Divided Loyalties

by Patricia Scanlan

  It had given her a small sense of victory to move Eddie and Della into the other room. It was pathetic, she knew, but they made assumptions that the en suite was their room to come and stay in whenever they felt like it. Della had been decidedly miffed when they arrived to find that Dan and Carrie were already installed in their room. ‘I’ve borrowed the pump-up bed and it’s made up. If you feel it’s too low for you and your bump you can hop into the divan,’ Shauna said airily to Della and then ordered Eddie to bring their overnight bag up to the small bedroom.

  ‘Oh! We’ve been demoted!’ Della’s gay laugh was forced, her little cold eyes hard and unsmiling.

  ‘Go in and mingle and I’ll get Greg to fetch you a drink.’ Shauna completely ignored the sly jibe and ushered her sister-in-law into the crowded lounge. ‘Greg?’ she called to her husband, who was pouring a glass of wine for their solicitor. ‘Della and Eddie are here. Will you organize a drink for them? Greg will get you a drink, Della. Feel free to help yourself to the buffet,’ she said politely and left the other woman to her own devices. Della and Eddie knew some of their friends, and Shauna was damned if she was going to spend her precious party entertaining the in-laws from hell!

  For form’s sake she’d invited her father but warned him that it would be crowded and noisy and that Dan and Carrie would be staying over so he’d have to stay over too, unless he drove himself. Noel had declined the invitation, much to her relief.

  ‘You young people go and enjoy yourselves. It’s not for the likes of me,’ he assured her and she hadn’t tried to make him change his mind.

  The atmosphere was buzzing, and she was enjoying mingling with her friends. Once she’d made the decision to get the caterers in, she’d determined to be a guest at her own party and it was fun.

  ‘I think Della’s nose is out of joint. She’s been very cool with me,’ Carrie murmured an hour or so later as they stood side by side at the buffet.

  ‘Tough.’ Shauna grinned. ‘Try one of these marinated prawns, they’re gorgeous, and make sure to taste a few scallops. Eddie, true to form, has been raiding the buffet all evening and I swear to God I was getting panicky that there’d be nothing left.’

  ‘Did they bring anything?’

  Shauna gave a dry laugh. ‘Are you mad? Not a sausage.’

  ‘They’re the pits, aren’t they?’ Carrie always found their meanness incredible.

  ‘At least they’ll be out of my hair,’ Shauna said cheerfully. No-one was going to spoil her good humour tonight.

  It was after five when she got woozily into bed. She was tight, she thought giddily as Greg handed her a pint glass of water and two Solpadeine.

  ‘Great party, wasn’t it?’ he remarked as he sat down heavily on the bed to take his own tablets. ‘At least neither of us will have to get up too early in the morning. I’m bunched.’ He got into bed beside her. The bedsprings in Dan and Carrie’s room creaked rhythmically.

  Greg grinned. ‘That pair next door are having a ride. I wouldn’t be able to if I tried. Sorry ’bout that, Shauna.’

  ‘Me neither,’ she yawned. ‘This is their night out. They don’t get away without the kids that often.’

  ‘Sad bastards,’ Greg muttered and fell asleep instantly.

  Lucky, I’d call them, Shauna thought drowsily, remembering how she’d caught them snogging in the kitchen earlier. The passion was still in their marriage, even after all these years. She wondered whether her and Greg’s relationship would be so enduring, then fell asleep.

  ‘We’re the only two without hangovers, Carrie,’ Della twittered irritatingly as they all sat round the kitchen table around midday the following morning.

  ‘Be quiet, Della,’ growled Eddie as he shovelled sausage and bacon into his gob.

  ‘Well I told you you were drinking too much,’ nagged his wife.

  ‘Oh, shut up,’ he snapped.

  ‘Good enough for you,’ she said smugly. Shauna wished she’d put a zip in it. Her head was throbbing. Dan winked at her as he poured her another cup of freshly percolated coffee.

  ‘This will sort you. I made it good and strong.’

  ‘Lovely,’ Shauna said appreciatively. She was surprisingly hungry in spite of her dodgy head.

  ‘We’ll get a move on soon if you don’t mind, Shauna.’ Carrie buttered a slice of toast and smeared it with marmalade. ‘I don’t want to take advantage of Sadie’s kindness. It’s great having a sister-in-law living so near us.’

  ‘I’m sure she won’t mind,’ Della said. ‘I told my babysitter that I wouldn’t be home until this evening.’

  Surprise surprise! thought Shauna, unimpressed. ‘I’ll head off with you. I want to bring Chloe to say goodbye to Dad.’ She turned to Greg. ‘Are you going to come or do you want to stay here and tidy up?’

  He squinted at her. ‘I’ll stay here. I’ll phone your dad later to say goodbye. I’m going to have to go back to bed for an hour. I’m dying.’

  ‘Well don’t stay in bed all day, I don’t want to come home to a mess,’ she warned, knowing that Della and Eddie would do nothing to clear up if Greg went back to bed.

  ‘I’ll fill the dishwasher for you,’ Dan offered.

  ‘Thanks, Dan,’ Shauna said gratefully. ‘Even if you just collected the glasses and we gave them a wash so they’ll be ready for the caterers.’

  Between them, Dan, Carrie and Shauna had the place reasonably shipshape before they left for Whiteshells Bay. Carrie had filled a black sack with rubbish and leftover scraps and Shauna had stacked the glasses into boxes. The dishwasher was on its second load and she didn’t feel too bad about going. She had organized for the mini-maids to come and give the house a thorough clean when she was gone. Their next-door neighbours had a key and were going to keep an eye on the place and Greg had organized for a gardener to come once a month to keep the front and back gardens in order.

  ‘Well, see you, Della. You’ll probably be gone by the time I get back,’ Shauna said pointedly as the other woman stood up to embrace her. ‘The best of luck with the birth.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Della kissed her on the cheek. ‘Safe journey. We’ll be out to visit. It will be fantastic to have somewhere warm to go on our holidays.’ She turned to Carrie. ‘Keep in touch, Carrie. We’ll pop down sometime to show off the baby.’

  Carrie’s eyes widened as she shot a look at Shauna. ‘Umm,’ she murmured non-committally.

  ‘Right, let’s go, girls,’ Dan said briskly as he held out his hand to Greg. ‘Good luck, mate. Enjoy yourself.’

  ‘You bet, Dan. Hope to see you out for a visit.’ Greg shook his brother-in-law’s hand.

  ‘See you, Eddie.’ Shauna backed out the kitchen door. She was damned if she was going to give that big slob a kiss.

  ‘G’luck, Shauna,’ he mumbled. ‘See ya sometime. Can ya drink out there?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Good. We’ll be over for a party. A nice big barbie would hit the spot. Is that the place where they have the belly dancers?’ He guffawed.

  ‘Ignore him.’ Della glared at her husband.

  ‘With pleasure,’ muttered Shauna as she followed Dan and Carrie out to the cars.

  It was strange to know that this was the last time she’d drive out to Whiteshells Bay for a while, she reflected, as she drove northwards behind Dan and Carrie. She’d come home in the summer with Chloe, to escape the unbearable temperatures. Greg wasn’t going to come home this summer so it would be eighteen months before he’d set foot on home soil again.

  Chloe launched herself upon her when she followed Carrie into the house and wrapped her little arms round her. ‘Sadie, thanks a million.’ Shauna smiled at Carrie’s sister-in-law as she cuddled her daughter tight. ‘Was she OK for you?’

  ‘She was great, not a bother,’ Sadie assured her.

  ‘You wouldn’t say otherwise,’ Shauna said gratefully.

  ‘She didn’t cry at all,’ Olivia said. ‘She slept in my bed and we had great fun. I wish you weren’t going away far.
’

  ‘We’ll be home in the summer, pet. Sure we’ll hardly be gone before we’re home again, and you and Davey and Mam and Dad will come out to visit and we’ll have a great time.’

  ‘Will the new baby be able to come?’

  ‘Of course. You lucky thing, getting a new baby.’

  ‘Why don’t you get one for Chloe?’ Olivia fixed her with a blue-eyed stare.

  ‘I’m going to do my best to get one,’ Shauna said patiently.

  ‘You just have to ask Holy God. That’s what I did.’

  ‘You ask Him for me, darling,’ Shauna said with a pang. She was going to miss Olivia and Davey desperately.

  ‘OK,’ Olivia said matter-of-factly.

  ‘I’m going to bring Chloe up to say goodbye to Grandpa. Do you want to come?’ she asked, strapping her daughter into the buggy.

  ‘Yes please. Can I push the buggy?’

  ‘Sure.’ Shauna smiled. She was glad her niece was going to come with her. She wasn’t looking forward to the visit. Noel had made enough disparaging comments about bringing Chloe abroad and depriving him of his grandchild. He’d have to tone it down if Olivia was there. How sad it was that she was dreading visiting her own father, she thought despondently as she and Olivia strolled down the village with Chloe.

  ‘Would you like an ice cream?’ she asked her niece as they came to Nolan’s, the small corner shop opposite the church. It had hardly changed from when she was a child, even to the bell ringing when the old-fashioned door handle was depressed, and the glass-panelled green door opened into the dark, wooden-floored little shop that sold everything from wellington boots to knitting needles as well as basic groceries. Olivia headed straight for the deep freeze and dived down to locate a Magnum. Shauna treated herself and Chloe to a brunch, and, remembering how her father had a soft spot for Maltesers, she bought a large box for him.

  ‘Grandpa will love them. I wonder will he open them?’ Olivia eyed the chocolates longingly.

  ‘I’d say he might,’ Shauna said as they walked along the footpath towards her father’s house.

  ‘Hello, Dad.’ She put on her cheeriest voice as she poked her head into the kitchen.

  ‘Ah you brought the little one to see me?’ Noel’s face lit up when he saw Chloe. ‘And my other little treasure,’ he said, smiling at Olivia, who was patting the cat.

  Shauna opened Chloe’s clasps and the toddler struggled out of her buggy and hurried to join her cousin and Twiskers. ‘Say hello to Grandpa and give him his present,’ Shauna instructed, giving her the chocolates.

  Chloe beamed and held the chocolates out to her grandfather. ‘Gocklat,’ she said.

  ‘That’s a very good effort. She’s not bad at talking,’ Noel said and Shauna’s heart softened towards him.

  ‘Will I make us a cup of tea?’ she suggested.

  ‘Lovely. And we’ll have some gocklat.’ Noel twinkled at Olivia, knowing full well that she loved Maltesers.

  ‘So you’re off the day after tomorrow,’ he said as Shauna filled the kettle and switched it on.

  ‘Crack of dawn. We fly from Dublin to Schiphol and then transfer to a KLM flight to Abu Dhabi.’

  ‘And is it direct then?’ Noel queried, as he watched his granddaughters play with the cat.

  ‘We stop in Dhahran in Saudi but we don’t get off the plane,’ Shauna explained, as she heated the pot and rooted for tea bags.

  ‘Very strict country,’ he mused.

  ‘It’s much more liberal where we’re going,’ she assured him.

  ‘Can you practise your religion if you want to?’ Noel knew his priorities.

  ‘Indeed you can, there’s a mosque and a church almost side by side according to Julia, a friend of ours out there. So I’ll be able to go in and say a prayer for you and light a candle.’

  ‘Say one for your brother while you’re at it,’ Noel said morosely as the kettle whistled and she poured the boiling water into the teapot. It was an old brown ceramic pot that had been there since her mother’s time and Shauna felt a terrible pang of loneliness sweep over her as she placed the worn tea cosy over the pot once she’d poured the tea. How wonderful it would have been to have brought her mother to the Emirates for a holiday. She would have thoroughly enjoyed the adventure of it, being a far more outgoing person than her husband.

  Noel tore the cellophane wrapping off the chocolates as Olivia and Chloe stood patiently at his knee awaiting the goodies.

  ‘Only a few, now. They’re for Grandpa,’ Shauna warned.

  ‘Have one yourself.’ He offered her the box and for a moment there was peace between them and they smiled at each other. Shauna popped the round chocolate delight into her mouth and took a drink of tea. The taste of the hot tea melting the chocolate was delicious and she and her father savoured their little treat.

  They drank their tea and he enjoyed the company of his granddaughters. ‘I’ll miss that little one, I can see your mother in her,’ he said sadly when she slipped Chloe’s coat on her.

  ‘I’ll send you photos every few weeks,’ she promised. ‘We’ll be home in the summer. That’s only a few months.’ She straightened up and pulled on her own coat. She swallowed hard. Saying goodbye was a lot harder than she’d imagined and she couldn’t understand why. Maybe it was seeing her father’s joy in Chloe. He was very tender with her and Olivia. If only he could have been like that with his own children.

  ‘Take care of yourself,’ she said quietly.

  ‘You too, Shauna.’ Noel patted Chloe on the head and smiled down at Olivia, who had thrown her arms round him in a hug. She was such an affectionate child, Shauna thought, marvelling at how natural and unaffected and loving her niece’s embrace was. She couldn’t ever remember hugging her father or being hugged in return. She leaned over and kissed his cheek, noting how grey and tired he looked. He patted her arm awkwardly. ‘Safe journey. We’ll see you in the summer.’ He went to move out to the hall but she stopped him.

  ‘Don’t come to the door, Dad.’ Her voice faltered and a lump the size of a golf ball stuck in her throat.

  ‘I’ll see you off,’ he protested and then caught the sheen of tears in her eye.

  ‘Oh. Oh, right. Lead on, Macduff,’ he said to Olivia, who laughed delightedly.

  ‘That’s my nickname from Grandpa,’ she said cheerfully as she reached up and opened the front door. Shauna busied herself wheeling the buggy into the hall. When she reached the door she turned and looked back. Noel was standing in the kitchen looking after them, and she saw an ageing, stooped man holding his black and white cat for comfort, and couldn’t bring herself to hate him any more.

  He nodded at her and she managed a little wave, knowing that if she tried to speak she’d burst out crying. She closed the door behind her and struggled to compose herself as they walked back along the village. They came to the graveyard and she paused. ‘Are you going in to see Granny?’ Olivia asked, bringing the buggy to a halt.

  ‘Will you stay here with Chloe? The path looks a bit mucky at the gate.’

  ‘OK,’ Olivia agreed. ‘Tell Granny I was asking for her.’

  ‘I will, darling,’ Shauna assured her. She hurried up the path and turned left to reach her mother’s grave. The wreaths and flowers they’d laid on Christmas Day looked the worse for wear but she didn’t touch them. Carrie would take care of that as she took care of everything, she thought guiltily.

  ‘See you, Mam. I’ll be home in the summer. Come with me to Abu Dhabi,’ she murmured, touching the headstone. The breeze whispered in the trees and for a moment she felt a great peace and knew her mother’s spirit was with her and would be wherever she was in the world. Comforted, she hurried back to Olivia and smiled. ‘Granny sends her love,’ she said.

  ‘I bet she’s having a great time up there. You can eat as much chocolate as you like and never feel sick,’ her niece informed her with the utmost confidence.

  ‘That sounds like a great place.’ Shauna smiled as they continued on their journey.r />
  ‘How did it go?’ Carrie enquired when they got home.

  ‘Much better than I thought. Dad’s good with the kids, isn’t he?’ She took off her coat and hung it up and followed her sister into the den.

  ‘Surprisingly.’ Carrie nodded.

  ‘How could anyone not be crazy about Davey and Olivia? I’m going to miss them like hell.’ She sighed as she took Chloe’s hat and gloves off and unbuttoned her coat.

  ‘We’re going to miss you. Let’s not talk about it. Let’s just pretend that you’re not going away, that you’re just going back home to Malahide as normal,’ Carrie said tightly.

  ‘OK,’ Shauna agreed. She was dreading their goodbye and had refused Carrie’s offer to bring her to the airport.

  ‘We’ve a present for you,’ Davey announced. ‘Can we show it, Mam, can we show it?’ he begged.

  ‘OK,’ Carrie agreed.

  ‘Sit down and close your eyes,’ Davey instructed. ‘Now open,’ he said a few minutes later after some fumbling. The TV was on and she heard Chloe, Olivia and Davey singing ‘BimBamBom’ at the top of their voices, laughing hilariously as they did so. She saw them playing and running along the beach and vaguely remembered Dan messing with the video on St Stephen’s Day.

  ‘Me and my dad had it planned to do this video for Chloe so that she won’t forget us,’ Davey said earnestly, and this time Shauna couldn’t stop the tears. Neither could Carrie.

  ‘Dad, the two of them are crying,’ Davey exclaimed in exasperation to his father, who had just walked into the room.

  ‘Women do that all the time, son. You just have to get used to it,’ Dan drawled, throwing his eyes up to heaven as he saw the two sisters sniffling on the sofa. ‘Shauna, I’m off to the glasshouses for an hour. I’ll see you in the summer,’ he said, enveloping her in a bear hug as she stood up to say goodbye to him.

  ‘You’re the best, Dan,’ she murmured against his chest.