Divided Loyalties

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘Sure. I’ll look after it, Frank.’

  ‘Poor Des Feeney. That was a stroke of bad luck. If he’s in plaster he’s really stuck,’ Frank continued chattily. The phone rang.

  ‘Excuse me, Frank.’ She smiled politely.

  ‘I’ll let you get on with it.’ He uncoiled himself from the chair.

  ‘Seafield Park, can I help you?’ She waved at Frank and turned her attention to her caller.

  ‘Hello, my name’s Lorna Rooney. I was staying in one of your mobiles until this morning.’ An elderly voice came down the line.

  ‘Yes, Mrs Rooney, I remember. How are you? What’s the problem?’ Carrie continued opening her post, mostly bills unfortunately.

  ‘I think I left my reading glasses in the main bedroom. Could you check for me? I’m terrible for putting them down and forgetting them,’ the old lady quavered.

  ‘Certainly, I’ll do that. It will take a few minutes but I’ll get back to you,’ Carrie assured her and put the phone down. She looked out the window to see if she could catch sight of Olivia. Her daughter was coming out of the changing room, ready to go for her swim. Davey was already swimming up and down. He was a good swimmer. Carrie’s rule with Olivia and Davey was that they could only swim if there were other parents at the pool.

  ‘Olivia?’ she called through the window. Olivia trotted over.

  ‘Yes, Mam?’ She jigged up and down impatiently.

  ‘I need you to do something for me, pet. Run down to Frances in number two and ask her if there was a pair of glasses left in the bedroom.’

  ‘Aw, Mammy, I’m going swimming.’ Olivia scowled.

  ‘For goodness’ sake, Olivia, it’s only a small thing I’m asking you to do. Now would you hurry on,’ she exclaimed exasperatedly. Olivia stomped off in high dudgeon.

  That pair were going to get a severe talking to, she decided crossly as the door opened again and a child came in looking for a washing machine token for his mother. Maybe Dan was right, she reflected ruefully. Had she taken on more than she could chew? She didn’t feel half as good about her new business as she had earlier. Tension enveloped her as the flashing light on the so far unattended answering machine reminded her of something else not dealt with.

  She pressed the button and the first call resounded tinnily around the office. Someone was looking to book a mobile for the middle of July. She took down the dates and flicked through the diary. One available. Excellent. She’d ring back and confirm.

  The next caller was a wrong number.

  The next, another caller wanting to book for two weeks in August. She knew straight away that they were out of luck. August was fully booked. So far so good. She felt her tension lift a little. She was getting through her work at last. Another twenty minutes of peace and quiet and she’d have the guts of it sorted.

  ‘Mammy, I’s awake.’ Hannah trotted out from the back room all red-cheeked and tousled-haired. ‘I’s hungry.’

  ‘Perfect timing then.’ Dan strode into the office carrying two baskets and overheard his younger daughter’s last remark. ‘Lunch as instructed,’ he declared breezily. ‘How’s it going?’

  ‘Great,’ she fibbed, cursing his punctuality.

  Olivia barged in with the missing glasses and dumped them on Carrie’s desk. ‘Now I’m going swimming,’ she announced defiantly. ‘And I don’t want to be disturbed.’ She marched out without a backward glance.

  ‘What was all that about?’ Dan asked, highly entertained.

  ‘An attitude problem that’s going to be sorted.’ Carrie frowned.

  ‘Tell me about it over lunch. I’m off for the afternoon.’ Her husband’s eyes glinted with amusement.

  ‘Well, I’m not,’ she retorted and burst out laughing.

  ‘Is there anything I can do for you before I go fishing, or reading, or golfing?’ he teased, still grinning.

  ‘Ah let’s sit down and have our lunch while the other two are swimming and I’ll tell you all the goings on,’ she suggested.

  ‘I’ll set it out and call you when it’s ready. You look a bit fraught,’ Dan offered. Carrie reached up and gave him a kiss. She might be busy, and harassed, and wondering if she’d made a big mistake, but one thing was for sure, she had the best husband in the world.

  29

  Greg swallowed with difficulty. His heart was thumping.

  ‘You OK there, buddy?’ The surgeon gazed down over his surgical mask and patted him on the arm. ‘Fifteen minutes max once the nurse has finished prepping you. You won’t feel a thing down there when I give you the injection.’

  ‘Fine. Fine,’ Greg lied, wishing he were a million miles away. Vasectomy had seemed like the answer to all his problems. No more worries about Shauna getting pregnant. She could come off the Pill, and he wouldn’t be up to ninety every time they made love, wondering if she’d conceived. She’d never know. The timing was perfect. She was in Ireland and he would have nearly two months to get over the procedure before he saw her again.

  That was more than sufficient. He’d been assured he’d be over the op in less than a week. He could even have sex after a week, although he’d still have to use contraception until he had the two negative semen tests recommended. He wouldn’t be having sex with Shauna until August. She’d never have a clue about his procedure. She’d never realize that it was his fault that she couldn’t conceive. Guilt swept through him but he closed his mind to it. This wasn’t the time or the place for thoughts of guilt. Time enough to fret over it later. He had enough to deal with at the moment, now that he was here in the clinic in Dubai.

  He’d read all the literature that he’d been given, and been very relieved to find out that vasectomy did not affect the production or release of testosterone. His sex drive would not be affected, nor would any other masculine traits. His erections, climaxes and amount of ejaculate would all remain the same. He tried to tell himself these things as he lay on the operating table, but the negative things that he’d glossed over, and about which the urologist had reassured him, suddenly loomed large.

  The very small chance of persistent chronic scrotal pain. Risks of prostate cancer, although recent studies suggested that there were no such risks. Complications such as swelling, bruising, inflammation and infection. The words reverberated through his brain. His heart started to race. Just say he was the one in a million who was affected by post-op complications. It had been bad enough suffering the utter mortification of being tended to by a nurse just out of her teens; now he was undergoing severe mental torment and the procedure hadn’t started yet.

  ‘Ready to go, mate?’ Bob Kelly, the Aussie urologist, gave him the thumbs up. Greg felt a wave of nausea and terror wash over him. Spots danced before his eyes and then he knew nothing. ‘I guess I’d faint myself if I was having one.’ Bob grinned at the nurse. ‘I might as well inject him while he’s out.’

  ‘You men are such wussies.’ The nurse handed him the needle. Greg Cassidy wasn’t the first patient to faint before his vasectomy and certainly wouldn’t be the last. The chances were that he might even faint again. Once the surgeon had injected him with the local anaesthetic, she waved ammonia under his nose. ‘Come on, Greg. Wake up. You’ve had your injection,’ she said briskly, thinking that he was quite good-looking and very well hung. One of the finer specimens to come under her ministrations. Sometimes she wondered how she wasn’t put off sex for life with what she saw.

  Greg’s long black eyelashes fluttered. He was as white as a sheet. ‘Is it over?’ he croaked.

  ‘Just started,’ she said cheerily. ‘You won’t feel a thing.’

  ‘I don’t believe it, Carrie, this is fantastic! When I was a kid I used to feel so envious of the people who lived in the caravans for the summer. I longed to be one of them,’ Shauna exclaimed, gazing around the caravan park with amazement. ‘I never realized how attractive it was inside the gates and what a little community it is.’ She glanced over at one of the mobiles whose occupants were sitting under a sun umbrella hav
ing coffee on the veranda while chatting to their neighbour who was busy washing the outside of his mobile with a hose and mop. Another man was sitting on a deckchair on his small lawn reading the paper. There were no children around, much to Chloe’s dismay, because it was Monday, and they were all at school. Hannah was just too small to have good games with, according to Chloe.

  ‘One of the rented mobiles is vacant. Do you want to have a look at it?’ Carrie asked, delighted with her sister’s response.

  ‘Yeah, I love caravans,’ Shauna said, following her sister down a small hill and turning right into a small grassy area that contained five mobile homes, set well apart in a semicircle. Spruce trees and hedges separated them from the next section and all the small gardens were neatly tended and surrounded by masses of colourful shrubs and plants. ‘You could live here,’ Shauna remarked, gazing around in admiration.

  ‘Lots of people do, in the sites that are open all year round in Bettystown,’ Carrie said, stepping onto the veranda of the vacant mobile. She opened the door and stood back to let Shauna in.

  ‘Wow!’ Shauna exclaimed as Chloe and Hannah burst in behind them. ‘It’s so modern!’

  The mobile was tastefully laid out with wraparound sofas and light cream coffee table and TV unit. Over the fireplace hung a big mirror, which reflected the view from the wide window that dominated the lounge area. A small dining area led into a well fitted kitchen with all mod cons and then a narrow hallway led down to the three bedrooms and bathroom.

  ‘Mommy, can we stay here, pleeessse, Mommy?’ Chloe begged, entranced.

  ‘Come and stay a night if you want. This one’s vacant until Saturday,’ Carrie invited. ‘We could do a barbie on the veranda. That’s what everyone does here. The smell would make your mouth water sometimes.’

  ‘Pleesse, Mommy? Pleesse, Mommy, please, please, please?’ Chloe got down on her knees and clasped her hands together.

  ‘Just like Olivia. Actress!’ Carrie murmured.

  ‘We’ll see,’ Shauna declared. ‘Don’t forget Uncle Bobby’s coming to stay.’ She turned to Carrie. ‘Isn’t it an awful pity that Anton couldn’t make it? His mother’s having a knee replaced and he wants to be around to keep an eye on his dad while she’s in hospital. I spoke to him on the phone. He’s lovely. I’m looking forward to meeting him.’

  ‘Me too. Bobby’s really happy. It’s great.’ Carrie smiled.

  ‘I want to stay here.’ Chloe stuck out her lower lip and pouted.

  ‘Be a good girl, Chloe,’ Shauna warned, annoyed. ‘Oh, Carrie, I’ve just thought. You won’t be able to come into town and pop over to me the way you used to, now that you’re tied up.’ She made a face as realization hit.

  ‘Well, not as much as before. I am a bit constrained now,’ Carrie admitted. ‘But I can take the odd morning or afternoon off and get Kenny to keep an eye on things. Will we have a cup of coffee on the veranda?’ she suggested.

  ‘Yeah. Let’s pretend we really are on holiday,’ Shauna agreed.

  ‘You put the kettle on and I’ll go up to the office and get some coffee and a few biscuits. I’ll stick a note on the door to say that I’m in number six. You can stay here for the afternoon if you want. The kids will be coming here from school. They can all go swimming and I’ve made a big pot of saffron chicken for dinner. I could cook the rice here and we could eat outside, it’s such a lovely day.’

  ‘Perfect! Have you a few magazines or a book I could read?’ Shauna felt herself starting to relax already.

  ‘Sure, go up to the house and help yourself when we’ve had our coffee,’ Carrie suggested as she stepped outside to go and get the provisions.

  How very peaceful, Shauna thought as she filled the kettle and gazed out the small kitchen window, through which she could see a field full of green corn, rippling and swaying in the breeze, over the top of the hedge. Wouldn’t it be lovely to stay here for a while and do nothing except read and sunbathe and spend time with Carrie. She sighed as she strolled out onto the veranda. She had Bobby coming to stay for a few days and Alice, one of her neighbours, had cornered her yesterday when she was going to get the Sunday papers to ask her when was she having her annual ladies’ lunch.

  ‘I’ll let you know, Alice. I’m just home. I’m still jetlagged,’ she’d said a trifle irritably.

  ‘Oh, it’s just that I’m going to the Caribbean for a fortnight, actually we’re going cruising, and I’d really hate to miss your lunch. It’s always such fun,’ Alice twittered.

  Shauna smiled at her upon hearing this little titbit. Now she knew why Alice had been so anxious to nab her. Her neighbour was absolutely dying to let her know that she was going on a Caribbean cruise. Alice was the queen of boasters. When Valerie, the neighbour directly opposite her, had got a new Saab convertible for her birthday, Alice had nagged her husband until he’d bought her the BMW model.

  ‘Have you planned anything exciting for your holiday?’ Alice smiled sweetly.

  ‘I guess when life seems like a permanent holiday out in the Gulf it’s actually nice to come home and just chill.’ Shauna’s smile was equally sweet. ‘I’m meeting Greg in Paris for a few days. I need to update my wardrobe from last season, so that will be nice, but the great thing about being home for three months is that I can do things at the drop of a hat.’

  Alice’s eyes had narrowed at the ‘updating the wardrobe’ bit. ‘I see,’ she said tightly. ‘Well, I must be off, Peter’s playing a round in the K Club and then we’re having lunch there. Great to have you home.’ She air-kissed her and hurried across the road to her large double-fronted house, leaving Shauna half amused, half irritated. ‘I should tell her I’m renting a caravan for two weeks,’ she muttered as she watched Carrie striding along swinging a basket. Her sister looked great. She was wearing denim shorts and a pink halter-neck top and her legs were a lovely golden colour. Her auburn hair, lightened by the sun, had golden highlights that many women would pay a fortune for. Carrie always looked so healthy and natural. She rarely wore heavy make-up.

  ‘Will you be able to come to my ladies’ lunch this year? I’ve already been nabbed about it by Alice,’ Shauna said as she carried the cafetiere and milk out to the veranda.

  ‘Oh, that gabby one. I’m not mad about her; she’s such a consequence. And the more she drinks the more she twitters on about nothing.’ Carrie made a face. ‘She’s real nosy and cute, isn’t she? She’d ask you what you had for your breakfast and tell you nothing. Remember how she had the nerve to ask Maria how often she and Colin had sex?’

  ‘Yeah. She was really pissed.’ Shauna grinned.

  ‘Listen, she doesn’t need to be pissed to be rude. I don’t know why you ask her.’ Carrie slid some Club Milks onto a plate.

  ‘It would be awkward not to. It’s such a small cul-de-sac, it would be seen as a real snub. She informed me she’s going on a Caribbean cruise so I want to find out when it’s happening and maybe I’ll have the lunch then. I don’t even want to think about it.’ She groaned. ‘Honestly, now they’ve come to expect it. I shouldn’t have got into the habit of it. And then they’ll all be coming for barbecues when Greg’s home. I’m just not in the humour for entertaining this year for some reason or another. I just want to veg.’

  ‘Don’t entertain then. Tell Greg you’re taking it easy this year,’ Carrie retorted. ‘Here’s a treat for you.’ She handed her sister a packet of crisps. Chloe and Hannah were playing with a ball on the grass and she opened a packet each for them.

  ‘This is the life.’ Shauna sat back and dunked her Club Milk into her tea.

  ‘I’ve left a note on the office door. I think I’ll mitch for the afternoon.’ Carrie yawned. ‘I forgot when I decided to take this on that I wouldn’t be my own boss on hot, sunny days.’

  ‘You’re sitting on a sunny veranda dunking Club Milks; not a bad sort of job, all the same,’ Shauna teased. ‘Poor old Greg’s gone to Dubai for a few days. He rang me last night. He’s up to his eyes with work. Rather him than me. I
t’s like an oven out there at the moment. Next year I won’t be able to come home until later because of Chloe going to school, so I’ll have to make the most of this summer.’

  ‘You do that,’ Carrie advised. ‘Take it easy and do nothing and have the most relaxing summer ever.’

  Shauna smiled, raising her face to the sun. ‘You know, you’re absolutely right. Because next year, if all goes well, I’ll either have a new baby or be pregnant. I came off the Pill two weeks ago. Greg’s finally agreed to go for it. It’s a much bigger gap than I wanted, but better late than never.’

  ‘Ah, Shauna, that’s great. I’m delighted for you. And when they’re older, five years is nothing in the age difference.’ Carrie squeezed her hand.

  ‘Six years. Don’t forget I’ll be pregnant for nine months,’ Shauna pointed out.

  ‘Well, six years then. There’s more than six years between Bobby and me and look at us now,’ Carrie reminded her.

  ‘True. I’d really love if it was a girl. I’d love Chloe to have a sister,’ Shauna said wistfully. ‘We’re lucky, aren’t we?’

  ‘Yeah, we are.’ Carrie smiled at her. ‘You’d better come home for the birth. You can’t be out there on your own without me.’

  ‘I wish we were coming home to live, to be honest with you. Chloe went out the front yesterday and all the kids were playing and she was too shy to join in. My heart went out to her. It’s awful to see your child excluded. You know the way they’re such tight little groups and a stranger is always an outsider. It’s always the same when we come home. And then by the time we’re getting ready to go she’s finally fitted in and then she has to leave them. It’s hard on a child. But Greg doesn’t want to leave the Gulf.’ Shauna gave a deep sigh.

  ‘Have you said this to Greg?’ Carrie asked, looking down at her niece who was chomping on her crisps and licking her fingers. She could only imagine how Shauna felt. There must be nothing worse than seeing your child left out. Her children were lucky. They had a big circle of friends in the village.