He went to his bedroom and collected a small wrapped package from a chest of drawers, then carried it back to the sofa.
“I didn’t expect to see you today to give you your gift. I was going to give it to you tomorrow at work.” He handed her the box. “Merry Christmas, Viv.”
Totally surprised, her gaze swept from his face to the gift and back to his face. “I don’t know what to say, Sawyer. Except that you shouldn’t have.”
“I shouldn’t do a lot of things that I do,” he said softly. “But like your mother told Hannah, we’re all naughty at one time or another.”
She ripped into the package and found the necklace he’d bought at the Western store a few minutes after Hannah had purchased the earrings.
“Oh! Oh, my! It matches my little doves! How beautiful!”
Before he could guess her intentions, she was smacking kisses on the side of his face and the happy reaction put a broad grin on his lips.
“Thank you, Sawyer. You’ve made this Christmas so special for me. I hope you know that.”
He turned his head just enough to bring his lips next to hers. “And I hope you know that you’ve made my Christmas one I’ll never forget.”
Or ever experience again.
The thought settled in his heart like a dark, heavy cloud.
Chapter Thirteen
By Friday evening, three days after Vivian had surprised Sawyer and Nashota with the visit on Christmas Day, she realized that something was wrong. Somewhere between that magical day and today some sort of change had come over Sawyer, and she couldn’t understand why, or what, if anything, she might’ve done to cause it.
Now, as she watched him drive away from the headquarters parking lot, she felt worse than deflated. When she’d suggested they make a date to spend time together this weekend, he’d made excuses about needing to finish homework for his online classes. Homework? She’d wanted to point out that most colleges were on recess until the first of the year. But she’d bit her tongue and kept the comment to herself.
Trying to shake away the feeling that Sawyer was deliberately avoiding her, she started to climb into her truck to leave, when she spotted Zane walking across the parking lot toward his vehicle.
With sudden decision, she paused and waved to get his attention. Seeing her, he immediately changed direction and walked over to her.
“Hey, Viv, having trouble with your truck? I can give you a jump if you need it.”
She felt her cheeks turning pink. “Thanks, Zane, the truck is fine. I—Actually, I feel like a fool for bothering you. But I—I’m worried about Sawyer. I don’t know what’s happened to him. Ever since we’ve come back from Christmas break, he’s been—well, distant. I’m not expecting you to talk behind your friend’s back. It’s just that I’m worried about him.”
Zane’s gaze dropped sheepishly to the ground and Vivian’s heart sunk. These past few days, she’d been patiently biding her time, telling herself that Sawyer’s quiet behavior was just an aftereffect of the busy holidays. Now she was beginning to see that she’d only been fooling herself.
“You’re right. I don’t want to talk about Sawyer behind his back.” His expression grim, he lifted his gaze back to her. “But for his own good I think I should.”
“What does that mean?”
“He’s messed up, Viv. And I tried to tell him so, but he’s so damned bullheaded I can’t make sense with him.”
“It’s something about me, isn’t it?” she asked with sick certainty. “He—uh—doesn’t want to be my partner anymore.”
Zane shook his head. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to hide anything with me, Viv. I’ve known for a while that you two had a relationship going on. And frankly, I wondered how long Sawyer would allow it to last. Believe me, you’ve lasted far longer than most.”
Vivian wasn’t going to shed a tear in front of this man. No, she was far too angry for that.
“So now he’s wanting out,” she said flatly.
He shrugged one shoulder. “He’s asked Mort for a transfer. I don’t have any idea what he told the man. All I know is that Mort promised to deal with the matter in the next few days.”
A transfer! Breaking up with her romantically was one thing, but to end their working relationship was really taking things a step above and beyond.
Blowing out a heavy breath, she said, “Thanks, Zane. I’ll see you later.”
She opened the truck door, while Zane cursed under his breath. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to give the man exactly what he wants! That’s what I’m going to do!”
She jumped into the truck and, with Zane staring after her, sped out of the parking lot. Once she was on the highway, she pulled her phone from her handbag and punched Sawyer’s number.
To her relief he answered after the first ring.
“I don’t know where you are on the highway right now, but wherever it is, pull over and stop,” she ordered in a seething voice. “I’ll be there in five minutes!”
“Viv—what—”
She didn’t bother to let him speak. He’d had three days to talk and he’d chosen not to.
Jabbing her finger on the end button, she tossed the phone toward her purse and pressed down hard on the accelerator.
Three minutes later, she spotted his truck parked at a wide pullout near a highway junction. Gravel spewed from her tires when she skidded her vehicle to a stop a few feet away from his.
“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded, as they met at a spot between the two trucks. “Trying to kill yourself?”
“Not hardly. I wouldn’t want to make things that easy for you,” she said with enough sarcasm to cause his eyebrows to arch in disbelief.
Hanging his thumbs over his belt, he rocked back on the heels of his boots. “Okay. What’s this about? I could tell by your call that you’re angry, but—”
“Angry?” She let out a short, caustic laugh. “That can’t begin to describe what I’m feeling right now! And don’t waste my time giving me that blank, innocent look. You know what this is about.”
His nostrils flared as he glanced off to a spot beyond her shoulder. “How did you find out?”
“I pried it out of Zane.”
“That damned big-mouth,” he muttered.
“Don’t be blaming Zane for your behavior.”
“He had no right telling you my business!”
Vivian hadn’t thought it was possible to get any angrier, but she was. Her breaths were coming at a rapid pace, while her hands were balled into fists so tight that her fingers ached.
“Your business,” she said through clenched teeth. “You think it isn’t my business, too? I’m supposed to be your partner! You asked for a transfer and you tell me it’s none of my business? Go to hell, Sawyer!”
She started to walk away, but he caught her by the arm and tugged her back to him. “Listen, Viv, this is for the best. You need to understand I’m leaving for your sake.”
Jerking her arm from his grasp, she glared at him. “Don’t feed me any more of your lines, Sawyer. You’re nothing but a user. A big coward and a hypocrite to boot! And furthermore, you don’t need to bother about getting a transfer. There’s zero danger of me putting my hands on you again!”
In the waning light she could see his features growing tight with anger. It was an emotion she’d never seen on him before and the sight left her feeling cold and terribly lost. The Sawyer she’d known and fallen in love with had vanished before her very eyes.
“Don’t worry, Vivian. You won’t be bothered with seeing me at work or anywhere else. With or without a transfer I’m leaving Lake Pleasant for good!”
He walked off and Vivian didn’t wait to see what he did after that. Her heart breaking, she climbed back into her truck and headed it in the direction of Three Rivers.
&
nbsp; * * *
By the end of the following week, Sawyer pretty much hated himself and it didn’t help his frame of mind to have Zane reminding him every few minutes of how much of an idiot he’d been to walk away from Vivian.
Hell, he didn’t need his friend or his grandmother to tell him that he’d given up the best thing he’d ever had, or would have in his life. He’d known that long before he’d made the painful decision to part ways with her and Lake Pleasant.
Now, as the two men sat in Burro Crossing, eating burgers and fries, Zane continued to beat the subject of Vivian to death.
“I don’t get it,” Zane said. “You told me how Christmas Day with Vivian was the best holiday you’d ever had. You said your grandmother couldn’t have been happier. Why did you turn around and ruin it all?”
“Zane, I’m beginning to think you have half a brain. And you’re not even using a quarter of that part. I had to end things with Vivian. She was—” She was falling in love with him and Sawyer was falling in love with her. As euphoric and wonderful as that had been, he was smart enough to know the feelings couldn’t last. Not with a man like him. He didn’t know the first thing about being a husband or father. And he’d never be able to give her the life she was accustomed to. “Viv was getting too close and making things...uncomfortable.”
Zane studied him for long, thoughtful moments. “Ah, I see. The same old Sawyer running away from reality. Well, you really fixed things for her. She doesn’t have a partner now. Mort can’t find a replacement. I volunteered but he wasn’t keen on the idea.”
“Thank God,” Sawyer snarled. “She doesn’t need you around to make her life miserable!”
“Hah! We both know who’s made her miserable and it sure as hell isn’t me.”
Sawyer picked up his burger but couldn’t bring himself to take a bite. All he could think about was Vivian making rounds through the campsites alone. Hiking the trails alone and dealing with unruly park guests without anyone to back her up. The very idea made him sick and he mentally cursed Mort for not doing something about the situation.
You don’t need to be cursing anyone but yourself, Sawyer. You made the choice to end things. You’re the one who decided she would be better off without you than with you.
Across the table, Zane shook his head. “Forget it, man. Eat your food. You look like you need it.” He took a swig of beer, then leveled a pointed look at Sawyer. “So what are you going to do about work? Return to Dead Horse Ranch?”
“I have plenty of comp time to use. Before it runs out I figure Mort will have me transferred back to Dead Horse. At least, that’s what he told me.”
“Guess that’ll probably be for the best,” Zane said shrewdly. “You can go back to your philandering ways and forget all about Viv.”
“Yeah. I’ll forget all about her. Just like always.”
The words tasted like bitter gall, but Sawyer didn’t bother to reach for his drink. Nothing could wash away the pain of losing Vivian.
“Mom, what are you doing sitting out here by yourself?”
Vivian looked up from her seat on the firepit to see Hannah stepping onto the patio. Not wanting her daughter to suspect the misery going on inside her, she purposely straightened her shoulders and plastered a smile on her face.
“Oh, just enjoying the fire that Matt built. Pretty soon the weather will be getting too warm for this.”
Hannah took a seat next to her. “Uncle Blake and Aunt Katherine are going to play Monopoly with me and Nick. We thought you’d like to play, too.”
“I might join in on the next game. I’m rather tired tonight. With it being Friday, the park was very busy with guests coming in for the weekend.”
Hannah shot her a hopeful glance. “Since tomorrow is Saturday that means you and Sawyer don’t have to work. Can we go to the reservation to see him and Nashota?”
Only yesterday Hannah had asked when Sawyer was going to visit Three Rivers again and not wanting to disappoint her, Vivian had evaded telling her the truth. How could she explain to her that Sawyer would never be coming back to the ranch, or Lake Pleasant?
Vivian realized she was being cowardly by not telling Hannah the truth of the matter, but it was obvious just how much her daughter had come to love Sawyer in the short amount of time she’d known him. The man had that kind of effect on people, she thought ruefully. He charmed and drew on everyone’s affections, without one thought to the grief he might cause later on.
“Not tomorrow,” Vivian said, trying to make herself sound as casual as possible. “I’m not sure when we might go.”
“Why not? We had a wonderful time. I loved Nashota. She told me and Nick lots of funny stories about the chickens and the coyotes. And Sawyer is the best.” She let out a dreamy sigh. “You know, Mom, I always thought you’d probably never find a boyfriend. And then I was afraid if you did, he’d be a jerk or a nerd. But Sawyer is perfect.”
The pain in the middle of Vivian’s chest was practically unbearable and she wondered if her heart was actually splitting down the middle.
“No one is perfect, Hannah.”
“Well, Sawyer is close to it,” she happily pointed out. “He’d make a great dad for me. Just like Uncle Blake did for Nick.”
Vivian couldn’t bring herself to dampen her daughter’s wishes. Not just yet. Maybe in a few days she’d be able to gather her broken emotions enough to be able to talk with Hannah and not dissolve into tears.
“Uh, right now I’m not working with Sawyer,” she said, the words barely squeaking past her tight throat. “He had to go to another park.”
Hannah appeared stunned and it was all Vivian could do to keep her tears at bay. She’d not been able to give her daughter a responsible, loving father. Now, just as Hannah was beginning to hope that Sawyer was going to step into that role, she’d failed her daughter again. It was time Vivian faced the truth. She was no good with men.
“Another park? For how long?”
“I’m not sure about that. Maybe a long time. He might not ever get to come back to Lake Pleasant.”
The crestfallen expression on Hannah’s precious face tore the hole in Vivian’s heart even deeper.
“Maybe never. Gosh. No wonder you’ve been so sad here lately.”
Vivian attempted to smile. “I’m not sad, honey. And please don’t worry about me. You go on and enjoy your Monopoly game. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
Hannah looked as though she wanted to argue, but something must have suddenly changed her mind. Whatever it was, Vivian was grateful. She didn’t want to answer any more questions about Sawyer tonight.
“Okay, Mom. You just rest and enjoy the fire.”
She kissed Vivian’s cheek and hurried back through the French doors.
Ten minutes later, Vivian pushed herself to her feet with intentions of going back into the house, but paused when she saw her brother Holt step onto the patio. For the past three days he’d been gone to a horse auction in California and she’d missed him.
“Hello, brother, when did you get home?”
Smiling, he walked over and gave her shoulders a brief hug. “A couple of hours ago. I missed supper.”
“Because you were down at the horse barn trying to figure out where you were going to put all the horses you’re having shipped from California. Right?” she asked.
He chuckled. “I could never fool you. Yep, I bought a few. Just ten this time.”
“Ten! Holt, you have a disease. You need to be vaccinated for horse-itis.”
“There’s not such a disease,” he said with another chuckle. “Besides, how can I help myself when Blake hands me a blank check and tells me to get what I want?”
“No self-control. That’s your problem.”
But who was she to talk. If she’d had enough self-control to keep her distance from Sawyer, her heart wouldn’t be tearing into
aching bits. If she’d kept her ears shut to all his sweet, but phony words, she would’ve never gone to bed with the man.
Another tragic mistake on her part, she thought sickly. At least she hadn’t gone so far as to marry him like she had Garth. The idea very nearly made her choke with bitter laughter. Marriage with Sawyer? He would’ve jumped off a cliff at Indian Mesa to keep from marrying her, or any woman.
“I guess Blake doesn’t have any self-control, either. Now that he’s learned he’s going to be the father of twins, he’s been in a generous mood.”
Holt took a seat in one of the lawn chairs positioned close to the fire ring and motioned for Vivian to sit in the one next to his.
She shook her head. “I told Hannah I’d be inside to play a board game. She’s going to think I’m not coming.”
“Forget about the game. She and Nick sent me out here to talk to you.”
Sighing, Vivian eased into the spare lawn chair. “Okay, what are those two wanting me to do now? If it’s another trip to Dragoon, they’re just going to have to wait. I’m carrying an extra load at work and—”
He held up a hand to interrupt her. “Whoa! Slow down. This isn’t anything like that. Your daughter and nephew are worried about you and they thought I might help fix whatever’s wrong.” A gentle smile touched his face. “For some reason they seemed to think I can talk to you better than anyone else in the family.”
Her brother’s concern caused something inside her to break, making it impossible for Vivian to continue to hide her misery. Tears filled her eyes and spilled onto her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Holt. God knows I’ve tried to keep all this hidden from Hannah. She doesn’t deserve to be hurt by my bad judgment. Not again!”
“What are you talking about? Has something happened with you and Sawyer?”
Sniffing back her tears she gave him a quick explanation of everything that had happened since Christmas Day. “I’ll be honest, Holt, when I found out he’d asked for a transfer I was totally blindsided. I mean, those few days after Christmas I could see he wasn’t quite himself. But I never guessed he had the intentions to end things between us.” She looked at him and shook her head. “Your big sister has to be one of the stupidest women in Yavapai County and beyond.”
A Ranger For Christmas (Linda Lael Miller Presents; Men 0f The West Book 40) Page 18
