Anything but Love cl-3

by Beth Ciotta

  “Only on the outside. Speaking of change,” Rae said, bulldozing forward, “Sam told me about the fire and how you lost everything. I’m so sorry, Rocky. I know how much you loved the Red Clover.”

  “I’ve come to terms.” Her clipped response indicated she wasn’t going down that personal road. “You’ve seen Sam?”

  Clearly the spotlight was on Rae. “He called me a couple of weeks ago. We’ve talked a few times since. He was also nice enough to pick me up at the airport last night.”

  “I spoke to Sam earlier today. He didn’t mention—”

  “I asked him not to. I wanted to settle in and get my bearings before letting anyone know I was back in town.”

  “Were those Sam’s taillights I saw heading out when I opened the door?”

  “Actually Luke was kind enough to give me a lift tonight.”

  “So you’ve already seen Luke, too. Huh.”

  It was all Rae could do to maintain eye contact with Rocky. Luke’s sister. Her baby’s aunt. How would she feel when she saw Daisy or, God, Luke’s older and slightly intimidating brother, Dev? Sam had also mentioned that Luke’s parents would be back in town for Rocky’s wedding. The Monroes were the most influential family in Sugar Creek aside from the Burkes. Although, also according to Sam, the former town mayor—Randall Burke—had recently moved away, taking his wife and former Cupcake Lover, Tasha, along. Rae had only been away three months, yet so much had changed. Everything had changed.

  Okay, maybe not everything.

  Even though this was now technically Rocky’s house, it still looked like Daisy’s home. The Cupcake Lovers met every Thursday and many of those Thursdays they’d gathered right here. Daisy might have moved out but she’d left all her furniture behind. Rae tried to take comfort in the familiar surroundings, but there was no comfort to be had. She was as good as a stranger to Rocky and everyone else in Sugar Creek. Like any stranger, she’d have to earn their trust and respect.

  “Are you all right?”

  Rae blinked.

  “You look pale.”

  “Jet lagged.”

  “Ah.” Rocky pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead then sighed. “I have to tell you, I thought I was more sympathetic to your plight—whatever that is. I didn’t think I’d feel this—”

  “Betrayed?”

  “We all got the letter you sent—thank you for that—but you didn’t suggest we’d ever see you again. In fact, that letter read to me like an official good-bye.”

  “It was.”

  “So why are you back?” Rocky asked plainly. “Why did you leave in the first place? Why did you pretend—”

  “Personal issues were at play. I wanted to escape certain pressures. I wanted … I needed to be someone other than me for a while. I never meant to hurt anyone.”

  “So you said in your letter. But just now all I can focus on is that you played us for chumps for a year. Was any part of Rachel Lacey real?”

  “All I lied about was my name and background. I don’t expect you to believe me, but, aside from the money aspect, Rachel and I are one in the same. I’m quiet. I’m guarded. I have a brother, although he is a stepbrother, serving overseas in the marines. The son of my mother’s second husband. We’re quite close. I’m also certified to work with children. That’s part of the reason I’m back. I heard about the closing of Sugar Tots. Whether anyone believes it or not, I loved working there. Working with the children. I miss them and…”

  Rae massaged her throbbing temples, stunned that she was babbling but unable to stop. “Every town should have access to affordable, high quality day care. A safe and developmentally appropriate environment for preschool and school-age children. An establishment staffed with nurturing professionals who promote education and each child’s social, emotional, and cognitive development. Gretchen’s heart was never in the right place,” Rae plowed on. “She cared more about advancing her personal goals than investing energy into the children’s programs. Honestly, I’m glad she’s gone. Although I’m sorry she closed the doors. I’m here for those children and for their parents. I’m here to make a difference. I’m qualified and emotionally invested and—”

  “Okay. Okay.” Rocky held up her hands. “Slow down. Damn. I never knew you were so passionate.”

  “That’s because I suppressed my feelings and opinions while living here.” Rae blew out a breath, lowered her voice. “Who am I kidding? I’ve been suppressing my feelings and opinions for most of my life no matter where I lived. It’s safer that way. I’m learning, however, that some things are worth fighting for. Like Sugar Tots and the Cupcake Lovers and…” She palmed her queasy stomach.

  “And what?” Rocky shifted to the edge of her seat.

  Rae tensed. She was dangerously out of sorts—in mind and body. She reached into her purse in search of her phone. “I’m sorry, Rocky. I’m not feeling well. The jet-lag thing,” she lied. “Excuse me while I call a cab. I’ll share my idea regarding the Cupcake Lovers while I wait.”

  “No need for a cab.” Rocky shoved out of the chair. “I’ll drive you.”

  “I don’t want to put you out.”

  “You’re not. Come on. You can tell me your idea in the car. You’re staying at the Pine and Periwinkle, right?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” Rae followed Rocky into the hall, feeling weary and embarrassed. She’d taken on too much for one day, her first day. A fortifying meal and a good night’s sleep would work wonders. An ally in the Monroe camp would also help. “I don’t know how long I’ll be in town,” Rae said as they pulled on their coats. “I might even … There’s a chance I might move back for good.”

  Rocky raised one brow while looping a scarf around her neck. “Aside from Sugar Tots and the Cupcake Lovers … does this move have anything to do with Sam?”

  “No.”

  “Luke?”

  For the first time this day, Rae pulled a Rachel and averted her gaze. “It’s complicated.”

  “Mmm.” Rocky opened the door then paused and turned. “Are you and my brother involved in some way? Did he come on to you when you worked at the Shack? Is that why you blew out of town? Things have been tense between Sam and Luke and I wondered…”

  Rae flushed and she knew in that moment that she’d verified Rocky’s suspicions.

  The woman sighed. “I love Luke, but you do know he’s a player, right?”

  “We’re not involved.”

  “Then why do I sense trouble?” Rocky waited a tense full minute then grunted and ventured outside.

  Rae followed and climbed into her jeep. She had no intention of confiding all in this woman. Not yet. But she was desperate to strike some sort of truce. “Can I ask you something? Was it easy for you and Jayce?”

  “God, no.”

  “But worth the fight?”

  “At the risk of encouraging you, worth every battle scar.” Rocky keyed the ignition and cranked the heat. “The thing is, Rae, we were in love. We’d been in love for years. Are you saying you’re in love with Luke? I mean, I get it. Women fall for his boyish charm all the time. And Luke, Christ, if you ask him he’ll tell you he’s been in love a hundred times.”

  Rocky wasn’t telling Rae anything she didn’t already know. And she didn’t have any illusions where Luke’s feelings were concerned. Her own feelings, however, were a bit of an enigma.

  “Sam probably wouldn’t appreciate me saying,” Rocky said, “but I’m pretty sure he’s still carrying a torch for you.”

  “I told Sam I don’t feel that way about him.”

  “That doesn’t negate his feelings. You’re the first woman he’s expressed any interest in at all since Paula,” Rocky went on. “I don’t have to tell you what a good man Sam is. If you’re attracted to my brother, you should tell Sam. Please don’t let this thing blindside him.”

  Rae rubbed an ache in her chest. It seemed pointless to deny what she’d already hinted at. “I’ve been … infatuated with Luke for a long time. It’s a mess and I’m no
t sure it can be fixed, but you’re right, I should let Sam know my heart is elsewhere.”

  “With Luke.” Rocky sighed. “You could have any guy in the world…” she said as she backed out of the drive.

  Rae smirked. “Because I’m rich?”

  “And beautiful.”

  “Believe it or not, that’s not always a blessed combination.”

  “You’re also smart and kind.”

  Rae cut her a glance.

  “Like you said, you’ve only changed on the outside.” Rocky smiled a little, the way she used to smile at Rachel. “Just took me a minute to get that.”

  ELEVEN

  By the time Jayce got home, Rocky was stripped to her undies and a cami and snuggled under the covers with a fashion magazine. She’d bought a copy of In Style and two others like it on her way home from dropping off Rae. For the first time in her life she was seriously contemplating a makeover.

  She tossed aside the shallow periodical when Brewster jumped on the bed and muscled in to snuggle. “I missed you, too, fur-boy.” Rocky hugged the mixed breed then smiled into his big dopey eyes. Brewster was a rescue dog, a gift from Jayce, and her biggest source of joy—aside from Jayce himself. She glanced at her sexy fiancé while ruffling Brewster’s lopsided ears. “How was your meeting in Pixley?”

  “Interesting. How was your meeting with Rae?”

  “Enlightening.”

  Jayce eyed Brewster with a scant smile then jerked his thumb. “Off.”

  The dog leaped to the hardwood floor then curled up in his own pillow-soft, fleece-lined bed along with his plush stuffed tiger. Brewster was a tad spoiled.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, Jayce leaned over Rocky, eyes sparkling. “Hey, baby.”

  “Hey.” The sight of Jayce Bello always tripped her pulse, but the nearness of the man scattered her senses to the four winds. It had been like this ever since she was ten.

  The sinfully gorgeous bad boy nodded toward her abandoned copy of Vogue. “What’s up with the glamor mag?”

  “I was thinking about a makeover.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “How do you think I’d look as a brunette?”

  “Hot.”

  “What about a redhead?”

  “Hot.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “What if I shaved my head bald?”

  He angled his head as if conjuring the image. “Wildly fuckable.”

  She gave his shoulder a playful thump. “A lot of help you are.”

  He grinned. “Babe, I’d have a hard-on for you if you had a blue Mohawk—although that wasn’t a suggestion.” He kissed her then, a deep kiss that fired up her girly parts.

  She smiled when he eased away, traced her fingers over his sexy goatee. “You should be naked when you kiss me like that. Makes me want to jump your bones.”

  “Hold that thought.” He pushed up and leaned over to unlace his boots. “So what did Rae have to say about the Cupcake Lovers?”

  “She thinks she can use her celebrity status to respark the publisher’s enthusiasm for our project.”

  “Makes sense.”

  Rocky nodded. “Except I don’t get the feeling she’s all that comfortable with drawing attention to herself.”

  “I thought that was Rachel’s MO. Shy, modest.”

  “Believe it or not, obscene wealth and fashion taste aside, Rachel and Rae, are pretty much the same.”

  Jayce angled his head as he unbuckled his belt. “You think so, huh?”

  Rocky shifted to pull his T-shirt over his head. “You know different?”

  His silence spoke volumes.

  She jerked her thoughts from his muscled torso and focused on her new theory. “Remember that night I walked into the kitchen and interrupted a discussion between you and Luke?”

  “The night before Christmas Eve.”

  “Luke was angry and blew out the back door without saying good-bye to anyone. Then he skipped out completely on Christmas Eve. So not Luke. He said it was a personal emergency with an old friend. I asked you if you knew anything about it and you said—”

  “I said, I wasn’t at liberty to comment.” Jayce glanced over his bare shoulder. “That’s still the case, Dash.”

  She warmed at his pet name for her, but stayed the course. “I assumed Luke confided in you and you promised to keep whatever he told you under wraps. I thought maybe it had something to do with an old girlfriend. God knows he has hundreds. And he’s the biggest sucker in the world when it comes to a friend, especially a lady friend, in need.”

  “You going somewhere with this?”

  “I’ve reassessed my assumption. I think Luke hired you to find Rae. That’s why you can’t tell me anything. Professional confidentiality.”

  “If that’s what you think, why are you asking?”

  “I’m not asking. I’m surmising.” She watched as he shucked his jeans and boxers and climbed over her, buck naked, into bed. “You’re trying to distract me.”

  “I always sleep in the raw.”

  “Yeah, but you’ve got an ornery look in your eye.”

  “You’re the one who got all hot and bothered by a simple kiss.”

  “There was nothing simple about that kiss.”

  He rolled into her. “Allow me to complicate matters further.”

  She braced her palm on his chest. “Hold that thought.”

  Sighing, Jayce rolled back to his own pillow and placed his hands behind his head. “Go on. Surmise.”

  “Rae admitted she’s been infatuated with Luke for a long time and that things are now a mess. I think they had a thing.”

  “As in an affair?”

  “He does boink his waitresses on a pretty regular basis.”

  “Nice way to talk about your brother.”

  “Just saying. Anyway, maybe it wasn’t an affair. Maybe Luke just flirted with Rae and Sam caught wind of it. Maybe Sam confronted Luke and they had words. Think about it, Luke had a black eye the day after Rae disappeared.”

  “He said he was distracted and walked into a doorjamb.”

  “Maybe he walked into Sam’s fist.”

  “That’s a lot of surmising, Dash.”

  “None of which you’ll confirm or deny.”

  “I can honestly say I’m not privy to any of your conjecture.”

  She frowned. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “So Luke didn’t hire you to find Rae? He didn’t fly out to California on Christmas Eve to … I don’t know. Talk her into coming back?”

  Jayce reached over and tugged on one of her curls. “You need to let this go, babe.”

  “Why?”

  “It’s none of our business. Whatever it is, it will work itself out.”

  “Like us?”

  “If they’re lucky.” He rolled back on top of her, pinning her between the soft mattress and his hard body. “About that makeover. Maybe we should start with some wigs. A couple of costumes.”

  Every intimate part of Rocky throbbed. “Costumes?”

  “The redheaded nurse. The tight-bunned librarian.”

  Rocky pushed and shifted, reversing their position. Quirking a naughty grin, she shoved Jayce’s hands above his head and squirmed against his erection. “What about the raven-bobbed dominatrix?”

  Eyes dancing, the natural dominator feigned submission. “Works for me, Dash. With or without the wig.”

  TWELVE

  Sam’s morning started like every morning. Waking up alone. Staring at the ceiling. Listening for activity.

  Rarely did he hear a sound, mostly because he woke before the kids roused. He’d always been a light sleeper, part of his combat training. Ever since he’d become a single parent, he was even more on guard.

  What if Ben or Mina woke up sick or with a nightmare? What if one of them walked in their sleep and fell down the stairs?

  In the hour to two before sunrise, his mind turned to the upcoming day. Making sure they were up in time, dressed, fed, and off to sc
hool. Mental reminders regarding any homework or upcoming events. Did he need to book a babysitter? Had he agreed to any playdates or sleepovers? What was he making for supper? Did he need to stop by Oslow’s?

  Sometimes his mind would slip to the past. How it had been before Paula died. How she’d handled the kids and managed the household with such fricking joy. Sam wasn’t keen on dusting or vacuuming or folding laundry. Paula had tackled domestic chores with a smile. She’d taken pride in their home the way Sam took pride in his carpentry. He missed her infectious laugh, her shitty taste in music, the smell of her fruity shampoo. He missed her touch. Her company.

  After two long years of grieving, Sam was ready to move on. He wanted a woman in his bed, in his life. A companion. A lover. A mother for his children.

  His mind was set on Rae.

  She loved kids. Was great with kids. She already had a comfortable relationship with both Ben and Mina. She was quiet, kind of like Sam, and she was kind. Kind and pretty. She was also loaded. If he thought she was a snob, the money thing would bug him. But he didn’t get that vibe. There was plenty he didn’t know about Rae, but one thing was certain—she had a gentle soul and a good heart. If she gave Sam half a chance, he was certain he could make her happy. Except he’d promised he wouldn’t press.

  That was the only reason Sam was on his way to the Rothfield Farm instead of the Pine and Periwinkle. He’d told Rocky he’d meet up with Harper Day. He’d agreed to tour the woman’s house, assess what needed to be done and how much he could do. If he could help his cousin prepare for her wedding by taking the flaky publicist off her hands for a couple of weeks, he figured, what the hell? After multiple tours overseas, Sam was certain his and Rocky’s idea of “bad” were two different things. He’d weathered active combat, he could handle Harper Day.

  Just as Sam turned off of 105 onto 236, his cell rang. “Yeah.”

  “Are you on your way to Harper’s?” Rocky asked.

  “You thought I’d back out?”

  “No, but, how long do you think you’ll be?”

  “No idea. Why?”