“Thank you. I’m sorry. I left way too late. I just came back from my trip to the human cities and overslept,” I said.
“That’s okay. How did you get the money to afford that? Do you work for the druids or someone of your family?”
“No, Flora is my mom’s sister, and she’s a druid. I mean, they aren’t biological sisters. Flora was left with my mom’s family during the war. Now she’s living in The Capitals. Every time my mom visits her, she has money with her.”
“I understand. Did you go alone to the human cities?”
“No, I was with Vera. She’s my only friend, if I don’t count you. She’s one year younger than you are, and her mother is a nurse. We like to visit the human cities. That reminds me, I have something for you,” I told him.
I grabbed the small piece of fabric I had hidden under my shirt. He raised one eyebrow and looked at me weird when I pulled up my shirt, but I didn’t pay attention to it. I showed him the statuette. He took it from me and looked closely at it.
“It reminded me of you, even though you’re not a grey wolf,” I said.
“No, but that doesn’t matter. I’m glad you’ve thought about me. I wish I could give you something in return.”
“Maybe later. Do you want me to keep it a little bit longer until I must return home?”
Jon nodded and handed over the statuette. I smiled because he was careful with it, like it was a little kitten he couldn’t drop. I put it under my shirt again.
“Wait a bit. I want to show you something. Follow me,” Jon ordered me.
He didn’t wait for me. He disappeared into the forest and I followed him. I didn’t want him to leave me behind.
“Jon! Wait! I want to ask you something. Were you able to get back home or could they catch you?” I shouted to him.
“They couldn’t catch me. I was too fast.”
“No, that’s not totally true. They had almost caught you. But I intervened.”
Jon stood still and turned around abruptly. His eyes burned with rage. “What?”
He sounded furious and he frightened me. I took a step backwards. What had I done or said wrong? I had only helped him.
“Tell me exactly what you’ve done,” he commanded.
“I saw they were coming too close and jumped out of the tree. I transformed into a fox and distracted them. They couldn’t catch me because I turned around immediately when they noticed me. I hid myself in that cave just to be sure.”
“No! No, no, no! Don’t ever do that again! I don’t want you to take a risk. Promise me you won’t endanger yourself to help me.”
“Okay, I promise,” I said, but I crossed my fingers.
Jon couldn’t see my fingers were crossed and that therefore my promise wasn’t valid. He examined me to figure out if I was being truthful. I started to fear I needed to give him my word of honour. Promises might not be that important, but a word of honour was.
“Okay. We’re almost there by the way. It’s behind those bushes,” he pointed to the bushes that were further away.
He moved to the side, and I crawled through the bushes. I gasped. I couldn’t believe this. I was standing in a field where the flowers were in full bloom. Spring was almost over, and most flowers had stopped blossoming. I let myself fall to the ground and lay down in the grass. It was a nice place to chill. Jon lay next to me.
“Jon? What do I look like as a fox?” I asked. I didn’t know how I looked as a fox. I never paid that much attention to my appearance.
“Well, the tip of your tail is black, just like the tips of your ears. Your nose and paws are black as well. Your fur has the same colour as your hair.”
I grabbed a lock of my hair and held it in front of my eye. I inspected it while I wondered what colour it was.
“Brown?” I asked.
“It’s more auburn.”
“Why is my fur the same colour as my hair while you’re a black wolf and have blonde hair as a human?”
“That’s because the alpha of the pack is always a black wolf. It’s in my genes.”
I nodded in understanding. It was quiet for a while, but I suddenly got an idea. I sat up straight. “What was that?” I sounded anxious.
“What was what?”
I stood up and walked to the bushes. I stood still for a minute to listen, then crawled through the bushes and climbed a tree as fast as I could, high enough so Jon couldn’t see me. I heard him struggling with the twigs. He made a lot of noise.
“Tat?” he called me.
I waited until he reached the tree and then jumped. I landed perfectly, on his back. He lost his balance and landed with his stomach flat on the ground.
“Oops. But now you know what it’s like when someone surprises you like that,” I said.
He laughed and put both of his hands on the ground. He pushed himself up and rolled us both over, so he lay on top of me. I tried to fight back, but he was stronger. I only made it worse.
“Let me go, please.”
Jon raised one eyebrow. “Do you just give up like that? Without fighting back?”
I got angry, enraged. I wanted to punch and kick him, but I couldn’t do anything. I felt helpless. I tried to move but couldn’t release myself. I felt an attack coming up. Oh nice, this was just great. Now, I must fight myself internally too. I needed to make sure I wouldn’t just start crying.
But I couldn’t hold the tears back any longer. The first tears streamed down my face. I hated this so much. I had thought I had grown out of this and that I would never have such an attack again. But apparently, I had been wrong. That realisation made me even sadder and angrier. I burst into tears. Jon released me, but it was already too late. I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling over my cheeks anymore. He pulled me up.
“Are you okay?” he asked, worried.
I shook my head and covered my face with my arm. I didn’t want him to see me like this. He grabbed my arm and pulled it away, so it was no longer covering my face. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest.
“What… What are you doing?”
“I… I thought you could use a hug,” he answered.
I told myself I needed to look up that word in one of my books I had hidden everywhere in my house. I recognised the word but had forgotten what it meant. He waited patiently until I calmed down.
“I’m sorry. I thought I had grown out of it. In the past, I regularly had panic attacks. There was nothing that helped when I had an attack. I stamped my feet with rage, kicked and punched everyone, pulled my hair and screamed,” I told him when I had finally calmed down.
“That’s okay. I’m glad you haven’t punched or kicked me.”
He released me, and I gave him the statuette.
“I must go home. I hope you like the statuette and that you find a nice place for it,” I said.
I turned around and went home. Two weeks later, when I met Jon again at the big river, he betrayed me.
Seven
“Tat, I can’t meet you anymore,” Jon said immediately.
“What?” I shouted.
My whole world collapsed. I was furious. I ran away. I knew it wasn’t a good solution to this problem, but it was the only solution I could think of. I didn’t run far; I wouldn’t get very far with my speed anyway. Jon could transform into a wolf in a few seconds. Then he would be able to catch up to me fast. So, I decided I would be safer in a tree. I had been right. It didn’t take long until Jon reached my tree. I saw the big, black wolf on the ground. I hadn’t seen him transforming, so I was startled when I heard his voice.
“Tat! I know you’re sitting in that tree! Come down! Please?”
I didn’t respond. I was still mad.
“Okay, if you won’t come down, I’ll come to you!”
Jon sounded angry and irritated, but I was too. I couldn’t see him, so I presumed he was climbing the tree.
“Tat? Can you help me please? I don’t know how I should go further. I’m stuck,” he shouted to me a
fter a few minutes.
I still didn’t respond. He must help himself.
“Wait, I think I found a way. But thanks.”
I tried to find out if he meant something with those words, but I didn’t know if he was being sarcastic. Finally, he reached my branch.
“Is that branch safe? Can it hold us both?” he asked.
“No,” I answered.
He looked at me, and his expression showed he doubted that. “I think it’s safe. I’ll take the risk.”
He pulled himself up onto the branch. I furrowed my brows. Suddenly, he could climb trees like he was an expert.
“I thought we were friends, but friends don’t betray each other. Why?” I reacted, wanting to know the reason why he just wanted to end our friendship.
“You wouldn’t understand.”
I became angry again but tried to remain calm. “You don’t even try to explain. How do you know I won’t understand?”
“You’re right actually. Okay, I’ll tell you. I’ll become linked soon and I’m not particularly happy about that.” He sniffed and pulled up his nose.
“Linked? I don’t know that term.”
“It means I know who I’ll become engaged to.”
“Oh,” I reacted.
I knew that term. I also knew what that meant. Lower shape-shifters used that sentence when they knew who they’d marry. Marriage was actually a term the humans used; shape-shifters used the term engagement.
“When will it take place?” I asked.
“In two years, but I can’t stop it. Even if my father dies, it will still happen. But do you understand what that means?”
“Yes. I can think of reasons why they choose your partner for you. But what does that have to do with me? I mean, why can’t you meet me anymore?”
“Well, it’ll become more difficult to sneak away. I don’t know when I’ll be able to leave the village. I’ll have to sneak away when I have the opportunity.”
“Oh, that doesn’t matter to me. I’ll wait a half year or even a full year to meet you if I must. I don’t care. I’ll wait because we’re friends. Friends have to fight for each other, even though their friendship is kind of impossible,” I said.
Jon laughed. “I don’t think you’ll have to wait that long. I have a better idea. What if you come here every day and wait for two hours? I think that’d be a better idea. If you’ve waited two hours, I think it’ll be better if you go home again because that means I won’t show up. Do you want to do that?”
I didn’t need to think about that for a long time. “Deal,” I said.
I extended my hand to Jon and we shook on it.
“I’m glad we’re friends again.”
I nodded in agreement; I was also glad we were friends again. I started to feel the gravity; my legs had already been hanging in the air for a while. I bent down and jumped, landing well with both my hands and feet on the ground. I looked up.
“Are you going to jump too or what?” I shouted to Jon.
I couldn’t see his face from here, but I could imagine how his expression would look right now. I waited a little bit longer, but he didn’t jump. I was becoming bored, so I started to walk around. A few minutes later, I heard a loud sound. I immediately turned around and saw Jon lying on the ground. He had landed all wrong; he had landed on his bum.
“Ouch. Did that hurt? Are you okay?” I asked, worried for him.
I helped him get up again. He grimaced.
“Have you hurt yourself?” I asked.
He shook his head to say he wasn’t hurt, but I highly doubted that. I didn’t say anything about it though. Who was I to disagree with him? I couldn’t know what he felt, and I had had enough fights for today. I turned around and walked to the river.
“Tat?” he hesitated.
I didn’t turn around or stand still. I kept walking.
“Tat, who do think is the fastest? You or I?” he continued.
I stood still now. “What kind of stupid question is that? When you’re a wolf, you’ll always be faster than I am. But I think I can run faster when we’re both in our human forms.”
I tried to be confident about myself, but Jon laughed. I turned around so he could see my expression.
“Do you really think you can beat me in a race?” he asked.
His tone was sneering. I folded my arms and raised one eyebrow.
“I’d really like to test that theory of yours.” He said it almost teasingly, but I knew he was challenging me. He probably didn’t think I had the courage to accept his challenge. I resisted the urge to grin.
“Fine. Let’s do it.”
I tried not to show too much and keep my tone light but still tried to sound a little bit petulant. I wasn’t angry at all. It was actually funny he thought he could beat me. But he probably thought the same thing about me. Jon examined me and I could see he didn’t try to show anything either, though I could still see some surprise in his expression.
“Alright. Do you remember where the smaller river is situated? Can you find the way back to it by yourself?” he asked.
I nodded. He might have brought me there, but I knew the way. I always paid attention, so I could learn lots of new stuff. Information was useful. People didn’t think I paid attention or was curious, but I knew more than most people thought I knew. I turned around again and continued walking to the big river. I heard Jon following me. Sometimes he was noisy. When I was standing where I wanted to be, I stopped and waited until Jon arrived.
“From here, we’ll run to the other river in our other shapes,” he said when he arrived.
I nodded and closed my eyes. I concentrated so I could transform into a fox. Like the previous times, it took some time before the transformation was finished. I opened my eyes. I was sitting on my hind legs. I wondered why I was always sitting when I transformed from human to fox and why I was standing when I transformed from fox to human.
Jon snorted and I thought that was the signal to start but apparently it wasn’t. I started running but didn’t hear him running behind me, so I knew I had been wrong. It was actually not that bad I had a small head start. I wouldn’t be able to maintain my lead for long. Jon passed me sooner than I had hoped. He approached me fast and a bit later, he was running right next to me. I didn’t look sideways; I was too busy focusing on myself. I tried to keep up with him by running faster. Suddenly, a tree showed up right in front of me. I almost ran into it and just dodged it by jumping a little to the side. It was safer to run slower. I didn’t care about arriving later than Jon.
When I reached the small river, he had already transformed to his human form. I closed my eyes and concentrated. It was weird and scary he was watching me transform. I didn’t feel very comfortable, but I tried to ignore that feeling. I didn’t want to end up as a mix again. Once had been enough for me.
“You’re right so far, but I never doubted this part. Now, we’ll see if you can beat me as a human,” Jon said when I had completed the transformation.
I rolled my eyes very explicitly. “You’ll never be able to beat me as a human,” I answered.
“We’ll see. But you can’t cheat this time. If I cheat, I can also win easily.”
“But I didn’t win, even with my false start. You must be clearer about what’s the signal to start. I don’t understand you when you’re talking as a wolf.”
“You can start running when I say start. Ready?”
I shrugged. I was ready.
“Start!” he suddenly yelled.
I hadn’t expected that. I hadn’t been prepared for this. But I didn’t hang around for long. He had surprised me, but I was over it now. The distance between the small and the big river wasn’t that far, so I knew I didn’t need to save my strength. I ran as fast as I could to pass Jon. I caught up to him quickly and then slowed down a little bit. I still had a lot of energy, but I also needed to get back home. That way, I passed him slowly.
When we had almost reached the big river, I sped up a little bi
t, so I arrived there right before Jon did. I smiled. I actually could have done better and could have humiliated him like he had done with me earlier, but I wasn’t like him. Besides, I didn’t want to show my real strength. I wanted people to think less of me because that would probably be useful.
“I had told you so, hadn’t I? Don’t ever doubt me,” I said.
He grumbled. Either he was a sore loser or maybe he was disappointed he had been wrong, or maybe it was a mix of both. We didn’t say anything to each other but eventually Jon looked at my leg and furrowed his bows.
“Tat…” he started.
“What’s wrong? Is there something wrong with my leg?”
He nodded. I started to worry. I looked down to see what was wrong. The bottom of my trousers had ripped, and there was a giant red wound on my right leg. I glanced at Jon, then back at my leg and finally back at Jon. I didn’t know what I should do or say. Now I had seen how big the wound was, I started to feel the pain and grew light-headed.
Eight
“You need medical assistance. You’ve told me there’s a nurse living in your village, so I’ll take you home,” Jon said.
“Okay. We need to go in a north-eastern direction for a bit and at a certain point, we just have to go straight ahead, to the east.”
“I’ll support you until we only need to go straight ahead and then I’ll transform into a wolf.”
I nodded. He came towards me and put his left arm on my back. I wrapped my right arm over his shoulder.
“You can lean on me. Don’t worry. I’ll be able to carry your weight.”
I didn’t doubt that anymore, not since he had carried me on his back and had brought me to the small river. Together, we walked in a north-eastern direction. I limped while leaning on him. When we needed to turn east, I pushed him a bit.
“From here, it’s straight ahead,” I said after a few minutes.
I pointed to the east with my left arm and released Jon. I turned around with my back facing him so he could transform. I didn’t sit down, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get back up again. I quickly glanced at the wound again but that was a bad idea. The blood trickled down my leg, I was losing a lot of blood. I hoped to get home in time, and that I wouldn’t need a blood transfusion. Then I’d have to go to The Capitals, and my father would have to bring me there. My mom wasn’t at home; she was in the Third Capital, visiting Flora.
Dragon Dream Page 4
