Divided Loyalties

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘Oh, for crying out loud, you women. Have you nothing better to be doing than fighting and arguing? Look, I’m up to my eyes here, you better sort it out between you,’ he said harshly.

  ‘There’s no sorting; she’s a bitch and I don’t want to have anything to do with her. But I want you to tell her that we can have that mobile when you aren’t using it. It’s the least you can do for your family. She called us freeloaders; I’ve never been so insulted in my life. How would she like it if you spoke about her precious Carrie like that, Greg?’

  ‘I’ll talk to her,’ Greg snapped. ‘’Bye.’ He didn’t give her a chance to respond but hung up in a foul humour. What the hell was going on? The last thing he needed was a family row. He dialled Shauna’s mobile number.

  ‘Hi, Greg,’ she answered after a few rings, sounding surprisingly cheerful.

  ‘What’s going on with you and Della? She says you slapped her in the face,’ he demanded.

  ‘Yeah and it wasn’t hard enough,’ Shauna riposted coldly. ‘So little tattle-tale couldn’t wait to get on the phone to you.’

  ‘Shauna, what the hell are you doing slapping her across the face? Kids do that, not adults.’

  ‘Listen, Greg, I’m not getting involved in the ins and outs of it. Suffice it to say we had a row, I told her a few home truths, and as far as I’m concerned I don’t want to see her again. There’s no need for you to get involved.’

  ‘Well, she wants to use the mobile when we’re not using it,’ Greg said, taken aback by his wife’s unyielding position.

  ‘What she wants and what she gets are two different things, Greg, and she can go and fuck off for herself. She’s not setting foot in Carrie’s park after the way she insulted her—’

  ‘God Almighty, Shauna, I’ve enough on my plate without this crap,’ Greg raged.

  ‘Me too. Deal with it,’ Shauna retorted and hung up.

  Greg stared at the phone. Shauna never spoke to him like that. What had got into her? He knew Della was no angel but whatever had gone on between them was clearly heavy-duty stuff. He shook his head and stared at the figures in front of him. Let them get on with it and sort it. He hadn’t time for women’s petty catfights.

  Shauna sat curled up on the sofa, looking out to sea. She could hardly make out the horizon. A dank mist hung like a shroud on the caravan park. It was a grey, cold, dismal day. The weather had changed overnight but she didn’t mind. The gas fire flickered merrily, Chloe and Olivia were playing with their dolls, Hannah was having her nap in Shauna’s bed and Davey had gone to a scouting meeting.

  She’d taken Greg’s phone call in the bathroom so that the children wouldn’t hear the exchange. She was glad in a way that Della had phoned Greg; it let her off the hook about telling him that she wouldn’t be having anything to do with that bitch again. And she was extremely pleased with the way she’d handled her husband. She hadn’t got into any long, involved explanations and had just told him to deal with it.

  She smiled, imagining him sitting in his office wondering what had got into her. He had sounded very taken aback by her attitude. Usually she was the pacifier in their relationship. Well, not any more. This summer she was coming into her own. She was doing what she wanted, when she wanted, and she wasn’t feeling one bit guilty. It was a tremendous feeling.

  What an unexpectedly interesting summer she was having, she mused as she watched a fishing boat bob up and down like a cork on the cloudy, wind-tossed sea. She’d put herself first and had set her boundaries about entertaining the neighbours in Malahide. There’d been a family reconciliation, which made life much less stressful, and she’d finally dealt with the Freeloaders so decisively that she might never have to see them again, with any luck. And she’d taken no nonsense from Greg about it, after years of swallowing down her annoyance and resentment just so he could feel good about his appalling family. The icing on the cake would be getting pregnant, and then she could truly say that it had been the best summer of her life.

  She stretched out and picked up her book and opened it at the page she’d been reading. The rain began to batter against the window and thrum in a steady downpour against the roof. Most people in the park hated to see it raining. She didn’t mind it. She liked the sounds of angry, insistent drumming on roof and window; it made her feel snug. It gave her an excuse to do nothing but laze on her sofa and read. Stretching like a cat, Shauna settled in for an afternoon of total relaxation.

  34

  ‘Now be a good girl for Carrie and we’ll be home at the weekend. Daddy is dying to see you and he’s got a present for you.’ Shauna hugged Chloe tightly. Her daughter looked the picture of health from a summer spent in the fresh sea air. Her eyes were glowing, her skin was lightly tanned, and her hair shone, streaked with silky blond highlights where it had been kissed by the sun. Greg would surely be delighted to see how well she was looking.

  She straightened up and gave Carrie a hug. ‘Thanks a million for looking after her. I’ll call you from Paris,’ she promised.

  ‘You look terrific,’ her sister complimented her. ‘He’ll jump on you.’

  ‘He’d better. He’s not getting out of bed for the four days.’ Shauna grinned. She was wearing a tangerine linen trouser suit with a cream camisole and cream high-heel sandals. Her hair was swept up in a chignon. Her tan gave her a healthy, vibrant luminescence and she was fizzing with anticipation. June and July had whizzed by in a blur of lazy, relaxed days that had slipped away in easy passage, especially since her showdown with Della.

  The more she thought about it, the more pleased she was that she had finally confronted her sister-in-law with her unacceptable behaviour. She had endured it for too long because of her reluctance to rock the boat and make a stand. She hadn’t wanted to upset Greg. He got on with her family; she’d wanted to get on with his. She’d tried, hard. But she had to acknowledge that at the end of the day she couldn’t stand Greg’s sister and her husband, and when she finally admitted it out loud it was as if a huge burden had lifted off her shoulders. Knowing that Della, Eddie and the kids would not be dropping in uninvited had given her such a sense of relief that she had thoroughly enjoyed the weeks following the bust-up.

  Greg had phoned her and asked whether she had sorted things out with his sister and she’d told him in no uncertain terms that yes she had sorted things with his sister and she wouldn’t be seeing her again. And she had no intention of discussing the matter further. To her surprise he’d let it go and hadn’t raised the question again. Satisfied that that was the end of it, Shauna was really looking forward to their reunion in Paris. Having had almost two months of R&R she was even looking forward to hosting a barbecue or two in Malahide. She was determined to make the most of the month of August; next year she’d have less time at home because Chloe would be at school.

  She gave her daughter another hug. She had spent a lot of time with her this summer and it had paid off. Chloe had begun to come out of her shell and the whinging and clinginess had lessened enormously. It was heartening to see.

  ‘Here’s your taxi,’ Carrie said. She had driven over to Malahide with Shauna, who had arranged for the mini-maids to come and give the house the once-over in preparation for Greg’s homecoming.

  Shauna left in a flurry of hugs and kisses, relieved beyond measure that Chloe showed no sign of distress. That was the wonderful thing about being so close to her aunt and cousins. Carrie was like another mother to her and her cousins were as close as siblings. A smile came to her lips as she sat back in the taxi. If God was good to her, Chloe might have that much longed-for brother or sister sooner rather than later.

  Carrie waved after her sister, thinking that she had never seen her looking so well or relaxed. It had been a good summer for all of them, she thought as she closed the door and went into the kitchen to wash up the coffee mugs. Getting rid of the Freeloaders had been an added bonus. Greg hadn’t seemed too pissed off about it, according to Shauna. That was good news; she’d worried that it might af
fect their reunion.

  Carrie gazed out at the perfectly manicured lawn in the back garden and thought how different her marriage was from her sister’s. If she thought she was going to be parted from Dan for two months she’d freak. She’d miss him so terribly she didn’t think she could bear it. Yet Shauna hadn’t seemed to miss Greg much at all and seemed perfectly content on her own with Chloe in the mobile home.

  They spoke every couple of days on the phone but Carrie had often been there during the conversations and not once had Shauna told Greg that she missed him. Still, it seemed to work for them, and it really was none of her business, she told herself. Perhaps the reunions made up for the time spent apart.

  ‘Come on, you guys, time to get going,’ she called to the kids, who were playing in Chloe’s state-of-the-art tree house. She looked out the window at her niece laughing her head off with Davey. She’d hardly mentioned Greg over the summer. Even the fact that he was coming home wasn’t a big deal to her. All she was interested in was her present. That was sad, Carrie reflected. She might have everything money could buy, but Olivia, Hannah and Davey had far more than the poor little mite had or ever would have, unless Greg came to the realization that there was a lot more to life than work and making money. Somehow Carrie didn’t think that that was ever going to happen.

  Greg stood on the balcony of his hotel room, looking out at the skyline of Paris. The Eiffel Tower pierced the cobalt sky in the distance, and a pigeon cooed on the crumbling grey parapet of the building opposite. The heat rose and shimmered from the pavements. But even though Paris was hot, it was a damn sight cooler than the oven-blast heat he’d left behind him. He strolled back into the bedroom and ate a couple of grapes from the dish of fruit that lay on the coffee table. He was weary from the long flight and the interminable hot summer he’d endured in the Gulf. This was a badly needed holiday.

  He towelled his hair dry and lay on the bed and flicked on the sports channel. He could have gone to the airport to meet Shauna but he was so tired after travelling that he’d phoned her and asked would she mind if they rendezvoused at the hotel. He glanced at his watch. Her flight would be landing shortly; it was too late to change his mind.

  Greg sighed. He’d sensed that she was disappointed. Part of him was dreading meeting his wife. He didn’t regret having the vasectomy, he assured himself, especially since he’d recovered so well from it. In fact he was totally recovered. He’d found that out when he’d bedded one of the company secretaries at her farewell party just ten days previously. He was in perfect working order. If only he could get rid of the niggle of guilt that wouldn’t go away. He’d never been unfaithful to Shauna before. But it wasn’t as if he was having a full-blown affair. It had only been a one-night stand and he’d never see Avril Kowloski again. She had flown home to the US to get married.

  The closer he’d got to his reunion with Shauna, the more guilty he’d become. He knew that she was hoping to get pregnant and now it was never going to happen. She’d never know the reason why and would possibly end up blaming herself. That wasn’t a very fair thing to put her through, and he’d been toying with the idea of telling her straight out. She might be frosty for a month or two but that would pass and at least the baby thing would be sorted once and for all.

  If he could get his nerve up he’d tell her, he decided. It might be the easiest thing to get it out of the way and over and done with. The little interlude between him and Avril would remain his secret. Shauna would definitely not forgive him for that.

  His chin drooped onto his terry robe. Guilt was a wearisome thing, he thought before he nodded off to sleep.

  He woke to find Shauna smiling down at him. A porter had let her into their room.

  ‘Hello, babe,’ he said drowsily, thinking how relaxed and healthy she looked.

  ‘Hello, Greg.’ She leaned down and kissed him and the familiar scent of her Nina Ricci perfume wafted past his nostrils and a hunger for her enveloped him. He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately, all notion of telling her about his vasectomy instantly dismissed.

  Shauna lay in the crook of her husband’s arm, her head resting on his shoulder. She felt perfectly content as he slept beside her, his breathing deep and rhythmic. They had spent the afternoon in bed, making love, and then ordered a room service dinner. They’d bathed together in a scented bubble bath and gone back to bed and made love again as dusky pinks and purples turned to darkness and lights sparkled across the city.

  The breeze made by the air-conditioning cooled her naked body and she lay drowsily replete. She’d been thrilled to discover how alive and responsive her body had become, having been liberated from the libido-reducing effects of the Pill. The love-making had been wonderful. So wonderful that she was sure she could easily have got pregnant, she thought happily. It was perfect timing, right in the middle of her cycle.

  She’d never forget this summer, she thought as she drifted off into sleep. It had been the best time she could remember in a long, long while.

  ‘Hello, Daddy,’ Chloe said shyly as her father got out of the car.

  ‘Hello, Chloe. You’ve got tall. Look at you.’ Greg bent down and kissed the top of his daughter’s blond head.

  ‘This is my daddy,’ Chloe said proudly to her cousins. ‘And he’s brought me a present. Haven’t you, Daddy?’ she said anxiously.

  ‘Indeed I have. Hello, kids.’ He waved at his nieces and nephew and followed Shauna into the house.

  ‘What did you get me, Daddy, what did you get?’ Chloe was dancing up and down with excitement.

  ‘In a minute, Chloe. Have patience,’ Shauna chided.

  Chloe pouted sulkily. ‘I want my present,’ she muttered. Shauna sighed. Greg had only been home five minutes and Chloe was pouting and sulking.

  Greg rooted in his travel case and took out a gift-wrapped rectangular box. ‘There you go.’ He handed it to her. Chloe grabbed it and began to tear away the paper. The others looked on with anticipation.

  ‘Say thank you,’ Shauna reminded her.

  ‘Thanks, Daddy.’ She pulled at the paper impatiently until a polished, intricately painted box was revealed.

  ‘What is it?’ she demanded, disappointed.

  ‘Open it.’ Greg laughed.

  Olivia opened the little clip for her and when the lid was raised a dainty, pink-tutued ballerina spun slowly round on a mirrored lake to the sounds of Swan Lake.

  ‘Ooohhhh, Chloe, it’s gorgeous! You lucky sucker,’ Olivia said enviously.

  Chloe’s face lit up as she watched the little dancer move gracefully in front of her to the tinkling music. This was a great present. Olivia thought so, and she didn’t have one. Only she had one because her daddy was very rich and had lots of money. Her daddy was the best daddy in the whole wide world.

  AUTUMN

  (a year later)

  35

  ‘They’re a weird family, Carrie. Even though she knew her mother was very poorly, Greg’s mother went off on a trip to Rome and the poor old dear died on her own in the nursing home. They’re waiting for Joanna to get a flight back. Greg’s going mad. We should have been back in Abu Dhabi two days ago.’ Shauna shook her head. ‘I know this is an awful thing to say, but I’m delighted to have a few days extra here, and needless to say Chloe’s thrilled to be missing school.’

  Carrie laughed. ‘It’s even sweeter for her that my lot are back since Monday.’ She glanced over at Chloe, who was pushing Hannah backwards and forwards on the swing in the otherwise deserted playground. ‘Isn’t the place so empty compared to last week? September is always quiet here,’ Carrie observed as she filed the chit for a delivery of gas cylinders.

  ‘Do you want a cup of tea?’ Shauna asked.

  ‘Why not? I’m sorted here. I’ll go to the funeral with you, if you like. As soon as you know when it is, let me know so I can make arrangements about the kids.’

  ‘There’s no need, Carrie. It won’t bother Greg if you don’t go. You know them, they’ve a differ
ent way of looking at family than we have.’

  ‘Even so, you’re not going to face the Freeloaders alone. I’ll be right beside you,’ Carrie assured her.

  ‘Thanks, Carrie, but they don’t really bother me any more. Honestly, I never give them a thought.’ Shauna dropped two tea bags into the teapot. ‘Imagine, it’s over a year since we saw them last.’

  ‘I know. It flew, didn’t it?’ Carrie said ruefully.

  ‘You’re telling me. I can’t believe Chloe’s starting her second year at school. She hates the thought of going back to Abu Dhabi.’ Shauna sighed as she poured the tea into mugs and opened a packet of chocolate goldgrain biscuits.

  ‘Well, at least you didn’t have to move to Dubai so she didn’t have to go and make new friends,’ Carrie comforted her.

  ‘True, but Greg spends three days a week there now, so we see even less of him. This year’s going to be tough for Chloe, though,’ Shauna predicted glumly. ‘Filomena’s not coming back from the Philippines. Her father’s not well so I’m going to have to get a new au pair and Chloe’s going to have to get used to her. And her best friend, Carly, has gone back to the States. Brett didn’t get the Dubai job and he’s had enough of Pierre. I’m really going to miss him and Jenna; they were my great buddies out there. So all in all Chloe’s not the only one not looking forward to going back.’

  ‘And there’s no way that Greg will come home?’ Carrie dunked her biscuit into her tea and licked the melted chocolate with pleasure.

  Shauna shook her head. ‘Nope. I’d hoped that I might have got pregnant and that would have given me some leverage but it hasn’t happened yet and I don’t know if it will.’ An expression of sadness crossed her face.

  ‘Did you ask the doctor about it?’ Carrie probed gently. She knew that Shauna’s lack of success in conceiving was a cause of great distress to her sister. She’d seen how down she got every time she got a period.