The Silent Rhymes of a Snowflake

by Jaclyn Lewis

  The behemoth of a ship we just arrived in revs its engines again. I blink and it is gone. There’s no flash on this side. It just disappears into thin air.

  “That--is a pretty wicked ship.” I say. “Do you ever get tired of it?”

  “Honestly, no. I still can’t believe the technology exists. I mean it’s not in any of my original memories so I’m pretty mesmerized by it. You do become a little more accustomed to it over time, but my motto is ‘never lose your wonder’.” I can’t tell if she’s making a joke or if she’s serious.

  She taps her sunglasses and I make a mental note that next time I need to wear mine while I fly in that thing.

  Nodding toward the giant crater in the ground, Lotus tells me that the quarry we're assigned to today is called the “Sugar Pit”.

  The mine is open and in the overpowering sun the glistening rings of rock are almost entrancing. The pit sparkles in twinkling shades of blue. As I get close to the edge I cannot believe what I’m seeing—a hole in the ground full of diamonds. If this isn’t every girl’s dream I don’t know what is.

  I look around and spot a few other new people. A man stands on the cliff in front of a large piece of machinery. I don’t remember much about machines, but I can picture a backhoe and this looks similar. Everyone is wearing sunglasses and I search the pockets of my backpack to find mine. They are large and wrap around the sides of my face. I don’t think they look like normal sunglasses, but they serve a purpose.

  I can tell the man is preparing to give a speech as everyone crowds around him. “This…is the sugar pit”. He waves a hand to dramatically emphasize what we already know…that he is referring to the quarry behind him. He doesn’t have a snowflake on his face. Obviously this guy isn’t one of us. He is extremely tan and very muscular. The way he speaks to us reveals his arrogance—like he thinks he’s a master and we are below him.

  “My name is Noah Craymer and I’m the pit-boss. There are twelve new people here today. We’ll pair you all up with a vet and you can learn on the job. I trust you have all read through your packet and are aware of the safety precautions that must be taken with this job. Your life is your life and it is your job to keep yourself safe. No one else is going to do that for you so don’t expect it. Listen to the veterans and learn quick. It’s hot. It’s dusty. It’s dry and dangerous. Dig for diamonds. Don’t stop. Then go home. That’s all you have to do. My expectations of you are simple really.”

  His rather abrupt speech is ended and at first I think that he expects us to walk the gigantic spiral around the quarry down to the bottom, but then I see that a rickety wooden elevator has been erected at the edge of the pit and we are supposed to fit into it about ten at a time. Suddenly I’m panicking.

  I have no idea what I’m doing here and I’m afraid of the unknown. I don’t know any of these people. I don’t know how to mine for diamonds. I can barely breathe right now so I look at Lotus.

  She walks up to Noah and asks him something. Noah shakes his head “yes” and I can read his lips when he says “ok” to Lotus. He marks something off his sheet and Lotus walks toward me smiling.

  She jokingly offers her hand and says “Hello, ma’am. I’m your trainer Lotus 5-44-37. Pleased to meet you.”

  Somehow I know that she’s feigning a Southern accent from the United States and it makes me giggle. I follow along with her humor. I shake her hand and give a little curtsy as we head to the elevator shaft.

  The ride down is a rush, but nothing compared to the specter ride I just survived. I close my eyes until we are at the bottom and smell the burning fuel of the machines as we exit.

  I follow Lotus into a cave in the quarry where there is a break room with lockers. The walls of the cave are white like the sand that blows everywhere on this planet. The backpacks go in the lockers and the keys go in our pockets.

  It is eight o’clock now and a bell rings. I follow Lotus like an eager child as she starts to pick up tools from the entrance of the cave. She hands me gloves and something that looks like a giant pick axe. There is a barrel nearby and she tells me to carry that for us to put the diamonds in. We bring our water bottles and head to a corner of the pit.

  Lotus starts swinging her ax into the crater wall.

  “Why can’t they just have a machine mine these diamonds? I mean, aren’t there more modern methods of doing this?”

  She answers my question in heavy breaths between swings. “Because…they want…to keep the diamonds…as large as possible. And there are plenty of people.”

  I grab my pickaxe and try to mimic her motions. My first strike is inches away from where I aimed it. In fact I miss my mark by so much that Lotus actually looks shocked at my corruption of good pick form and playfully pushes me further down the rock with the handle of her pick-axe so I’m not a “danger” to her. I just laugh at myself and try again.

  I continue to swing and my aim improves. Smaller pieces of rock are falling to the ground. I quickly discover that my tight blue pants are made of some kind of sweat-wicking material and I’m glad for that. My arms feel heavy and I’m positive that I am clumsy at this. I feel like a child using a fork for the first time.

  I look over at Lotus and she is still going pretty strong. We take breaks only for water and there is no need for a toilet break because the heat is so strong we are sweating more than the water we consume.

  Even with the short breaks we’ve had, I feel like my arm is going to fall off after only an hour. I absolutely cannot continue anymore. I throw down my pickaxe and collapse on the ground.

  “No no. Don’t do that. Don’t sit down, Genna. Noah’s in one of his moods today.” She looks concerned and continues picking. “I know this is hard, but you have to keep going. Noah doesn’t tolerate slackers. We’re replaceable to him and he’ll shoot you if you don’t keep working.”

  “You’re just messing with me.” I pant and slouch forward tilting my head back in exhaustion.

  “No. I’m actually not joking. Noah is—temperamental.”

  “But I can’t do this. It’s too hard.” My lips feel dry and I lie flat on my back with my eyes closed. When I open them the sun stings my eyes even through the sunglasses. This is it. I may get shot for not working or I may die of heat exhaustion, but I cannot swing that axe anymore. I open my eyes again and this time I see a dark figure in the shape of Lotus.

  She stands over me with a look of sweet compassion as she offers to help me up.

  “All right then.” She scratches her head for a second. “Get the barrel and I’ll show you how to laser cut around the diamonds.”

  I had anticipated having to try harder to convince her to let me rest, but she just offers a weak smile as she throws back an entire liter of water while hardly stopping to breathe.

  “Why did they send me here anyway?” I wonder out loud. I’m obviously not cut out for this kind of work.

  “I kinda wondered the same thing when I saw you.” Lotus says as she takes a drink of water.

  “So why does the pit spiral?” I ask her--just glad to be sitting for a change.

  “Well, the angled part is called a batter and the flat steps are called berms. They keep the sides from eroding and allow us to widen the pit without worrying about a slide.”

  “I think it’s beautiful the way it sparkles in the sun. It’s hypnotic.” I muse as I look up at the walls of the pit. It actually reminds me of the Earth memories I saw when Esther asked me to pick out one thing from the scene with the woman and the child. I chose the sparkling sun.

  “So…laser cutting these rocks.” She shows me. “It’s not hard, but you have to be precise. You want to keep all of the diamond and none of the stone. If some of the rock stays it’s not the end of the world. There are specialists on Erimos that can finish the job. So if you’re going to err, then err on the side of keeping the rock and not shaving the gems…” She continues talking about the fine mechanics of cutting these brilliant diamonds.

  I really do try to listen, but I l
ose interest after a while. She’s finished with the one she’s working on and I’m dazzled by its size.

  Now, it’s my turn.

  She guzzles some more water and gets back to slamming the rock. Its noon before the bell rings and Lotus stops swinging.

  How does she do this for hours every day? I doubt that I’ll never be able to keep up with her. Lotus inspects the diamonds I’ve cut and gives me a look of approval.

  We head into the cave to get our lunches and refill our water. Lunch lasts from noon until one. I look inside my backpack and find a yellow melon, an energy bar, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There are also some very dry crackers that remind me of eating cardboard. I look around and see that everyone was given the same thing.

  Lotus looks like she’s going to fall asleep in the chair. We make some small talk, but mostly I’m so exhausted by the sun that I just want to drink water and close my eyes too. The air is still somewhat hot inside the cave, but noticeably cooler than outside.

  At one o’clock we head back out. I automatically go back to laser cutting the biggest diamonds I have ever even dreamed of, and Lotus goes back to conquering the stone wall in front of her.

  Besides the laser, this whole process seems so medieval. Sweating and swinging a pickaxe? It seems like there should be an easier way. It makes me think of the dwarves in Snow White, but I don’t feel like whistling while I work. I don’t even know if I can whistle. This memory seems especially strained. I try to shape my lips the way I think they ought to be and blow out air, but nothing happens. When I close my eyes to focus, I can hear someone whistling—see their lips and feel the wind passing over his mouth to make melody, but it hurts to try to find a face. I let go and open my eyes again.

  I didn’t think the sun could be any more intense than it was earlier, but now, it feels like we will be smothered by it. Looking around at my sweaty co-workers, a small girl catches my eye at the other end of the pit. Her rhythmic picking has noticeably slowed and her trainer is yelling at her.

  The pit is too large and I can’t hear what they are saying from over here. Lotus wrinkles her face up and focuses on her task. I’m thankful to have her and not that other guy who’s yelling at that girl.

  My mouth opens to form a question to ask Lotus when I hear the foreman reprimand the trainer for offering water to the poor girl who has fallen to the ground.

  “No. She has to learn to survive. This is what she was born to do. This is what you were all born to do. Some of you snowflakes get sent to me defective and this is how we weed’em out! If she can make it to the water she can have some.” He tosses the bottle a to the other end of the sugar pit. “If she can’t--she dies. Her choice.”

  The trainer tries to wake up the girl, but she is too dehydrated. He says something about “almost having their quota and letting her take a break.” But the foreman—Noah, carries her away. Slung over one shoulder like a hunter might carry his prey, he takes her to the far end of the pit—further from the water. I’m horrified by what I see. I jump over and start to run over to him in a rage when my arm is snagged on something as solid as the gems in the pit—Lotus’ arm is blocking me, pushing me back.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” She whispers.

  “That…that was not right. That poor girl doesn’t have a chance. How can we be expected to work like this?”

  “You’re right. It isn’t fair. But that’s how it is down here. You survive or you don’t. And you don’t challenge Noah. It may be wrong, but at least it’s simple. I’m trying to give you your best shot, but you gotta trust me. Part of that is just…doing your job and not interfering.”

  I watch as long as I can, but the small girl never moved.

  * * *

  I don’t know what to say or how to act. What Noah did was wrong and I can’t get over it. Lotus seems to go on like nothing’s happened, though.

  I don’t know what my next days in the Sugar Pit will look or feel like, but I know that if I live, it will make me stronger. No, it will make me a survivor.

  Day one of my job in the diamond mine is over. I feel like my head got run over by a backhoe and all I want to do is go to sleep. Even with the sunscreen I can feel a burn setting in on my face and shoulders. Lotus looks like she’s in even worse shape. How does she do this every single day?

  We board the specter that has come to get us at 4:50 and this time I’m prepared for the light. It still sends me into a dizzy shock to blink and end up back on the dock at Erimos Core. As we disembark, one of the other snowflakes from the quarry makes the remark that Lotus really pulled more than her weight today and gives me a dirty look.

  “What was that about?” I ask.

  “It’s nothing. That guy’s a jerk anyway.”

  “What was he talking about? I want to know!” I pressure.

  “It’s just that when you work as a team you’re supposed to pick the rock together before lunch. That way, during the hottest part of the day you can both laser cut. There’s a quota to meet each day and that seems to be the most efficient way to work. But, you know, it was your first day and you were tired. It’s really not a big deal.”

  “It is a big deal! I didn’t even know it was supposed to work that way. I’m sorry. Now that I know what’s expected I will keep up tomorrow.”

  The glance she responds with is full of humor. I don’t really believe that I’ll keep up with her, either, but I’m angry right now and also embarrassed.

  I almost turn down the corridor without saying what’s really on my mind. “And thank you.” I add. “I really don’t know why they chose me for the sugar pit. I don’t think I’m diamond material.”

  I cross my arms and my head sinks down as I stare at the tiles. Maybe it’s because my neck muscles hurt so bad and I want to collapse on a bed, or maybe it’s because I want this man to think well of me and I may have just made things worse. I’m ashamed of myself.

  “You are diamond material. You just don’t know it yet. And you’re welcome.” She says with a confident smile, and we split at the atrium.

  Stumbling, I climb all six flights of stairs. My body protests and I almost hear the stairwell laugh in a mocking victory. I make it to the top and can barely walk down the hall to my room. A shower is what I crave--even more than sleep.

  I didn’t know it was possible to be covered in a layer of dust that is literally caked on because of the sweat. I rip off my clothes and throw them in the bin marked “hamper” and head toward the shower.

  I laugh because I’m sure that whoever the laundry fairies are they will never keep that tank top white. Even though the dust itself is white, my shirt has been stained a sweaty yellow color.

  My laughter fades to a grimace as the mirror shows me lines where my arms are red compared to the part of me that was covered by clothes all day. I’m reminded of the girl I saw today—the girl that died. Will that be me tomorrow? Will my existence here be so short-lived? When I step into the shower, the warm water soothes my aching head and sore muscles, but also stings my sunburn a little.

  My muscles are on fire—raging in anger and I only picked for a little while today. Tomorrow I’m going to have to pick for four and a half hours to carry my share of the work. Is that even possible for me? Will I die tomorrow? I almost feel like a slave. I may have volunteered for “the Snowflake Program”, but I’m sure no one asked me if I wanted to do heavy manual labor in an unnaturally hot sun six days a week. I know I would have said “no”.

  I decide to worry about that tomorrow and not tonight. It won’t really help anyway.

  As I’m in the shower my other roommates come in from their respective jobs. I’m the only diamond miner in my group, but I’m not even sure where the rest of the girls were assigned. Ember comes in with a face that carries a bruise where her snowflake sits and a bloody nose. I guess I should be happy that I didn’t get chosen for the militia division. I feel badly for her, but I’m sure she doesn’t want my pity.

  She walks past ev
eryone without looking up and goes to her shower stall. Even wrapped in a towel I can see that she has a spot of purple starting to surface on her shoulder blade. She is silent and I wonder what happened, but for some reason I don’t ask.

  Kylee was chosen for the pilot program. She got to sit in a classroom all day and learn about the physics of dimension travel. She’s the only one in the room that wears a smile and she seems absolutely giddy about her new job. The other girls have jobs that range from chef to bricklayer. We are quite an eclectic group.

  We all feel refreshed after getting cleaned up, and it dawns on me that I’m hungrier than I remember ever being. I can’t wait to get down to the cafeteria, but I want to walk with Ember so I wait for her to finish. She’s the last one out of the shower and I can hear her sniffing back what undoubtedly were tears. The rest of the girls are gone and Ember seems surprised to see me when she walks to her locker.

  “So…what’s the militia like?” I know I’m treading on personal territory so I step lightly and cautiously with my words.

  “It’s fine.”

  I know she wants to say more, but I can tell that if she does she’ll break down and she’s obviously trying to toughen up for this new job, to be even more unaffected by all this than she already is. My silence begs for further explanation even though I’m really just pondering what to say next.

  She fills the awkwardness with her words. “It was hard. Yes. But you know, it’s just the first day and I’ll get better. Tomorrow I know what to expect so that’s good. I won’t be the one coming back with bruises next time.”

  Her voice is full of anger as she slams her locker and forces a half-smile. “You ready for dinner?”

  “Absolutely. I’m so hungry.”

  We walk in silence to the cafeteria. I want to tell her about my hardships in the Sugar Pit, but I know she has worries of her own and her presence alone serves to comfort me. I am starting to build friendships with people who are as lost as I am and it relieves me to know that whatever happens I am not totally alone.