by M Dauphin
“Hey you.” I hear him from behind me and a smile immediately sweeps across my face. When I turn to look at him, he takes my breath away.
“Holy cow,” I manage. My eyes slowly trail his body in his tux. The way I’m reacting to him right now you’d think we were alone in a room without these fancy clothes on.
“Nora, you look stunning,” he whispers, pulling me to him. “So fucking beautiful.” He presses his lips to mine.
“I love you, Max,” I blurt. He raises his eyebrows at me and I chuckle nervously. “I do. I wanted to tell you when you said it to me, but I was afraid and now I feel like a moron because this isn’t the right time but I had to tell you be—” he cuts me off, slamming his lips to mine and pulling me against him.
I can feel him grinning as he kisses me, one hand cupping the back of my head and the other holding me firmly against him on my lower back. His lips are so soft, his body so firm. Everything about him is a contradiction and that’s what makes me love him so much. He’s nothing like I expected. He’s blown away all pre-conceived notions. He’s my Max, and I love him dearly.
“I think you just made my entire month, Ms. Avondale,” he whispers, resting his forehead on mine.
“I’m glad.” I giggle.
I was never a giggler before Max. Damnit.
“I love you, Nora. So fucking hard.”
“I know, Max. I love you too. I don’t know what we do from here, but I know I needed to tell you.”
“I know where we go from here,” he growls, pressing against me letting me feel his erection.
“We’re in a church, Max!” I laugh and look around. Thankfully we’re in one of the darker corners of the room, but there’s still a lot of people around to see us.
“Then let’s get this show on the road so I can fuck you properly, Nora. Because fuck… as hot as you look in this dress right now, I can’t wait to rip it off of you.”
I grit my teeth and smile at him. Honestly I can’t wait for that either, but we have a wedding to get through first without me ripping his clothes off.
***
My dad’s wedding night ended with a blast. Fireworks and all. He went all out for this wedding and I couldn’t be happier for him.
Our plane landed an hour ago and we’re almost home finally. Ava and Deig have been all over each other on the plane ride and I was getting super fucking tired of it. Thankfully she’s going back to his place tonight, so I don’t have to listen to them fucking like rabbits.
That, and so I can bring Max home with me and they don’t have to listen to us fuck like rabbits.
“You can head on in. I’ll grab the bags,” Max says, helping me out of the truck. I kiss him gently and smile.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“They’re just bags, princess.”
“No not for that. Thanks for coming with me this weekend.”
“I’d do anything for you, Nora. You know this.”
“You’re damn right you would. I’ve got you now, Maxwell Holzer. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Damn straight I’m not,” he grunts, pulling the bags from the back of the car.
I walk inside and plug in my phone immediately. I lost battery power a couple of hours ago and have probably missed plenty of calls and texts making sure we made it home safe.
As it charges, I grab a glass of wine and sit on the counter, watching it light up with juice. Max walks through the door, drops the bags, and heads over to me. He plants a kiss on the top of my head, his hand rubbing my ass as his lips land on my neck. I wiggle him off and laugh.
“Insatiable,” I say, laughing.
“Always.” He shrugs.
“I need to shower,” I say. “I feel so gross.”
“Well you look so sexy,” he says, turning and walking to the kitchen for a beer.
I roll my eyes and grab my phone, pulling up all the notifications.
Not too many, all things considered.
One, though… one makes me look twice.
Nick: Ask Max where roof jumper got his drugs, Nora.
What the hell?
Why the hell would I ask Max that? What the fuck would Max know about that?
“What’s wrong?” I hear Max ask from across the room and furrow my brows, looking up at him.
Why would he know the answer to that?
“I just got the weirdest text,” I whisper, holding the phone out for him to read.
The expression change on his face is all I need.
That’s why I would ask him.
“Max, what the hell?” I manage, feeling my body start to shake. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Fuck,” he huffs, shoving the phone back at me. “Shit, shit, shit,” he hisses.
“What the hell, Max!?”
“I… shit, Nora, I can explain.” His eyes are frantic, filled with fear, and I’m sure mine match his.
“You have one shot to get this right, Max. One fucking shot, Max. Don’t lie to me.”
Holy fuck.
I have no fucking clue why the prick sent that message. I don’t know if he’s just being a douche. I don’t know if he actually knows something.
Fuck! Now she’s looking at me like I killed the kid myself… and honestly, I mean I did have a fucking hand in it!
Shit!
“Start talking, Maxwell,” she whispers, her eyes pleading with me to tell her I don’t know. She’s begging me to tell her the words she wants to hear, but I can’t do it.
I can’t blatantly lie to her like that.
“I know where he got them, Nora,” I manage, my voice thick with emotion. A gasp comes out of her and her hand goes to her mouth.
“Don’t tell me this, Max,” she whispers, sitting on the couch.
“Jesus,” I huff. “What do you want me to tell you, Nora? You asked me not to lie so I didn’t. Then you tell me you don’t want to hear the truth?!” I bark and watch her cringe. “Fuck, I’m sorry, princess. I just… Shit what the hell does that Nick guy think he’s doing!?”
“Protecting me, Max! That’s what he’s doing! Because obviously you don’t care about this!”
“I do care, Nora! I care so fucking much, but I can’t change the past!” I’m pacing her apartment, the urge to grab a cigarette and leave rushes over me and I try to stamp it down. I don’t run when things get tough. I stay and I fight for what I believe in. I believe in us.
Plus, I’m really trying to quit smoking and this is making it really fucking hard right now.
“What did you do?” she whispers from the couch finally, her eyes locked on mine from across the room. I sigh in resignation and walk over to her, sitting on the couch and taking her hand in mine.
“You know what I’m about to tell you doesn’t change a thing about how I feel for you right? I love you, Nora. And everything I’m about to tell you is in the past. I don’t do that shit anymore. Okay?”
She nods, her jaw tight and eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“I’ve been dealing around here for three years.” I watch as she takes in the blunt truth and continue. “Deig and I started shortly after I got out of a really shitty relationship. It was a way to bring in money, lots of it, without having to get up and go to work in the morning.”
“What type of drugs,” she whispers, a tear slipping down her cheek. I remember what she told me about her mom and my chest hurts for what this is doing to her right now.
Fuck!
How the fuck can I have been so fucking immature and stupid all these years? All I was worried about was the money. It never once fucking came to me that ‘oh hey, you’re probably aiding in ruining people’s lives’. I didn’t fucking care, I liked the easy paycheck and the power it gave me!
"I need to know it all, Max. I thought we were going through this with no secrets, and this is a huge fucking secret."
"I know, Nora, and I'm so fucking sorry. I fell in love with you and I got scared you wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I told you the tr
uth. I got out of it a week or two ago and—"
"A week or two!? Max you've been dealing this whole time we've been together?!"
I nod silently and her face turns angry.
"What do you fucking deal, Max?" she growls this time, the hurt shining through the anger now.
"A little bit of everything," I manage, then all of my emotions gather in my throat, threatening tears. I do not fucking cry, but it's about to happen if I lose her.
I can't lose her.
"Coke, weed, heroin at times. Prescription shit," I mumble staring at the floor. I can't look at her right now.
"It's people like you that kept my mother supplied," she whispers, realizing my biggest fear. She can't be with me because she hates my type of people, and for good reason.
"I know, Nora. That's why I stopped. When you told me about your mom I realized what I'm doing isn't what I thought it was. I was doing it for the money, not thinking about what I was doing to families." I leave out the part about selling to moms in the area. She hates me enough as it is.
"Did you give the roof jumper his drugs, Max," she asks point blank.
“No,” I whisper. She glares at me and I take a breath. “Look, it’s not a lie. He had drugs in his system, yes. He had drugs that a few days before that were in my possession, more than likely yes.” I manage to keep going but my hands are shaking with all the nerves running through me.
“So he had your drugs in his system, but you didn’t give them to him?” She raises an eyebrow at me and I groan.
“Right. It sounds like a lie, Nora, I know. He stole the drugs from my seller on campus. I knew not to sell to the kid... last time I did he was fucked up and I knew he was going to do something drastic eventually.”
“But those were your drugs he was on.”
“I believe so, yes.” I nod, staring at the floor.
She’s silent for too long, processing what she’s been told tonight.
“I don’t know what to do, Max,” she finally whispers and my heart sinks.
“I love you, Nora. I wouldn’t ever do something to hurt you on purpose. I... fuck I knew this would hurt you and I thought if I just got out of it and quit then you wouldn’t need to know,” I say, ashamed at how terrible the admission sounds coming out of my mouth.
“You were never going to tell me?” Her eyes are wet, her cheeks red; fuck I did this to her.
“I don’t know!” I huff and stand, wanting a cigarette so bad right now I can taste it. “We… everything happened so fast, Nora. It’s been less than a year since I first met you. It’s been less than two months since you came back into my life. It’s been less than two months since I’ve been madly, deeply in love with you with no way out. Things have happened so fast, Nora. I don’t want this to break us, Nora. Please,” I whisper, falling to my knees in front of her. “Please don’t let this break us. It’s fine, there’s nothing we can do about the past, but I know the future holds us together. I know it, Nora.” I try to take her hand in mine but she pulls it away, her eyes staring at me don’t hold the lust I’m used to seeing in them. “Nora, please,” I practically whimper.
“What about the cops, Max. Have you ever thought what’s going to happen when you get caught? I can’t be wrapped up in that, Max. I have a life here that I’ve built. A reputation I’ve worked hard for. I can’t be wrapped up in a drug scandal, it’ll ruin me and my business.”
“Babe, I’m not getting caught.” I half laugh. “No one’s talking, no one really knows and the ones that do know, know they’re just in as much danger as I am so they’re keeping their mouths shut.”
“How do you know?”
“Nora, it’s been almost a week. I feel like something would have happened by now. Plus, they let me leave the state no problem. I bet they didn’t even do an autopsy to see what he was high on.”
She looks at me blankly, her eyebrows furrowed together, so fucking cute. God I just want to kiss her and make it all better, but I know if I tried right now she’d slap the shit out of me and that’s half the reason why I love her so much. She’s not going to be walked all over and taken advantage of. She won’t let this go until we’ve resolved it.
But we have to resolve it. I can’t live without her.
“I love you, Max. I let myself fall for you even when I didn’t want to. I allowed myself to get so wrapped up in you and I didn’t even see what was happening right under my nose.”
“I know, and I hate myself for it. Trust me. I battled with lying to you and I hate that I’ve hurt you like this.” I take her hands in mine again and this time she allows me to keep them there, in her lap. I shift back to resting on my heels and look up at her. “I love you, Nora. Please don’t let this ruin us. Love conquers all, right?”
She nods silently, her thumb slowly stroking my fingers.
“I’m tired,” she finally whispers. I stand as she does and I pull her to me. Her arms go around me and her body melts into mine. With her head buried in my chest, I take a breath of her and close my eyes.
I have to make this right. I need to know the truth about what happened with that kid that night. I need to make sure everyone knows shop is permanently closed.
There’s no way I’m bringing Nora down. I won’t do that to her.
“Come on, let’s go to bed.” I pull away and start walking towards her room but she stays planted in her spot. I pause and look back at her, my heart breaking slowly as I realize what she’s about to say to me.
“I think you should go home, Max.” Her eyes hit mine and for the first time since we started this conversation they are clear as day.
“Nora, I—” Fuck no. She’s not ending this!
“I love you, Maxwell Holzer. I know you love me. Love isn’t the question here, it’s trust. It’s me needing to know if I’ll be able to trust you again,” she whispers. “I need time to think about all of this and what it means. I can’t have my life ruined because of your stupid mistakes.”
I take a shaky breath and nod. I bend and gently lay a kiss on her lips, then slowly make the walk to the door.
“Goodnight, princess.” I try to smile a cocky smile at her, the one I know she likes, but I don’t feel all that confident right now.
I need to be with her. I need to know she’s okay with my past.
“Goodnight, Max.” She smiles at me and holds on to the door as I walk outside after grabbing my bags.
She closes and locks the door behind me the minute I make it through her doorway.
At least she didn’t slam it.
When I get down to the parking lot and look around, it dawns on me that my truck isn’t even here.
“Shit,” I huff, looking around.
Just then my phone starts buzzing in my pocket.
“Hey man, I need a ride,” I answer, not letting Deig get to his reason for calling.
“Where are you? We have problems.”
“Right. We all do. I’m at the girls’ apartment. But I need to go home,” I stutter.
“Oh uh… yea okay. I’ll be right over.”
I take a seat on the curb and wait. Fucking relationships, man. This is what I get for falling in love and letting it turn me into a pussy. Had she never came back into my life I’d be a happy camper right now. I wouldn’t have as much sex, no, because after the airport with her nothing was quite as satisfying, so I had kind of given up, but at least my chest wouldn’t hurt like it does right now.
Deig’s car swings into the parking lot and I watch as Ava steps out of the car and storms over to me.
Great, here we go.
“You’re a fucking pig, Maxwell Holzer,” she grinds out, slapping me once before Deig pulls her off.
“What the hell, man!” I wince, holding my cheek.
“Nora called on the way over here.” He shakes his head and lets go of Ava.
“I thought you were a good guy, Max.” She shakes her head at me.
“I am a good guy!” I protest. “I got mixed up in the wrong shit but
I’m taking care of it, okay? And the girl I love just kicked me out and I feel like a fuck up at this point in my night so if you could cut me some slack—”
“Ha!” she blurts. “No. No I will not. Not until I can trust you again.”
“What about him?!” I whine, pointing to Deig. He rolls his eyes at me and looks at her.
“We’ll have words tomorrow,” she says to him, narrowing her eyes at both of us before storming off.
“Shit, she’s scarier than Nora when she’s mad, man.”
“Listen, there’s bigger problems than the girls right now, Max.” He nods to the car and I slide in and close the door, watching him wring his hands on the steering wheel.
“The cops are looking for you, Max,” he mumbles.
“Excuse me? I thought you just said the cops are looking for me?” My heart’s hammering out of my chest and Nora’s words keep ringing in my ears.
I can’t be wrapped up in a drug scandal; it’ll ruin me and my business.
Well shit.
“I heard it from Pauley,” he says. Pauley is a long-time customer and friend of the roof jumper. “He said they’ve been asking around for you. Apparently someone talked about where the kid got the drugs from.”
“They what?! Why the fuck would they do that!?” I bellow, slamming my fist on the dash. “Fuck!”
“Let’s get home and we’ll figure this shit out. We need to get you a lawyer.”
“I didn’t do shit wrong,” I growl, not even truly believing my own words.
“I know, man. He stole the drugs himself. He took them himself. But Max, you and I were still selling them. We’re the ones that brought them here.”
“Why the hell isn’t your name in on this?”
“No clue. But I’m waiting on it. This whole thing is so fucking bad, Max.”
I nod and stare out the window.
When we pull into the apartment complex my phone dings in my pocket.
Pauley: They’re looking for you, Max.
Jeb: Dude they're gonna pin murder on you, I heard. You need to leave town.
Martin: I'm so sorry, Max. He threatened my family.
