Extensive (A Single Dad Box Set)

by Claire Adams

  The thought of having Alissa back in our lives made me instantly ten times as happy as I ever thought I would be before. She was a very important part of my life, and now that Kayla was seeing things clearer, I knew that she would be a very important part of her life as well. The only thing that left a lump in my throat was the fact that I hadn’t spoken to Alissa since I broke things off, and I had no idea if she even still had feelings for me anymore. I couldn’t blame her at all if she had run for the hills and written me out of her life for good.

  “I love that,” I said kindly. “It just might be a little more difficult than that, though.”

  “I don’t understand,” she said. “She looked so happy with you, too. Why would she not want to come back and be with you?”

  “Like I said before, adults’ emotions can be very complicated,” I said, trying to explain. “I think that when I broke up with Alissa, I might have hurt her feelings.”

  “So, take her a ham and cheese sandwich, and tell her how sorry you are,” she said with a serious face.

  I tried to stifle my laughter, but I just couldn’t. Kayla was so sweet and innocent. Wouldn’t it be amazing if all the problems in life could be fixed by a simple ham and cheese sandwich and a heartfelt apology? We would probably have a ham and cheese shortage in this country, since as adults, we seemed to do things to each other on a regular basis that warranted that kind of action.

  “Will you at least try?” she asked.

  “Of course, I will,” I said, smiling. “I promise I will do everything I can to get her back.”

  This time, that was not an empty promise. I would just have to figure out how to find the courage to do so.

  Chapter 24

  Alissa

  My palms were sweaty, my head was swimming, and I hadn’t been this nervous since my debut in the school play in the third grade. I woke up with the feeling that I just had to talk to Ryan. I had to go to him and tell him exactly how I felt. I didn’t know, after weeks of moping, where the gumption came from, but I had a dream about Kayla and me at a baseball game, and I just knew that it was the right thing to do. I drove down the street and turned into the large complex on the right. As I slowly passed the doors, I finally found Ryan’s company logo on the door, and I stopped the car. The next move would be to get out. I kept telling myself that, but it seemed that my legs were not connecting with my brain at the moment.

  I pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror, realizing that sweat was beading up on my forehead, clumping the makeup that I had meticulously applied that morning. I shook my head and pulled out my compact, pausing as I stared into my own eyes in the mirror. I started to second-guess myself, but I was already there, sitting in my car on the curb by his office. I looked over at the door, having never actually been to his office before. In fact, I had no idea if he would even be in there since he worked out in the field so often, but I didn’t know where else to go at that point.

  My sister’s words were flowing through my head, reminding me that it was okay to be a little selfish every once in a while, and that if I felt this way about Ryan weeks later, I needed to fight for him. I decided before I even got out of bed that I wasn’t going to give up, even though I understood how he felt about Kayla. It was worth it to me. He and Kayla were worth it to me to stand up for what I really thought was right. I wanted to be in their lives, and I wanted to have Ryan by my side, even if it meant Kayla being angry for a while.

  I sighed and looked back in the mirror, wiping the eyeliner from under my eyes and putting powder on my face. I was fighting with myself internally, trying to decide whether I was actually going to even go into the office or not. I kept asking myself what the point was if he wasn’t even there. If I gathered the courage to go inside and he was out in the field, I was afraid that I would never build that courage back up again, and it would be lost, destined to float around the empty parking lot. I stared at myself hard in the mirror, clenching my jaw and telling myself to get it together and stop being a wimp. I was literally sitting in the parking lot, giving myself a pep talk to walk into a building and talk to the man I loved. I was pretty sure I was starting to lose my mind. I closed my eyes for a moment and then jumped, screaming slightly at the sound of a loud bang on the passenger side window. I looked over to see Ryan standing there, looking at me with confusion. I fumbled with the locks and watched as he opened the door and climbed into the passenger seat.

  He climbed in and looked out the front of the car, to the side at his door, and then back at me. I could tell he was really confused as to why I was sitting in front of his office, talking to myself, and I could feel my cheeks immediately begin to blush. My mind was running a million miles a minute, and all I wanted to do was push him out of the car and make a run for it, leaving everything behind me and crawling back into my house. That wasn’t possible, though, and I knew that I was going to have to go through with it. I no longer had a choice, and there was no good excuse as to why I would be in an industrial park in front of his office. He turned and lifted his eyebrows, smiling his charming smile at me as I melted into the driver seat.

  “It’s good to see you,” he said happily. “But, uh, what are you doing here, and why are you just sitting outside of the office?”

  Oh God, get it together, Alissa. Open your mouth and just say it.

  “I, um, well, I was talking to my sister over dinner,” I said nervously. “Did you know she was pregnant? No, you probably didn’t know that. Anyway, she told me that it was okay to be selfish sometimes, and she told me I needed to fight you. Well, not fight you, like, pow, but like fight for you. She said that selfish people were the happy ones. No, that’s not what she said. That doesn’t make any sense at all, does it?”

  He stared at me, blinking his eyes, completely confused by what I was trying to say. Hell, I was completely confused by what I was trying to say. I took in a deep breath and continued, even though my mind was screaming at me to shut the hell up.

  “I woke up today after being at a ball game with Kayla,” I said, shaking my head and wringing my hands. “I mean, I had a dream about being at a ball game with Kayla, and it made me start thinking about how miserable I have been since we broke up. Not because I can’t go to a baseball game… Shit, I am completely screwing this up.”

  “It’s okay,” he said, laughing. “Take a deep breath. How about you let me talk for a minute, and you listen. Okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “That is probably the safest thing at this point.”

  “Everything has been a mess,” he said. “I don’t mean you and me, but I definitely mean the way in which we went about everything. I can’t tell you how much I cherish those weeks where we had our relationship all to ourselves. I have survived being apart from you, simply based on the fact that I could replay those days in my head. I truly believe it was a mistake to put our relationship on hold.”

  “You do?” I was shocked, assuming he was about to tell me that it was the way it was for a reason.

  “Yes,” he said, turning to me and grabbing my hands. “I know that I don’t deserve you to forgive me, or even consider taking me back, but I am praying that you understand why I did what I did. Kayla was all I had left, and I couldn’t stand to see her hurting the way that she was.”

  “God,” I said, letting out a deep breath and grabbing my chest. “Ryan, I understand why you did what you did. I came here to tell you that I wanted to fight for you. I came here to tell you that I knew what you were doing was in good heart and earnest thought, but I wanted you to reconsider. I have been absolutely miserable without you the past few weeks. I haven’t been sleeping well. You are all I think about, and my own sister didn’t even tell me she was pregnant because she felt so bad for me.”

  “Does that mean that you are willing to consider giving it another try?” He looked hopeful, and I couldn’t help but begin to tear up at the idea that he felt the same way that I did. “I don’t want to be without you, Alissa. I knew that then, and I know that
even more clearly now. That was never a doubt in my mind. I need you, we need you, both Kayla and me. Your light is what brought both of us from the darkness, and since you’ve been gone, I have been struggling to keep my head above water.”

  “Look, I know that your daughter is your number one priority and that you will always put her first,” I said, grabbing his hands and holding them tightly. “I would never expect anything less. I also know that I’m not ready to give up such a good thing. We have it all, and we have since the first day that I came to babysit. I haven’t been in a place like this ever in my entire life, and I knew it was you and not just the idea of you. Your face, and Kayla’s face, run through my mind on a regular basis, hourly even, and I just can’t move past it. I know that the only thing for me to do is stop fighting my brain and start fighting to have you back. There is nothing in the world I want more than for us to be together, and to help Kayla be comfortable with me there in your lives.”

  Suddenly, my mind wasn’t so foggy anymore, and I couldn’t begin to explain how excited I was to have this man on my side and by my side as well. I wanted to jump into his arms, but the feelings were so intense that I still couldn’t move a muscle. He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, looking at me in the eyes. I could see the caring and love in his gaze, and my heart began to beat faster. This was exactly what I wanted, but I didn’t think I would actually get it back when I woke up that morning and headed over to his office. I figured at best, we would agree to be friends and keep the past in the past. I thought that I would leave there brokenhearted and alone, not completely ecstatic and in love.

  “I promise that I will never let the shadow of my ex-wife ruin anything for us ever again,” he said, looking me dead in the eyes. “She’s not going to continue to control my life from another man’s arms. I will not allow her to affect your life or Kayla’s life like that anymore. I am so tired of living in her shadow, and I am more than ready to break free and have the life that I always wanted. I know that you are the person that I want to experience that life with, Alissa. I’m sorry that it took me this long to come to that conclusion.”

  “I don’t care how long it took you.” I laughed. “Just as long as you got here. I’ve been waiting, knowing in my heart that you would eventually come back to me, and that we would be able to move forward with what we wanted from the beginning, to just be together.”

  “I won’t let you go again,” he said.

  He reached over and wiped the tear that fell from the corner of my eye and trickled down my cheek. I leaned my face into the palm of his hand and closed my eyes, taking in the warmth of his skin. I never thought I would feel his hands touching me again, nor did I think that I would hear him tell me he cared about me. I opened my eyes as he reached over and cupped my face in his hands, his mouth moving toward mine, and our eyes locked. As his lips pressed into mine, I could feel the electricity move through my entire body, and I leaned into him, letting go of everything that I had been holding onto since we said goodbye. I was finally back in the arms of the man that I loved, and I couldn’t let anything come between us again.

  Chapter 25

  Ryan

  I sat down on the floor and pushed the coffee table farther away from the couch in my newly-renovated living room. Alissa was right. Lightening the colors and adding those special touches made the room more inviting than it ever had. The darkness was lifted from the house, but I knew that it wasn’t just a new coat of paint. Kayla and Alissa were fetching the board games from the cabinet and carrying the snacks carefully into the room. It had only been a few days since we decided that we wanted to make this work, but Kayla was already warming up to her being there. We planned a family game night where we made a bunch of snacks, gathered around the table, and played board games until we were ready for bed. I used to do it with my mom growing up, and it was one of my favorite traditions. This would be the first time I had everyone excited and ready to participate.

  “Dad,” Kayla said, laughing as she ran into the room. “We decided that Monopoly isn’t okay because Alissa and I know you will kick our butt, so we are going to start with Clue.”

  “Oh, so instead of getting your butt kicked, you are choosing murder instead,” I said, laughing.

  “No.” She giggled, setting the popcorn and drinks down on the table. “We are solving a crime like the super sleuths in the books I’m reading for school.”

  “Well, let’s get this crime solving going then,” I said, clapping my hands.

  As I looked up, I could see Alissa walking in, carrying the game board. Kayla insisted on sitting next to Alissa, and I smiled, seeing how they interacted on such a loving and real level. We played Clue for a couple of hours, laughing and joking together as if nothing had ever happened. When we were done with that, we played a three-man version of charades, and Alissa was laughing so hard from Kayla’s interpretation of a walrus that she fell over on the floor, holding her stomach. I couldn’t think of a time that I had been happier and more at ease in my entire life. Everything before had been so organized, structured, and go, go, go. We never laughed, and I missed the sound of a house filled with voices. I kept finding myself just sitting back and taking it all in, listening to every shade of laughter that bounced off the freshly painted walls.

  I watched Alissa give Kayla her full attention, really listening to what she had to say and her wild and crazy ideas, making Kayla truly believe that she could do anything if she put her mind to it. I could see that there was actually something to my feelings, and I could already imagine some kind of future with Alissa, where she was permanently in our lives. I already wanted to have her by my side every day, afraid of the time we lost, and wanting to make sure it never happened again. She was already a staple in our new life, and that was perfectly okay with me.

  Everything about my life before Alissa felt like a bad dream, and I could really step back and see how Christina and I had gone from a loving couple to two drones in a marriage that had no passion or excitement. We thought we were acting like a family because we went to parties and school events together, but in reality, we were like robots doing what everyone else expected of us. With everything falling into place, from the renovation of the house to getting Alissa back, I felt like I had finally reached a point where I could put the devastation of my marriage to Christina behind me and move forward.

  “All right, munchkin,” I said, yawning and looking at my watch. “Time to go to bed.

  “Aww,” she groaned. “Just one more?”

  “Not tonight,” I said, kissing her forehead. “Come on; I’ll tuck you in.”

  “Dad,” she whispered, leaning up to my ear. “Can Alissa tuck me in tonight?”

  “Of course,” I said, looking over at Alissa and winking. “If it’s okay with her.”

  “Will you come tuck me in?” Kayla asked shyly.

  “Of course,” she said, standing up and taking her hand.

  “Goodnight,” I said as Kayla leaned over and kissed my cheek.

  I watched as my two girls made their way up the stairs. I leaned back against the couch and smiled, thinking about how lucky I had gotten to have these two in my life and care about me so very much. Kayla had really opened up to the idea of having Alissa around, and it had only been a few days. I could hear the two of them giggling upstairs, and I smiled, pulling myself to my feet and picking up the games. I tossed them back in the closet and then started picking up the snacks, feeling like I was the luckiest man on earth. I carried the dishes into the kitchen and began to rinse them, pausing as I felt Alissa’s hands sliding around my waist and her face pressed against my back. I dried my hands on the kitchen towel and turned around, looking down at Alissa as she pulled her head back and smiled up at me.

  “She actually let me tuck her in,” she whispered.

  “I know,” I whispered back excitedly. “Everything is working out just perfectly.”

  “The only thing I could think of to make this night better would be me
in your arms,” she said, reaching up and kissing my lips. “I’m not ready to leave you yet. Why don’t you let me spend the night?”

  “Spend the night, huh?” I chuckled. “In my newly renovated bedroom? I don’t know. What are all my other girlfriends going to think?”

  “Hey,” she said, tapping me in the stomach. “I do have to say I like the sound of being called your girlfriend.”

  “Me too,” I replied, kissing her lips once again.

  “I just want to be with you tonight,” she said with a pouty lip. “I’ve been here for hours and hours before, but I’ve never actually stayed the night here. It seems like the best place to sleep ever.”

  “Oh, you want to sleep,” I said, shrugging my shoulders teasingly.

  “I’m serious.” She laughed. “I want to know what it feels like to lay in your arms and wake up the same way.”

  I was giving her a hard time, but in reality, I wanted nothing more than for her to stay the night, wrapped in my arms, and held close to me. She didn’t know it, but I had every intention of asking her to stay before she had even gotten there that night. I knew how hard it was to say goodbye to her, and on top of that, I really wanted some adult alone time with her. We hadn’t been together since before we broke up and watching her shimmy and shake along the floor with her tiny little shorts and bouncing tits was driving me absolutely crazy.

  I had to keep myself from groping her in the middle of charades as she hopped around like a bunny in front of me. She had to be the sexiest contestant of charades to ever play the game, and I was totally picturing her naked as she bounced across the living room, her legs tight and her ass even tighter. I wanted to tell her yes, but I also liked to watch her squirm. I leaned down and kissed the side of her neck, feeling the goosebumps pop up on her skin. She shook as a streak of cold hit the back of her neck and laughed as she reached up and kissed me again.