one mile from here.
“I think you lost them a long time ago, but I fear they’ll notice you again if you run home. I have a plan so you can leave them behind. When I say so, you must jump and transform. Run home as fast as you can. You can’t slow down or look back,” I said.
“I can only come back in two weeks.”
I didn’t react. I was too focused. I paid attention to the two wolves and tried to calculate their speed and their route. They started to move towards the north. When I thought they were far enough, I didn’t doubt for a second. It was now or never. I couldn’t wait any longer because they could turn to the east any moment now and we couldn’t take that risk.
“Now!”
I looked down and Jon jumped. I paid attention to the two wolves again. They hadn’t noticed anything yet, but they started to turn east. I heard Jon started running.
First, the wolves didn’t notice anything. Then one of them moved his ears and both of them turned around. They had heard Jon. They chased him at full speed. They now ran faster than before. I could hit myself. Jon wouldn’t be able to escape them. They would catch him. I didn’t hesitate any longer and jumped out of the tree. I closed my eyes and focused on transforming into a fox. I opened my eyes again and tried to orientate myself. I was always disorientated when I suddenly saw the world through the eyes of a fox. I ran towards the west. Colours and objects flashed by.
The two wolves noticed me immediately when I came too close to them. They hesitated, but I didn’t. I immediately turned around and ran away in the opposite direction. I jumped into the river and swam to the cave. Once inside, I transformed back into my human form. I only dared to show up again after a very long time. I climbed up the wall and ran straight back home.
Six
I almost bumped up into Vera when I arrived in the village.
“Oh, Tatiana. I was just looking for you,” she said.
“What’s wrong, Vera?”
“My mom could save some money, and she has given me a part of it. What about you? How much do you think you can get from your mom for our trip to the human cities?”
Mary – Vera’s mom – was a nurse. She often worked for the druids in The Capitals, and they paid her with money she could spend in the human world. Neither my mom nor my father worked for the druids, but my mom regularly received money from Flora. Flora often invited my mom to come over and when my mom returned, she had some money with her.
“I think I can get enough money to go to the human cities for two weeks,” I answered.
Vera and I loved our trips to the human cities; those were rare. Even though the
motel we stayed at was mostly dirty and simple, it was still a great experience to be away from home for a while, where the situation was sometimes even worse than in the motel. At least there was a fridge in the motel, and I could take a warm bath there. During winter, the fridge and the freezer were turned off very often here at home and we were lucky if we could take a bath twice a week with lukewarm water due to a lack of electricity in our village. We also didn’t have a TV in our houses. I enjoyed playing with the remote of the TV in the motel.
“Two weeks? Really? That’s amazing! But I only have money for a week and a half.”
Vera sounded a little bit sad.
“That’s okay, Vera. We’ll put all our money together like we did the previous times. We’ll see how long we can stay and share the costs.”
Vera seemed to be thankful for that. She went back home, and I did the same so I could ask my mom’s permission.
The next day, Vera and I left to head to the human cities. We had decided to stay for ten days. We went to two different cities. In the first city, we found perfume for Vera’s mom and a set of different kinds of soap for my mom. In the second city, we found a sponge for my dad.
The first time we had gone to the human cities was two years ago when Vera had been fifteen and me twelve. We had decided to take some souvenirs with us for our families. I had had no idea at all what to buy for my father. On the last day, Vera had pushed me into a random shop and given me a sponge. Since then, it was a little joke between us, and I always bought a sponge for my dad when we went to the human cities.
When we were looking around in another shop, I found a statuette of a grey wolf. It reminded me of Jon, even though he was a black wolf. Vera didn’t ask why I bought it. Maybe she thought I bought it for myself.
We went back home when the ten days were over. We had needed to walk a full day so when I finally got home, I decided to have a long rest. I gave the souvenirs to my parents but kept the statuette. I’d be able to give it to Jon the next day. But I overslept and left too late. I didn’t even make the effort to transform into a fox, it took too much time. Jon was already waiting for me when I arrived at the river. I had run faster than ever and was out of breath. He waited until I had calmed down and could breathe normally again.
Dragon Dream Page 3
