A Crack in Everything (Cracks Book 1)

by L.H. Cosway

  His blink was the only indication that he’d heard me, but he didn’t loosen his hold. Instead he slammed Jackson into the wall a second time. “Do you fucking hear me?” he grunted.

  Jackson chocked, his face red, as he coughed and laughed cruelly. “You’re gonna regret this, O’Dea.”

  The sound of heels clipping on the linoleum sounded as Mrs. Green approached the room. Quick as a flash, Dylan let go of Jackson and returned to his seat. Jackson sat, too, and when she entered everyone acted like nothing had happened.

  “Everything okay in here?” Mrs Green asked, and nobody made a peep. She glanced at Dylan. “Are they all behaving?”

  He nodded, but I recognised the strain on his face. “Yep.”

  She studied him a moment, then glanced around the room. Her suspicion was clear, but she didn’t have proof that anything happened. “Next time I hear a single sound out of you lot the entire class is getting a week of detention,” she announced then strode from the room.

  We were all quiet after that. I managed to catch Dylan’s eye after she left, and he looked tired. I hated I was his weak link, the thing Jackson decided to attack. I was the one person at school Dylan was liable to lose his shit over if anyone so much as looked at me the wrong way. Now Jackson had something to get Dylan back for, and it had me all twisted up inside.

  I held his gaze and he held mine, a silent conversation between us.

  You shouldn’t have done that, I said.

  But I had to, he replied.

  The bell rang and Jackson eyeballed Dylan all the way out the door. I waited until everyone had left to approach him. I slid my fingers through his and gave his hand a soft squeeze.

  “When are you ever going to learn that violence isn’t the answer?”

  Dylan ran a hand through his hair. “I know it isn’t, Ev, but it’s all people like Jackson understand.”

  For a long while after, his words echoed in my head. I couldn’t decide if he was right. It did seem that people like Jackson wouldn’t listen to reason, they only wanted to fight. He and his gang had set their sights on Dylan a long time ago. They pinpointed him as easy prey, because even though he was big and strong, he didn’t have twenty other people to back him up. These types, they always ran in groups. Individually they were cowards, but there was strength in numbers.

  I just hoped Dylan could keep his head down long enough to escape their grasp.

  Chapter 14

  Still feeling unsettled when we got home that evening, I kissed Dylan goodbye at his flat and headed upstairs. Things only got worse when I walked into the kitchen and found Yvonne at the table doing budgets.

  There weren’t many banks in our area, but Yvonne being Yvonne, had been to each one looking for the lowest interest, the best repayment structure and other financial necessities I had no idea about. I hadn’t said anything to her about my future, as there was no way I would voice my concerns. Not now. Not after so many interviews. But today she looked more excited than before, and my stomach twisted uncomfortably. I knew it was selfish, but I secretly wished for bad news.

  I wasn’t ready to lose her. I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

  “How did the meeting go today at the bank? This was the one with the lowest interest rates, right?”

  “Yes. And it went great! I was approved for my loan.” She was smiling, and I hated myself a little that I wanted her to be looking a little more like I felt. Dismal.

  As soon as she said it, there it was. Pain. Yvonne got her loan. What if she left before the school year was through?

  I didn’t say anything as I took off my coat and set my bag down by the couch.

  “There’s some chicken and rice on the stove,” she went on.

  “I’m not really hungry,” I replied. Subdued, I went into my bedroom. I lay down on my bed and pressed my face into the pillow, a million thoughts racing through my mind. I picked up my phone, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like contacting Mam.

  I didn’t know why.

  Maybe I was just feeling sorry for myself.

  I pulled her number and rubbed my finger over the call button. My throat tightened as I experimentally pressed ‘call’. It rang just once before I came to my senses and hit ‘end’. I threw my phone into the drawer on my bedside table and closed my eyes. A few minutes later my bedroom door opened. Yvonne stepped inside, her face a picture of concern.

  “You feeling under the weather, Ev?”

  I opened my eyes and shook my head. “Just tired.”

  She came and sat next to me on the bed. Reaching out, she tucked some hair behind my ear. “You seem out of sorts.”

  I bit my lip, feeling like a baby. I just wanted to cry and beg her not to go. I might look grown up, nearly an adult, but deep down I was still a little girl who needed her mammy. And Yvonne was the closest thing I had to a mother these days.

  Tears sprang in my eyes, and I tried to push them back. It was no use. Yvonne saw them right away.

  “Oh, Ev, what’s wrong?”

  “Are you leaving?” I whispered past the tears.

  She frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  “The loan. You got approved, so you must be planning to go to New York soon.”

  She stared at me for a second as understanding dawned, then vehemently shook her head. “Honey, no, the loan isn’t for New York. That’s what my savings are for. The loan is so I can buy us a second-hand car. I thought it’d be nice if we could take Mam out on day trips once a week. Plus, it’d be good to be able to drive to and from work without having to use the buses. I didn’t say anything because I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  Embarrassment swallowed me whole. I felt so silly for jumping to conclusions. Yvonne studied me, her face sad. “I’d never plan to leave without telling you, Ev. You know I wouldn’t. The three-year plan is still in place. And I’ll make sure you’re well set up in your life before I go anywhere. If you aren’t, I’m liable to take you with me.”

  I gave a watery laugh that was full of relief and she pulled me into her arms. “Love you,” she whispered and pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’m not going to abandon you. Never, Ev. You hear me? You’re the best thing in my life, and my home will always be your home whenever you need it.”

  I knew at that moment, that it wasn’t my mam I’d wanted to talk to a few moments ago. It was reassurance I needed. Hope. Home. And that home was Yvonne. I knew she wasn’t lying. I knew she’d never abandon me.”

  I hugged her tight just as the doorbell rang. She wiped my tears away and got up to see who it was. A minute later Sam came into my room and flopped onto my bed. Yvonne returned and sat next to him.

  “You been crying, Ev?” he asked, brow furrowed. I wasn’t the sort to have emotional outbursts. In fact, I rarely cried. I didn’t often have occasion for it.

  “I took out a loan to buy a car, but Ev thought I wanted the money so I could move to New York early. It was a whole big mix-up,” Yvonne explained.

  Sam poked me in the shoulder. “You silly billy. That’s not Vonny’s style.”

  “That’s what I said,” Yvonne added and I thought she looked a little emotional herself. I knew she was feeling guilty that she hadn’t told me about the car.

  “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” I sniffed.

  “It’s not your fault. Now that I think about it, your conclusion was the obvious one,” Yvonne replied and pulled me in for another hug. Sam joined in, because that was who he was, and we sat like that for a minute together.

  “Well, do you know what I think? I think we should order Dominoes. Pizza makes everyone feel better,” Sam suggested cheekily.

  “Hey! Stop exploiting the situation for your appetite’s gain,” I said with a chuckle.

  Sam grinned. “What can I say? I’m a pizza opportunist.”

  Yvonne laughed and dabbed at her eyes. “Dominoes actually sounds really good right now.”

  Sam rubbed his hands together in glee. “Yes,
and we can catch up on what those housewives on Wisteria Lane have been up to this week.”

  How long had it been since we’d had a night with the three of us eating junk and binge-watching our favourite show? This was us. This was what we needed tonight.

  “Sounds like a plan,” I said.

  “Where would I be without you two, eh?” Yvonne asked fondly.

  “A very horrible place. Best not to think of it,” Sam teased and pulled out his phone to order the food.

  Chapter 15

  “Are we still on for our morning run tomorrow?” Sam asked, leaning against the locker next to Dylan’s.

  “Yeah, but I’ve got to drop into work first, so I’ll meet you at the entrance to Phoenix Park around ten,” Dylan replied as he pulled several books out of his bag.

  I tried to feel happy that their runs had become a weekly event, but I was a little distracted by Kirsty and her friends. Like usual, they stood just a few lockers down, whispering to each other and snickering, obviously being mean about me. It was a regular occurrence that I tried to ignore, but ever since Dylan’s public rejection of her, she was constantly shooting me dirty looks and slagging me off to people. It wasn’t so bad when compared with the sheer hatred she aimed at Dylan, but still. The girl could hold a serious grudge. I mean, even after all these weeks she was still feeling sore.

  I frowned, distracted, as a lump formed in my throat. I felt like saying something to her. I just hated tension and her animosity was so pointless. It wasn’t going to achieve anything. Before I could summon up the courage, she and her friends walked away. I slumped back against the wall and let out a frustrated sigh.

  “What’s wrong?” Dylan asked, sensing my agitation.

  He came and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, but I shook myself out of it. “Nothing. Let’s get to class.”

  Later that day, on my way to Biology, I crossed paths with Kirsty again. Well, not so much crossed paths. More like I walked by her, and she didn’t notice me. It wasn’t the time to approach and have a word though, because she was snuggling up to Jackson Keegan. Was he her boyfriend now? Ugh.

  She whispered something in his ear and he nodded, listening intently. I tried not to be too worried about such a vile pairing, because those two were so awful they probably deserved each other. Or maybe their shared awfulness would cancel itself out.

  Yeah, probably not.

  “You’re really pulling out all the stops,” Amy commented as I put together a picnic for Dylan and me. I had cheese and grapes and tiny sandwiches. I even bought a bottle of cheap Prosecco at the off-licence without getting asked for ID. Happy days.

  “Dylan’s been studying so hard. He deserves a treat,” I replied. I’d decided to surprise him with a picnic date, and it wasn’t even his birthday. Yep, I was the perfect girlfriend. He was staying late after school for a study session, so I’d gone home to make a head start on my surprise.

  “If you ask me, he’ll be happy with a cheeseburger and a handy J,” Amy said and I chuckled.

  “Classy. Now why didn’t I think of that?”

  Over the last few weeks, Amy and I had become friends. Not best friends, mind, but friends nonetheless. She liked to pop over and comment sarcastically on whatever I was doing. It was our thing.

  “Because you lack creativity, obviously,” she replied, teasing me.

  “How has everything been going with Eddie, by the way?” I asked.

  After our conversation at Conor’s birthday, I’d turned my hand to matchmaking and set Amy up with a boy she fancied from school. They’d gone out a few times, so I wondered if it was getting serious. The romantic in me enjoyed the idea of being the one who brought them together.

  “It’s going fine. We’ve had a few snogs, but I’ve decided to keep it casual. I’m not looking for a boyfriend. I mean, I’ll be leaving in the summer anyway.”

  My chest deflated in disappointment, both because she was keeping it casual with Eddie and because she was leaving the Villas. When the school year ended, Amy was moving to Wexford to work for her uncle’s company, which sold farming equipment. I couldn’t exactly see her being a good sales rep, but she seemed excited for the job. Or maybe she was just excited to have a regular wage. Either way, I was going to miss her, especially given we’d only just gotten to know each other.

  “I’m going to miss you when you leave this summer.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Piss off.”

  I set down the napkins I was folding. “No, really. I am. You have to let me visit.”

  “Sure. If you don’t mind my Steve Buscemi-looking cousins coming onto you. My aunt had five boys. She was so desperate for a girl that she kept trying, but every time out popped another tiny penis.”

  I chuckled and grimaced. “Nice.”

  “You know I don’t censor.”

  “Yes, and it’s why I love you. Come here.”

  “No. You’ve got an amorous look in your eye. I don’t like it.”

  “I want to give you a hug.”

  “Hard pass.”

  Before she could protest further, I came at her and threw my hands around her shoulders. She went quiet, but she let me hug her. I knew she liked the affection, she just wouldn’t admit it.

  There was a knock at the door, and I let go of Amy to answer it. I flung it open and practically jumped on Dylan when I saw him. He chuckled as he held me in his grip.

  “Now, there’s a warm welcome,” he murmured and dipped to give me a kiss.

  “How did you do on your chemistry project?”

  A grin spread across his face. “Aced it.”

  I smiled. “I knew you would.”

  I pressed my mouth to his neck, and he made a low rumble. “Why don’t we go into your bedroom?” he whispered just as Amy popped her head around the corner.

  “Oh, knock yourselves out. I’m leaving anyway. Well done on your project and all that.”

  She slipped by us and out the door. Dylan returned his gaze to me and waggled his brows. “Well, now that we’re all alone . . .”

  I poked him in the chest. “No bedroom shenanigans. I have a surprise planned, but first, you need to go home and shower. You’ve been sitting in a stuffy classroom all day and you stink.”

  “Hey,” he protested, but he was still smiling.

  “You know I’m right. Now go on, shower and meet me on the roof in thirty minutes.”

  His grin was devilish. “Is that where I’m getting my surprise?”

  “It might be.”

  “Okay, but it better be good.” He winked and I swiped him on the arse as he left. He chuckled all the way out the door. I loved when he was like this, cheerful and flirtatious. I was seeing less and less of the cynical, moody Dylan, and I liked to think our relationship made him feel like life wasn’t so bad.

  There was something that felt so natural and pure about being with him. When we were together, all our troubles seemed less consuming. It really was like having a soulmate, and there was this constant light and airy feeling inside me now.

  The only thing that tainted it was the thought of him leaving. But maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he’d come to realise that forging a life here in Dublin wasn’t such an awful prospect . . . maybe.

  I shook myself from my thoughts and changed into my best sundress and a cardigan. Gathering everything I’d prepared for the picnic, I headed to the roof to set up before Dylan got there. I spread the blanket on the concrete, then placed a small arrangement of flowers in the middle. When I was done, I stood back to admire my handiwork.

  “You made us a picnic?” came Dylan’s voice from behind. I turned and shot him a smile. He’d changed out of his uniform and into some jeans and a T-shirt, his hair still damp from the shower.

  He was so beautiful.

  I knew it wasn’t exactly the right word to describe a boy, but he was beautiful to me. I loved everything about his face, from the slightly crooked line of his nose, to the indent between his eyebrows, to his masculine-shaped lips
.

  “Yep. Do you like it?”

  “Of course, I do,” he replied and sat. He tugged me onto his lap and plucked a grape from the container. He brought it to my mouth, and I ate it happily.

  “I can’t wait to spend this summer with you,” he said and my heart skipped a beat. Did that mean he wasn’t leaving?

  I looked away and bit my lip as I asked quietly, “You’re staying?”

  He caught my chin between his thumb and forefinger and brought my eyes back to his. “I can’t leave. Not without you.”

  “What will you do?”

  “I’ll go full-time at work, keep saving until you finish school. Then we can leave together.”

  “But Dylan, I told you I can’t. I have Gran to care for and—”

  “Hush,” he said and pressed a finger to my lips. “Let’s not worry about all that right now. You’ve made an amazing picnic and the weather is good for once. For tonight, let’s just enjoy living in the moment.”

  Hmm, I did like the sound of that. Sometimes it was exhausting when your brain wouldn’t stop churning over. We ate and chatted about what we might do when school broke for the summer. It was still months away, but it was nice to make plans.

  Dylan pulled me to lie down, and I cuddled into his side as we stared at the sky. It was getting dark, but there weren’t any stars yet.

  “I got a missed call from my mam a few days ago,” I said, my voice quiet.

  Dylan stroked my arm peacefully when his movements stilled. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  I lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. I just didn’t really know what to think. I can’t imagine why she’d call.”

  “Maybe she wants to visit.”

  “When she wants to visit she doesn’t call, she just turns up,” I said and fell silent. We didn’t speak for a moment. “I called her the other week, but hung up before she could answer. I was upset with Yvonne and I . . . I don’t know. I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself.”